Headlines that are NOT from the Onion, I swear.

Trump voters feel betrayed and want a leader to take USA back from the rich and powerful

Whaaaaat? The guy with the gold-plated toilet isn't the one to take the country back from the rich and powerful?
Whaaaaat????

I just got back from walking the picket lines in Michigan and Ohio. Several striking workers, all of them former Democrats, told me how they voted for Donald Trump in 2016 out of desperation. They believed Trump would deliver on his promise to keep jobs in America and negotiate good trade deals. Now, they feel betrayed.

Whaaaaat? The guy who has made a career out of stiffing everyone he does business with? That guy didn't keep his promises? Whaaaaaat????
And the guy who has run every business he's touched into bankruptcy didn't negotiate good trade deals?

Midwestern working-class voters are not alone. In fact, a Reuters/Ipsos national Election Day poll in 2016 found that 75% of voters were looking for a “strong leader to take the country back from the rich and powerful.” 

And the television star with the alleged billion-dollar business empire who hob-nobs with the Clintons and Bushes turned out to not be that guy? He didn't help regular folks take the country back from the rich and powerful?

This guy?

 


Really? This guy wasn't the champion of the common man you expected him to be? Whaaaaaat???



Entertainment

‘Shut Up About Politics’ Singer John Rich Shows Up on Fox News to Talk About Politics

So apparently, there's some "country" singer named John Rich. And I puit the word "country" in quotes because I swear to God, Mother Maybelle would turn over in her grave if she heard the shit that gets called "country" music these days. But anyway, apparently this little douchebag in a costume shop cowboy hat  wrote a song called "Shut Up About Politics" which has brilliantly crafted lyrics like


You punch left, I punch right
We're caught up in the middle of a deep swamp fight
Some people lie, some people steal
And everybody's talking 'bout the great new deal


So, you know, ball's in your court, Willie Nelson!

I don't know what the "great New Deal" is that he thinks everyone's talkin 'bout. Is he referring to the GREEN New Deal? Or is he stuck in the 1930's?

And the current state of "country music" being what it is, it actually charted.

John Rich & Fox News' The Five Hit Hot 100 With "Shut Up About Politics"

4:04 PM PDT 6/10/2019 by Jim Asker, Billboard , Gary Trust, Billboard

The track also tops Country Digital Song Sales.

But anyway, if you're sick of hearing people talk about politics, obviously the place to go is FOX "news!"

Sitting down Friday with The Daily Briefing host Dana Perino—a Five host featured on the song—Rich was immediately asked to weigh in on former Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton’s recent appearance on The Daily Show.

The singer, however, focused instead on how scary he found Clinton’s physical appearance.
“That actually freaked me out a little bit,” he declared. “I’m kind of envious of her because if you think about all the money she saves every Halloween, she doesn’t have to get a costume.”

You know, Hillary Clinton is a public figure. She's absolutely fair game to criticize. You want to make fun of her policy positions? Have at it. You want to criticize her foreign policy record? Be my guest. You want to mock her for her stance on any issue? Feel free. But you're going after her looks like you're a fucking twelve-year-old? Here's an idea. Maybe you oughta shut up about politics if that's what you're bringing to the table.

Business

How Trump came up with that '303,000' October jobs figure that baffled analysts

 Javier E. David Fri, Nov 1 1:05 PM EDT

Ooh, I know! I know!

He made it up?
He just made it up out of thin air? Like he does all the time?
Like every time he comes up with some number that is supposed to make him look good, he's just making it up? And it's based on nothing and it's a fool's errand to try and figure out the "origin" of the number because there isn't one? Is that it?

Than you, Ms Winfrey. Thank you.