Caturday -- Cats Go Fishing

From ZooBorns:

Fishing Cats! As their name suggests, Fishing Cats are specialists at hunting critters in the water. They will even dive-in head first to catch their prey!

Watch them do some fishing!

Terrible Ad Campaigns - Miller Lite

Ok, first of all, this is a terrible product. Do you have any idea how many beverages a place would have to run out of before I would pay for a Miller Lite? Oh, the only beer you have left is Miller Lite, huh? Do you have any seawater? No? Any bile? How about spoiled milk? No? Okay, give me a Miller lite.

But that's not really the point. The point is the stupid "Vortex Bottle" ad:

If you're going to hang your hat on the bottle having grooves, you really ought to have some sort of explanation for how those grooves make your beer more palatable. You can't just say, "What's so special about the bottle with grooves? Why, it has grooves! Grooves, my friend, grooves!" as if we're just going to get how the grooves make your swill tolerable.

Because, seriously, there is no amount of grooves that are going to help this product. You can run this stuff through any conduit, any sluice, any Rube Goldberg contraption you want, and the taste ain't gonna change.

You could pour this carbonated mopwater through Scarlett Johansson's cleavage and it wouldn't become any less objectionable. How stupid is your target market that they're expected to fall for this? Hey, neato! The bottle has spirally grooves! That's sure to make the beer taste better somehow. Oh, modern bottle technology, is there any beverage you can't improve?

How Much Lower Can This Little Prick Possibly Go?

How is it that James O'Keefe is allowed to walk our streets freely without being subject to multiple crotch-punchings everywhere he lays down his slimy trail?
I mean, it's not like you'd do any time.

"Your honor, the defendant is charged with assault and battery.
"Oh? What did he do?"
"He punched James O'Keefe in the weiner."
"Hmm, James O'Keefe, James O'Keefe. . . oh, the cum-stain on Satan's tighty-whities? That James O'Keefe? Case Dismissed! I'm recommending you for a commendation, son!"

Okay, I don't know how the judge turned into the defendant's commanding officer, but you get the idea.

Fake pimp from ACORN videos tries to 'punk' CNN correspondent

Lusby, Maryland (CNN) -- A conservative activist known for making undercover videos plotted to embarrass a CNN correspondent by recording a meeting on hidden cameras aboard a floating "palace of pleasure" and making sexually suggestive comments, e-mails and a planning document show. [sic]

I don't know what a "Planning document show" is, but apparently he was making it.

James O'Keefe, best known for hitting the community organizing group ACORN with an undercover video sting,

Okay, stop. Stop it right there, CNN. That was not an undercover video "sting." That was a fraudulent, dishonest, libelous smear job. You'd think now that this little shit-smear has gone after one of your own reporters, you could drop the bullshit "objectivity" and call a spade a spade.

James O'Keefe, best known for hitting the community organizing group ACORN with an undercover video sting, hoped to get CNN Investigative Correspondent Abbie Boudreau onto a boat filled with sexually explicit props and then record the session, those documents show.

What was the point? Who knows? I guess if he could get a video clip of a reporter near some "sexually explicit props," he could run to FOX, show some deceptively-edited clips and claim that CNN can not be trusted because one of their reporters enjoys sex? Or something? I don't know what the point was, but I'm sure it was some sort of deceitful bullshit.

Apparently, a large part of the plan involved having James O'Keefe


Seduce CNN reporter Abbie Boudreau.

Once again, the foolproof plan involved having this guy:


Seduce this CNN reporter:

How could this possibly not work?

CNN has gotten ahold of a 13-page ridiculous plan for what O'Keefe calls his "CNN Caper"


.cnnFBRecBtn { width: 336px; float: right; margin: 10px 0pt; clear: both; }.cnnFBRecBtnBot { width: 420px; margin: 30px 0pt 15px 186px; }.cnn_strycntntlft { clear: both; }

'Punking' CNN

The following highlights the relevant portions of a 13-page document obtained by CNN outlining a plan to 'punk' CNN. Click through the pages to see more.

And it just goes on like that. You can see the whole thing here: CNN

And if you see James O'Keefe, go ahead and punch him right in the crotch. No jury would convict you.

An Open Letter to Football Announcers.

Dear Football Announcers,
We are aware of which sport we are watching. We saw in the TV Guide "NFL Football" or "College Football," so we tuned in to your broadcast fully expecting to see football. We get it. There is no need to work the word "football" into every goddamned sentence.

You really don't need to say "This football team is really going to have to run the football better if they're going to win this football game." We're not going to be confused. No one is going to be watching an NFL game asking, "Why don't they bunt? Oh, that's right, they're playing football! I totally got my sports mixed up!"

We're not stupid. You can just say "This team" or "Throw the ball" and we'll understand what you mean.

Thank you.

Depressing Headline of the Day

Obama Administration Seeks Greater Wiretap Authority

Following in the grand tradition of "Obama Caves on Public Option," "Administration Waffles on "DADT," and "Card Check? Who said Anything About Card Check?"

I'm just so fed up with these guys. Democrats in the Senate are so afraid of their own shadows that they can't even bring tax cuts to the floor. That's like being afraid to offer a kid ice cream because you're worried that he might prefer Brussels Sprouts. And the only reason they can offer us to vote for them is "hey, you know how much worse the other guys would be!" And goddammit, they're right. If the Boehners and McConnells take over, we'll get endless investigations, permanent tax cuts for millionaires, the re-invasion of Iraq and immunity for corporate polluters.
either way we get screwed. And it's so depressing to have to look at the political landscape and think, "well, I'm going to vote for the party that will at least give me a reach-around while I'm getting screwed."