People who scare the Hell out of Me

The next generation of the Religious Right.



If you think this generation is nuts, wait until you see the kids they've been homeschooling.

 

She doesn't even know why she's crying!

 

It's not just that they are being brought up in a bubble, I was brought up in that bubble. I went to Church-run schools from 1st through 12th grade. We were taught that "the world" was not to be trusted, that the Devil was lurking everywhere, looking to tempt us into damnation. We were taught to expect persecution when we "went out into the world." But at least we had tv. No one was putting out straight-to-video veggie Tales and Kirk Cameron movies to further insulate us. And there weren't 20 different cable channels featuring nothing but conservative preachers. (There was Billy Graham, but he was considered a sort of heretic in our church.) (Seriously.)  And we could get books from a public library. I don't think a lot of these kids get any exposure to real life. Hell, they even have their own haunted houses at Halloween time, lest their fantasy life get polluted by witchcraft and the occult!

 

 

 

Besides, nothing could be scarier than an abortion doctor!

 

 

But it's not just that the bubble has become even more all-enveloping. It's the increased use of military imagery that really makes these kids scary.

 

 

 

 



 

 

I don't understand the "prayer warrior" thing, either. To me, a warrior is one who fights battles, not one who gets on his knees and asks someone else to fight them for him. But anyway. . .

 

 

Remember "Jesus Camp?" There's a couple of scenes in there that are disturbing. One is a skit the kids do dressed in camo fatigues and talking about "defeating the enemy."

 

 

 Correction: Only the BOYS wear camo fatigues. Girls wear, what, Danskins?

 

 

 The other is when the lady who runs the camp bemoans the fact that little Christian children aren't being raised with the same fervor that leads Palestinian children to grow up and become suicide bombers.

 

 Here's an example of the sort of creepy, militaristic stuff coming from the Dominionist right these days. From wacky self-proclaimed prophet Cindy Jacobs:

Lay Siege to a City

By Cindy Jacobs

 

The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.

 (Psalm 24:1)

. . . Frankly, as we examine the cities in which we live, many would have to say, “Truthfully, there is a lot about my city that is not godly.” . . . What has happened to God’s world? The Bible also states that Satan has declared himself the “god of this world.” Satan has effectively built strongholds around our cities and the people groups of the world. He is holding captive billions of souls who will spend an eternity in hell if we do not learn how to storm the gates of hell on their behalf

Okay, it's one thing to lay siege to a city, but if you're planning on invading Hell, you're on your own! Atlanta is hot enough, thank you very much!

The army of God is on the move and ready for battle strategy. A new breed of watchman is emerging across the nations. This breed is ready to lay siege to their cities.

See, this is exactly the kind of talk that usually ends with someone denying that she ever meant for anyone to kill that doctor, not that he didn't have it coming.

Jacobs, by the way, has a 4-step foolproof plan for laying siege to your hometown!

1. Make a map.

God desires to reveal strongholds to His intercessors concerning their area. Ezekiel was told to make a map (4:1). This concept, called “spiritual mapping,” has been largely uncovered by recent pioneers in spiritual warfare such as George Otis, Jr.

Yes, "Spiritual mapping." Also known as cartography. Also known as wasting a lot of time since you can buy a fucking map at any gas station or bring one up on your phone in like 2 seconds, but sure, of course God prefers your crude, hand-drawn "map" of your city. Also, the passage she references, God tells Ezekiel to literally draw a map. Not a "spiritual map," an actual, physical map, drawn on a tile. And this is an actual siege that Ezekiel is prepping for, not some stupid "spiritual siege."

Thou also, son of man, take thee a tile, and lay it before thee, and portray upon it the city, even Jerusalem: And lay siege against it, and build a fort against it, and cast a mount against it; set the camp also against it, and set battering rams against it round about.

Battering rams. Building forts. This sounds like real warfare, this has nothing to do with whatever Cindy Jacobs is talking about.

 And reading further, what result does God predict will follow Ezekiel's siege?

Ezekiel Chapter 5:

10Therefore, fathers will eat their sons among you, and sons will eat their fathers; for I will execute judgments on you and scatter all your remnant to every wind. . .

12'One third of you will die by plague or be consumed by famine among you, one third will fall by the sword around you, and one third I will scatter to every wind, and I will unsheathe a sword behind them. 13'Thus My anger will be spent and I will satisfy My wrath on them, and I will be appeased;

And this is what she wants us to emulate? Holy fuck!

What's step 2?
2. Set an intercessory strategy.
The spiritual mapping of a city can be used to develop a strategic plan to tear down the strongholds of the enemy. Ezekiel was instructed in verse 2 to “lay siege walls” against the city. These were movable watchtowers which were placed near the walls or strongholds of the enemy to spy out, research, and weaken the besieged stronghold. “Watchmen” were placed in these towers to give information for strategy. These watchmen harassed the enemy from a high place that was purposely built for war. The Lord has placed his watchmen throughout the world whom He has anointed to spy out, research, and harass the enemy through intercession.

Whatever that means. Nothing good, I'm sure. Harassing people from a watchtower, isn't that what the Jehovah's witnesses do?

3. Implement the strategy.
God told Ezekiel to build a ramp or earthen mound against the walls. He was also told to build camps and lay battering rams against it (4:2). Today this is accomplished through unity in prayer with pastors and leaders, prayer in local churches and the formation of “camps” of prayer groups for the city. These groups pray the prayers that are the “battering rams” against the gates of hell in the city.

Wait. The gates of Hell are here in the city? Couldn't we just padlock them? Problem solved!

Found One! Hand me a padlock!

4. Build a wall of protection.
Ezekiel was instructed to take an iron pan and place it as a wall (4:3). This wall offered protection against the fiery darts of the enemy from the besieged stronghold. We can build a wall by claiming the protection of God in our lives (Psalm 91). To withstand Satan’s counterattack, we need to keep these walls in a state of repair through personal holiness and right relationships to God and man.

A pan. I'm to hide behind a pan. Really? A pan? That's going to protect me from Satan himself? A pan?

 

 

 

Well, if it's good enough for Brandon, Iowa. . .

 

 

Anyway, I seem to have digressed a bit. Point is, the next generation of the Religious Right is going to be Hell!

 



Pop Culture Blasphemy III - Iconic TV shows

Again I'm not saying these shows aren't good, just not as good as everyone seems to think.

1. 30 Rock



I thought this show was going to be good. I always liked Tracy Morgan and Alec Baldwin. I never thought Tina Fey was funny on Weekend Update, but I read that she had written some great bits (old French Whore, for example) and Rachel Dratch was supposed to be playing the part that ended up going to Jane Krakowski. When NBC screwed Rachel Dratch out of the cast, I should have known there were going to be problems. The first season wasn't bad, I thought it had potential. I thought they would figure out how to use Tracy Morgan and that Kenneth the Page would be phased out, but I was wrong on both counts. But by then, 30 Rock had somehow been designated as the show that smart people like, so it dragged on and on getting less and less funny until it finally petered out. Why have a talented comic like Tracy Morgan play a guy who basically just shouts idiotic things that don't make sense (get it? He's supposed to be crazy! Isn't that hilarious?) And why have the absolute most annoying character in the history of television, Kenneth the page? Lazy stereotyping of rural southerners? What a fresh comedic idea!  And when they did stumble on to a funny character, Tracy's wife played by Shari Sheppard, they didn't stick with it. Tracy was gone for a couple of episodes, she was funny, just make the switch!

2. The Sopranos



When this show first came out I thought it sounded like a great idea. A mob boss who sees a shrink. Wow, that's something I haven't seen before, a Mafioso who feels conflicted about his criminal career, who feels bad about the people he's hurt but of course there's no getting out because it's the mafia. But when we finally started watching the DVD's, I was so disappointed. Tony isn't conflicted at all. And over the course of how ever many seasons his character doesn't develop at all. He's a violent narcissistic thug in episode one and a violent narcissistic thug in episode however many there were. There's no one to root for in this show. I have no problem with the idea of the "anti-hero," I love Breaking Bad, but at least Walter White shows character development. he starts off as a basically decent guy trying to do something for his family, then gets a taste of money and power and becomes completely corrupted. Tony Soprano starts corrupt and ends corrupt. But James Gandolfini is so goddamm likeable that he's able to carry the show on his back. I'm not saying The Sopranos was a bad show, I enjoyed it, but I don't understand why it's on everyone's list of greatest shows ever.

3. Dexter


Okay, first of all, there are damn few cases where blood-spatter analysis is required. Yet Dexter is employed full-time doing nothing but blood-spatter analysis for one local police precinct. I know Miami has a lot of crime, but come on!
Second, the writers could never make up their minds whether Dexter was a sociopath or not. If you're going to make him a sociopath, then you can't have him forming an emotional bond with Juli Benz, and trying to split the difference by having him say things like "if I were capable of feeling love, I think that's what I would be feeling now" just doesn't cut it.
And if the "code" he lives by is only intended to keep him out of prison, why does he follow it so religiously? When Jimmy Smits wanted to kill that lawyer, he refuses because she hasn't actually committed any murders herself. Why the fuck would a sociopath care? He might refuse because she's a prominent member of the community which would make her murder harder to get away with, but why would he object on moral grounds? He should have no morals.
Third, the sister character is just horrible. I know the writers want her to seem super-tough, but having her say fuck and goddamn every three words is a pretty lazy way of doing it. Also, why does she love Dexter so much? She was an only child whose father's world revolved around her. Then this foundling shows up and not only does she have to share the father with him, he monopolizes the father's time because of his psychological problems. She should at least feel some resentment. Again, not necessarily a bad show, I enjoyed watching a few seasons, just nothing to write home about.

4. Mad Men

Zzzzzzz. . . .

Also http://wwwirritant.blogspot.com/2009/10/mad-men.html

Just when you thought they couldn't sink any lower. . .

. . .They come out with this:

 

(don't bother trying to read this screenshot)

 

Yes, the right, funded of course by the loathsome Koch Brothers, has started a campaign to encourage people to refuse to enroll in "Obamacare" with the catchy slogan:

Defend Your Health Freedom!

 

Because freedom's just another word for dying of preventable disease, I guess?

 

Obamacare will officially kick off on October 1, 2013 with open enrollment through the state and federal government health Exchanges. Exchanges, which are the key to implementing health care reform, threaten individual choices, privacy, freedom and pocketbooks.

 

 

Naturally, no explanation is offered as to how exchanges, the whole point of which is top offer choices, will threaten individual choices, or privacy, or pocketbooks. It's just a given that they will.

 



 

Obamacare will officially kick off on October 1, 2013 with open enrollment through the state and federal government health Exchanges. Exchanges, which are the key to implementing health care reform, threaten individual choices, privacy, freedom and pocketbooks.

Is that true? Probably not. I mean, if a bunch of wingnuts refuse to drive cars, I don't think the DMV would shut down. But either way, this has to be a new low point for these sons of bitches. (And I mean that literally, they are the offspring of male humans and female dogs)

They are actually sinking to a new low of convincing the ignorant, gullible rubes that listen to right-wing media to forego having the ability to see a doctor or get medicine just for the sheer nihilistic satisfaction of sticking a thumb in the eye of a President they don't like. And some of these fools will take them up on it. And I know, I know, it's easy to say that these horrible people deserve whatever bad things happen to them, but as horrible as they are, they're still people, dammit!

So, other than "Defending your Health Freedom," what other reasons are there for refusing to get insured?
Glad you asked. There are four of them, and they're all bullshit!

Reason #1:

 

No Private Insurance –

Obamacare is "Medicaid for the middle class" – or as CBO director Douglas Holtz-Eakin calls Exchange coverage: "a second Medicaid program."

Of course, this is an obvious lie since the exchanges will ONLY offer insurance from private companies, as the President caved shamefully on the public option.

Reason #2:
No Privacy –
Data enters federal database accessible by IRS.

If we've learned anything over the past few weeks it is that you have no privacy at all anymore anyway. I'm not sure what personal information you think that your doctor is going to have to report to the IRS under "Obamacare."

 

You've got some questionable deductions, Mr. Smith, and I see here that you've been taking boner pills!

Reason the third:

3. Limited Choice –
 Coverage is "narrow network" policies.

Okay, I don't know what "narrow network" policies means, although I could hazard a guess, but compare them to the choice most of us have now. We have the choice of going with the policy our company's HR dept. chose or having no coverage at all. And we're the lucky ones! Some folks have the choice of no coverage or no coverage if their employer doesn't offer it.

And finally, reason # four:

4. High Cost Premiums – Income redistribution to pay for Exchange operations and subsidizing high-cost individuals.



 

Goddammit, Florida! Really?

If you've ever been to Florida, then you know that pretty much everyone who lives their is just nuts. It's the kind of place where it makes perfect sense that of course Aaron Hernandez and Tim Tebow would be teammates and probably besties.

Forget it, Jake. It's Florida.



So of course Florida is the gun-humpinnest state in the Union. (nice try, Tennessee)

Well, it turns out, this being Florida, after all, that even the damn cops can't be trusted with guns!

Florida Cops Shoot Unarmed Black Man In His Mother’s Driveway

By Rebecca Leber on July 29, 2013 at 2:46 pm

This weekend, deputies from Escambia County, Florida shot an unarmed man who went to grab cigarettes from the car parked in the driveway of his mother’s home. A neighbor called police at 2 a.m. because he suspected 60-year-old Roy Middleton was stealing the car.

Roy Middleton, 60.

Doesn't look dangerous, but he might have been wearing a hoodie!

 



Why would sheriff's deputies shoot an unarmed man who wasn't even suspected of anything violent? Trick question, because it's fucking Florida!

 

Things quickly escalated when two deputies arrived and ordered Middleton to “get your hands where I can see them,” the Pensacola News Journal reports:

[Middleton] said he initially thought it was a neighbor joking with him, but when he turned his head he saw deputies standing halfway down his driveway.
He said he backed out of the vehicle with his hands raised, but when he turned to face the deputies, they immediately opened fire.
“It was like a firing squad,” he said. “Bullets were flying everywhere.”

The deputies reportedly fired about seven shots at the unarmed man;

Now here's the one positive thing about this being Florida is the cops fired seven shots and only connected once.

Several neighbors said they heard the commotion, but weren’t entirely sure why events unfolded the way they did.

"Oh, right, because we live in fucking Florida," they later added.

A teenage girl who said she witnessed a portion of the incident said she never saw Middleton provoke the deputies.
“He wasn’t belligerent or anything,“ she said.
Middleton, too, said he doesn’t understand how or why the incident escalated so quickly. He also said deputies never offered him an explanation or an apology.


Here's your explanation. It's fucking Florida!

So predictable

Several years ago, when we still lived in Northern California, we took a drive up to Oregon to visit the Missus's parents. In the area just above and below the CA/OR border, we saw several signs welcoming us to the State of Jefferson, the 51st State.

 

The most interesting state in the world

 



 From what we could gather at the time, the concept of Jefferson was that people in the far north of California and southern Oregon didn't feel like they were adequately represented in their respective state capitols and so wanted to break off into a new state of their own. Apparently, this idea goes back a long way. According to the Jefferson Public radio website:

The first recorded "rebellion" of Jeffersonians was quite serious and occurred in 1852. At the first California state legislature a bill was introduced to create a "State of Shasta" which encompassed much of what is now Jefferson. The bill died in committee but only because of the pressure of other legislative business.

Anyway. . . the only real reason I even bring this up is because of a flyer that Jeffersonians circulated in the 1940's which has maybe the funniest line ever written in a secessionist manifesto:

You are now entering Jefferson, the 49th State of the Union.

Jefferson is now in patriotic rebellion against the states of California and Oregon.

This State has seceded from California and Oregon this Thursday, November 27, 1941. Patriotic Jeffersonians intend to secede each Thursday until further notice.

 

(emphasis added by me because that is freakin hysterical!)

 

Now the people of Jefferson had some legitimate beefs back in the day. They paid their taxes same as anyone else, but they were kinda getting stiffed on government services, especially roads. And they had some fairly clever slogans along those lines like:

 

"OUR ROADS ARE NOT PASSABLE, HARDLY JACKASSABLE" "THE PROMISED LAND -- OUR ROADS ARE PAVED WITH PROMISES."  "IF OUR ROADS YOU WOULD TRAVEL, BRING YOUR OWN GRAVEL."

Sure, they weren't misspelt racist, or paranoid, but still, pretty clever.

 

Wouldn't have lasted 10 minutes in Jefferson

 



But, even thought their beef was legitimate, they never did end up seceding, the end.

Now, North Colorado, on the other hand. . .

Proposed new state in northern Colorado gains traction

Published July 27, 2013

FoxNews.com

A proposal backed by several Colorado counties to form a new state called North Colorado is getting public support.
More than four dozen people showed up Thursday at the first public meeting to discuss a proposal to form a 51st state. Nearly all of them said they support secession.

Four dozen people! Wow! That's almost as many people as the number of donuts eaten at the last meeting I attended! What a formidable group four dozen people is! Do you k=have any idea what 4 dozen people look like all gathered in one place?

 

In fairness, this is actually 55 people.

 

I mean, if this many people are in support, it's bound to pass!

But it's so sadly predictable. Every time right-wingers don't get their way, they want to take their bat and ball and go home. They had 8 years of GW Bush, six of those with Republican Congresses, and the minute the other guy takes office, you got your Rick Perrys and your Todd Palins wanting to secede from the damn Union. They don't like Obamacare, they want to shut down the entire government. Because majority rule is apparently only a guiding principle when they are in the majority.

So what long train of abuses and usurpations is causing 4 dozen people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another?

I think people, when they feel disenfranchised, when they feel that their voices are not being heard, I think that’s a problem in a representative form of government,” Weld County commissioner Sean Conway was quoted as saying.

Oh, that does sound pretty bad. I can't imagine what that must feel like, as someone who opposed the war in Iraq and the bank bailout and wanted single-payer healthcare, I imagine it must be awful to not have your voice heard!
Anything more specific?

The five Weld County commissioners at the meeting said they support including the 51st state initiative on the county's ballot in November, The Greeley Tribune reported.
Commissioners say legislative efforts to crack down on energy drilling and gun laws are prime reasons for the movement.
“We believe there’s an attack on oil and gas,” commissioner Barbara Kirkmeyer said. “We believe there’s an attack on agriculture. I don’t think those down in Denver understand any of it.”

Oh, sure. Now it makes sense. You're going to secede from the state of Colorado because you feel so strongly that you must defend the rights of the oil and gas companies and gun manufacturers. Now I get it!



One other thing. For FOX, when thousands of protestors show up to occupy Wall Street, that's just an insignificant little group of hippies, but when an entire FOUR DOZEN show up to fake-secede from Colorado, that's an idea that is "Gaining Traction!"