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Thursday, March 1, 2012

Andrew Breitbart, Dead at 43.  
. . .And there was much rejoicing.

In news which is sure to send shockwaves through the malicious slander industry, oversized rodent Andrew Breitbart was found dead in his underground burrow. Although the cause of death is still unconfirmed, speculation is rampant that Mr. Breitbart either suffocated after crawling too far up his own ass, or that his heart collapsed under the weight of so many different varieties of bullshit.

When reached for comment, Satan issued the following statement:

"While it is sad to see Andy leave this mortal plane with so much hatred and dishonesty left to spread, I am looking forward to having him down here with me, deepthroating me nightly for all eternity."


Anonymous said...

Since it would be irresponsible not to speculate, what was a fifty-something year-old man with four kids and a wife at home doing on the streets of Westwood after midnight in the middle of the week? Practicing his family values, no doubt.

Anonymous said...

Wait, he was 43? Really? Man, being a nasty prick really does take its toll.