Lack of Perspective

Paula Deen thinks that Paula Deen is sorta like Micheal Sam.

Seriously.

Deen says in the People magazine coming out Friday that "I'm fighting to get my name back. I feel like 'embattled' or 'disgraced' will always follow my name. It's like that black football player who recently came out," Deen said, referring to NFL prospect Michael Sam. "He said, 'I just want to be known as a football player. I don't want to be known as a gay football player.' I know exactly what he's saying."

How?

How does she know what. . . wait, first of all, who says "black football player" like that's something unusual? Like how old guys sometimes say "lady doctor" or "lady cop" because they still think that female doctors or cops are unusual. Does she not know that there are lots and lots of black football players? They're even allowed to play quarterback now, Paula!

Also, Micheal Sam is saying he doesn't want to be known for being unusually courageous, for taking a big risk in the interests of advancing the cause of equality, whereas you don't like being known as a racist. Not really the same thing, you know.

“I’m fighting to get my name back,” says Deen, who adds that weathering the scandal involved facing her “greatest fear.”
“I used to have dreams that I lost everything,” she says. “And when it finally happens, you think, ‘I’m still alive.’ ”

Yes, you totally lost everything. EVERYTHING!
Except you're still really rich.
And you still have a hugely successful restaurant.
And people still buy your cookbooks.
And you'll probably be invited to CPAC.

But other than that, yeah you lost everything! It's a miracle you survived!

Oh, but don't woory, you may be getting another chance to pull yourself up out of destitution:

Nearly nine months later, she is now hoping to reboot her business with a new company funded by a $75 million deal with private investment firm Najafi Companies.

Hopefully you'll be able to survive on that!