Showing posts with label Victoria Jackson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Victoria Jackson. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Fun With Victoria Jackson






When I first found out about Victoria Jackson's political ravings, I thought for sure it was some sort of extended joke.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Victoria Jackson is funnier than I remembered.



But the joke is still going on. So maybe she's serious?

After the election, I found out she has a Twitter. I signed up to follow her, thinking it would be funny. Which it kinda is, but mostly just sad.

Because she tweets things like this:


White people (statistically) don't have more children than they can take care of without outside assistance. It's called RESPONSIBILITY.

Wow!

I do give her credit for not prefacing this with the obligatory "I'm not a racist, but. . ." If you're going to be a racist douche, at least own it!


Better to SECEDE than have a civil war. 

Um, secession and civil war are kinda like love and marriage. 
You can't have one without the oooooo-therrrr!!!

Ooh, here's a good one:

Repeal Obamacare. It is killing jobs in this country. Thousands have already lost their jobs because of it. I signed

Yeah, the policies which have yet to take effect are totally killing jobs! Unless you believe like, numbers and stuff.




 
Very clear chart showing why Socialism/Communism is EVIL
View photo  

I haven't even looked at the chart yet. I just love the idea of evil being something that can be quantified and expressed in chart form!






And of course, she's huge on secession!


Peacefully grant the State of Minnesota to withdraw from the United States of America & create its own NEW government.

You do know Minnesota's a "blue state," right? 

 

Why would they even want to secede, when the guy they voted for won?

 
Peacefully grant the State of Tennessee to withdraw from the United States of America & create its own NEW government.
Expand 
I VOTE FOR SECESSION
View summary



I VOTE FOR SECESSION
View summary 




I really don't understand what the point of these secession petitions is supposed to be. Do they think that if they get enough signatures, the White House is going to say ""oh, sure go on ahead and secede., if that's what you really want?" Or that President Obama is going to say "oh, gee, I didn't realize you folks felt that strongly about all this. Well, sure, then Mitt Romney can be president."
Or maybe they think that once their petitions are deservedly scoffed at, they can go get Cletus and Jimbo down 't the gun club an' start overthrowin' the guvmint?







And of course, being a teabagger douchenozzle, she is, shall we say, a fair-weather patriot?


I'm proud to be a Red-State American, but I'm not proud to be an "American." I'm ashamed of 50% of my people.


And which "Red-State" does Ms Jackson call home?

FLORIDA!

 

 Why, Florida, what an unusual shade of red you're wearing for the last few elections!

 Today, she tweeted a link to an article she wrote for her asinine website:



I Have No Money by Victoria Jackson

So I made the mistake of looking at it.

I Have No Money


Posted by on November 14, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Because I am terrible at being a comic and worse at being an actress.

Okay, I added that last part.

I don’t vote R to protect my money. I have no money. And, I don’t have health insurance, I can’t afford it, but I’m still against Obamacare. Why? Because it’s about the good of the whole, not about me.

So, follow that logic. She's right-wing Republican because she's putting the greater good above her personal needs? That's like being so impressed by the Dalai Lama that you convert to Catholicism.
Covering all the bases.

So she's gotta be joking, right? There's no way that could make any sense to anyone.

Libs can’t get that. They pretend they care for the poor, but their policies have made the poor poorer.

Do you want to know what the article is that she links to to show that liberal policies have hurt the poor? Here's the title:


See, she can't be serious. No one would possibly think that this article supports her point.

Socialism makes more people poor. Capitalism makes more people rich.
The article she links to here is on something called the American Clarion, which offers this trenchant analysis of the British healthcare system:

Having lived under that system for three years, I can tell you: it blows huge, steamy chunks.
Socialism makes more people poor. Capitalism makes more people rich. It’s just an economical fact.

The "economical fact" link? An anonymous letter to the editor in which someone recounts the awfulness of living in the Communist dictatorship of the USSR. 
Among the horrors:
There was no welfare for that family because the fathers of socialism Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels decreed, "If you do not work, you do not eat."
Which is a: pretty much the opposite of the "punish the successful, reward the lazy" steretype conservatives always have of socialism, and b: sounds sort of familiar somehow. Where have I heard that before?

2 Thessalonians 3:10

  For even when we were with you, we commanded you this:If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. 


Oh, right! That raging communist, Saint Paul!

Teabaggers dream of living in a country where there is no welfare for those who do not work. Sounds like the Soviet Union was right up their alley!

Countries that use a lot of energy are able to protect their “environment” more than countries that have no energy. Fact.

Fact! I see someone attended the Dwight Schrute school of rhetorical forensics!
Wanna know what the "Fact" link goes to? The Green Dragon website!

Remember  the Green Dragon?

Monday, November 29, 2010

Well This is Insane


The website that makes the totally-not-silly claim that environmentalism is a tool of the Anti-Christ/UN/One World Government cabal to destroy all that is good or something. That is the source of this particular "Fact!"

Anyways, it goes on and on, and I'm just too tired to keep reading, but you get the idea. I really really can't believe that there is any way Victoria Jackson is serious about any of this. I would never have guessed that she was this good a comedian, but I can't believe that she could possibly be this crazy and stupid and still function.


CrazyladyWM
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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Victoria Jackson is funnier than I remembered.


I remember Victoria Jackson taking up space for six years on Saturday Night Live back in the 80's. And i remember her breakthrough starring role in the film Casual Sex? in 1988. I never really thought she was funny. Even when she played "Woman in Church" on the Larry the Cable Guy Christmas special, I didn't see the full breadth of her comedic talent. Then back in March, she showed up on FOX shouting crazy shit like:

My motivation is gone, because he will punish me if I'm successful. That's how you start communism, is just take -- Cuba. Obama wants to be Castro.

And I thought, well she must be joking. Because she can't seriously be blaming Obama for her lack of success, because that would raise the question of who was to blame for the whole 1992 to the present thing.
And she couldn't possibly have been serious when she said:

Well, I've never been involved in politics. 'Cuz it's just neh neh neh, neh neh neh. But all of a sudden it was, it was: Oh, Hillary Clinton is a socialist, she wants to socialize medicine. Well, I'll have to vote against her. And then all of a sudden a communist appears! Out of nowhere! And that's when I started to get involved. So I did research. Uh, black liberation theology, his church, is Marxist. And his professors are Marxist. Redistribute the wealth --

But Hannity was buying it hook, line and sinker. And I thought, my God! she's a cross between Stephen Colbert and Andy Kaufmann!
And now the prank is being stretched to Joaquin Phoenix level.


And people are still falling for it. People actually believe that someone could seriously say:

Now he’s going to kill sick people and old people. Did you know that Cap & Trade will allow the government to regulate how long we take a shower? And that the “New Health Plan”, happy, happy, will allow the government to decide who lives and who dies?”

No one could possibly believe shit like that and still be a functioning member of society. This has to be an elaborate prank, right? She's joking, isn't she? She's performing a caricature of right-wing paranoia, right? Look at her latest missive on some website called "Free Republic."

I woke up in the middle of the night and realized the trick.

You see, evil doesn’t just show up. It disguises itself as something nice; so you’ll let it in. It tricks you.

Murdering babies is called Pro-Choice. Unfair Censorship is called The Fairness Doctrine. Outlandish Taxes and the Death of Freedom is called Cap & Trade. Sounds like Fish & Chips. You gotta figure out the trick.

See, there's no way that could be serious. Even Ms. Jackson has got to know that the "Fairness Doctrine" was abolished by the Reagen administration, that no one is talking about bringing it back, and that it was the furthest thing from censorship. Also, she's gotta know that Cap and Trade sounds nothing like Fish & Chips. I mean, she's not deaf.



I’d been wondering why the liberals are so passionate about this Health Care thing. It couldn’t be because they actually care about sick, poor people. If they did, they would visit hospitals, and give ten percent of their gross salaries to Compassion International and World Vision

See, nobody could really think that visiting hospitals would be as helpful to sick people as having decent healthcare. And I'm sure she must know that Compassion International doesn't do healthcare. Here's what they do:

Compassion's Holistic Child Development Model
Learn about our Holistic Child Development Model

Compassion's Holistic Child Development Model

Our programs equip children to become independent Christian adults.



So giving money to them wouldn't have any effect on sick Americans.

No, there’s gotta be a catch. I guess this question was sitting in my brain and during my sleep, my brain was working on it, because when I suddenly awoke at 3 a.m. I had the answer.

Euthanasia!

Social Security and Medicare are broke. Baby boomers, like me, are getting old and will soon be asking for it. Socialized medicine makes people die.

Right, which is why all those European countries with Socialized medicine have longer life expectancies and lower infant mortality rates that we do.

Hitler did this. He killed the weak, the sick, the old, and babies and races/religions he didn’t like. Hitler also controlled the media. (Where’s the public debate between scientists on “Climate Change/Global Warming?”)

Hey, yeah! And where's the debate on this so-called theory of "gravity", hmm?

So… kill off the weak. That’s the plan. Tax the workers to death. Erase the middle class. Sounds like the evil governments we studied in high school long ago. The evil governments were : kings, oligarchies, facist, socialist, and communist. Now it’s called the Obama Administration. Sounds like candy or a rock band.

Mmmmmm, what a delicious treat! Let's name this candy "Obama Administration!" It's sure to be a big seller! Oh, wait, ther's already a rock band using that name. I smell a commercial tie-in!

You know, I’ve been speaking at Tea Parties lately. No one seems to know or care that our country just turned Socialist.

I have to admit, I also don't know things that aren't true. I really should pay closer attention to current non-events.



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