Fun With Headlines

 

Politics

FOX News Videos

VideoMcCarthy: Trump must flip Pennsylvania, two other states to take back election

Uhhh. . . . . yeah. And the Atlanta Falcons just need to undo the fourth quarter in order to win the 2017 Superbowl!

The election is over, dude.

Politics

CBS News Videos

VideoElection law expert David Becker says Trump's recount strategy "likely to fail"

Gee, ya think?

You think his baseless accusations of fraud and threats of meritless lawsuits might fare better?

Politics

Yahoo News

Trump lost — so what happens to the GOP?

Nothing. 

Nothing will happen. There are no consequences for failure in politics. Donna Brazile ran the most incompetent campaign in history, losing to dimbulb failson George W Bush and they made her the chair of the DNC. Mitt Romney gets to be an elder statesman in the GOP. Newt Gingrich is on TV every Sunday and he doesn't even have to have a job, his wife got the all-time sinecure ambassadorship for no reason other than that she is married to the disgraced former Speaker whgo resigned under a cloud of scandal. So nothing will happen to the GOP. They will do to Biden what they did to Obama and in 2024 they will come back with someone who makes Trump look like a moderate and there's a 50% chance they'll win.

 

Politics

Reuters

Stacey Abrams says Democrats will pour resources into key Georgia Senate runoffs

Well, yeah. . . There are no other races. What the hell else would you do with any resources you still have available?

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  Technology

  Business Insider

  Disney unveiled an animatronic robot with the same gaze as humans built to create 'the illusion of life'

  Disney unveiled an animatronic robot with the same gaze as humans built to create 'the illusion of life'

  The robot can mimic human-like actions like tilting its head, blinking, saccade, and breathing to name a few functions.

Oh, yeah. That could fool anyone! That totally looks like a real live human face.

Fox News' Chris Wallace says there 'doesn't seem to be much reason to believe' Trump's election lawsuits will succeed

Yeah, they have the same chance as my suit against the girls who wouldn't date me in high school. But it never hurts to try!

QAnon-supporting Republican accuses a former Navy SEAL lawmaker of having a 'loser mindset'

Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia, a newly-elected congresswoman who faced scrutiny for espousing conspiracy theories, accused Rep. Dan Crenshaw of Texas, a former US Navy SEAL, of having a "loser mindset."

Well, he did go crying to NBC to make Pete Davidson apologize for mocking his eyepatch, so she may have a point.

Celebrity

USA TODAY Entertainment

What’s next for soon-to-be former first lady Melania Trump?

Um, divorce court.

Duh!