Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Happy Secession Day!

Photo detail


Actually, it was yesterday, but why quibble? This is the time of year when all real Americans come together to celebrate the folks who went to war against the United States largely to preserve the institution of slavery!


Charleston, SC is the hub of secession celebrating activity. Oh, wait, did I say celebrating? No, of course they aren't really celebrating!
(from the Charleston Post & Courier)
The organizers of the South Carolina Secession Gala — the biggest event of the day — said they were merely remembering history, not celebrating the controversial aspects of the Civil War and the role of slavery in the conflict.

Right, because everyone knows that there is nothing celebratory about a gala! I still tear up a little when I remember my grandfather's funeral gala. Oh, the dancing, the music, the ball gowns. . . so somber.

Although, this account from the Guardian of London seems to indicate that maybe there might have been just a teensy bit of celebration:

More than 600,000 men lost their lives during four years of carnage. In South Carolina, almost a quarter of the men who fought died.
For the 300 or so who assembled for the "secession ball", the tone was one of pride and resilience rather than regret. The guests were exclusively white; the only black people present were security guards wearing uniforms in navy blue, the colour of the union army.
The evening began with a theatrical re-enactment of the signing that culminated in a rousing oration. Those southerners who died did so, the narrator said "not to preserve the institution of slavery, not for glory or riches or honour, but for freedom alone. The spirit of the south still stands!"
"Yeah!" "All right!" came shouts from the audience. Then the auditorium stood in unison to sing Dixie, the anthem of the south. "Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land."



Michael Givens, commander in chief of the Sons of Confederate Veterans, said the Secession Gala honored the bravery and resolve of people willing to defend their homes, The (Charleston) Post and Courier reported.
"These people are to be honored, whether you agree with their politics or not," Givens said. "We're very happy that there's no slavery today. If there's one thing we can celebrate, we can celebrate the demise of that dark part of our history -- that there is no slavery in America."

Yes, let's celebrate that. Let's celebrate the end of slavery in America, on this the anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation!  Oh, but wait! This isn't that anniversary! This is the anniversary of secession! The day that the people of the Confederate States decided to risk their lives, limbs and fortunes in order to KEEP slavery! I got a little mixed up there. If there's one thing we can celebrate, it's that there is no more slavery. If there are two things, I would think we could celebrate the end of slavery and, um, slavery!

. . . one spokesman called the secession movement in S.C. “a demonstration of freedom” and denied that secession had anything to do with slavery. 
          (CL)
Just like the World Series has nothing to do with baseball.
Of course, the Declarations of Secession would seem to disagree with that.

From South Carolina's:
. . . an increasing hostility on the part of the non-slaveholding States to the institution of slavery, has led to a disregard of their obligations
. . .the current of anti-slavery feeling has led her more recently to enact laws which render inoperative the remedies provided by her own law and by the laws of Congress. In the State of New York even the right of transit for a slave has been denied by her tribunals
. . . A geographical line has been drawn across the Union, and all the States north of that line have united in the election of a man to the high office of President of the United States, whose opinions and purposes are hostile to slavery. 
 From Georgia's:

For the last ten years we have had numerous and serious causes of complaint against our non-slave-holding confederate States with reference to the subject of African slavery.
 . . . We had acquired a large territory by successful war with Mexico; Congress had to govern it; how, in relation to slavery, was the question then demanding solution. This state of facts gave form and shape to the anti-slavery sentiment throughout the North and the conflict began. Northern anti-slavery men of all parties asserted the right to exclude slavery from the territory by Congressional legislation
 From Mississippi's:
Our position is thoroughly identified with the institution of slavery-- the greatest material interest of the world. . . and a blow at slavery is a blow at commerce and civilization. That blow has been long aimed at the institution, and was at the point of reaching its consummation. There was no choice left us but submission to the mandates of abolition, or a dissolution of the Union


 And of course, Texas:
In all the non-slave-holding States. . . the people have formed themselves into a great sectional party, now strong enough in numbers to control the affairs of each of those States, based upon an unnatural feeling of hostility to these Southern States and their beneficent and patriarchal system of African slavery, proclaiming the debasing doctrine of equality of all men, irrespective of race or color-- a doctrine at war with nature, in opposition to the experience of mankind, and in violation of the plainest revelations of Divine Law. They demand the abolition of negro slavery throughout the confederacy, the recognition of political equality between the white and negro races, and avow their determination to press on their crusade against us, so long as a negro slave remains in these States.
Because when there's a who can be the biggest ass contest, always bet on Texas! ( I know there are many wonderful Texans - Jim Hightower, The late great Molly Ivins, Blueberry, etc.)

Aaaaaanyway, the driving force behind the treason day parties seems to be the Sons of Confederate Veterans, who are just a swell bunch of guys. Really, just, what a fun group!



 
The citizen-soldiers who fought for the Confederacy personified the best qualities of America. The preservation of liberty and freedom was the motivating factor in the South's decision to fight the Second American Revolution. 
Liberty, freedom, slavery. . . hmmm. One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn't belong. Come on, you know the words, sing along!

Today, the Sons of Confederate Veterans is preserving the history and legacy of these heroes, so future generations can understand the motives that animated the Southern Cause.

If by "heroes" you mean "traitors" and by "understand the motives"  you mean "pretend that slavery had nothing to do with it," then yeah. 


If you are interested in perpetuating the ideals that motivated your Confederate ancestor,[racism] the SCV needs you. The memory and reputation of the Confederate soldier, as well as the motives for his suffering and sacrifice, are being consciously distorted by some [mainly us] in an attempt to alter history. 
 
Let's give one of these fine gentlemen the last word:


Mark Simpson, commander of the South Carolina branch of the Sons of Confederate Veterans, which sponsored the ball, said the line that the war was fought over slavery was spin, used by detractors of the south to discredit them. "Slavery was an issue, yes, but only because it was the economic lifeblood of the south."

Wow. Just, wow.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Scary Quote of the Day

"In Washington, the view is that the banks are to be regulated, and my view is that Washington and the regulators are there to serve the banks,"

What makes this quote scary rather than merely nutty? It's from the man who will soon be in charge of the House Banking committee. 

Alabama Republican Spencer Bachus.

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixhI4qg8sdt0s01xPdRH0W_jSPwO6Rf8StFoH83nNjI2usfeUqvEosZdbQ_W_2E9jo7j1SqXwBN4ZJeFZXbwgnPkGhzH_CkuHuQdEe8iSDc6B5aFtU97w6L6LSZUbh4-_2uXZNZN4NqEs/s400/09-02-10c_bachus.png



 Who, coincidentally, looks like Mr. Humphries from "Are You Being Served?"

http://www.hobo-bonobo.co.uk/topten/images/0810061651492.jpg

It's Okay To Say

Happy Chrimbus! 

It's Okay to say Happy Chrimbus to me.

Other phrases which are okay to say to me include:

Happy Holidays!

Season's Greetings!

Chappy Channukah!

Super Solstice!

Here, I got you a little something!

Have some cake!

Excuse me, aren't you George Clooney?

You magnificent bastard!

A very merry un-birthday to you!



The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!

It's late September and I really should be back at school.

This town ain't big enough for the two of us. Oh, wait. It's plenty big.

and

Happy Freakin New Year!

Friday, December 10, 2010

ON VACATION!

Should be back in about a week. Meanwhile, here are some baby cats.


http://tailsmagazines.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/kitten.jpg

http://uploads.neatorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/6a010535647bf3970b01053637009f970c-800wi.jpg

http://api.ning.com/files/eGsgJgf-tVUMGjrvpRvvpM2PXwN*pF2e5qwqeKQTlcEfz*BolO*xmCTdjDeRLTafyyOmczZorwsm7khcU2rKSuAxzGbaKRqd/Siberiantigercub.jpg

http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/staticfiles/NGS/Shared/StaticFiles/Photography/Images/POD/o/okavango-cheetah-baby-637766-sw.jpg

 http://www.amur-leopard.org/files/zoo%20images/page/zoo%20cub%20large.jpg

Thursday, December 9, 2010

So Apparently This Is A Real Thing That Exists

From Some Weirdo Company Called Boss Creations comes the CHRIST-mas Tree:

http://spaceghetto.org/images/newthechri.png

Because what better time than the holidays to angrily shove your political beliefs in everyone's face?
By the way, this tree-like object d'arte costs $399.99!

And they have lots of other super Christy Christmas-themed items for sale. Like this sign:


Wooden Sign w/ Holly 

Great. Good for your house! The people who live in the house may be doubters, but as long as the structure has faith. 


Or why not celebrate the birth of the Christ Child by reminding Him of the tortures he will one day endure at the hands of the Roman Empire?


Golden Crown of Thorns Tree Topper (made from an actual plant in the Holy Land)

Golden Crown of Thorns Tree Topper 

(made from an actual plant in the Holy Land)

Sure, you could top your tree with a star or an angel, but why not an instrument of torment? 'Tis the season to be jolly!

And for some reason, the Boss Creations website contains a link to this video by one of my favorite comics Jim Gaffigan




No, really! They have a list of links and it includes the Jim Gaffigan bit about holidays: Look!

Video Gallery

Welcome to our video gallery. Our goal is to share related material about bringing Christ back into the center of our celebrations, lives and into America. We hope that each of you Christians and patriots enjoy!

Songs, Videos & Articles

 I don't get it either. Most of them seem to be links to things in the spirit of  "Fuck you, heathen, this is our goddamm holiday! Say it! Say Christmas! Say it!!!!!" which is what the holiday season is really all about.

Also, there is a link to possibly the worst song ever written:  We the People Song
Check it out, it's enjoyable in a  train-wreck sort of way. It's kind of the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of nonsensical patriotic music.

Oh, wait. This one is even worse: It's called Christmas with a Captial "C"  This one gets the 1990's boy-band treatment. And here's an odd little twist. If you click on the Christmas with a Capital C link, you see the video on YouTube. On the right side of the screen are YouTube's suggestions for other videos you might like if you like that one. The list includes:
  

  
So make of that what you will.