Our 51st State.

New California declares "independence" from rest of state

Oy.

Okay, first of all, "New California," no you didn't. You absolutely did not get a majority of the people living in whichever part of the state you think should secede to sign on to this. It's like me saying that my neighborhood is seceding from Atlanta without getting any of the neighbors to sign on.

What do ya got there, about 10 people? Maybe a dozen? Do all the millions of other people who live in your part of California even have an inkling that you've just declared Independence on their behalf?

SACRAMENTO -- With the reading of their own version of a Declaration of Independence, founders of the state of New California took the first steps to what they hope will eventually lead to statehood. CBS Sacramento reports they don't

want to leave the United States, just California.

Well, sure. Wanting to leave the United States would just be silly. You need to set realistic goals.


And which part of California would you like to slice off into the creatively-named "New California?"

The blue part?

I mean.
You do know where the money comes from, right?
You're going to excise Los Angeles, San Francisco and Silicon Valley? I mean, sure you'll have Fresno and the surrounding agricultural area, but No film industry, no Bank of America, no Google,  no Marriott Hotels, no Intuit, no Oracle,  no Northrup Grumman, no Occidental Petroleum, no Mattel Toys, no Kaiser Permanente, no Clorox, no Facebook. . . well, you get the picture. Good luck replacing all that revenue.

So, anyway, what is the problem you have with California Classic?

"Well, it's been ungovernable for a long time. High taxes, education, you name it, and we're rated around 48th or 50th from a business climate and standpoint in California," said founder Robert Paul Preston.

Ungovernable? What does that even mean? I mean, I know what "ungovernable" means. Like the nation of Afghanistan is considered ungovernable because it is more a collection of independent clans than a coherent nation, but in the context of an American state, what the hell do you mean by "ungovernable?" Are the Governor, State Senate, State Assembly and state courts unable to enforce the laws? It's been several years since I've been back to California, but I find it hard to believe that the state has descended into anarchy since then and neither of my sisters would have called to let me know.

Also "high taxes, education, you name it" is an awfully vague listing of grievances. High taxes? Okay, I get why you'd object to that, but education? What about education? I assume you are saying that the California educational system is doing a poor job? Something like that? To be fair, the verrrrry conservative US News & World Report listed California as the 25th ranked state in education. Not great, but not terrible. Not as good as Massachusets, not as bad as South Carolina. Right in the middle. Do you really think that score will improve when you cut the big cities out and your schools are populated mainly by rural meth heads and migrant farm workers?






And sure, California has a fairly high tax rate, compared to a lot of states, but how high do you think your taxes are going to be when you no longer have the Bay Area and Los Angeles/Orange County paying in to the government coffers? When your tax payers are farmhands and river rafting guides, you're going to have to pay a much higher percentage to make up for no longer having computer programmers and aerospace engineers chipping in.




And you say California consistently ranks 48th or 50th in "business climate," but 5 seconds on Google (an "Old California" company) showed me that Forbes ranks them 31st. CNBC ranks them 28th. Sure, there are states that are more attractive to businesses, but do ya really think a bunch of CEOs are gonna decide "hey, let's move the home office to Yosemite!"?

And, you know, it's not like new companies are ever springing up in, say, Silicon Valley, amirite?

The state of New California would incorporate most of the state's rural counties, leaving the urban coastal counties to the current state of California.
"There's something wrong when you have a rural county such as this one, and you go down to Orange County which is mostly urban, and it has the same set of problems, and it happens because of how the state is being governed and taxed," Preston said.

Wait, what?

If your rural county has the same problems as (sub)urban Orange County, then you've pretty much blown your only real argument for secession. If you could argue that the problems of inland California are so vastly different than the problems of the coastal urban areas that no one government could really address both, you might have a leg on which to stand. But if you're saying that the problems are the same, then what's the advantage of splitting up?

What is it about coastal California that is so troubling to you?

Ohhhhhhh, right! Of course! Well, good luck to you. All ten of you. Good luck explaining to the millions of other people in rural California why you need them to join your new state.