Terrible marketing --DirecTV

First of all, shame on you, DirecTV, for aiding and abetting Dat Phan's career.

But, seriously, how the hell did this ad get made?



What was the pitch meeting for this like?

Hmm, gotta think of something funny. . . .
. . .Hey, you know what's funny? Asian dudes!

Asian dudes?

Yeah, you know how they're always talking in those funny accents? It's hilarious!

Oh, yeah, everyone likes accents! And let's have him act like a big shot, even though he's a tiny Asian guy. That'll be hysterical!

Oh, and you know how in commercials, you can tell a guy is rich because there are bikini-clad models following him around like pet labradors?

Oh, yeah, we should totally do that!

But get this, we'll show that he's super-rich because he can afford white chicks!

Even though he's a small Asian man? Brilliant! I'm laughing already!

Oh, and let's throw in an enormous panda just in case anyone forgets that this guy is Asian.

Why not just have him say his lines in broken pidgin-English?

Hey, who says we can't do both?

Saturd80's - The Egyptian Lover

Does anyone else remember the Egyptian Lover? Maybe it was a Southern California thing, but we loved this guy in 1984-5.

Rep. Steve King Continues to Stake his Claim to the Title "Most Absurd Member of Congress."

 

High five! Anyone? No?

Steve King: Covering Birth Control Will Make Us ‘A Dying Civilization’

Rep. Steve King (R-IA) thinks it's "Orwellian" that the federal government would require health insurance providers to cover birth control, and that if left unchecked the policy could allow the U.S. to become "a dying civilization."

The pill killed the dinosaurs. Look it up!

Wow! How exactly does he come to this conclusion?

King particularly took offense to the "preventative" part of the language: "And they've called it preventative medicine. Preventative medicine. Well if you applied that preventative medicine universally what you end up with is, you've prevented a generation. Preventing babies from being born is not medicine."

Right, because making birth control available is basically going to force everyone to use it every time! If contraception is available, there will be no babies ever, because no one actually wants babies. Every baby born anywhere in the world is attributable to the high cost of Norplant. (Do they still make Norplant?)

 

I mean, look at this thing. Who would want one of those?

"That's not constructive to our culture and our civilization," King said. "If we let our birth rate get down below the replacement rate we're a dying civilization."



He later added: "Now none of us would have health to care about if they prevented us, would they Mr. Speaker? That is just it is bizarre, it's Orwellian."

Um, I gotta think that's a bit more Lewis Carroll than George Orwell.

King objected to this policy on the House floor on Monday night, saying that it is simply government overreach and part of Obama's plan for socialized medicine: "We have people that are single, we have people that are past reproductive age, we have priests that are celibate. All of them, paying insurance premiums that cover contraceptives so that somebody else doesn't have to pay the full fare of that?"

Wow! That's a whole lot of ridiculous for one quote.  Let's take this one point at a time.

A) Suuuuure, single people don't use birth control.

 

Honest, mom!

B) Really, there aren't enough celibate priests.

C) It's still private insurance companies covering birth control, so how is that "socialized medicine?"

D) By your logic, women shouldn't have to pay for prostate exams, vegetarians shouldn't have to pay for angioplasties, and those of us who have chosen not to reproduce shouldn't have to cover obstetrics or pediatrics.

 

Not on my dime, bitch!

Seriously, I don't know which is more ridiculous, the idea that making birth control more available will wipe out the species, or the idea that my insurance should only cover the things that I personally am going to use. Or, even if you are Steve King, you might someday find a woman willing to have sex with you, would you not want her to have access to birth control? Because a little mini Steve King? That would be a crime against nature.



You've Been Warned.

This was just Round One. This shit is going to keep happening over and over as long as Republicans have a majority in either house, or a large enough minority to filibuster in the Senate.

That's not me saying that. It's Mitch McConnell:

MCCONNELL: It set the template for the future. In the future, Neil, no president — in the near future, maybe in the distant future — is going to be able to get the debt ceiling increased without a re-ignition of the same discussion of how do we cut spending and get America headed in the right direction. I expect the next president, whoever that is, is going to be asking us to raise the debt ceiling again in 2013, so we’ll be doing it all over.

And when they talk about cutting, they mean, of course, cutting programs that spend money to help people, not programs that spend money on blowing shit up and killing people!

LIEBERMAN: I want to indicate today to my colleagues that Senator Coburn and I are working again on a bipartisan proposal to secure Social Security over the long term, we hope to have that done in time. To also forward to the special committee for their consideration. So, bottom line, we can’t protect these entitlements and also have the national defense we need to protect us in a dangerous world while we’re at war with Islamist extremists who attacked us on 9/11 and will be for a long time to come.

There must always be money for war. There must always be money for military buildups. Forget that the United States has the most powerful military in the history of mankind. Forget that our enemies have boxcutters and exploding underpants, we must keep funneling taxpayer money into the coffers of Blackwater, Custer Battles, Wackenhut and Halliburton until Joe Lieberman can sleep without wetting himself. And if that means grandma and grandpa don't get their medicine, well it's worth it to make little Joe feel a teensy bit less scared. 

They will never be satisfied. On the day after the debt limit deal was reached, I heard notable douchebag David Dreier (R-CA) on Morning Edition calling the deal a good first step and adding that now they needed to start working on lowering marginal tax rates. They don't stop to catch their breath. As soon as they force one concession, they immediately demand the next one. They do not stop. Ever.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Congressman David Dreier (R-San Dimas, CA) today praised the launch of the House Republican Plan for America's Job Creators. . . . the plan would require congressional review and approval of any government regulations that have a significant impact on the economy or burden small businesses; audit existing and pending regulations to identify and address those that hinder economic growth; streamline the tax code and lower the tax rate for businesses and individuals including small business owners to no more than 25%

 The right wing will never let up until the US is a third-world country, with a very few super-rich and and the rest of us living in poverty. They're like the Terminator.

It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. 

It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear.

And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

You've been warned.

The importance of not giving a fuck

Obama signs debt deal

 President Barack Obama has signed the debt compromise deal, staving off the potentially calamitous economic effects of a U.S. debt default.

Let me see if I have this "deal" straight.

 The teabaggers get huge spending cuts, no tax increases and no loopholes closed. And in return, the democrats got. . . . um, the economy not being blown up? That's pretty much what it seems like, for all the concessions they gave up, what they got in return was that the economy will not be purposely destroyed.

It's like a couple arguing in the car, and the husband says "tell you what, you let me have my way on this one, and I won't steer into oncoming traffic." It's ridiculous. Why were the Republicans allowed to get away with pretending that a government default was not going to hurt them as much as anyone else?

I've been trying to figure out why Republicans are so much better at these "negotiations" than Democrats, and I think I have it figured out. They don't give a fuck. And not giving a fuck is a damn strong bargaining position.

Imagine you and your spouse are negotiating about the household chores. Neither one of you wants to clean the bathroom, you both would rather do whatever the easiest thing is. You are in a much stronger position if you can say "Hey, it's your family coming over, I don't give a fuck if the house gets clean or not." (do not try this at home)

That's the Republican bargaining strategy. they don't give a fuck. If they don't get what they want, hey maybe the economy blows up, maybe it doesn't, either way, they don't give a fuck. They want what they want when they want it, and if they don't get it,  they don't give a fuck about what happens to the country. Either they're going to be happy or no one will be happy.

 

That tax cut wasn't big enough! Now this is happening!