The modern libertarian's song

A while back, I started writing a musical based on my idea of what Gilbert & Sullivan might have to say about today's political scene were they somehow alive today. I call it

"The Darling of the Tea Party." 

(More)

Anyway, I got tired of it and stopped, but now I'm starting up again. Scene 3: The Modern Libertarian.

Enter Ron and/or Rand Paul:



I am the very model of a modern Libertarian
I've all the flawless logic of a senile centenarian
I don't believe in government
I miss no chance to bash it
But when my SSI check comes, you bet your ass I cash it!

When anyone says regulate, I say the market should decide
And when it comes to poverty, I say the market will provide.
I don't believe the government should ever interfere with us,
Except to make some rules about the contents of your uterus!


I am the very model of a modern Libertarian
My following is mostly made of college-aged contrarians
I talk about morality
I think that kindness is a vice
I think that I can make Ayn Rand compatible with Jesus Christ


I know our mythic history, George Washington and Thomas Paine
Ayn Rand and Ronald Reagan each have favored spots within my brain.
Of Austrian economics I know quite a lot, or so I'm told
At least enough to crucify this country on a cross of gold.

I've all the sensitivity of any brute barbarian
There's nothing that I hate more than a weak egalitarian
In matters of society, bourgeois or proletarian
I am the very model of a modern libertarian