Scene: The Oval Office.
President Obama is kneeling on his prayer rug, stroking his Hitler mustache and reading Mao's Little Red Book. Suddenly, a fiendish idea occurs to him. He jumps up and presses the intercom button.
Obama
Miss Johnson? Send in my henchmen!
Ms Johnson (off screen)
Right away, mein fuhrer!
Ms Johnson (off screen)
Right away, mein fuhrer!
Several Jack-booted thugs in ACORN shirts enter.
Henchman #1
You wanted to see us, Dear Leader?
Obama
Yes, I just had a great idea. I'm going to eliminate my enemies!
Obama
Yes, I just had a great idea. I'm going to eliminate my enemies!
Henchman # 2
But Sir, it's just that that seems almost too evil, even for us!
Obama
How dare you question the great emperor? Have this man taken out and beaten with Korans!
Henchman # 3
Right away, your excellency!
Henchman # 1
So, your majesty, how will we be eliminating the target? Gunfire? Explosion? Putin-poison?
Obama
No, I mean really eliminate the enemy! Eliminate him from the Internet!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!
Henchman #1
But your highness, it's it's. . . impossible!
Obama
Nothing is impossible with the help of my friends in the left-wing media!
Henchman #3
So, your excellency, whom shall we eliminate?
Bill O'Reilly has shown a distinct lack of faith in you!
Obama
No, I need a much bigger target!
Henchman # 1
Rush Limbaugh?
Obama
Too obvious! I was thinking the target should be a loony toons blogger no one has ever heard of!
Henchman #1
Surely not. . .
Obama
YES! I say we eliminate Sher Zieve!
Obama
Bring me my villain hat!
Aha! Now she has a mere 8000 entries! Victory is mine!
Henchman # 2
But, Excellency, she hasn't been eliminated. Her internet presence has just been reduced somewhat! She has not been silenced!
Obama
How the hell did you get back in here? Guards! Take this man to the death panel!
But Sir, it's just that that seems almost too evil, even for us!
Obama
How dare you question the great emperor? Have this man taken out and beaten with Korans!
Henchman # 3
Right away, your excellency!
Henchman # 1
So, your majesty, how will we be eliminating the target? Gunfire? Explosion? Putin-poison?
Obama
No, I mean really eliminate the enemy! Eliminate him from the Internet!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!
Henchman #1
But your highness, it's it's. . . impossible!
Obama
Nothing is impossible with the help of my friends in the left-wing media!
Henchman #3
So, your excellency, whom shall we eliminate?
Bill O'Reilly has shown a distinct lack of faith in you!
Obama
No, I need a much bigger target!
Henchman # 1
Rush Limbaugh?
Obama
Too obvious! I was thinking the target should be a loony toons blogger no one has ever heard of!
Henchman #1
Surely not. . .
Obama
YES! I say we eliminate Sher Zieve!
All henchmen gasp in unison
Obama
Bring me my villain hat!
Obama begins typing on his desktop computer
Let's see, it says here that she has over a million "entries" on Google and Yahoo! Well, I'll just click here, and enter my secret new-world-order code word, and. . .Obama
Aha! Now she has a mere 8000 entries! Victory is mine!
Henchman # 2
But, Excellency, she hasn't been eliminated. Her internet presence has just been reduced somewhat! She has not been silenced!
Obama
How the hell did you get back in here? Guards! Take this man to the death panel!
Crikey! It's downright paranormal how you've channeled the "Mind Like a Zieve" so masterfully while exposing the diabolical agenda of the unPresident.
ReplyDeleteHats off to you, Professor.
Sher Zieve has no chance against our Prez in his mad-cool villain hat!
ReplyDelete