Father of the Year

Micheal Lohan is a scumbag.

The kind of scumbag that looks at his daughter's personal problems and thinks "this oughta be worth some dough."

Here's a picture of him creeping out Kim Kardashian.

Do you know how hard it is to creep out someone who lives with Bruce Jenner?


Anyway, according to the New York Post which, I know, is not exactly a reputable source, but in this case I believe them, Mike has been somehow taping phone conversations between daughter Lindsey and her mother. And trying to sell them.

[Micheal Lohan] at first demanded $100,000 for his story and secret recordings of daughter Lindsay and wife Dina. . . Lohan had been shopping his tapes around TV networks but was turned down, and eventually struck a deal with RadarOnline.com to reveal the tapes for free, followed by a paid interview.

Michael told us that a six-figure demand for the tapes "was a complete lie," but when asked if he was paid for his interview, he said, "That's in the hands of my lawyers. They deal with that."

translation: Hell yeah, I got paid!

So when you get caught doing something that scummy, what do you do? Apologize? Nooooo. Not if you're Mike Lohan. If you're Mike, you go with the self-righteous routine.

He insisted, "This isn't about money or getting paid, it's about saving my daughter."

But hey, I ain't saving her for free, you know! Daddy gots to get paid!

You want to know how serious Mike is about the daughter-saving benefits of releasing her private phone conversations? here's what he has to say about Lindsey's comments regarding her parents' troubled marriage:

"That's a lie. I guess Lindsay is on more drugs than I thought to say something like that. Now I'm going to release more recordings that prove everything she is saying is nothing more than a bunch of lies.

Wow. Seriously, Mike, have you ever heard the expression "be the bigger man?" Just be the bigger man and walk away from the fight? Honestly, you're really the one sounding like a teenage girl whose boyfriend was just stolen by that bitch Megan who thinks she's all that cuz she's a cheerleader and her mom is rich and bought her a car for her birthday, but she's such a slut, I swear to God!

Oh, and speaking of God,

"No wonder why God is taking her entire career away from her," Michael continued. "Because she's forsaken everything He's given her and she's done nothing but misuse all the gifts she's given."

Yeah, seeing as how you're one of the "gifts" the man upstairs has given her, I hope she got the receipt.

See, I don't think it's God that's taking her career away. I think it's the drugs and booze.
And also the utter lack of any discernible talent, but mostly the drugs and booze. And it's probably not God who drover her to drugs and booze. I don't think God cheated on her mother, I don't think God was the alcoholic, unstable male presence in her life. And I''m pretty sure that God isn't feuding publicly with her on the interwebs.
Those are all things that describe you, Micheal. Look, this is what your own daughter has to say about you:

He's a deadbeat dad. He's disgusting to do this. He doesn't deserve attention. He needs help...

"She (Dina) blames herself for staying (with) him for so long, I'd beg her not to leave (because) he always threatened to kill her if she did...after disappearing, then coming home after being gone for several days while cheating on my mother&abusing substances... I haven't had a real relationship (with) Michael Sr. in years. That is the truth."

So, yeah. You're not helping. seriously, all you can do is make things worse. I think you ought to just leave the poor girl alone.
Here are a couple of issues with which you can occupy yourself.

LINDSAY Lohan's sleazebag dad, Michael Lohan, is in trouble again -- this time for allegedly threatening to kill his fiancée and himself when she tried to dump him. Michael was quietly arrested on April 6 for a phone threat cops said he placed to off-again, on-again gal pal Erin Muller, 34, on March 18.

And:

He couldn't have picked a better time for the alleged threat, because terms of his parole ended on Feb. 7. He's due in family court in Westbury today, when he'll have to explain why he's behind in child support -- by $12,000, sources told The Post.

So, go ahead and have the last word, Mike.

"I have more recordings which will further back up what I have said so far. I will release them. I will not stop until Lindsay goes to rehab."

And by "goes to rehab" I of course mean"pays the blackmail money."

Hmm, anything you can say to make it worse?

When you hug her she's like, vacant inside. When she kisses or holds me I get chills, and not in a good way-in a bad way."

Eeewww, when you are speaking of your daughter, you shouldn't have to clarify that the chills she is giving you are "not in a good way." Jeezus, it's not like we think you're John Philips. . . . Ohhhh, shit. You are John Philips, aren't you?