Guess who's out of jail and making bullshit movies again?

If you guessed self-righteous adulterer and creepy version of Mr. Bean Dinesh D'Souza, give yourself five points!

NEW YORK – Conservative filmmaker and bestselling author Dinesh D’Souza has given WND permission to make public the trailer for his new feature film, “Hillary’s America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party.”

Wow, he's given you permission to give him free publicity for his upcoming movie? What a get!






And you know it's some honest film-making because the trailer begins with D'Souza pretending he was sentenced to Oz for campaign finance violations.

And that he was sent to jail not for having committed a crime, but because the Obama Administration wanted to "shut him up." I mean, yeah, pretty much everyone wishes you would shut up, Dinesh, but that's not why you were jailed. You actually, literally committed a crime, don't pretend like we don't know this.

And D'Souza promises to reveal the "secret history" of the Democratic Party. And the bombshell revelation? The Democratic Party used to be the favored party of Southern racists!
Um, everyone knows this.

It's like "revealing" that the San Francisco Giants used to play in New York. Everyone already knows, and it's means nothing. The Giants used to play in New York, the Dodgers were in Brooklyn, the Nationals used to be the Expos, and none of that has anything to do with the way the National League is currently configured.

White Southern racists used to vote for Democrats because they couldn't forgive the Republicans for being the party of Lincoln. Then LBJ signed the Civil rights Act, Nixon came up with the "Southern Strategy" * and Strom Thurmond led the racist Exodus from the Democratic Party to the GOP. Everyone already knows this. This is not a "secret" history.

Also, it's a little hard to portray the democrats as the party of the Klan when the Klan has just endorsed Republican front-runner Donald Trump.

And it ends with the question "what if their plan is to 'steal' America?" And in this context, I guess the word "steal" means "get elected to public office by the voters? And then govern?

The trailer is scheduled to debut officially Saturday at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington, D.C., as part of D’Souza’s presentation on a panel.

Ahh, CPAC! The Cannes of bullshit!

 

 

“The Democrats at their national presidential nominating convention in Philadelphia will be meeting in July to put out their official story of the Democratic Party’s role in American history, and we will be opening in theaters across the country to put out the counter-narrative – namely, the truth,” D’Souza told WND in an interview Thursday.

Theaters across the country! And by "theaters," we of course mean church basements, VFW halls and multi-purpose rooms rented out by the College Republicans.

Anyway, there's probably more we could get into, but the computer is acting up agai. Let's just say that if any of you are members of the Democratic Party, enjoy it while you can. Because Dinesh D'Souza is going to blow this party out of the water!




*Technically, I think Kevin Philips came up with the Southern Strategy on Nixon's behalf, but I don't like to quibble.

Saturd80's - XTC

Technically, I think a couple of these are from the late '70's, and one might be from the early '90's, but whatever.

Why posting has been infrequent lately.

It's getting really hard to do this kind of a blog anymore, now that everything has descended into self-parody. It's hard to come up with sarcastic comments about, for instance, the NRA's Wayne LaPierre railing against "gun-free zones" from the safety of a gun-free zone at CPAC.








Or how could one possibly satirize the GOP harrumphing about Donald Trump's refusal to "refudiate" the Klan?  "A racist? In our Grand old Party? Well, I never!"





Yes, you must absolutely reject bigotry while trying to prevent gay marriage, deporting millions of Hispanics, keeping minorities from voting and coming up with ways to justify every shooting of an unarmed black person. What could I possibly say that would be more absurd than their actual position?


What could anyone write that would be more ridiculous than a Presidential debate devolving into dick jokes?
Although, I'm still trying to figure out Trump's logic on that one. Instead of just saying "look, you can see my hands are normal size," he tries to get all logician on the subject with "well, if my hands were small, then it follows that my penis would necessarily also be small, and I assure you that my penis is not at all small, so ipso facto my hands must not be small either." First of all, I'm pretty sure that the whole hand-size/penis-size thing is a myth. My hands are quite large, and. . . um. . . forget it, it doesn't matter.

So, yeah. It's tough these days for a smart-alecky blogger. But I'll keep trying.

Shut it down.

Okay, that's it. Shut it down. America is over.



Because this was an actual headline I saw online today:

Hillary or Trump: Who would survive the Walking Dead?

The Walking Dead Actors Ross Marquand, Josh McDermitt, Michael Cudlitz, and Executive Producer Greg Nicotero all answer one hard question. Who would survive the zombie apocalypse? Hillary or Trump?

So that's it for us. We once were a society that produced FDR, Miles Davis, Willie Mays and Katherine Hepburn. We are no longer that society, because this is not only a question that someone thought of, but they actually took the time and effort to find some actors from the Walking Dead and ask them, without a hint of shame, which candidate would fare better in this fictional scenario which, by the way, none of these actors have any real insight about since they are actors in a TV show and have confronted exactly the same number of living dead as you or I have. (spoiler alert: it's zero.)


It's not like it's a slow news day. We are in the midst of a Presidential election, one in which  a good portion of our electorate seems hell-bent on handing the reigns of power over to an egomaniacal failed businessman with fascist leanings. And you're going to ask about the Walking Dead?

Oh, well. We had a good run.

The end is upon us!

Every so many years, some Harold Camping-type nutty preacher will come up with a date for when the world is supposed to end. Inevitably, that nut is incorrect. Which leads to the prophet's dilemma. Once your date has come and gone, how do you keep the true believers believing? Do you a) admit you don't know what the hell you're talking about? b) Say you miscalculated? c) Say that God has changed his mind? There really aren't any good options.

Right-wingers in this country have a similar problem. They promised everyone that if Barack Obama was elected President, the entire nation - nay, western Civilization - would collapse around our ears. Then they swore that if President Obama were RE-elected, then for sure this once great nation would plummet into the dustbin of history along with the Roman Empire and Nicholas Cage's acting career. But it's been 7 years and so far the US doesn't seem to have teetered into the abyss. So what to do? Right-wingers looked at the above options and said "none of the above." They came up with a new strategy: pretend it did.

I didn't get it at first. I saw clips of the various GOP candidates making speeches and doing their little debates and they all promised to "re-build" our military if elected president.

Rubio: That's why when I'm president we are going to rebuild our intelligence capabilities. And they're going to tell us where the terrorists are. And a rebuilt U.S. military is going to destroy these terrorists.

CRUZ: Chris, in 1981, when Ronald Reagan came to the Oval Office, he encountered a military that had been debilitated just as the current military has, just like Jimmy Carter weakened our readiness, undermined our ability to defend this country, so too has Barack Obama.

BUSH: The question that you asked was a really good one about what you would do — what three things would you do.
I would restore the military. . .

I didn't really get why they were all pretending that we don't have the largest, most powerful military the world has ever seen. You'd think they'd be proud of that. You'd think they'd be proud of the fact that our military might dwarfs every other nation on Earth.







(Click to embiggen)

 And there's other things that are just factually and obviously untrue, like:

The ad is titled “Second Amendment.” In it, Trump says:
So important is our Second Amendment. The politicians are chipping away at it day by day, night by night, [and] it gets weaker and weaker.

“In the past month, we have seen religious liberty under assault at an unprecedented level,” Cruz told the Iowa Faith and Freedom Coalition outside Des Moines in April.

But I think I finally see what the strategy is here. 1) They've been predicting doom and gloom for several years. 2) Doom and Gloom have failed to materialize. 3) They aren't capable of admitting they were wrong. So. . . they just pretend that they're right.

It's like one of these cult guys takes all his followers up to the mountaintop and says "the world will end tonight!" Then the next morning, when the flock says "Hey! The world didn't end last night," he says "yes it did."
And won't let it go.  The prophet is just walking around saying "boy, can you believe how much Heaven looks just like a mountaintop in North Carolina? That's unexpected! Hey, brother Jim, did you hear Gabriel's trumpet last night? You slept through it? Haha, your wife said you sleep like a log, she wasn't kidding!"
Oh, look, there's the saints and apostles, um, dressed up as deer and rabbits for some reason. Hi, Saint Paul! Great costume!"

I guess the only difference is that the cult members probably wouldn't buy this much bullshit. Republicans eat it up.