Friday, May 26, 2017

Bad Ads -- Tecate




None of this makes sense.




Okay, the first couple seconds, where he's punching a beehive I kinda get, but the rest?
First of all, why does Stallone feel like he has to use what I assume is his entire Spanish vocabulary to tell the other guy that his black eye is not good? I've had a black eye, I assume most of you have had one at one time or another (judging by your disrespectful attitudes!) everyone knows that a black eye is not "bueno."
Then he tells him to "be bold" by putting the steak on his eye. How is that bold? Hasn't this been a folk remedy for a black eye since forever? Also, does it even work?  * Okay, it doesn't matter if it works, there's just nothing "bold" about putting a steak on a black eye. It's just a thing people do.

Then the other guy, who seems to speak English by the way, so I don't know why Stallone feels he has to pantomime things for him, tosses the streak on the grill and replies "be bolder!" How does that make any sense? How is using a steak for its intended purpose "bold?" Like, I could put the steak on my eye, but I'm going to do something, well. . . a little bit risky. You might think I'm crazy, but I'm going to take this slab of meat and cook it! And then presumably eat it. I know, I know, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Fortune favors the bold!

And this is somehow supposed to make me want to buy their beer? I don't get it.


* according to the American Academy of Ophthalmology: Despite what you see in movies or on television, you should never put a raw steak or other raw meat on a black eye. The bacteria on raw meat poses a high risk of infection, and this method of treating a black eye has no scientific basis.


2 comments:

  1. Of all the weird shit Stallone's done over the years, that's right up there!

    I got a black eye when I was 10 years old. My friend Alfie hauled off and hit me in the face with his metal lunch box on the way to school. C'est la vie though. I used to throw rocks at him so I guess we were even.

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  2. Forget about Stallone's baloney. Having been cold-cocked due to my disrespectful attitude, on many occasions, I have found that a much more effective food product for a black eye is...raw broccoli. If no broccoli is available...a bunch of asparagus...works almost as well...just a tad more slippery that's all.

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