Goddammit, Florida! Really?

If you've ever been to Florida, then you know that pretty much everyone who lives their is just nuts. It's the kind of place where it makes perfect sense that of course Aaron Hernandez and Tim Tebow would be teammates and probably besties.

Forget it, Jake. It's Florida.



So of course Florida is the gun-humpinnest state in the Union. (nice try, Tennessee)

Well, it turns out, this being Florida, after all, that even the damn cops can't be trusted with guns!

Florida Cops Shoot Unarmed Black Man In His Mother’s Driveway

By Rebecca Leber on July 29, 2013 at 2:46 pm

This weekend, deputies from Escambia County, Florida shot an unarmed man who went to grab cigarettes from the car parked in the driveway of his mother’s home. A neighbor called police at 2 a.m. because he suspected 60-year-old Roy Middleton was stealing the car.

Roy Middleton, 60.

Doesn't look dangerous, but he might have been wearing a hoodie!

 



Why would sheriff's deputies shoot an unarmed man who wasn't even suspected of anything violent? Trick question, because it's fucking Florida!

 

Things quickly escalated when two deputies arrived and ordered Middleton to “get your hands where I can see them,” the Pensacola News Journal reports:

[Middleton] said he initially thought it was a neighbor joking with him, but when he turned his head he saw deputies standing halfway down his driveway.
He said he backed out of the vehicle with his hands raised, but when he turned to face the deputies, they immediately opened fire.
“It was like a firing squad,” he said. “Bullets were flying everywhere.”

The deputies reportedly fired about seven shots at the unarmed man;

Now here's the one positive thing about this being Florida is the cops fired seven shots and only connected once.

Several neighbors said they heard the commotion, but weren’t entirely sure why events unfolded the way they did.

"Oh, right, because we live in fucking Florida," they later added.

A teenage girl who said she witnessed a portion of the incident said she never saw Middleton provoke the deputies.
“He wasn’t belligerent or anything,“ she said.
Middleton, too, said he doesn’t understand how or why the incident escalated so quickly. He also said deputies never offered him an explanation or an apology.


Here's your explanation. It's fucking Florida!