Random Thoughts interspersed with kitten gifs

1. You know how conservatives just hate hate HATE the elitist snobs with their fancy college defrees and their lattes and what-not? And how conservatives only care about the regular salt-of-the-earth Joe six-pack ordinary plain ol' folks? And how they hate career politicians and love political outsiders? Like every Republican campaign ad tars their opponent as a "lifelong inside-the beltway insider" and touts himself as the jus' plain folks "outsider" who is obviously the better choice because he ain't fancy and has never been in politics before? You know how they do that?


Well then along comes Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and suddenly they're all Dowager Countersses, looking down their noses and harumphing "why she's nothing but a bartender, a common bartender! A tender of bars has the insolence to suppose that she should take a seat in the august body that has been home to the noble likes of Louis Gohmert, Michele Bachmann, and Smoky Joe Barton? Well I never!"

Like here is one Twitter wag's reaction to OAC's disinterest in debating professional shitposter Ben Shapiro:

I’m shocked a bartender from Queens doesn’t want to debate a Harvard law graduate.

— Bethany S. Mandel (@bethanyshondark) August 10, 2018

And I can't tell you how many times I've seen some version of "hell, she was a bartender just a year ago," as if that is somehow disqualifying to people who voted a syphilitic game show host into the Oval Office. Somehow lack of governmental experience is seen as a plus for tRump or Herman Cain or Ross Perot or Arnold Schwartzenneger, all of whom ran for top executive offices, but for AOC, running for an actual entry-level position, it's completely invalidating. (Also, these were the same people who complained that Barack Obama was "inexperienced," then turned around and voted for il Douche.)



via GIPHY

2. Hey, NPR.
I know you're super committed to the whole "balance" thing, but sometimes it's okay to just present one side. Let me give you an example. Let's say you have a representative of Black Lives Matter on your network. You don't need to balance him out. If you really really feel the need for the phony both-sides garbage, you could maybe have someone on to give some bullshit defense of trigger-happy cops, maybe explaining why these brave men and women suddenly get to be in fear for their lives every time they see a black kid who might possibly have some sort of bulge in his pocket. You could do that if you really felt the need.
But here's what you don't do. When you have someone on to say that black lives matter, you don't, seriously don't, "balance" him out by having someone else come on and say "no they don't."

NPR interviewed the racist behind ‘Unite the Right 2’ and it was a disaster

Two days ahead of what is expected to be a small white supremacist rally in Washington, D.C., NPR gave rally organizer Jason Kessler a national platform to peddle junk “race science.”
After the nearly 7-minute interview ended, NPR transitioned to an interview with a Black Lives Matter activist, a setup implying that white supremacists and people advocating for racial justice are two sides of the same coin.(via: Think Progress)

3.

Bethenny Frankel's ex-boyfriend Dennis Shields dies of a supposed overdose in Trump Tower

If someone pseudo-quasi-famous had died in an apartment building owned by a Clinton, Republicans would have already appointed a special prosecuter.

4. Can everybody please please please stop giving a shit about Omarosa's book?
And whether or not she has tapes?
If she has tapes of tRump that somehow could cause him to lose support and she sat on them all this time while GOING TO WORK FOR HIM and going on TV to proclaim that everyone would have to bow down to President Cartman, she should be tarred and feathered and rode out of town on the same rail as Donald, his family, and every member of his administration.
Besides, what good could this possibly do? What could he have possibly said on those tapes that would hurt him politically? The N word? His base would love that! Foul filthy comments about the female contestants on his show? If the Access Hollywood tape didn't hurt him, what worse thing could he possibly have said.
Unless you have him on tape saying "I don't really believe this racist shit, I just say it to rile up the rubes," or maybe saying something positive about Mexicans, nothing he could say could possibly dissuade his base from supporting the guy they've decided to make their god-emperor. (not even joking: https://www.facebook.com/godemperortrumpofficial/)

5. What is Space Force?
I mean, I know it's nothing, but what exactly is the plan supposed to be?
'Cuz if it was like Reagan's Star Wars plan, at least there was some logic to that. It didn't work, bnut at least there would be some value in having satellites that could shoot down Russian missles. But I'm pretty sure that's not what this is. They're acting like this is going to be a new branch of the military, so that would mean actual troops flying around in X-wing fighters, battling Klingons or something? Has anyone actually heard any details of the plan? Has their been any public statement about what the space force would entail? Because absent any evidence to the contrary, I gotta think that the Dotard is picturing himself as Bill Pullman in Independence Day.

Probably it's just a mechanism for funneling taxpayer money into the coffers of Haliburton or Bechtel of Northrup - Gruman or whoever books the conference room at Mar A Lago first.

A brief hiatus with kittens

We will be offline for a few days while we head West to inspect our operations in the Pacific Northwest. There should be fairly frequent Twitter updates here: https://twitter.com/@akaprofessorcha if you miss the smart-aleckry.

Meanwhile, here are kittens:

Insane Laws Interspersed With Adorable Kittens

It's possible that some state Republicans are seeing the writing on the wall, realizing that they are fast becoming a permanent minority party and there's only so long you can keep Gerrymandering your way out of irrelevance. So, while they still have power, they're pulling out all the stops and putting the pedal to the metal towards Crazytown while they still have the chance. Here are a few of their more insane recent proposals, interspersed with adorable kittens to keep your heads from exploding.

 

You're welcome, humans!

First up, Montana crazy person Gary Marbut has proposed a "Sheriffs First" bill that would, in defiance of the Constitution, years of legal precedent and common sense, give local Sheriffs supremacy over Federal Law enforcement officers. Not only would FBI, ATF or Federal Marshalls have to get permission from the local yokel sheriff before arresting anyone, if they failed to do so the ensuing arrest would be considered kidnapping and the Federal agent could be arrested and charged.

Hey, who do you trust more?

Montana Bill Would Let Sheriffs Arrest FBI Agents for Arresting People

If Montana voters approve Gary Marbut's referendum in November 2014, any FBI agent who tries to arrest a Montanan for a federal crime could be arrested—and charged with kidnapping.

Marbut's "Sheriffs First" bill, which cleared a Montana state Senate committee last week, makes it a crime for a federal agent to take any law-enforcement steps without first getting permission from the county sheriff.

This might sound like the sort of whack-a-doo idea that would have no chance of passing, but. . .

The proposal already passed both houses of the Legislature once, in 2011, but was vetoed by then-Gov. Brian Schweitzer, a Democrat.

In Missouri, nutbag legislator Mike Leara has proposed a law which would make proposing a law against the law. Sounds complicated, but it isn't. In fact, the entire bill is only one sentence:

578.460. Any member of the general assembly who proposes a piece of legislation that further restricts the right of an individual to bear arms, as set forth under the second amendment of the Constitution of the United States, shall be guilty of a class D felony.

So if any member of the Missouri legislature were to propose, say, limiting magazine size or keeping assault weapons out of the hands of criminals, that legislator would himself become a criminal, but would probably still be able to own a small arsenal, because FREEDOMMMMMMMM!!!!!

I'm not sure what the legal theory is behind this, what interpretation of what law makes this lunatic think this law would stand up to the slightest legal scrutiny, but I think it's probably based on the legal precedent of Because I Want To v. Fuck You.




Not to be outdone, ironically named South Carolina State Senator Lee Bright has proposed a bill that would have high schools teach classes about guns.

I'm pretty sure this is not him, but Google image search seems to think she is.

 



Bright says he got the idea after hearing from older constituents who “remembered the days” when students could join a rifle team or learn about shooting during a school day. “We’ve got football, we’ve got basketball, and we’ve got baseball,” says Bright. “I think if they had a hunting team, it would be a great idea.

If there's any substantive difference between a basketball and a loaded rifle, I have yet to see it!












And then, of course, there's Kansas.

Kansas, where they want to pass a law requiring teachers to lie to their students.

Bill asks teachers to question climate change in class

HB2306 calls climate change 'scientific controversy'

House Bill 2306, introduced last week, says science classes must “provide information to students of scientific evidence which both supports and counters a scientific theory or hypothesis.”

Like gravity, or the Earth being round.

The bill says instruction about “scientific controversies” should be objective and include “both the strengths and weaknesses of such scientific theory or hypothesis.” The only controversy identified in the bill is “climate science.”

Because only 97% of scientist agree about global warming. That's hardly a consensus! Obviously both sides should get their viewpoints aired. Both the scientists funded by Exxon-Mobil and those funded by the Koch Brothers!





Well, that's enough for one night. I'm sure there are many more CRAAAAAAAZY laws being proposed by Republicans throughout this great land. There are damn sure more adorable kittens!

Maybe we can share Caturday?

Does Caturday have room for one adorable puppy?


(Via Cute Overload)

Meet The Newest Additions to Team Chaos

 

Sunday afternoon, two kittens dropped by and decided to take up residence on our back deck. They had no collars, so we thought they might be strays and we gave them food and water and played with them. Soon, they had proven their mettle and we invited them to become permanent members of Team Chaos. Naturally, they accepted eagerly.

Well, as it turns out, they already had humans, the couple who just moved in across the street.

IMG_20120909_182701.jpg, a photo by spudboy67 on Flickr.

But they still wanted to be part-time Team Chaos members.

This is Guiseppe. We did not give him that name, he came with it. We'll have to come up with a really cool code name for him.

The Tabby is Zizou, named for French soccer star Zinedine Zidane. He probably doesn't need a code name, 'cuz that's already pretty cool.

Zizou is definitely the Alpha brother.

And the more active.

Whereas Guiseppe is more apt to sit still long enough to have his photo taken.
This may prove to be a liability if he is sent deep undercover. We'll work on it.

Zizou is never still for long, he's always exploring his surroundings, looking for something to chase. He should become a skilled assassin.

They may look harmless, but I assure you, they are preparing to spread Chaos throughout Northwest Atlanta.

Adorable Ocelot Kittens try to figure out what Rick Santorum was trying to call Barack Obama

A Knicks fan?

 
A Nicaraguan?



A Nicotine addict?


A  Niçoise salad?

 

A Nick-at-Nite watching, Nickelback listening, Nicholas Cage watching. . . oh, hell. You know what he meant. 

Ask an Adorable Kitten

You could spend hours weighing the pros and cons of showing the bin Laden death photos. You could debate the ethical considerations or the foreign policy implications. Or you could just ask an adorable kitten.

You know how I know that showing bin Laden's picture is a bad idea?

Because Sarah Palin thinks it's a good idea.

 

 

And what the hell do my feet have to do with anything?

You think these paws are afraid of offending anyone?

Bin Laden's just lucky he didn't come face to face with these claws!

 

Seriously, though, it's a pretty good rule of thumb. If Sarah Palin thinks it's a good idea, it's probably a bad idea. If Sarah Palin says to you, "hey let's go try that new pizzeria that just opened around the corner," do not eat there.

You can rest assured that it will taste bad and you'll get food poisoning 

and have to take horrible medicine.

 

And if she says "yellow is definitely your color," you'd better believe you're going to look ridiculous in that yellow sweater she knitted for you.

And if she's helping you look for an apartment and she says "this seems like a good neighborhood," run. It's probably full of monsters!

Adorable Kittens Discuss Jan Brewer

Brewer's Teleprompter Fails

Brewer Has Another Lengthy Pause During Speech: MyFoxPHOENIX.com

 

But I thought Obama was the only person who ever used a teleprompter!

Now the Obama-teleprompter jokes don't make any sense!

 

According to Princess Sparkle Pony, Brewer got snubbed by Sarah Palin

Did Sarah Palin Snub Jan Brewer? [UPDATED]

By now, Jan Brewer is back in Arizona. I'm assuming there was a massive ticker-tape parade upon her return. But what happened to her plans to meet with the Sarah Palin? Granted, the news reports which mentioned the scheduled meeting were a little hazy, and Brewer herself never said she was going to meet with Palin,  but as far as I can tell, it didn't happen.

UPDATE: Interesting that in a blog post at the Arizona Republic about Sarah Palin's choice of Arizona as a possible base for her campaign,  there is the following vagueness:

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, who spent the weekend vacationing in Alaska, said she didn't have any conversations with Palin about a possible Senate run while she was in town and that the topic never came up.

Note that the statements above imply that Brewer talked to Palin this weekend without actually stating it. If Brewer didn't meet Palin, the above statements would still be true. Clever! I still find it impossible to believe a Palin/Brewer meeting without photo-ops. 

 

What could be more pathetic than a sitting governor schlepping all the way to Alaska 

to kiss Sarah Palin's ring?

 

Getting all the way up there and then getting stiffed by Airhead McSimpleton!

 

Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee!!!!

 

Apropos of nothing, Jan Brewer reminds me of a lady that you would visit in a rest home, then leave shaking your head whispering "she used to be so sharp."

 Except, Jan was never really that sharp. Remember This fiasco?

Ask Adorable Kittens

What's the craziest part of Mike Huckabee's recent "Obamba in Kenya"  remarks?

HUCKABEE: I would love to know more. What I know is troubling enough. And one thing that I do know is his having grown up in Kenya, his view of the Brits, for example, very different than the average American. When he gave the bust back to the Brits --
MALZBERG: Of Winston Churchill.
HUCKABEE: The bust of Winston Churchill, a great insult to the British. But then if you think about it, his perspective as growing up in Kenya with a Kenyan father and grandfather, their view of the Mau Mau Revolution in Kenya is very different than ours because he probably grew up hearing that the British were a bunch of imperialists who persecuted his grandfather. 

Let's ask adorable kittens!

 

Hmm? Sorry, I fell asleep halfway through!

 

I think that the craziest part is that Huckabee seems to think that you have to be Kenyan to be offended by British imperialism!

 

Oh, I concur! He seems to be implying that we Americans could not possibly see the British as

"A bunch of  imperialists." 

 

Oy, Watch what you say there, mate! You're treading on some bloody thin ice, there. You're just lucky me human is holding me back!

 

Hey, what's all the racket up there?

 

Seriously, you're ruining the mood!