Kim Kardashian Reaches a New Level of Shamelessness.

It was once said of someone that "She would go to the opening of an envelope." That used to be the standard for someone being a pathetic publicity whore. Now, thanks to Kim Kardashian, we have a new, lower, standard.

(via The Superficial)

 

Yeah, she's cutting the ribbon at the grand opening of a public toilet.

Today, Procter & Gamble (NYSE: PG) Charmin® Restrooms return to Times Square for the fifth consecutive year, giving holiday visitors and local New Yorkers a free, clean and family-friendly place to “enjoy the go” during this busy time of year. To launch the 2010 Restrooms, Charmin is calling on one of the newest New Yorkers, Kim Kardashian, to reveal its new location at 142 West 42nd Street, and this year’s themed bathroom stalls representing iconic U.S. locations, as part of the first-ever Charmin Go Nation national competition.

I don't know what's worse, the fact that Charmin is having a grand opening for a toilet, or that they use the phrase "enjoy the go." That is just horrible. Just really awful. And then what sort of competition are they having? No, wait. I don't want to know. 

“With my recent transition to New York, I’ve been checking out all the gifts the City has to offer visitors and New Yorkers alike,” says Kardashian. “During the holiday shopping season, I’m happy to join Charmin as they give the gift of the Restrooms near Times Square.”

"Also, I have no shame and not a spec of dignity!" she might as well have added. "Are people looking at me? LOOK AT ME!!!!! TALK ABOUT ME!!!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!" she practically continued. "How many times do I have to humiliate myself in public before you like me?"

 

How about now? Are people talking about me now? I'm practically committing statutory rape here, people!

 

How about now?

Now?

 

Oh my gosh, quit looking at my big butt! 

 

I'm serious, you guys! Quit looking at my butt!

 

Seriously, stop! Heeheeeheeeheee!

 

Hooray! I'm Famous!

Someone Just Said Something Dumber Than George Will

George Will is not off the hook, because this someone was Kim Kardashian, exhibit A in the case of Eevrything That is Wrong With Modern American Society. George is supposed to be intelligent. We almost expect an empty bikini like Kim Kardashian to say smothing like this:

"I hate when women wear the wrong foundation colour, it might be the worst thing on the planet when they wear their make up too light," she says

.

Famine, disease and warfare might also contend for the title of "worst thing on the planet," but yeah, the smart money's on women wearing the wrong foundation. Great going, Ray-J's urinal! Way to identify the big problems facing the planet.

All About My Work

Kim Kardshian and Reggie Bush are back together!

Why should you care?

You shouldn't.

But it gives me an excuse to post this , wherein Kim explains the source of their past relationship problems:

Kim and boyfriend Reggie Bush, split in July but are now back together and working on their issues. "Before, I was strictly all about my work," Kim admits.

Her "work"!
Work!!!!
She was all about her work!

Someone please explain to Kim what work is.

Being followed around by cameras is not work.




Dressing like a streetwalker is not work.

Actually being a streetwalker would probably qualify as work, in that you are doing something unpleasant for money, but you actually have less dignity than a streetwalker.

Streetwalkers do what they do out of desperation. You made yourself in to a whore out of what? Boredom? An insatiable lust for unwarranted fame? A burning desire to be well-known without having accomplished a fucking thing?







See, here's an example. See what Reggie is doing here? That's work. It involves effort.

What you're doing here is not work. You are expending no effort. You're only making Reggie's work more difficult.




So Kim, I think it's safe to just go ahead and stop concentrating on your "work" now.

Dating Shows

Reality TV dating shows are, to paraphrase tracy pew, the anus of culture. Or, more accurately, what is expelled from the anus of culture. I always wonder how they get people to participate in these freak shows. I imagine the meeting goes something like this:

Location: a sidewalk in Santa Monica
Participants: The producer of "For the love of Ray J" and some unfortunate skank.

Say, you're an attractive woman with obvious self-esteem issues and no discernable talent. How'd you like to be in a contest?

What kinda contest?

Well, you and several other women will degrade and humiliate yourselves to win the attentions of the kind of man who would want you to degrade and humiliate yourselves.

I don't know. . .

Did I mention that this vile, loathsome man is a famous celebrity?

OOh, what is he famous for?

Pissing on Kim Kardashian.

Where do I sign?

Oh, I should mention that the humiliation and degradation will be taking place on national TV.

Hey, you had me at "pissing!"