What are conservatives outraged about today?

You know, it must be exhausting being a rightie. Having to scour the news and pop culture media searching trying to find something - anything - that you can use to gin up each day's poutrage. Then having to work yourself up into a lather over it. And to keep having to do this over and over, day after day. It must be absolutely draining!

So, what has the right foaming at the mouth today?

Couple things.

First there was a razor commercial.
I know what you're thinking "did this commercial show a gay person shaving?" No. Well, maybe. I don't know who's gay and who isn't. What this ad did was ask men to not let other men get away with being assholes.

“Boys will be boys”? Isn’t it time we stopped excusing bad behavior? Re-think and take action by joining us at https://t.co/giHuGDEvlT. #TheBestMenCanBe pic.twitter.com/hhBL1XjFVo

— Gillette (@Gillette) January 14, 2019

aSo who could be upset about that? Well, pretty much everyone who makes a living being an asshole on TV or online. Like Piers Morgan, for one.

I've used @Gillette razors my entire adult life but this absurd virtue-signalling PC guff may drive me away to a company less eager to fuel the current pathetic global assault on masculinity.
Let boys be damn boys.
Let men be damn men. https://t.co/Hm66OD5lA4

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) January 14, 2019

I know. My eyes still hurt from how hard they involuntarily rolled.

Anyway, Piers was the first one I saw taking umbrage at an ad that says "hey, you know, maybe we could do a little better," but not the last. And for some reason, a lot of the umbrage-takers siezed on D-day as a really terrible analogy.

#boyswillbeboys #TheBestMenCanBe

You will never find a woman in pictures like this. Be better, women. Fight on the front lines and put in 80 hour work weeks. pic.twitter.com/jjj5j3lgvb

— Cartman (@EricCartmenezzz) January 15, 2019

The reason we have the freedoms we enjoy today is because of brave masculine men going beyond the call of duty.#TheBestMenCanBe pic.twitter.com/uQdASHISBg

— Katsumoto (@katsumoto) January 15, 2019

Which makes sense, because when I think of the courage, the valor, the heroism of the Allied troops who stormed the beaches on D-Day, sacrificing life and limb to rid the world of the scourge of Naziism, I think "that's the kind of bravery and mettle that it takes for a man to yell 'shake it, don't break it' at women on the street."

Although, if you're going to use D-day as an analogy, the men in the video who are most not unlike the Allied troops are the ones stopping their friends from harassing women, or chasing the bullies away from the kid they're attacking. They're the ones who are stepping up to right a wrong. Everyone who is upset about this ad. . . you're the Nazis in this analogy.  Great job not understanding fucking anything.



So what else has the right's knickers in a twist?

Apparently, they have found a way to be offended by someone referring to an anti-abortion rally as . . . "anti-abortion."

No, really.

Also known as a Pro-Life event 🙄 https://t.co/bANNR8NvOB

— Alyssa Farah (@Alyssafarah) January 14, 2019

The "pro-life" movement is literally a movement dedicating to ending the practice of abortion. This is their entire raison d'etre. They oppose abortion. Yet somehow, referring to them as "anti-abortion," is offensive to them? As if it's some sort of disingenuous use of language? To point out the one thing they all oppose?

And it's not only this hack who is Pence's spokesperson or something, but other "pro-lifers" as well.

looking forward to the press covering the pro-abortion fundraiser. I mean, at least that would keep the terms consistent.

— christianmorgan (@cmorganMO) January 15, 2019

looking forward to the press covering the pro-abortion fundraiser. I mean, at least that would keep the terms consistent.

— christianmorgan (@cmorganMO) January 15, 2019

No media bias. Nothing to see here

— Doug Stafford (@dougstafford) January 15, 2019

It’s alright, the next time the Dems propose a tax, I’m sure media outlets will report it as “Democrats propose to steal more money from Americans”

— Bennyboi (@getiinbig) January 15, 2019

Myself and a few other people tried to get someone on this thread to explain what it was that they were upset about. No response.
I assume they don't actually know why they're offended, they just know that they are. They have to be. They NEED to be. They absolutley can not survive without their daily dosage of self-righteous indignation and being in the highest of dudgeons.


And of course, because rule number one for Conservatives remains that no conservative will ever argue anything honestly, she followed up with this nugget:

Honestly, I’m just glad the media is even covering @March_for_Life

— Alyssa Farah (@Alyssafarah) January 14, 2019

Because of course she has to pretend that the annual March-For-Life-But-Not-anti-Abortion-Just-Want-To-Outlaw-Abortion is usually ignored in the media. A quick Google search shows that this is not exactly completely accurate.

Trump's speech to March for Life marks a U-turn on abortion

By LORRAINE WOELLERT

 

01/17/2018 01:35 PM EST

 

Updated 01/18/2018 12:37 PM EST

'You Love Every Child': President Trump Addresses March For Life

se

January 19, 20184:53 AM ET

Anti-abortion bill passes the House ahead of 'March for Life'

By Daniella Diaz, CNN

Updated 3:24 PM ET, Fri January 19, 2018

Associated Press

Published on Jan 19, 2018

SUBSCRIBE 921K

Anti-abortion activists and protesters carried posters and shouted slogans in support for the unborn on Friday, when they descended on the nation's capital from various parts of the country for the annual March for Life rally. (Jan. 19) Subscribe for more Breaking News: http://smarturl.it/AssociatedPress Get updates and more Breaking News here: http://smarturl.it/APBreakingNews The Associated Press is the essential global news network, delivering fast, unbiased news from every corner of the world to all media platforms and formats. AP’s commitment to independent, comprehensive journalism has deep roots. Founded in 1846, AP has covered all the major news events of the past 165 years, providing high-quality, informed reporting of everything from wars and elections to championship games and royal weddings. AP is the largest and most trusted source of independent news and information. Today, AP employs the latest technology to collect and distribute content - we have daily uploads covering the latest and breaking news in the world of politics, sport and entertainment. Join us in a conversation about world events, the newsgathering process or whatever aspect of the news universe you find interesting or important. Subscribe: http://smarturl.it/AssociatedPress http://www.ap.org/ https://plus.google.com/+AP/ https://www.facebook.com/APNews https://twitter.com/AP

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Live stream: Trump makes historic speech at March for Life 2018

USA TODAYPublished 10:34 a.m. ET Jan. 19, 2018 | Updated 12:53 p.m. ET Jan. 19, 2018

That's just from last year's march. But of course, no one who's following Mike Pence's press secretary on Twitter is going to do the 30 seconds of research required to find this out. Because if they did, they might lose out on some grade A outrage.

And Cue Phony Right-Wing Outrage in 3. . .2. . .

Michele Bachamnn's loony mug is adorning this week's issue of Newsweek (motto: Yes, they still make newsweek!)

 

Alternate titles: The Face of Catatonia

The Queen of "Hungh?"

The Lunatic is in My Head.

And of course, of course the picture isn't flattering enough for the wingnutosphere. No picture would have been. I mean, granted, it's not the most flattering picture, but A: Try finding a picture of Bachmann in which she doesn't look baboon-ass crazy.  B: Shouldn't you just be glad that a publication is treating her as if she were a person of importance? and C: you don't really need to say anything about it, no one reads Newsweek anymore.

But no. No, instead you get the sadly predictable phony outrage, with headlines like this one in Slate:

Is Newsweek's Michele Bachmann Cover Sexist?  

Or this bit of tortured logic from one of Breitbart's idiotic websites:

When your premise is an unflattering photo (and if you don’t have them you’re a liar or Miranda Kerr) to sell your bias, you just might be a chauvinist.

Or you just might not be a good enough photographer to make Bachmann look like a sane person?

That was written by someone named Dana Loesch, who also crapped out this brain-diamond:

I don’t know about you, but when I want articles on women that read like bitter Summer’s Eve scripts, I turn to Newsweek. Under the editorial control of Tina Brown, the rice paper magazine barely struggles against its bias towards conservative women to view them with anything other than contempt.

Oooh, sorry. You were so close. What you meant to say was "bias against conservative women."

Also, the "Summer's Eve script" reference? I have no idea what that's supposed to mean,nor do I want to. Please, for the love of God, I don't want that line explained.

Then there's some site called "freedom's Lighthouse" that asks the question that everyone is thinking:

Of all the photos of GOP Rep. Michele Bachmann they could have used, this is what Newsweek has chosen to feature on their cover. Notice they call Bachmann,

“The Queen of Rage.”

Can anyone really say with a straight face that the Mainstream Media is not totally biased against conservatives?

You know they didn't have a lot to choose from, right? I mean, which picture of Bachmann would you have preferred?

 

Seriously, do a google search and just see if you can find a picture of Michele Bachmann in which she doesn't look poo-throwing crazy, bag-of-doorknobs stupid, or both.

And after the horrible horrible things the righties have said a bout Hilary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, et al, they really have some balls throwing around charges of sexism.

Stupid, Stupid Parents

Parents angry over Obama speech

Some are outraged by the president's planned address to the nation's students next week

Are you fucking serious? Outraged? Really? How can you be outraged over something that hasn't even happened yet? "I don't know what the president is going to say, but I already know that it will fill me with OUTRAGE!" You want to know what the president is planning on saying?

"I'm going to be making a big speech to young people all across the country about the importance of education; about the importance of staying in school; how we want to improve our education system and why it’s so important for the country. So I hope everybody tunes in."

So, outrage? Really?

"The idea that school children across our nation will be forced to watch the President justify his plans for government-run health care, banks, and automobile companies, increasing taxes on those who create jobs, and racking up more debt than any other President, is not only infuriating, but goes against beliefs of the majority of Americans, while bypassing American parents through an invasive abuse of power," [Florida Republican Party] Chairman Jim Greer said in a press release.

Ok, if that were remotely true, you might have a beef here, but where in the hell would you get the idea that the President is going to justify plans that exist mainly in your imagination to schoolchildren? I mean, do you really think the President is going to waste his time explaining economic policy to children who haven't developed the intellectual capacity to understand them or the maturity to sit and listen to them? That's what next week's joint session of Congress is for. Oh, snap! No he didn't! Hell, yeah I did. Take note, aspiring bloggers, that's how it's done!

Manufactured Outrage

In an apparent attempt to prove that the left can gin up a fake controversy as well as the right, Keith Olberman, the Huffington Post, and others are just OUTRAGED! by this comment from Gov. Rick Perry's spokesman:

Carney said he agreed the Republican Party needed to attract new voters. But, he added, "that doesn't mean you take your principles and throw them out the door and become a whorehouse and let anybody in who wants to come in, regardless."

And since perry's opponent in the primary is the undeniably female Kay Bailey Hutchison, some people are acting as if they really believe that the "whorehouse" reference is a misogynistic shot at Ms. Hutchison.

Hey, Keith. Remember how we all rolled our eyes when Republicans tried to paint Obama's "lipstick on a pig" reference as a sexist jab at Sarah Palin? Remember?
Remember how stupid and desperate and disingenuous they looked? Well, now you're kind of doing the same thing. So quit it!
Now let's speak of this no more.

More Fake Outrage

We touched on the kerfuffle over the Dept. of Homeland Security report on Domestic terror threats (here) but I'd like to go back to that subject, since it fits in with another recent post(here).

The feigned outrage coming from the right over this report is astounding. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Here, for example, is a posting by someone named Warner Todd Huston, at the website "RedState.com"

Alright all you right-wing thugs out there, now that tax day is over, Obama and his pals are saying you are dangerous and that your tax protests are an act of revolution. It is amusing that they’ve never said that with the many riots past and present spread by left-wingers in the US — after all little “right-wing” violence has ever been seen here —
but there you have it. It’s all YOU.

Riiiiiiight, very little "right-wing" violence has been seen in this country. Unless you count the Oklahoma City bombing, The Olympic Park bombing, the "Army of God," the Knoxville church shooting,The Phineas Priesthood's string of bank robberies, the murder of Matthew Shepard, the "order" murdering Alan Berg, Benjamin Nathaniel Smith's 3-day shooting rampage, the Aryan Nations, the World Church of the Creator, various and sundry militia groups, dozens of arsons and bombings at abortion clinics, assorted plots to assassinate Obama, etc.But other than that, no, not really much right-wing violence. Do go on. . . .

And on the heels of that Democrat take over we have seen the frightening abuse of policing powers evinced by Obama’s Department of Homeland Security that has released a so-called threat assessment that seems to assume that every American that holds center right views is dangerous and declaring that nearly half the electorate is prone to “right-wing terrorism.”

Wow, where to begin? You must know damn well that the report says nothing of the kind. Or do you really think that the report's references to "white supremacist and violent anti-government groups" refers to "anyone with center-right views"? You can't be that stupid. Of course you aren't. I see what you're doing here. Trying to make it seem like conservatives are this powerless, oppressed minority being scapegoated by the big, bad democrats, even though this report was commissioned by the Bush Administration, and does not accuse mainstream conservatives of being allied with extremist groups. You're the one who is implying that garden-variety conservatives are akin to these violent fringe groups.

You're counting on the high probability that no one in your audience has actually read the report, which is a pretty safe bet.
Look, the report is only 10 pages long, andi's pretty large type with lots of bullet points (no pun intended). One page is the title and DHS logo, one page is the table of contents, so it's really only 8 pages to read. Look. You can read it right here.

Here is radio talker Laura Ingraham on the O'Reilly show:

we have a Department of Homeland Security issuing reports about right-wing extremism and equating, you know, domestic terrorism with, you know,
the vets coming home from Iraq

No, you know, they certainly do not, you know, equate soldiers with terrorists. What they do say, is that" rightwing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalize returning veterans" (as happened with Tim McVeigh when he returned from the first Gulf War.)

And here's loudmouth buffoon sean Hannity speaking to a "tea party" in Atlanta:

if you have a pro-life bumper sticker on your car, if you have an 'America is overtaxed' bumper sticker, if you have a pro-Second Amendment bumper sticker, they're viewing you potentially as a radical.

"The Homeland Security Department is probably checking the license plates of everybody here."

Oh, good one sean! because these nuts aren't already paranoid enough, now tell them they're being stalked by the DHS! Brilliant! What could possibly go wrong with stoking the fires of misdirected fear and rage?

And here's loonie without portfolio Michelle Malkin:

"[W]hat we're seeing is -- what we've seen with this White House and with the Department of Homeland Security smearing of people who are patriots."

Now, she may actually be pignorant (TM) enough to believe this absurd hogwash, but even she probably knows that this is bullshit. Hell, even a few people at FOX realize this!

Here's an exchange between FOX host Shepard Smith and correspondent Catherine Herridge in which FOX producers forgot to edit out the sanity:

On Studio B, Smith asked Herridge of the report, "Who and what are they talking about here? I mean, this isn't about these -- this isn't about tea party folks." Herridge replied:

No, essentially the driver in these intelligence assessments is the downturn in the economy. What they say essentially is that when people have less money, they're out of work, they feel disenfranchised, this is fertile ground for groups on the left as well as groups on the right.

And you remember from reporting on this show, Shep, that even at the end of last year, prior to the inauguration, the Homeland Security Department under the Bush administration was sounding the alarm about the potential for right-wing groups to act, specifically because of the economy, and also because America was going to have its first African-American president.

Herridge also noted that the DHS report "does talk specifically about returning veterans as being sort of attractive targets for these groups, because they've got the weapons training and they may feel somewhat disenfranchised when they return for a variety of returns." She later added, referring to the reports on left-wing and right-wing extremists, "I would point out that both of these assessments, Shep, were commissioned under the Bush administration. It takes some time to do them. They only came out after he had left office."


So just knock it off with the phony outrage already. Your faux-righteous indignation is not fooling anyone with the sense God gave a mule; but as you know, ther are a lot of people out there who don't have any damn sense and they're your core audience. Why do you need to drive these simpletons even crazier? Don't you know someone is going to get hurt?