'Cuz it's pretty nutty!
Here's what they have to say about Halloween:
"Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."
Oh, yeah. They're serious! Deadly Serious!
They don't mean demons in your candy the way that prohibitionists spoke of "demon rum." They mean DEMONS!!!!Okay, what else you got on Halloween?
The Celtic peoples lived in northern France, throughout the United Kingdom, and in Ireland. They engaged in occult arts, worshiped nature, and gave nature supernatural, animistic qualities.
Okay, looks like maybe you folks can be normal after all. Go on, you were saying about the Druids?
I'm sorry, what?
Crop circles? go on, pull the other one!
Here's another scaaaarrrryyyy story to put you in the Halloween Mood.
“I could tell it was spelling something, but it was going so fast I couldn’t tell what it saying but I saw my name. It was saying, ‘I’m gonna kill you, Tara. I’m gonna kill you, Tara’ over and over.
She stopped playing with the Ouija board, but Tara’s life was dominated by loneliness and fear.
“I felt so alone. I felt like I didn’t have anybody. It’s almost like I was under this dark could of oppression. I opened that door to evil into my life. It brought in destruction. It brought in a dark oppression in my life. It seemed like everything from that point forward was spiraling downward.”
Strange things occurred around her, objects moved through her room at night, loud noises would echo through the house when no one else was home.
“I heard stomping up and down the hall, and I thought my dad’s home and he is not too happy. I ended up looking out into the hall and there was nobody there.”
Tara eventually got married and moved out of the house, but the darkness went with her.
“I would hear this loud evil chanting. I didn’t understand the language. It didn’t really sound like a human voice. It didn’t sound like a human voice could talk in that tone and be that loud. It felt like it was right there. You could definitely tell that it wasn’t outside. It was inside the house.”
Tara’s marriage eventually fell apart. One night as she slept she had a vivid dream that she was violently murdered.
Then I woke up. I opened up my eyes, and it just hit me that one day I’m going to die.
And now. . . . The Punchline:
Tara is now a prayer counselor with The 700 Club.
Here's another Halloween-themed article:Halloween
Suffer Not the Trick-or-Treaters
of a market of 3-13 year olds?
No. No one has ever wondered that. Just like no one has ever wondered why the World series appeals primarily to baseball fans. But go on.
Huh?
This is the state of some of the American children who are showing up at your doorstep on October 31st. I'm not saying that each of them are secret agents of the occult, yet it is important to consider the souls of the children behind the masks.
Are you sure? Are you sure that they're not all secret devil agents? How can we be so sure? Shouldn't we just run and hide from the little children just to be on the safe side?
So we should be afraid of every child we ever see anywhere, then. Right?
Gosh, I wonder what could be making the children so darn evil?
I think maybe you're thinking of the 1970's?
Not that any of these guys were actually occultists either, any more than Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi were really monsters, but anyway. . .
Okay, one more spoooooky article, then it's lights out, kids!
OCCULT
Do Vampires and Ghosts Really Exist?
By Steve Russo
Ooh, ooh! call on me! I know the answer! It's NO!
Isn't it?
Are vampires real?
Oh, Come On!
Do ghosts exist?
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say no?
Um, No?
What? No. No, that is not the . . . no. No! How is that your "reasonable possibility?" Reasonable possibilities are things like "that noise is just the house settling" or "the flickering firelight makes the shadows look like they're moving." or "you had a bad dream."
Demons?
The way I understand it, aren't demons sentenced to an eternity in Hell? How are they getting time off to come up to Earth and haunt people or make their ouija boards issue death threats? Who's in charge down there, Micheal Dukakis?
(if you're under 40, google Micheal Dukakis + Willie Horton)
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Oh, man. I'm doing it. I'm signing up right now. This is too good a freak show to pass up!
Uh huh. Tried to sign up, but my children attacked me with their treat buckets. I am afraid, very...you know...afraid.
ReplyDeleteThis must explain the evil child prank of TP-ing the houses that do not give out treats. The devil makes them do it. Oh wait, the demons come WITH the candy, so not providing candy should bring holiness and good behavior. I'm getting confused.
ReplyDeleteAnd they completely forgot to mention that ghosts and vampires might be space aliens. Every bit as plausible as the explanation offered.