Sunday, December 29, 2013

Tom DeLay? Seriously?

Tom DeLay is back? Seriously? That smarmy little criminal? And yes, I know his conviction was, to use a social-conservative phrase, "overturned on a technicality," but still, how have we not seen the last of this little scumbag?
 

WND EXCLUSIVE

Tom DeLay on America: Lose God, lose greatness

Cites abortion, divorce, homosexuality, debt in calling situation a 'disaster'


What do divorce, homosexuality and debt have to do with each other?

http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/pyramid.jpg

No?

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/IyDp18wh0pc/hqdefault.jpg

 Are you sure?


 http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/p97M8jmJ8IU/hqdefault.jpg
 No, definitely couldn't be that.


I'm sorry, we were looking for "Things that Republicans pretend are scary!"

http://www.curtalliaume.com/pyramidgame1.jpg
Pictured: A lovely parting gift!

Anyway, back to what we were talking about:

Former U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas, who was elected House majority leader in 2002 but later left office in the middle of a battle against unsubstantiated claims of money laundering, says America is losing its greatness because it has abandoned God.

 If by "unsubstantiated," you mean totally true but legally we can pretend otherwise, then sure. Unsubstantiated!

Speaking at a meeting of the Texas Tea Party Republican Women, he cited Colossians 1:16, which reads, “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.”

He contends the verse demonstrates God created America and the Constitution, and that both should be defended for this reason alone.

DeLay told WND the Founding Fathers, “along with most of the citizens of the colonies, were religious, moral, and well educated on which was based their worldview.”

“From that worldview, they knew there was a God, and they called on Him for guidance. They knew that God and the Bible were the solutions for the tyranny they faced,” he said.



Okay, and here is where we run into a little logic trouble. Because clearly the Founding Fathers did NOT believe in the Bible verse you cited. Obviously they could not have believed in that principle, in which much of the Western World did believe, of the "Divine Right of Kings" because if they had believed that, they would have no moral justification for the Revolutionary War. You can't believe that the King has been chosen by the Almighty to be your ruler and also think that you ought to have a violent overthrow of that king. God and the Bible can't be the solutions for the "tyranny" they faced, because God is the one who put the "tyrant" in charge in the first place. Also, if you think God is going to be the solution, why bother having an armed uprising? Why not let God handle it?

You can't have it both ways. You can't believe that "whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.” applies to George Washington but not to King George. You can't say that the all authorities are "created through him and for him, except for Barack Obama, let's have a second Revolution!" If you believe that God has put authorities and rulers and powers in placed, then you goddamm well better start showing some fucking respect for the leader He has chosen. Even if He chose a black guy this time.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

What the Hell is Wrong With People?

I thought I'd seen it all when they came out with a Ted Cruz coloring book.

http://retired.talkingpointsmemo.com/Images/ted-cruz-coloring-book.png

And then I saw on Colbert that people are actually buying it. It's number one on the Amazon coloring book list which is apparently an actual best-seller list. Of course, it's possible  that people are buying it as gag gifts, I mean it is pretty funny with Ted on the cover doing the Herb Tarlek finger-guns next to a daisy tree with giant butterflies like a verse that got cut from Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds.

But if I thought that product was bad, which I did, that was nothing compared to this:



  Benghazis Murderers Mug

Yes, it's the Benghazi's Murderers Mug. No, really. Here's the entire design:

Benghazis Murderers Mug

Now forget for a moment how stupid this is. People buy stupid products all the time. there's definitely a market for stupid products. But let's say you're the kind of person who actually believes that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton literally murdered Benghazi. Why would you want them on your coffee mug? Why would you want your morning coffee accompanied by pictures of people you hate and that you think are murderers?



http://dairyofanonnymoose.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/tonydrinkingteabreitbartdotcom.jpg 
With my afternoon tea, I like to stare at a photo of Jeffery Dahmer!

I can't imagine the person who would buy this. Someone who hates hates HATES Obama and Clinton but needs to be reminded of that on a regular basis?What the hell is wrong with people? What would make someone want to start off their day with a dose of hate and anger? I would have thought that was the worst product ever. Then I saw this:

















Yes. It's a 'not-equal" sticker. It's being sold by a group called "Mass Resistance" and being marketed like this:

 

Tired of having the homosexual "equal" sign always thrown in your face? Stick it back at them -- and counter the gay agenda -- with MassResistance's stickers!


Have some fun countering the "gay" agenda

Wow.
 This is a product for the person who wants to proudly display the message "sorry, Mr. Gay Person, but I have convinced myself that I, as a heterosexual person, am in some way superior to you. And, that being said, I  actually have gone out of my way to proclaim that no, you are NOT equal. You, Mr. gay person, are not equal to me, a mouth-breathing bag of hatred and fear, for I am a hetero!"

What the hell is wrong with people?




Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Who the hell is this little prick?

Before today, I had never heard of Douglas Ernst, even though, judging by his last name, we could possibly be related.  (please, God, no!)

Anyway, today Lizz Winstead tweeted a link to something he wrote about her, and it immediately raised the question "who the hell is this little prick?"

Apparently, he's this guy:
Douglas  Ernst

And he writes for the Moonie Times which is just synonymous with credibility and sanity in my book!

And he writes this blog:

Douglas Ernst

Bareknuckled Commentary mixed with Pop Culture.


Yeah, "bareknuckled" commentary. "Bareknuckled." Because nothing says "tough guy" like typing away on a computer. I know I feel pretty bad-ass right now!

Anyway, he has many thoughts about Lizz Winstead and none of them are good.

Now, I don't know Lizz Winstead, I've never met Lizz Winstead, I don't really know a lot about her. But I know she created The Daily Show which makes her a national fucking treasure, but let's hear what this smug little prick has to say about the great Lizz Winstead.

Lizz Winstead: Planned Parenthood’s personal narcissist

ooookayyyyyy. . . Obviously this is going to be a totally rational discussion.

Lizz Winstead has called motherhood “indentured servitude.” She recalls that even as a child she never wanted to be a mom. Perhaps. She can tell herself that. Although,  it’s also likely that the abortion she had as a teenager might have something to do with it.


Yes, I suppose it would. I suppose her desire to refrain from motherhood would have some relation to her decision to terminate a pregnancy. What the fuck point is this little prick even trying to make?
Also, she can tell herself that, but clearly Douglas Ernst has a much better idea of what she really thinks! Duh!

Liberal feminists have a long history of denigrating stay-at-home moms. One could argue that raising children (and raising them right), is quite possibly the most important job there is.


Yes. One could argue that. One could also argue that Justin Bieber is the best singer there is. One could argue pretty much anything. And if raising children correctly is the most important job there is, shouldn't people be really selective about going in to that line of work? If it's really so important, not just everyone should be doing it, there should be some sort of qualifications. You should be pleased that those who don't have an aptitude for parenthood don't choose to go into that line of work.

One could argue that raising children (and raising them right), is quite possibly the most important job there is. And yet, time and time again they act is if all the wonderful technology we have today always existed and that those evil men banished them indoors anyway. For that, Lizz only needs to travel to the Middle East… [elipses in original. This is actually the end of the paragraph.]




What the fuck does that even mean? What does wonderful technology have to do with being banished indoors? I don't even get what he's trying to say here.

Liberal feminists act as if being a mother is a “chore,” when in fact the ability to give life and then nurture it into someone who will be a good, honest contributing member of society is a blessing.


How would you know? How many babies have you given life to? You don't have a uterus, how would you know what motherhood is like?
Honestly, it does seem like it would be a chore.

Comedienne and co-creator of the Daily Show, Lizz Winstead, is Exhibit-A for the case against the liberal-feminist worldview. Or perhaps I should say Exhibit-Z4, since no one really knows who she is.


Well, she's well-known enough for you to write about her. I would venture to guess that more people know who Lizz Winstead is than know who the fuck you are.


. She states:
One time my mom gave me a stove, a toy stove, for Christmas and I was like, are you kidding?! Even at 8, I was like, cooking is not a game. You know, this is not a game. I want to be outside. I want to do anything but cook and have a baby that pees and that you call that a game. That is not a game, that is a baby that pees. That is not fun for me. That’s indentured servitude.
Indentured servitude. It takes a special kind of narcissist to refer to motherhood as “indentured servitude.”

How is that narcissistic? Not wanting to play with a pretend stove? Not wanting to get peed on by a baby? That's narcissism? And it doesn't seem like she was referring to actual motherhood, it seems like her 8-year-old self was referring to playing mother. Although one could certainly argue that actual motherhood is comparable to indentured servitude in that it is a thankless, unpaid job from which there is no getting out for 18 years.


 It takes a special kind of narcissist to refer to motherhood as “indentured servitude.” Of course, when you think the world should revolve around you that’s the logical progression of thoughts, I guess. With that said, I can’t help but think that perhaps there’s more to the story than an 8 year old little girl who never wanted to be a mommy. Perhaps Winstead’s antipathy toward motherhood doesn’t trace back to her Barbie days, but her…abortion.


The abortion again? I really think you have it backward. Not wanting to be a mother leads to having an abortion, not the other way around. How would having an abortion sour one on the idea of motherhood? If teenage Lizz had wanted to someday experience motherhood but had an abortion because she wasn't yet ready, being a teen and all, how would the abortion change her outlook? How would the abortion create an antipathy for motherhood? Think about it. It makes no sense!

If we've learned nothing else from Judge Judy, we have learned this.
 


And he includes a link to a video which I haven't watched because who has time, but he has plenty to say about it.

Please, watch the entire video. It’s a fascinating case study of denial and projection. Lizz, a staunch supporter of Planned Parenthood, talks about her experience as a 16 year old—she became pregnant the first time she had sex. In her desperation she went to a religious organization to get tested anonymously. After tests came back, besides being told that she could have the child or give it up for adoption, a woman deadpanned: “It’s either mommy or murder.”

Harsh words for a 16 year old? Sure. But what does one expect when they go to an organization that believes life begins at conception? That’s like being surprised you got pregnant after having sex without a condom. At eight Lizz was smart enough to be thinking about ‘indentured servitude,’ but at 16 she wasn’t smart enough to go to the drug store for a pack of condoms. Teenage Liz wasn’t too bright, but then again, we’re all lucky that being a good person isn’t dependent on IQ.



And someone who isn't smart enough to buy condoms is exactly the kind of person who should be doing the MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD (tm).
And what does being not too bright have to do with denial and/or projection? And what do any of those things have to do with Winstead's supposed narcissism?
 
Who the Fuck Knows?





The most telling takeaway from her pro-choice tale seem to be:
In response to being told she had the baby’s life to think about: “What about my life? What are my choices? … I have pom-poms in my room! I can’t be a mom! … I felt so alone … How could she be pro-life when she wasn’t pro-my-life? That wasn’t pro-life, that was profane.”
Lizz never wanted choices—she wanted an abortion.

 That's a choice!

She had a choice between abortion and not an abortion, and she chose abortion. That's what the word choice means. It means you choose the choice you want. seriously, it's not hard to understand!

Lizz never wanted choices—she wanted an abortion. And she didn’t want just an abortion, she wanted to be told that it was okay. A clinic worker who didn’t tell Lizz she could live a life without consequences was somehow “profane”? Nice try.


So she wanted to not be condemned for her choice? She wanted to not be called a murderer? She wanted to be able to control her reproductive system without having a scarlet A glued to her chest?  What a narcissist! And yes, that's really not the definition of "profane," I think she was making a pun, you know, "pro-life" /  "pro-fane?" It's a play on words.

Also, you know who probably knows what Lizz Winstead was thinking even better that Doug Ernst does? LIZZ WINSTEAD. So shut up, Douglas Ernst, you smarmy little prick!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Netflix Reccomendations

With Breaking Bad ending and Walking Dead, Orphan Black, the Americans, and Hell on Wheels all on hiatus, we've been having some serious tv withdrawals here in the Chaos Compound. So we've turned to Netflix. The missus has been on a roll lately with movie choices. And for some reason, they all seem to center around awkward adolescent boys.


1. Submarine.


Ooh, lucky I didn't see that Ben Stiller was involved in this movie before we watched it or I might have skipped it altogether. Anyway, it's about a boy trying to save his parents' marriage while struggling with his own first love. it reminded me of Wes Anderson, so if you like that sort of thing, you'll probably like this movie.


2. Jesus Henry Christ



This one is about an extremely gifted boy looking for his biological father, and the man who may or may not be him and the girl who might be his half-sister. Toni Collette is terrific as the boy's mother, because she almost always is when she's not doing United States of Tara (good GAWD, was that awful!)

3. Speaking of Toni Collette, The Way Way Back.



I don't actually know if this is on Netflix, we got it from Redbox.  Anyway, this is kind of like if you took Meatballs and made the relationship between Bill Murray's "Tripper" and the "Rudy" kid and made that the main plot of the movie, with a lot about the kid's backstory. Sam Rockwell channels Murray taking Liam James under his wing. Pretty good.

4. Super



It's not exactly about an awkward adolescent, but Rainn Wilson is certainly awkward, and in some ways seems to be in an arrested adolescence. Fair warning: This movie is really really violent. But also funny. And sad. It's basically a much much darker version of "Kick-Ass," with a protagonist who is clearly disturbed and his female sidekick, played by Ellen Page, who also has serious issues. It's good. But definitely not for everyone.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Bad Ads -- Crown Royal

Have you really thought this through, Crown Royal?





Let me see if I've got this straight. You're recommending that I spend the day lying in the sun licking myself, then celebrate that achievement by eating a gazelle and fucking a lioness?

No thanks.