Someone is selling this weird little tchotchke on the net:
Which is weird enough to begin with, but check out the kid on the right. He's tackling Jesus!
Fuck you, you little bastard, you don't tackle Jesus!
Also, someone painted this:
Hey, asshole. Jesus is calling for a lateral! When Jesus calls for a lateral, you goddamm well lateral that ball to Jesus! Don't be a fucking ball hog!
Apparently, Jesus is big into sports. Who knew?
Ha ha! I'm so much taller than you!
Dammit, Jesus, this is no fun!
He plays a lot of basketball:
Bitch, you can't guard me. You got nothin'!
And hockey:
Verily, I say unto thee: Helmets are for pussies!
His hands-on approach to baseball coaching gets a little creepy:
And the less said about this, the better:
Yeah, I don't think that's really Jesus. Have you seen any ID?
He's the one that made Romo fumble that snap in 2007:
Ha ha, I had the Seahawks and the points!
He coaches karate!
Wait, he coaches karate?
Turn the other cheek method! If done right, can not defeat!
He even makes up his own sports!
Okay, Jimmy, you take the snap from center, pass it to Jenny who whacks it with a bat, then Suzie scores a three-pointer. It can't miss!
I said I like sports. I didn't say I understood them!
Wait a minute. He's fighting a girl. That boy is fighting a girl? How can Jesus sanction this bout?
Y'know, they run criminal background checks on all kids' coaches these days. His Roman rap sheet is gonna turn up.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, Jesus is reminding me a little to much of the "creepy coach" for my liking.
ReplyDeletePut a #15 jersey on that Jesus who's calling for a lateral, and you have Tim Tebow trying to execute a forward pass.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'.
You know, now that you mention it, I never have seen the two of them in the same place at the same time. Hmm. . .
DeleteNot surprised. It is well known that Jesus is an All-American kinda guy.
ReplyDeleteOn a more serious note...did anyone else noticed that all the kids are white?