Victoria Jackson is funnier than I remembered.

I remember Victoria Jackson taking up space for six years on Saturday Night Live back in the 80's. And i remember her breakthrough starring role in the film Casual Sex? in 1988. I never really thought she was funny. Even when she played "Woman in Church" on the Larry the Cable Guy Christmas special, I didn't see the full breadth of her comedic talent. Then back in March, she showed up on FOX shouting crazy shit like:

My motivation is gone, because he will punish me if I'm successful. That's how you start communism, is just take -- Cuba. Obama wants to be Castro.

And I thought, well she must be joking. Because she can't seriously be blaming Obama for her lack of success, because that would raise the question of who was to blame for the whole 1992 to the present thing.
And she couldn't possibly have been serious when she said:

Well, I've never been involved in politics. 'Cuz it's just neh neh neh, neh neh neh. But all of a sudden it was, it was: Oh, Hillary Clinton is a socialist, she wants to socialize medicine. Well, I'll have to vote against her. And then all of a sudden a communist appears! Out of nowhere! And that's when I started to get involved. So I did research. Uh, black liberation theology, his church, is Marxist. And his professors are Marxist. Redistribute the wealth --

But Hannity was buying it hook, line and sinker. And I thought, my God! she's a cross between Stephen Colbert and Andy Kaufmann!
And now the prank is being stretched to Joaquin Phoenix level.


And people are still falling for it. People actually believe that someone could seriously say:

Now he’s going to kill sick people and old people. Did you know that Cap & Trade will allow the government to regulate how long we take a shower? And that the “New Health Plan”, happy, happy, will allow the government to decide who lives and who dies?”

No one could possibly believe shit like that and still be a functioning member of society. This has to be an elaborate prank, right? She's joking, isn't she? She's performing a caricature of right-wing paranoia, right? Look at her latest missive on some website called "Free Republic."

Victoria Jackson: Down is Up, Unfair is Fair and Ignorance is Bliss

I woke up in the middle of the night and realized the trick.

You see, evil doesn’t just show up. It disguises itself as something nice; so you’ll let it in. It tricks you.

Murdering babies is called Pro-Choice. Unfair Censorship is called The Fairness Doctrine. Outlandish Taxes and the Death of Freedom is called Cap & Trade. Sounds like Fish & Chips. You gotta figure out the trick.

See, there's no way that could be serious. Even Ms. Jackson has got to know that the "Fairness Doctrine" was abolished by the Reagen administration, that no one is talking about bringing it back, and that it was the furthest thing from censorship. Also, she's gotta know that Cap and Trade sounds nothing like Fish & Chips. I mean, she's not deaf.

I’d been wondering why the liberals are so passionate about this Health Care thing. It couldn’t be because they actually care about sick, poor people. If they did, they would visit hospitals, and give ten percent of their gross salaries to Compassion International and World Vision

See, nobody could really think that visiting hospitals would be as helpful to sick people as having decent healthcare. And I'm sure she must know that Compassion International doesn't do healthcare. Here's what they do:

			Compassion's Holistic Child Development Model Our programs equip children to become independent Christian adults.

So giving money to them wouldn't have any effect on sick Americans.

No, there’s gotta be a catch. I guess this question was sitting in my brain and during my sleep, my brain was working on it, because when I suddenly awoke at 3 a.m. I had the answer.

Euthanasia!

Social Security and Medicare are broke. Baby boomers, like me, are getting old and will soon be asking for it. Socialized medicine makes people die.

Right, which is why all those European countries with Socialized medicine have longer life expectancies and lower infant mortality rates that we do.

Hitler did this. He killed the weak, the sick, the old, and babies and races/religions he didn’t like. Hitler also controlled the media. (Where’s the public debate between scientists on “Climate Change/Global Warming?”)

Hey, yeah! And where's the debate on this so-called theory of "gravity", hmm?

So… kill off the weak. That’s the plan. Tax the workers to death. Erase the middle class. Sounds like the evil governments we studied in high school long ago. The evil governments were : kings, oligarchies, facist, socialist, and communist. Now it’s called the Obama Administration. Sounds like candy or a rock band.

Mmmmmm, what a delicious treat! Let's name this candy "Obama Administration!" It's sure to be a big seller! Oh, wait, ther's already a rock band using that name. I smell a commercial tie-in!

You know, I’ve been speaking at Tea Parties lately. No one seems to know or care that our country just turned Socialist.

I have to admit, I also don't know things that aren't true. I really should pay closer attention to current non-events.

A Few Stray Thoughts About Sarah Palin

Something is seriously wrong with this woman. Besides the obvious. Besides the fact that she is an under-informed, unintelligent airhead who has always gotten by on looks and charm. Something is seriously wrong. Because I think she really believes a lot of what she says. When she says that, for instance, Katie Couric asking her the same kinds of questions asked of every candidate is unfair "gotcha" journalism. I think she believes it.
When she says that the ethics complaints lodged against her are frivolous and the "politics of personal destruction," I think she believes it. And when she says she quit her job as governor to answer a "higher calling" I think she might even believe that.

I think the scariest thing about Sarah Palin is that she seems to think that everyone is out to get her and that she's always being treated unfairly, and poor little me, waah waah waah! At least two of the ethics complaints lodged against her stood up. She had to pay back some money that she used to bring her children along on business trips, and the ethics comittee did find that she abused her position in the "troopergate" mess. But Palin claims with a straight face that she has been cleared of all ethics charges and that they were all just frivolous attacks on her.


She seems to truly believe that she is being held to an unfair double standard. This is what she posted on Facebook re: her resignation:

"How sad that Washington and the media will never understand; it's about country. . . And though it's honorable for countless others to leave their positions for a higher calling and without finishing a term, of course we know by now, for some reason a different standard applies for the decisions I make."

In an interview with the Anchorage Daily News, she stated:

"With Sean in the governor's seat, it won't be the politics of personal destruction,
I don't believe,"

Which would seem to indicate that she thinks that "they" were after her personally, and won't go after the new governor because he isn't her. That seems like paranoia.




And when she says things like this:

"I said before ... 'You know, politically speaking, if I die, I die. So be it. . .I'm not going to take the comfortable path. I'm going to take the right path for the state,"

And:

". . . my family and I determined after prayerful consideration that sacrificing my title helps Alaska most,''

I can't tell if she really believes that she is "sacrificing" for the benefit of Alaska, or if she just thinks that the people who are reading her posts are gullible enough to believe it.

She sounds like she has a martyr complex. I imagine Todd trying to dissuade her from quitting, and Sarah shouting "Get thee behind me, Satan!"

She is still talking about running for president in 2012, and here's what she sees as one advantage of the Presidency:

"I think on a national level, your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out."

Of course, there is no such thing as the "Department of Law," but putting that aside, in this one sentence she a) refers to herself as "we" [which she apparently does a lot] b) restates her belief that the charges against her are all frivolous personal attacks, and c) shows her complete ignorance of the workings of the Federal Government.

Geez, there's so much more. She tells baldfaced, easily verifiable lies (bridge to nowhere, Alaskan Independence Party). She can't even keep her story straight about why she's quitting. Just in her Facebook explanation, she starts out saying it's "about country," then says that it's what's best for Alaska, then that it's for her family, and that she's answering a "higher calling."

And for someone who is supposedly quitting to answer a higher calling, this is a strange thing to say:

"I can't predict the next fish run much less what's going to happen in a few years," she told the Daily News. "I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to keep working hard for Alaska."

If you're going to have delusions of grandeur, they should probably be more specific. If you're going to claim to have heard a higher calling, shouldn't you know what that calling is? You can't just say "all options are on the table" and "I don't know what doors will be open or closed by then. We can't predict the next fish run, much less what's going to happen in 2012." And claim that you're answering some higher calling.

Apparently, a lot of folks are speculating that Ms. Palin is afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/archive/236/blog/w/sybil_adelman_sage/diagnosing_sarah_palin_9582.html

It could just be that she's both stupid and crazy, a condition which I believe the DSM III refers to as "Stuzy"

Yes, that's it. Sarah Palin is stuzy. Feel free to drop that word into conversation.