Friday, September 18, 2009

Carrie Prejean Speaks!






















So the former Miss California, Carrie "Opposite marriage" Prejean made her appearance at the prestigious Value Voters Summit. Let's see what heft she added to the no doubt scintillating discourse.

(Note: for the purposes of this post, the word "prestigious" will be assumed to mean "preposterous" and "scintillating discourse" will refer to "blah, blah, blah, death panels, second ammendment, blah blah Muslims blah blah gay people are scary!" )






So let's see what she had to say for herself:
"There was something wrong with turning on the TV and seeing people mock me for my faith,"

Yeah, it wasn't really your faith people were mocking so much as your dumbth.*

"Seeing people make fun of me for being a Christian, trying to discredit me, trying to embarrass me -- it didn't make sense to me."

Other things which don't make sense to Ms. Prejean include, but are not limited to:

Mathematics
Science
Why some people are left-handed
How come Peter Parker is never around when Spiderman saves the day.
Basic rules of grammar and syntax.
How that sign at the mall always knows where you are.

"The moment the judge asked it, I tried to stand there and look pretty, but in my head I could not believe that they were asking that question at Miss USA,"

Ah! I see why she couldn't formulate a coherent answer, she was putting so much effort into standing there while simultaneously trying to look pretty. It does seem unfair to ask her to perform a third task concurrently.

"I could not believe it. I thought that it was extremely inappropriate for that venue. Any other venue it would have been all right."

Any other venue? So it would be just fine to ask that question at say, a funeral? Or during a job interview? Or at a gay wedding? Only the Miss USA pageant is an inappropriate venue for such a question. We must preserve the integrity of a Donald-Trump owned prettiness contest for ladies who didn't qualify for Miss America!

"I feel as though I'm Miss Universe."

Does that count? Oh, then I feel as though I'm Brad Pitt!

"I am so proud of the stance that I took. I'm so proud of the answer that I gave, and God chose me for that moment. He chose me for that moment because he knew that I would not only be the one to stick up for him and for the truth, but also he knew that I am strong enough to get through all of the junk that I have been through."



* (Dumbth is a word coined by Steve Allen as a measure of dumb. As width is to wide, so dumbth is to dumb)

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