Sad, Pathetic Man Not "Very Vocal"

This headline is actually not from the Onion:

Gay RNC member says he voted against GOP marriage resolution: ‘It just wasn’t very vocal’

Why would there be such a thing as a gay RNC member?
I get the concept of a gay conservative. There's no reason why a gay guy might not be in favor of lower taxes, weaker federal government, endless wars, etc. But a gay Republican? That doesn't make sense. One of the main planks of the Republican party is their fear and loathing of gay folks. Why would a gay guy join a party that makes no bones about its contempt for him?
 
LOS ANGELES—When the National Republican Party took a voice vote to approve a resolution reasserting the party's opposition to same sex marriage, Robert Kabel, a gay committeeman from the District of Columbia who supports allowing same sex nuptials, didn't speak up. At least not loud enough for anyone to hear him

 Yeah, I'll bet! You would probably been forcibly removed from the premises!

Immediately after the vote at RNC's quarterly meeting here Friday, Chairman Reince Priebus declared that all 157 members present had supported the measure.

But despite the tally, which officially recorded the vote as unanimous, Kabel insists he dissented.

"I voted against the resolution. I did, it just wasn't very vocal," Kabel said after the meeting. "It's hard to hear in here."

 

 

 

All in favor of continuing to deny gay people equal rights?

 

 

AYYYYYE!!!

 

 

 

All Opposed?

 

 

 Nay

 

 

 

 

It's unanimous!

 

 

I was saying "nay."

 

 

 

People who know how Brad Paisley Feels

What you wear can so easily be misinterpreted. Like some folks might think that Brad Paisley was some sort of racist for sporting the Stars & Bars. But it's not just him. Ask these people:




 

Why would you assume I'm a Christian? I'm just fascinated by ancient forms of capital punishment!




 
Muslim? No, I'm an astronomy buff!






I'm a big fan of designer Donna Karan.





Who are you calling a Communist? Since when is it a crime to love hand tools?

 

I've never been to California. I just love the films of Samuel Fuller.




No, it's just. . . okay, you got us.














That's actually a picture of the Windsor Swastikas, a women's hockey team who used the ancient symbol decades before the Nazis adopted it. They were totally NOT Nazis.

Meanwhile, in France. . .

Braless is Best? Study Says Bras Make Breasts Saggier


Researchers spent 15 years studying the breasts of over 330 French women. . .






Yes, "researchers!"

Bible-Thumper doesn't understand Bible

Rep Joe Barton (R - etarded)


Congressman Says Bible Proves Climate Change Isn't Man-Made

Forget for a moment that the Bible doesn't prove anything, that in fact it demands to be taken on blind faith, just look at this flawless logic:

"I would point out that if you're a believer in in the Bible, one would have to say the Great Flood is an example of climate change and that certainly wasn't because mankind had overdeveloped hydrocarbon energy." 


Wow!
Just stunning!

See, if you believe in the Bible's flood story, you would believe that this was absolutely NOT an example of climate change. Rather, it is an example of what happens when God gets mad at people. When Old Testament God gets upset, folks are gonna die!

See, in the Biblical flood story, God decides that people have become so obnoxious that the entire population of the earth needs to be drowned to death, including all the animals, but I guess fish were probably cool. And dolphins. But anyway, for whatever reason, God decides to kill 'em all and let himself sort them out, but he keeps one human family and a couple of each animal alive on a whopping great boat because do you know how long it would take to re-create all those species? Like six days!

Anyway, the flood occurs not because of global warming, melting ice caps, rising sea levels, etc. No, it occurs because God purposely makes it rain 40 straight days and nights and sends all the underground springs to the surface to intentionally flood the entire planet. This is literally what the insurance companies call an "act of God," and if any of them had survived they would have denied all claims because of it.


So, what does any of this have to do with our actual, real-world present day climate situation? I don't know. But Barton also had this to say:

Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) said you can have "an honest difference of opinion" of what's causing climate change without "automatically being either all in that's all because of mankind or it's all just natural," BuzzFeed reports.

Sure, reasonable people can disagree as to whether to base their "opinion" about global warming on the work of countless actual scientists, or on a weird misunderstanding of a 5,000-year-old folk tale. Just like we can disagree on whether or not thunder is caused by the hammer of mighty Thor!

 

Okay, I guess that answers that!

So, What is this "accidental racist" thing?

I've been seeing references to something called "accidental racist"  on the Twitter the last couple days. I didn't know what it referred to. To the Google!

 

um, okay. . . still not sure. . .

So apparently, this is the name of a song by a Mr. Brad Paisley and LL Cool J. Wait, that can't be right.

Paisley, LL Cool J Stand by ‘Accidental Racist’

By ABC News

Apr 10, 2013 8:41am

 



Oh. Okay, that is a real thing I guess.

And apparently, their record label is so embarrassed by this song that they have scrubbed it from YouTube.

The lyrics are available on-line, however.

To the man that waited on me at the Starbucks down on Main, I hope you understand
When I put on that t-shirt, the only thing I meant to say is I'm a Skynyrd fan
The red flag on my chest somehow is like the elephant in the corner of the south
And I just walked him right in the room
Just a proud rebel son with an 'ol can of worms
Lookin' like I got a lot to learn but from my point of view



So, if I'm understanding this correctly, he's saying that he's wearing a Confederate flag t-shirt as a way to show his support for shitty Seventies rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd? Because obviously, there's no way to show your Skynyrd fan cred without rockin' the symbol of racist oppression, right?

 

 

 

 

 

I'm just a white man comin' to you from the southland
Tryin' to understand what it's like not to be
I'm proud of where I'm from but not everything we've done
And it ain't like you and me can re-write history

 

Okay, if you're not proud of everything you've done, wouldn't one of those things of which you aren't proud be going to war with the United States in order to keep being able to enslave other human beings? Because that is what that flag stands for. That flag wasn't around in the Antebellum South. That is the battle flag of one of the secessionist armies that existed for the sole purpose of warring with the United States in order to preserve the "peculiar institution."

 

So, yeah, you know, I know not everything we've done down here has been perfect. We've made mistakes. Oh, not the Civil War, no that was awesome! And slavery? Well, we're all real proud of that!

 

I try to put myself in your shoes and that's a good place to begin
But it ain't like I can walk a mile in someone else's skin

And, since I can't possibly understand what it's like to be you, and I can't begin to comprehend how offensive this flag is to someone like you, let me just go ahead and explain how it's not offensive at all, and how hard it is to be a cracker these days.

 

 

Our generation didn't start this nation
And we're still paying for the mistakes
That a bunch of folks made long before we came
And caught between southern pride and southern blame
See? We're still being blamed for the mistakes made by those folks whose flag we proudly display. Totally not fair. It's like if some German guy is rocking a swastika just to show pride in his German heritage, not that he's proud of the holocaust per se, would you just assume that he supported the Nazis? Hmm?

 

 



Hmm, I wonder if there is any way that Mr. Cool J could chime in and make this even worse?


If you don't judge my do-rag
I won't judge your red flag
If you don't judge my gold chains
I'll forget the iron chains
Can't re-write history baby


So, if I agree not to judge your do-rag and gold chains, then we're cool about the whole slavery thing?
Holy shit, I had  no idea it was that easy! Deal!

And the climactic verse, with Mr. Cool J's lines in parentheses:

Oh, Dixieland
(The relationship between the Mason-Dixon needs some fixin')
I hope you understand what this is all about
(Quite frankly I'm a black Yankee but I've been thinkin' about this lately)
I'm a son of the new south
(The past is the past, you feel me)
And I just want to make things right
(Let bygones be bygones)
Where all that's left is southern pride
(RIP Robert E. Lee but I've gotta thank Abraham Lincoln for freeing me, know what I mean)
It's real, it's real
It's truth


RIP Robert E. Lee?
Seriously?
Let bygones be bygones?
And all that's left is Southern Pride?

Look, there are many things for which the South is justifiably proud. Martin Luther King, Hank Williams, James Brown, Jimmy Carter, bluegrass. . . but the stars and bars don't symbolize any of that. They symbolize treason. Treason committed mainly for the purpose of preserving slavery. There's a reason the Confederate flag is flown at Klan rallies and skinhead gatherings.




No matter what you tell yourselves about the flag representing pride in your birth state, or how glad you are to be a country boy or whatever, the Stars & Bars stands for racism. You can whitesplain it all you want, that's real, it's real, it's truth.