Terrible Marketing - Seagram's Ginger Ale

There is a billboard down the street from the Chaos Compound which advertises Seagram's Ginger Ale with the tagline "Crisp, Clean, No Caffeine." It's too cold to go out and take a picture of it to prove it and I can't find an image of it online, but it's there, I'm telling you. I'm Not Crazy!

So, do they think that we don't remember the 7-Up campaign from the 1980's?





Crisp and clean, no caffeine. That was 7-Up's line. Does Seagram's hope that people who like 7-Up will get confused and buy Seagram's Ginger Ale instead? Or do they just think that thewre's a huge untapped ginger ale market among the under-thirty crowd?

Hey, If It's Good Enough For Oklahoma. . .

. . .I guess it's good enough for Georgia.

House Bill 45, introduced by Rep. Mike Jacobs, R-Atlanta, states “it shall be the public policy of this state to protect its citizens from the application of foreign laws when the application … will result in the violation of a right guaranteed by the Constitution of this state or of the United States.” The bill also would prevent arbitrators or tribunals from enforcing a foreign law that didn’t meet constitutional standards.

But foreign laws that do meet Constitutional standards could still be enforced?

Jacobs, a lawyer and vice chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, told the Fulton County Daily Report the bill would “ban the use of Sharia law in state courts.” He acknowledged that he was not aware of any instances in Georgia where a plaintiff or defendant asked the court to apply Sharia law but believes it has happened elsewhere.

Wasn't there a time when believing something that is demonstrably false disqualified a person from holding public office?

“We’re seeing more of a feeling that Sharia law should be applied in domestic cases,” he said, such as divorces

Form where? From where are you seeing this feeling? Honestly, if you think you can see a feeling, you might be tripping pretty hard. Can you taste music? Can you hear colors? How many fingers am I holding up?

The chairman of the House Judiciary panel, Rep. Wendell Willard, R-Sandy Springs, has signed on as a sponsor but hedged when asked whether he supports the bill.

Sponsoring the bill without actually supporting it? Now THAT'S a politician! You might want to take notes, kids, this is how it's done!

Hey, Mississippi, do you know why no one respects you?

It's 'cause of shit like this:

Mississippi ponders putting KKK leader and Confederate hero Nathan Bedford Forrest on license plates

Solis/AP

Greg Stewart, a member of the Mississippi chapter of the Sons of Confederate Veterans shows off a sample of the latest Civil War 150th anniversary plate now on sale (seen at left).

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/02/10/2011-02-10_mississippi_ponders_putting_kkk_leader_and_confederate_hero_nathan_bedford_forre.html#ixzz1Db3c0Xc9

l#ixzz1Db3PmUKs

AFA's Bryan Fischer Still Allowed to Comment Publicly, For Some Reason

And apparently, he's still obsessed with how nobody better try giving America back to them Injuns!

And you know why? 'Cuz they don't deserve it. Just being here first is no defense against God-sanctioned genocide!

Native Americans Morally Disqualified Themselves From the Land

Tuesday, February 08, 2011 10:38 AM

By Bryan Fischer

In all the discussions about the European settlement of the New World, one feature has been conspicuously absent: the role that the superstition, savagery and sexual immorality of native Americans played in making them morally disqualified from sovereign control of American soil.

I got nothing. How do you even respond to a statement like that?

International legal scholars have always recognized that sovereign control of land is legitimately transferred in at least three ways: settlement, purchase, and conquest. Europeans have to this day a legitimate claim on American soil for all three of those reasons.

Um, really? Conquest is considered a legitimate transfer of sovereignty?  So if I beat you up and take your wallet, do I have a legitimate legal claim to your money? And does "settlement" really count if someone else is already living there? Can I "settle" in your living room and claim your house as mine since I've already unpacked my stuff and I'm pretty much settled in? I think I might like these rules, assuming that I could take you in a fight.

Oh, yeah. I'm gonna like these rules.

Much of the early territory in North American that came into possession of the Europeans came into their possession when the land was purchased from local tribes, Peter Minuit’s purchase of Manhattan being merely the first. 

I don't know where you're getting this, but even if we pretend that Manhattan was a legitimate purchase, that's still a pretty miniscule fraction of the North American land mass. "Buying" a tiny portion doesn't excuse or mitigate taking the rest by force of arms.

And the Europeans proved superior in battle, taking possession of contested lands through right of conquest. So in all respects, Europeans gained rightful and legal sovereign control of American soil. 

"Contested lands?" When I kick your ass and take your money, will you refer to "contested funds?" How in the hell do you get the idea that forceful conquest somehow equates to legitimate acquisition?

But another factor has rarely been discussed, and that is the moral factor. 

I think the moral angle would have to be that stealing and killing is bad?

In the ancient tradition of the Hebrews, God made it clear to Abraham that the land of Canaan was promised to his descendants. But he told Abraham the transfer of land to his heirs could not happen for 400 years, for one simple reason: “[T]he iniquity of the Amorites is not yet complete” (Gen. 15:16). 

Hmm, what an odd coincidence. The book says that God promised the land to the people who wrote the book? What are the odds? And why would God wait until their "iniquity" was "complete?" If He knew that there was 400 more years of iniquity coming, why not just launch a pre-emptive strike? Had He not seen "Minority Report?" 

The Amorites, or Canaanite peoples, practiced one moral abomination after another, whether it was incest, adultery, sexual immorality, homosexuality, bestiality or child sacrifice, and God finally said “Enough!”
His patience was not rewarded, and finally the day came when the sin had reached its full measure. The slop bucket was full, and it was time to empty it out. Israel under Joshua was God’s custodian to empty the bucket and start over. 

Really? So how does this work? How many child sacrifices can I get away with before God gets fed up enough to do something about it? Is any of this in writing? How do I know how much sexual immorality I can indulge in before the slop bucket fills up? (Insert your own filthy joke here)

The native American tribes at the time of the European settlement and founding of the United States were, virtually without exception, steeped in the basest forms of superstition, had been guilty of savagery in warfare for hundreds of years, and practiced the most debased forms of sexuality. 

Okay, you really have no idea what you are talking about, do you? I certainly don't pretend to know anything about the sex lives of Native Americans 

(I'm guessing this wasn't a documentary)

but I can tell you that the Native Americans that the first white folks encountered were pretty peaceful.

 

Does this ring a bell?

 

And those groups that were more bellicose were certainly not any more guilty of "savagery" than the Europeans who developed practices like the "Blood Eagle"  burning at the stake and Crucifixion.

One of the complaints listed by Thomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence was that King George “has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.”

Sounds a lot like "shock and awe." And of course, there's no way that Thomas Jefferson would just be saying something totally racist! (*cough* had slaves *cough*)

The native American tribes ultimately resisted the appeal of Christian Europeans to leave behind their superstition and occult practices for the light of Christianity and civilization. They in the end resisted every attempt to “Christianize the Savages of the Wilderness,” to use George Washington’s phrase. 

Oh, well, why didn't you say so? Fuck 'em then. If they won't adopt the ways of the guys with guns, then they deserve to be wiped out and. . .  wait, that doesn't sound right.

God explained to the nation of Israel that because of the “abomination(s)” of the indigenous Canaanite tribes, the land had become unclean and “vomited out its inhabitants (Lev. 18:25).”
Is this to say the same holds true for native American tribes today? In many respects, the answer is of course no. 

Oh, wow, I thought for sure you were going to say "yes!" It's nice to see that you have some shred of dignity. . .oh, you weren't done yet, were you?

In many respects, the answer is of course no. But in some senses, the answer is yes.

Oh, Goddammit!
 

 Many of the tribal reservations today remain mired in poverty and alcoholism because many native Americans continue to cling to the darkness of indigenous superstition instead of coming into the light of Christianity and assimilating into Christian culture. 

You do know how alcohol came to America, right? Maybe once the Indians tried the European custom of booze and saw how much harm it could do, they decided not to adopt other European practices? Just a thought. And we all know that there are no alcoholics in Christendom!

Sadly, this column will likely generate a firestorm of nuclear proportions among wingers on the left rather than the thoughtful reflection the thesis deserves.

Oh my God, I've seen episodes of Sponge Bob that deserve more thoughtful reflection than your "thesis!" 
If I'm understanding this right, your "thesis" is that anyone who doesn't share your religious beliefs is undeserving of land and whoever takes it from them is doing God's will. I assume that that would include the Christian epicenter of Europe, 8th Century Spain being conquered and ruled by the Moors for almost 8oo years. And the Ottoman Empire. And the empire of Alexander the Great? 


Also, you're a racist asshole. And no one has defended Manifest Destiny in decades. 


Idiot!

Random Observations from Superbowl Sunday

PREGAME:

* What the fuck, Micheal Douglas? Are you really putting a football game in the same category with 9/11, the March on Washington and landing on the moon? I thought that 9/11 in particular had given us a little sense of perspective about what is and is not important, but I guess you didn't get the memo.




*  America the Beautiful by some girl from Glee? Really? It's not enough that we have to sit through Christina Aguilera singing the National Anthem, we have to put up with two rounds of  oversung patriotic treacle just so FOX can promote the most unwatchable show on Television?

*  Did Christina Aguilerra just sing "twilight's last REAMING?" Also, didn't Christina Aguilerra used to be a decent singer? I only know the "I am Beautiful" song, but it seems to me that she had a pretty good voice. How did she get to be a big star singing like that?



Oooooooohhhhh, okay. that makes sense.

Commercials:

*  On a day that is notorious for being the worst day of the year for domestic violence, we get a Pepsi ad with a woman being knocked unconscious for laughs, Rosanne getting knocked over by a tree trunk for giggles, and a baby thrown against a wall for yucks? How is any of that appropriate?







*  You know what else isn't funny? Hurting dogs. Although, really, did anyone not see the ending of this ad coming a mile away? There are only two possible endings in this template. Either the dog knocks over the door, landing on the obnoxious idiot, or an even dumber guy crashes into the door trying to get the chip. (It's funny because he fell for the trap that was set for the dog! Brilliant!)



And nice pet-owner, by the way. "Babe, don't hurt my dog" is all you can manage before going back to your magazine? Do you not even notice that this asshole doesn't stop? He's still trying to get the dog to crash into the patio door, but you don't seem to care. I guess if you're letting yourself be defiled by someone like this obnoxious moron, maybe you do have to stop caring about anything.

*  I still don't understand what it is that "GoDaddy.com" does, which makes it that much easier to have nothing to do with them. And Danica Patrick has no self-respect. This is an extremely talented woman who has apparently decided, fuck it, I'll just get paid for T&A.



Why be famous for this. . .

. . .when I could be famous for this?

Halftime:

*  Hmm, what could be worse than Black Eyed Peas? Oh, Black Eyed Peas featuring Usher!
*  Has there ever been a more charmless performer than "Fergie"? And where did she get that outfit? Did Ace Frehley have a garage sale?

 

And Will-I-Am, was he auditioning for Starlight Express? 

And the one with the long hair, I don't know his name, but doesn't he just look like the sort of guy you'd have a hard time not punching in the face? Like if you spent two minutes with this guy you'd have to restrain yourself.




During the Game Itself:

*  I think Heinz Ward has a tatoo of Mickey Mouse striking the Heisman pose.



Yep, that's what it is all right. That is so cool!

Final score: I'm pretty sure Green Bay won.