Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Bad Ads - Liberty Mutual (I fixed the video)

Liberty Mutual Insurance has recently been running a series of ads featuring the whiniest bunch of mopes complaining about their insurance coverage. They are so annoying I actually find myself on the side of the insurance companies. I find myself yelling things at the screen like "you got into an accident, of course your rates went up, idiot!"

Yeah, the accident is "no big deal" to you, but the insurance company has to pay out, so naturally your rates go up because you are a worse risk than they originally thought and goddammit, you just made me defend a fucking insurance company!

Jeezus Christ, you had the car for what, one hour, and you wrap it around a fucking tree? How is that not your fault? That tree wasn't moving, ya know. And what, the insurance company is just supposed to pretend like this is just one of those things that happens to people? You've made one payment on your policy and they're already out like 20 grand because you can't avoid a fucking tree! And you're going to whine about this? Like it's so unfair that your rates went up after you did the most cartoonishly irresponsible bit of driving possible? You're a menace! You're lucky they didn't cancel your policy, notify the DMV and make it their goal in life to prevent you ever buying another car. But sure, be a big baby about a rate increase, that's super endearing.

Then there's this moron:

So it's insurance for people who can't grasp the concept of depreciation?
That's a hell of a target market.


  1. They will pay plenty for that you can bet on it. I even put a tracking chip in my car to lower the cost. What a racket and a huge pain in the ass to shop for affordable car insurance. Before the end of the month I have to shop for a supplemental policy for Medicare. I just dread it.

  2. my car insurance is $50/month; I drive a 2001 model, and I have 6 policies with the same insurance company, so I save a bundle (see what I did there?).

    I have never been in a accident either in 45 years of driving.

    now I'mma not gonna watch the commercials, but from what you described, what a load of fucking crybabies! it's LIFE, fuckwads; you fucked up; GET OVER IT!

  3. I never thought I'd feel sorry for insurance companies. Nah...I still don't.

    However, a lot of pissin' n' moanin' doesn't get my sympathy either. Bugger the fuck cry babies.

  4. OK, typo...should be: Bugger the fuck OFF cry babies.

  5. Thanks for the laugh.
    The commercials are idiotic, but I thank the ad folks for 'em because without them you wouldn't have had this hysterical rant!

  6. The main thing I don't understand is how come these drivers are not injured or on crutches hobbling around.
    They total their car or pick-up truck either getting T-boned or running head-on into a tree or telephone pole (or whatever)---yet they're well-groomed, sharply dressed and prancing around with ease, bitching away about "rate increases".

  7. Good summary on why these advertisements can incite anyone with an average or better IQ and a low tolerance for bullshit into a murderous rage. Liberty keeps popping these stupid things out and paying to have them in the rotation on almost every cable channel, once per commercial break during most times of day as far as I can tell. While all insurance company commercials irritate the hell out of me, I have a special hatred in my heart for these. There are people that really are stupid enough to believe everything they hear and see on TV. I know. I work in television advertising.

    They are feeding people this narrative that insurance companies are out to screw over their customers, and work in a surprising amount of outright misinformation and lies.

    - The idiots that feel dicked over because "the insurance company claims depreciation". Yes. Like most things, your car loses value when it becomes "used". It's common knowledge that your car loses value once you drive it for any distance. This is why I will never buy a new car - it's one of the worst investments you can make because you'll always lose money.
    - The dumb bitch that claims she did all this research prior to buying her car. She knows enough about cars to know about powerbands, gear ratios, and torque...but she can't grasp why an insurance company raises her rates, and again, can't comprehend depreciation.
    -The notion they often propagate that when you are in an accident where you were NOT at fault, that YOUR insurance company is the one you'll be dealing with. No. If "Wham! A mini-van t-bones yuh." it's the oblivious soccer mom's insurance company that you'll be dealing with.

    Your rates don't go up (at least in this state) if you're in an accident caused by someone else. I've had two such incidents happen in the last five years (both cause by oblivious morons) that resulted in the totalling of one vehicle and a couple grand worth of body work to the one I bought after that. In neither case did I have to deal with my own insurance company, nor did my rates go up.

    Glad I found a site where someone is just as irritated about stupid shit as I am. Yes, there are more important things in life, but the little things piss me the fuck off now and then!