Bad Headline

Ellen sparks controversy for J.C. Penney

No. No, that is incorrect. Ellen does not spark controversy. Ellen hasn't done anything wrong. It is the "Million Homophobic Moms" who are sparking the controversy, if controversy is, in fact, being sparked, by being hateful little bigots. Ellen is just doing her job, minding her own business. Why blame her for "sparking controversy?"

After J.C. Penney announced Ellen DeGeneres as the department store's new spokesperson last week, a conservative  online organization launched a campaign to have her fired. Why? Because she's openly gay. 

The One Million Moms organization, an extension of the American Family Association, called on members to urge the company to rethink their decision. "Funny that J.C. Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families," reads the call to action on the group's website. "The majority of J.C. Penney shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there."  

Um, couple of things. One, most "traditional families" don't have a problem with Ellen DeGeneres, realizing as they do that whomever Ellen finds attractive affects them and their families not at all, and Two: is there anyone shopping at J.C. Penney? Is it possible for people to choose to no longer shop at a store where they already do not shop?

Here's a little snippet from the "Million Judgmental Shrews" call to action:

As consumers, what we find tragic is a corporate office and customer service department that not only transfers customers to voicemail, but even hangs up on them rather than verses hearing their concerns.

So, obviously the Million Small-minded Bigoted Moms have a different definition of the word "tragic" than you or I or any normal person. Also, a different definition of the word "verses" which most of us understand to be the plural of "verse," as opposed to the word "Versus" which, I suppose, is the word they meant to use. Also, you really need only use the word "versus" or the phrase "rather than," not both.

It is absurd to think that a company would find treating customers in this fashion an acceptable behavior. Our members stated their concerns in a kind, professional manner.

Oh, really?  How does one kindly and professionally relate the sentiment "we don't like her kind 'round here?" What does the kind professional version of anti-gay bigotry sound like?

Degeneres is not a true representation of the type of families who shop at the retailer.

True, she has a sense of style and can afford high-quality clothing.

Unless JC Penney decides to be neutral in the culture war and listen to customers in a considerate fashion, their brand transformation will be unsuccessful.

JC Penney IS being neutral in the "culture war." This is what being neutral looks like. They made a business decision to hire a popular TV personality to represent them in their ads. They did not make this business decision based on any sort of "Culture war." If they cave in to your pressure, they would no longer be neutral, they would be siding with you.  I don't think you understand the concept of neutrality. Honestly, the only people fighting this "war" is you geniuses. And you're losing.

Stop the Presses!

This breaking news just in:

Punxsutawney Phil Isn't Always Right

By Alyssa Newcomb | ABC News Blogs – 11 hours ago

Wow, way to go, ABC! Way to nail down that scoop! The behavior of a random rodent is not really all that predictive of the future? Well blow me down!

An analysis by the National Climatic Data Center found there is no correlation between Phil's predictions and the actual weather.

The National Climatic Data Center? Please tell me that isn't a government agency. . . ah, crap! They have a .gov web address! Seems like the National Climatic Data Center ought to have bigger fish to fry than determining whether some ridiculous bit of nonsensical folklore involving a rodent might somehow have some shred of veracity in it. (hint: no, it does not)

The well-fed, revered groundhog also has a penchant for seeing his shadow. Ever since the tradition began in 1887, Phil (and his ancestors) saw their shadows 99 times, while predicting an early spring only 16 times. There was no record for nine of the years.

Of course he always sees his shadow! He's not blind. Assuming that it is actually possible to somehow determine what the little guy is actually seeing or not seeing,  wouldn't you just assume that he would see his shadow? And the 16 times he supposedly didn't see it, wouldn't that just be an indication that it's time to break in a new groundhog, because this one's losing his eyesight?

But thank God we have a free press in this country so we can read hard-hitting investigative stories like this. ABC News, give this lady a raise!

Way to go, Fundie Assholes!

Apparently, anti-abortion fanatics have managed to bully the Susan G. Komen Foundation into stopping funding breast cancer prevention at Planned Parenthood because sometimes women go there to terminate unwanted pregnancies.

NEW YORK – Planned Parenthood Federation of America today expressed deep disappointment in response to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation’s decision to stop funding breast cancer prevention, screenings and education at Planned Parenthood health centers.

 Good job, fundies! Way to go. Now some women are going to die of breast cancer because the place that does the screenings offends your religious beliefs. way to sacrifice the lives of grown women to preserve embryos!
You know, if you don't want money going to fund abortions, I get that. It's really not your business if someone else wants to donate their money, but I get that you want to protect this:

 

But do you really hate grown women so much that you're willing to let them get breast cancer just to spite the place that does the abortions? Stopping PP from performing mammograms is not going to save a single embryo, you know. Just maybe kill a few women. Out of spite. Great job, you fundamentalist assholes.

Planned Parenthood has started raising money to try and replace the money they previously got from the Komen Foundation. You can go HERE to donate.

How to tell when you've hit rock-bottom of patheticness. . .

. . .When you get pwned by Miss Piggy

Star Wars is Totally Gay!

Tony Perkins has a warning for you.


Surprise, surprise, it's a warning about something that will turn your kids gay!

 

Tony Knows Gay!

So what is it this time?

Star Wars!

 

Totally gay!

Specifically, some new online Star wars video game. I'll let him explain.

(via Raw Story)

“In a new Star Wars game, the biggest threat to the empire may be homosexual activists!” Perkins announced during his daily radio commentary. “In a galaxy not so far far away, Star Wars gamers have already gone to the dark side.

 

First, do we even have to point out that the Empire is evil? That the good guys in the Star Wars movies are fighting the evil Empire? So anything which is a threat to the Empire is  a good thing?

 

I find your lack of a girlfriend disturbing!

So what is it about the new Star Wars game? Light sabres replaced by giant laser-penises? Star Wars theme replaced by show tunes? Do you have to score points by gay-sexing George Lucas? 

 

oh please, oh please oh please!

Oh, no. Nothing that innocuous. They have something much more insidious up their sleeves!

The new video game, Star Wars: The Old Republic, has added a special feature: gay relationships.”

And all the players will be forced into these gay relationships? Well, that does sound kinda wrong, if . . .I'm sorry I'm being told that no one will be forced into anything. Apparently, in these huge multi-player online games it is possible to have virtual relationships with other players, and the new Star wars game may have it possible for two players of the same gender to form one of these fake relationships if that's what they're into. That's it. 

 

Dude, I have so many on-line girlfriends.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game!

He continued: “On the game’s website, there are more than 300 pages of comments–a lot of them expressing anger that their kids will be exposed to this Star Warped way of thinking. 

Oh, I see what you did there! Star Warped! What a clever man you must be!

You can join them by logging on and speaking up. It’s time to show companies who the Force is really with!”

 

  

Heh, heh, I mean Jesus! Show them who Jesus is with! 

Of course, this is a bogus claim also, as Raw Story points out:

A quick search of Bioware’s forum shows that there are probably not “300 pages of comments” on the topic — and very few if any of the commenters were “angry” about the idea. In fact, most players were more concerned that the featured had not already been released

 

Although, to be fair, it's kind of hard to make heads or tails of comments like:

I do realize how my shooting through the ranks Jedi Sentinel would miss out on Kira regardless. I also kind of want to see Mako, if she's really a good male option (she's young-acting enough that I wonder if it can be done well), become a s/s option for everyone, but understand what that means for my friend who's a Smuggler right now.

 

 

 

 Although, some comments are written in Earth language and they tend to be along these lines:

 

Of course we want same sex romances and having romance option with Khem Val on SI.

 

I would also like to see more variability in the romance options. I mean, this isn't 1952 anymore. If it chaps someone who cares?  

If you don't want the same sex content, don't choose those chat options. It's quite simple and pretty damn selfish for people to say it shouldn't be included.

 

I gave the forum the quick once-over and I didn't see any commenters who seemed to be at all angry about the new same-sex option.

So, I guess my main question for Tony Perkins is what exactly is the threat here? Are you worried that gamers are going to discover that gayness is a thing that exists and then, what, want to try it out? And then they'll turn gay and it will all be Star Wars' fault? And then when they're all gay, they won't want to send their hard-earned money in to the Family Research Coun. . .that's it isn't it? That's the only thing that makes sense. Because it can't honestly make any difference to you whether computer game players like boobies or not, can it? That couldn't possibly affect you. But if people maybe don't want to send money in to anti-gay hate groups, well that could be a problem for someone like you. 

Well I say put gay features in all video games! Seriously, if you could turn on-line role-playing gamers gay, at least they'd have a chance to have sex sometime in their lives. 'Cause God knows they aren't getting girlfriends!