Wednesday, May 6, 2015

The Worst Place in America



You'd think it would be in some deep-red state like Mississippi or Arkansas, but no. I'm pretty sure this headline just declared a winner in the race for worst place in America:


Staten Island prosecutor in Eric Garner case wins congressional special election






From what I understand, Staten Island in basically New Jersey without the elegance.

Staten Island is where frat boys settle when they leave college.

Half the cast of "Jersey Shore" is from Staten Island.

The movie "Copland" is about Staten Island.
I think.
Anyway, it could be.

But now they've really outdone themselves. They have rewarded the prosecutor who, rather than prosecuting the cops who choked a man to death ON VIDEO, punted to the grand jury and somehow, through either stunning incompetence or sadly predictable malfeasance, failed to get an indictment.

This is the man they choose to represent them in Washington.
I mean, the guy he's replacing was a lawbreaking bullying goon, but still.



I think the contest is over. Staten Island is the worst place in America.



Confusing Headline




Sweet Surprise for Newborn Photographer Who Couldn't Get Pregnant


I'm confused.

How could a newborn be a photographer?

And who would expect a newborn to be able to get pregnant? Who would want that?




Tuesday, May 5, 2015

This story keeps getting crazier

First, the Pentagon announced that they were going to do a big training exercise in the Southwest. Which isn't particularly crazy, because if you want to simulate conditions in Iraq or Afghanistan, you're gonna want to go to Texas or Arizona.

Then the nuts found out about it.




which is not surprising. There are a lot of idiots who listen to Alex Jones, so of course they thought that this was part of some New World Order kind of plot to take Texans' guns a way or whatever it is they think the black helicopters are up to.

Then it started to get really crazy.

Texas Governor Deploys State Guard To Stave Off Obama Takeover


Which means that either the governor of the second or third most populous state in the Union is a paranoid imbecile, or that the governor of the second or third most populous state in the union feels that he needs to pander to paranoid imbeciles to protect his political future. And I don't know which is more depressing.



Although, what Abbott and the assorted lunatic screwballs think that the "State Guard of Texas" would do to defend Texas from the most powerful military force the world has ever known remains a mystery.

Now the Wal*Mart corporation has had to issue a public denial that their closed locations are being used as part of some nefarious plot by the government  to take over the state that if we had any sense we'd give back to Mexico.


Wal-Mart: 'No Truth To The Rumors' Of Tunnels Being Built To Take Over Texas

Theorists have suggested that five Wal-Mart retail locations were shuttered abruptly because of Jade Helm 15. They have suggested that the closed stores, one of which is located in Texas, will serve as "food distribution centers" and will be used to "house the headquarters of invading troops from China, here to disarm Americans one by one."

Which would honestly be the best use of a Wal*Mart in the company's history.



Another theory suggested that there was already a system of underground tunnels below the closed Wal-Marts.
Well, that's ridiculous. If there were, their employees would have escaped.



Then Governor Abbott actually tried to justify his absurd, laughable response to his constituents' pathetic paranoia. 

Abbott told the Tribune his actions were "simple and non-inflammatory" and shouldn't be misconstrued.
“I frankly think that there was an overreaction to the simple fact that someone has to be in charge of gathering and disseminating information and we stepped in to play that role, which is a role to be applauded," Abbott told the Tribune.

No. I mean, I'm no military expert, but I'm pretty sure that they generally don't want anyone disseminating information about their training missions. Or any missions. I'm pretty sure they frown on anyone giving out information about what they're doing to a bunch of Gadsen flag-waving militia wannabes. 

Then, the lunatic cherry on top of this batshit sundae:

Chuck Norris Pledges To Protect Texas From Federal Invasion


Because occasionally he forgets that he isn't a character in one of his movies.


Last week, I laughed as some progressives in the mainstream media tried to mock Gov. Abbott for telling the Texas State Guard to monitor the Pentagon’s Jade Helm 15 military ops that are occurring this summer in seven states, including California and Texas.

No, they were actually pretty successful in their mocking of the idiot governor of your shithole state.


If Washington wants to cool the embers of controversy, then it should quit stoking the fire, as with the posting of a map of Jade Helm 15 “just” exercises that label some areas of the country, including Texas, as “hostile,” according to KHOU 11 News in Houston and verified by the Washington Post.


Oh. My. Gawd! If you're doing a military training exercise, you have to have some area serving as "hostile" territory. It's make-believe. It's playing pretend. How many times did you get kicked in the head in your career?


Concerned Texans and Americans are in no way calling into question our brave and courageous men and women in uniform. They are merely following orders. What’s under question are those who are pulling the strings at the top of Jade Helm 15 back in Washington. The U.S. government says, “It’s just a training exercise.” But I’m not sure the term “just” has any reference to reality when the government uses it.
“Well, I’m not trusting what we’re being told,” said Mike Hightower, an affable antique store owner and real-estate agent in the very small town of Smithville, Texas, where some Jade Helm 15 exercises will take place. He added, “I think there’s something a little more involved than what they’re telling us.”


Okay, first of all, Texans, as much as both you and we hate to admit it, ARE AMERICANS. Secondly, if you think that there was some federal plot to "invade" Texas, which is, as you may remember, already a part of the US, do you really think they would have told you they were coming?
And third, Mike the antique guy? That's your source? Well, if Mike the antique guy is suspicious, then hell yes we should all be afraid. **eye-roll**



Friends, when it comes to freedom, we must question, verify and vet everyone and everything. As Thomas Jefferson told his nephew, Peter, in 1787: “Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because, if there be one, he must more approve the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.”

Wow, it's almost like you're acknowledging that founding father Thomas Jefferson was not a devout Christian who wanted our nation to be a theocracy!



Monday, May 4, 2015

High Strung String Band

Saw our favorite local band this Saturday, doing a free concert in Decatur Square. I took these videos on my phone, so I apologize for the quality. Also, I think one of them cut off when I ran out of memory.

I'm not sure you can technically call them a bluegrass band anymore since they lost their banjo player and added a drummer(!) Also, at least at this show, guitarist John Mickelson played electric(!!)

They mostly write their own songs which is unusual for a young string band, I've only ever heard them do one Bill Monroe cover. I have heard them cover Bruce Springsteen, the Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, and DJ Khaled. I wish I had videos of those.


Anyway, please enjoy the High Strung String Band, and go here for more information about upcoming dates and/or to purchase one of their excellent cd's.











Thursday, April 30, 2015

Reacting to Unrest in Baltimore - A guide for white people



As a fellow white person, I feel it my duty to publish a few helpful hints for my melanin-challenged brethren about what not to do when discussing recent events in Baltimore.


1. Don't assume you know anything about the situation. You don't. I don't. Us white folks will never be in this kind of situation, we don't have any perspective to offer.

2. Don't, in any discussion of the events in Baltimore, use the word "thugs." It doesn't matter what you mean by the word "thug." It doesn't matter if, when you think "thug," you picture someone like this:
http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/norrena-blocker.jpg
The word "thug" has been used by white supremacists and their apologists to demonize so many dead black guys , from Trayvon Martin to Mike Brown to Eric Garner that it has become sort of a pseudo-polite version of the N-word. It doesn't matter how you mean it, just don't use it to describe the protestors or rioters or really any black person. Just don't.  Besides, guys who would throw a man in handcuffs into a van, not buckle him in and take him for a "rough ride" are pretty much the dictionary definition of thugs. Although you probably won't hear them called that.

 3. Don't reflexively defend the cops. Sure, the cops in your neighborhood may well be courteous professionals there to serve and protect, but your neighborhood isn't Baltimore. Here's a short excerpt from a recent Baltimore Sun article about their police department:

Over the past four years, more than 100 people have won court judgments or settlements related to allegations of brutality and civil rights violations. Victims include a 15-year-old boy riding a dirt bike, a 26-year-old pregnant accountant who had witnessed a beating, a 50-year-old woman selling church raffle tickets, a 65-year-old church deacon rolling a cigarette and an 87-year-old grandmother aiding her wounded grandson.
Those cases detail a frightful human toll. Officers have battered dozens of residents who suffered broken bones — jaws, noses, arms, legs, ankles — head trauma, organ failure, and even death, coming during questionable arrests. Some residents were beaten while handcuffed; others were thrown to the pavement.

That's 25 people per year WINNING lawsuits against the police dept. Which is not easy to do. Juries tend to believe cops, and it's usually the cops' word against someone who has been arrested, so is likely not to be trusted? The fact that the police have lost 100 suits in four years should speak volume about the level of corruption and violence in the Baltimore Police Department.


4. Do not, and I can not emphasize this enough, do NOT invoke Dr. King to shame those who may be reacting less than non-violently. You only make yourself look like an asshole. Yes, Martin Luther King preached non-violence. And he was still murdered. And the only reason a white person ever quotes Rev. King to a black person is to be extremely condescending. If you invoke Dr. King, you're really just using him as a cover for your own desire to tell black people how they should and shouldn't behave.


5. Don't try to blame the victim. Don't ask "well, why did he run from the police?" Well, when the police caught him, they murdered him, so you tell me why he was running. Why do gazelles run from lions? Sure, maybe this particular lion isn't hungry, maybe she just ate, maybe she has indigestion or just doesn't like the taste of gazelle. But the gazelle has no way of knowing, so he runs. And no one finds it necessary to say #NotAllLions.

6. Don't say "violence doesn't solve anything" or "violence is no the answer." Everyone already knows this. And you weren't urging non-violence when it was the cops killing unarmed black men. It's only when black people get so fed up and frustrated that their rage becomes uncontainable that you suddenly turn onto Gandhi and preach turning the other cheek. (I know that wasn't Gandhi, that was Jesus but I was on a roll)

7. Don't act like the demonstrators/protestors/rioters don't have every reason to be furious.

8. Don't act like a CVS building or some car windows are more important than a young man's life.

9. Don't believe ANYTHING from official sources. The Police Department is going to lie. They will circle the wagons and defend their officers no matter what. And that apparently includes coercing someone into telling a bullshit story about Freddy Gray intentionally trying to hurt himself by throwing himself against the steel walls of the police van. A story which was almost immediately debunked.

10. Don't believe any e-mail forwards from your racist relatives. Especially the one about Gray supposedly having a pre-existing back injury. It is a lie. And even if it weren't, what's the point? Like if he hadn't had this injury he would have survived being beaten and thrown around the back of a van? It would only be a case of police committing assault and battery instead of murder?

11. Don't ask your one black friend, or the one black guy at work to speak for the residents of Baltimore. It's unfair and insulting.

12. Do not watch FOX.

11.