This is just gross

The New York Times, that entity formerly known as our nation's "paper of record," and "one of the most prestigious papers in the world," managed to pry a couple of writers away from the "people are being rude to Alan Dersschowitz" nad "Trump voters still love Trump" beats to give us this important piece of reportage:

Still Standing, Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump Step Back in the Spotlight

They have waited out, and in some cases ground down, their critics, and are ready to make a more visible push for their projects.

Projects? What projects? They don't have projects. They have scams. They have grifts. They may even have cons. But projects?

Who is writing this nonsense?

By Maggie Haberman and Katie Rogers

Ah. Of course.

WASHINGTON — They disappointed climate change activists who thought they would keep President Trump from leaving the landmark Paris accord. 

Who? Who thought that? Who thought Binky and Mr. Binky were going to be able to get the world's most outlandish ego to do something he didn't want to do? And that's assuming that one would somehow believe that climate change is a something about which the Boobsey Twins care passionately.

They enraged Democrats and even some Republicans by not pushing back against his immigration policies,

No, see, you can't be enraged when someone fails to do a thing which you never had any expectation of them doing in the first place. Were there seriously people out there that thought that this woman

was going to "push back" on any of her father's policies? If she won't push back on the "copping a feel on my daughter" policy, against what would she ever push back? If your father getting handsy with you on national TV is not a line in the sand for you, what the hell would be?

and alienated business allies by their silence over threats to Nafta. They regularly faced news stories about their unpopularity.

Oh noes! Articles about their unpopularity? When they had done so much to make themselves seem lovable and admirable and, oh I can't even type this with a straight face. Of course they're unpopular that entire family is vile and loathsome and just grotesque. I would rather spend time with the Manson Family than the Trumps.

Even their relationship with the president seemed to suffer.

Yeah. Of course. That's who he is. He doesn't give a shit about anyone other than whether or not they are, at the moment, useful to him or are stroking his ego.
Do you think Jared has ever had a good relationship with Donald? You think Donald has ever been particularly nice to the man who gets to sleep with Ivanka every night, the one thing Donald has wanted but been unable to do? And more importantly - are we supposed to feel bad for them? They could be Tiffany. They could stay out of the public eye, just pretend to run their "businesses" and watch the checks roll in. But no, being undeservedly wealthy isn't enough for these people, they need to be told how important they are. They need fame they haven't earned and admiration they hardly merit. And the New York Times will always be there to make sure they get it.

And yet, after 18 months of bruising internal White House conflicts and bitter criticism that they have failed to be a moderating influence on the president, both Mr. Kushner and his wife, Ivanka Trump, the president’s elder daughter, are still in Washington and still working as aides to Mr. Trump. They are as comfortable — and as close to the center of the president’s orbit — as they have ever been.

And we're just going to go ahead and pretend that that's a good thing? They are two of the President's closest advisers despite having zero qualifications, no expertise, a complete lack of knowledge about anything and, correct me if I'm wrong, but no security clearances? And the story here is "oh, isn't it nice that these two have managed to worm their way back into the good graces of the most despicable man in America?"

As scrutiny of the couple often referred to as Javanka

No. No, they are not often referred to by "Javanka." Christ, even they don't deserve that!

It did not help that the president had gone from telling aides to “talk to Jared,” as he did during the campaign, to telling them that “Jared hasn’t been so good for me.” At various points, Mr. Trump told friends and his chief of staff, John F. Kelly, that he wished both Jared and Ivanka would return to New York.

Yeah.
That's who he is.
One day you're in his inner circle, the next he decides he just doesn't like you anymore.
Ask Steve Bannon. Or Reince Priebus. Or Rex Tillerson.

But as one staff member after another has disappointed him and has departed or been dispatched, Mr. Trump has retreated into the familiarity of his family — his daughter, above all, and eventually, her husband. As Mr. Trump, cut off from dissenting voices and convinced of his own popularity, has become more emboldened, so have his daughter and son-in-law.

Oh good! So there's three narcissistic delusional assholes running things.

It was only in May that Mr. Kushner had his security clearance restored after months of questions about whether he was in peril in the investigation by the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III, into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia. Mr. Mueller’s investigators have not publicly cleared Mr. Kushner, and Mr. Kushner’s advisers issued misleading statements that indicated his clearance had been fully restored, when in fact he was still awaiting that status.

Yeah, Jared's a liar. Everyone in Trump's circle is a liar. Are you not going to set aside one sentence to point out that this might not be such a good thing? Also, pro tip: A much more concise way of saying "misleading statements" is "LIES."

“I think they felt in some ways when things escalated that they thought it was best to keep a lower profile and hone in on their specific policy areas,” said Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House press secretary.

Seriously? You're writing a feature for the New York Times, and a thought that occurs to you is "let's see what a professional liar has to say?"
I mean, the fact that she is going to sit there with a straight face and claim that Ivanka and Jared have "specific policy areas" on which they could "hone in" just. . . I mean why would you waste the ink to publish that inanity?

Ms. Trump’s announcement this past week that she would shut down her fashion brand, based in New York, seemed to symbolize a recommitment to her life and her husband’s in Washington. The woman who once said that she did not intend to stay in the capital long enough to become one of its “political creatures” — people she feels are “so principled that they get nothing done,” according to someone familiar with her thinking — said on Tuesday that she did not know “if I will ever return to the business.”

Oh, here's a simpler way of phrasing that: "Ms Trump realized that no one is buying here shitty clothing that someone else designs and slaps her name on, so she's coming back to the make-believe phony job that her daddy made up for her."

Also, are you really just going to slide right on by the part where she treats having principles as an impediment to getting anything done? Does that not bother you? Becausae to me, that sounds like something a sociopath would say.

“Any suggestion that they were going to leave the White House was just ridiculous,” said Steven Mnuchin, the Treasury secretary, who was one of several allies the couple asked to speak on their behalf for this article. “They both have been dependable, valuable and effective partners for me and other members of the president’s cabinet.”

Ahahahahaha!!! "Dependable!"

Ahahahahaha!!!! "Valuable!"

Ahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! "Effective!"


Oh, man! "“They both have been dependable, valuable and effective partners for me and other members of the president’s cabinet.”says the man who had his arm twisted into speaking on their behalf and desperately wants their father to not fire him!


Oh wow. This is exhausting. I'm going to have to finish this tomorrow.