Note: GOPPY is not an actual elephant. He represents the personification of the problem-solving skills of today's G.O.P.
Question #1:
Dear GOPPY, the Bush tax cuts created huge deficits. What should be done to correct this?
I know, make the tax cuts permanent!
Question #2:
Dear GOPPY, de-regulating the banks led them to take huge risks with other peoples' money, crashing the economy and leading to a taxpayer-funded bailout. How can we ensure that this doesn't happen again?
Hmm, let me think. . .
I know, fewer cumbersome regulations!
Question #3:
Dear GOPPY, A bunch of kids got killed with guns.
What would you recommend to prevent this from recurring?
That's an easy one! More guns!
Question #4:
Dear GOPPY, My marriage is in trouble because my husband can't forgive me for having an affair.
What can I do to regain his trust?
HMM. . .That is a difficult issue. . .
I know! You should fuck a bunch of different dudes!
Question #5:
Dear GOPPY, I think I may be an alcoholic. I want to stop, but I'm afraid I can't. What should I do?
Try drinking lots of booze!
Goppy the GOP elephant! Doubling down on bad ideas since at least 1980.
Goppy must be Dumbo's cousin!
ReplyDeleteDumbo would be very offended.
ReplyDelete