The Malkin Machine

If you say to a normal person "President Obama made a speech yesterday at the memorial in Tuscon," a normal person will react something along the lines of: "Let's see what he said. Oh, that was a good point. Hmm, I disagree with that point. That was well said. That could have been phrased better, etc." Or you could just feed the information into the Malkin Machine.

 

 

 

The technology is a little complicated, but it the process is basically this:

 Which is how Michelle Malkin ends up trashing things like the President speaking at a memorial for 6 innocent victims.

Really.

Look:

Branding the Tucson massacre: “Together We Thrive” in white and blue; Updated: Liveblogging the bizarre pep rally; Gov. Brewer booed; in sum: right speech, too late, boneheaded venue (WOOT!)

By Michelle Malkin  •  January 12, 2011 06:21 PM

"Bizarre Pep Rally?" It's actually shocking that she used the words "right speech," thge Malkin Machine must have a slight malfunction. But too late? Should he have given the memorial speech before the people were killed?
Boneheaded venue? Where should he have given it? Somewhere other than the site of the memorial? That would make sense.

President Obama used to preach that there was no “Red America” and no “Blue America,” just one America.
But tonight at the memorial for the Tucson massacre victims, it will be a sea of blue as the White House unveils the “Together We Thrive” logo and slogan.

Granted, "Together We Thrive" is a pretty retarded theme for what is basically a huge funeral, but seriously, you object to the logo being blue?

Of course, there's also this little detail:

Update: As noted above, the University of Arizona announced the Together We Thrive event — and a few readers write in to say that the campus initiated the logo/campaign. 

Hmmmmm. . . the U of A came up with the slogan and the logo. But still, it must somehow be Obama's nefarious doings.

. . . a few readers write in to say that the campus initiated the logo/campaign. Given U of A president Robert Shelton’s embarrassing, thinly-veiled partisan cheerleading for Obama tonight, it may indeed be a 100 percent-campus-initiated campaign. Given the Obama White House’s meticulous attention to stage prop details, however, I would say the odds of involvement by Axelrod/Plouffe & Co. are high. 

Damn, the machine is hitting on all cylinders now! Either Obama is responsible, or the if the University is responsible then Obama is still responsible.

Now, I seem to remember the headline to this "liveblog" thing including the phrase:

Gov. Brewer booed

 And yet, according to your account of the events, this happened:

Gov. Brewer takes the stage to polite applause and pays tribute to the victims. The shooting “pierced our sense of well-being.” Arizona’s hope “will not be shredded by one madman’s act of darkness.”
Brewer brings reverence and sobriety to the event, God bless her: We will go forward “in prayer, unbending and unbowed.”
And immediately, the sobriety is broken by massive whoops and hollers for Janet Napolitano.
Just. Gross.

 (emphasis added by me)

I will agree with Malkin on one point, whoops and hollers for anyone are really unseemly at a memorial service. Just tacky and disrespectful to those who are in mourning. But why lie about Governor Brewer's reception? What the hell is the point of that?

Bottom line:
Speeches and leadership are not the same thing.
Obama delivered one tonight, but failed at the other over the past three days as Pima County Sheriff Dupnik, Democrat Party leaders, and media abettors poisoned the public square with the very vitriol the president now condemns.

See, now that's just being dishonest. What Sheriff Dupnik and others have said, and probably incorrectly in this particular case, is that the steady stream of hate and violent rhetoric from right-wing blowhards like, for instance, Michelle Malkin, can be dangerous in that it can inspire acts of actual violence. That's not vitriol. That is a condemnation of vitriol.

Also, why is it that when barack Obama speaks at a memorial he is politicizing the event, but when Jan Brewer speaks at the same memorial she is " bring[ing] reverence and sobriety to the event"?

Here's Something Interesting I Learned

While writing that last post, I wanted to be sure I had spelled "Merkin" correctly, so I typed it into Yahoo.

And this came up:

Origin of term

According to The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language the term stems from a corruption of the obsolete word malkin, meaning a lower-class woman or mop,

Yes, Malkin means " a lower class woman or mop," and is the basis for the word "merkin."


I'm never going to be able to look at Michelle Malkin the same way again.

Every time I see this:



I'm going to have no choice but to think of this:



And now, neither will you.

You're welcome.

The revolution starts to devour its own.

There have been conservative "revolutions" before.
We've seen "revolutions" based on cutting taxes

and "revolutions" based on cutting welfare

but this teabagger revolution is a whole new breed of nuts.
Previous conservative movements were led by people may have been senile

or morally bankrupt

but they weren't just baboon-ass crazy.



So, it seemed inevitable that the teabagging revolutionaries would start turning on each other like Robespierre on Danton sooner rather than later.

And now it begins. The teabaggers have already begun attacking their erstwhile poster boy Scott Brown. just check out some of these comments from BrownBrigade.com, a website created to promote Brown's candidacy:

A vote for more stimulus? Are you kidding? What a joke!

Sir, you will have a very short career in the Senate!

Brian, you are so right! He is a traitor and it took only 3 weeks to show his true vision of being the "voice of the people". What a shame...

Yes. He has already shown that he is just another pure politician with no values or beliefs. First supporting the old crony John McCain and now supporting more fraudulent stimulus.

After three weeks and contradicted one of the very basics he ran on and you expect us to call it a compromise? He sold out. He sold out quick, he sold out cheap and after selling out he has no intention of looking back.

And on his Facebook page:

Because everyone knows that building highways doesn't put average Americans back to work. Just those fancy-schmancy high-brow highway doctors and computer robot scientists.

And the cause of their vitriol? Scott Brown turned out to not be totally insane. Scott Brown figured that maybe jobs for people might be a good idea. Breal out the tar and feathers!

Next, they turned on the high priest of crazy dickishness, Glenn Beck himself!

Here's WingNut Daily's take on Beck:

Meet kinder, gentler Glenn Beck: New 'global warming' believer?

Finds common ground with George Clooney, his publicist is Democratic Party power player

Egads! Beck had a moment of heresy in which he thought "Gee, maybe every legitimate scientist in the world isn't stupid. Maybe the world is getting warmer."

Listen to this list of his sins:

While polls show more people drifting away from acceptance of "global warming," the newest superstar among conservatives – Glenn Beck – is embracing it, according to an interview story in a leading national Sunday-newspaper magazine.

"You'd be an idiot not to notice the temperature change," he says.

He also thinks it could be caused partly by man's activity.

At home, he's going green by using energy-saving products.

Saving Energy!?!? What's next, child murder?

No, even worse:

Beck also reveals he's no fan of Ronald Reagan
whom he blames for driving up the deficits.

Eeeeekkkk!!!!!

Of course, that's not what Beck really said, WingNut Daily just kinda gets it backwards.

"Republicans sold the American people out," Beck says. "I've always said I was a Reagan-style conservative. But I don't think Reagan was a real Republican. He just maintained some shared values."

So, he seems to be saying that he likes Reagan, but doesn't care for the republican Party in general. WingNut Daily interprets this as saying he doesn't like Reagan. I guess to them, saying "he's not a real Republican" is the greatest insult.

Then CPAC happened. And the CPACers took their annual straw poll, and Ron Paul came out in first. Now the teabaggers should love the ant-government, pro gun, anti-fed, pro-conspiracy theory ron Paul, but for some reason, a lot of wingnuts are distancing themselves from him. (probably due to his opposition to the Iraq invasion and his desire to close US military bases in foreign countries. You know, reducing government spending, smaller government and all that)

Here's John Hinderacker of Powerline:

Ron Paul has won the CPAC straw Presidential vote with 31 percent of the total. This is dismaying, to the extent one takes it seriously. Ron Paul is the crazy uncle in the Republican Party's attic

The crazy uncle? Ron Paul? Ron Paul is THE crazy uncle? The Republican Party has more crazy uncles than the Addams family.

And more weirdo aunts than Samantha Stevens

Anyway, I think I had a point when I started this, but. . .

Oh, yeah. The Teabaggers are starting to destroy their own idols. This could be fun to watch.

Michelle Malkin

Back in April, the Department of Homeland security issued a report warning of a possible rise in right-wing extremist violence. (here) and (here)

Well, a lot of people had some harsh criticism for the report. But none so harsh as professional lunatic Michelle Malkin


(seen here in one of her more lucid moments)




who had things like this to say about the report:

The “report” (PDF file here) was one of the most embarrassingly shoddy pieces of propaganda I’d ever read out of DHS. I couldn’t believe it was real (link)

the piece of crap report issued on April 7 is a sweeping indictment of conservatives. My b.s. detector went off the chart, and yours will, too, if you read through the entire report — which asserts with no evidence that an unquantified “resurgence in rightwing extremist recruitment and radicalizations activity” is due to home foreclosures, job losses, and…the historical presidential election.

Well, within a week, we've now had the assasination of Dr. George Tiller, and a white supremacist shooting up the Holocaust Museum. So maybe the report had a point?
What does Malkin have to say now?

"The truth is, this guy’s a deranged Holocaust denier. He represents no one on the conservative right - not me, nor any of those with whom I associate.”

Yeah, that was the point, moron! The report warned about EXTREMIST NUTS, not garden-variety conservatives.

Prepare for a wall-to-wall onslaught of gleeful finger-pointing on the Left

Prepare for DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano’s defenders to gloat about vindication.

Um, genius, it's not janet Napolitano being vindicated here since, once again, she had NOTHING to do with this report. The report was ordered by the Bush administration.


Why can't you either just admit that the report was pretty prescient in its warnings or just shut the fuck up about it?

Dealergate

Due to its ongoing financial problems, Chrysler is having to close about 25% of its dealerships.
What do you think of that, Conspiracy Cat?




















Oh, Conspiracy Cat, that's what you say about everything! Surely no one else could see anything sinister in this!

Oh, really? Malkin? Well, that doesn't count. Everyone knows she's a nutjob. It's not like anyone else. . . .Really?! Like who?

Doug Ross @ Journal took a look at all of the owners whose names appeared more than once in the Chrysler dealer closing list, and:

of those who contributed to political campaigns, every single one had donated almost exclusively to GOP candidates. While this isn’t an exhaustive review, it does have some ominous implications if it can be verified.

Yes, Doug, the rampaging army of yetis amassing along the Canadian border also has ominous implications if it can be verified. (hint: it can't)

Who else?

This is a must-read from Gateway Pundit. It appears that of all the Chrysler dealers that are being closed down by the UAW/Obama-owned Chrysler corporation, all but one were donors to either the GOP or to Obama’s rivals (Hilary Clinton/John McCain, etc…) in the presidential primaries and election.

The implications here are staggering.

Yes, if by "staggering" you mean the type of staggering you see outside of bars at 2:00 am.

Speculation is growing that the government is safeguarding political donors and other Democrat favorites when selecting dealerships that will be closed. . . Disturbing is the fact that we all could easily conceive political motives behind the closings… yes, the federal government is that evil!

Also, we could easily conceive political motivations behind leap year, male pattern baldness, and the disappearance of the McRib sandwich, if we were crazy, paranoid and stupid.

What must it be like to be these people? How do you go about your day-to-day life convinced that absolutely everything is a conspiracy against you, your religion, and your political leanings? I don't see how you get out of bed in the morning. I would be hiding in a hole I dug in the woods if I thought that evil people and institutions were all out to get me!

There are, of course, a couple important facts that get left out in these folks' "analyses" of the dealer closings. One is that almost all of the people that own car dealerships are, for one reason or another, conservatives/Republicans. So complaining about the large percentage of Republican-owned dealerships being closed down is akin to complaining that most of the player selected to the NBA All-Star team are unusually tall.

The other important point is that Barack Obama is NOT the one deciding which dealerships to close. That should go without saying, but apparently, being obviously fictitious is no reason for these people to disbelieve something. After all, these are the same people who believe that there is a concerted effort underway to rid the world of Christmas.

Michelle Malkin

For some reason, there are some people who take Michelle Malkin seriously.
Really. I know, it's hard to believe!

Here's her latest nugget of insanity:

Of course: Swine flu is all the evil GOP’s fault!

By Michelle Malkin • April 27, 2009 11:39 AM

Well, it didn’t take long for partisan Democrats to blame the swine flu outbreak on the Republican Party.

Um, no.
No one is blaming Republicans for the swine flu. Really. No one thinks that the Republican Party is clever enough to manufacture a new virus and spread it to the U.S. via Mexico.
Seriously, just stop now.

Here’s the line: Since House Republicans all opposed the trillion-dollar-porkulus, which included funding for pandemic preparations, it’s all. Our. Fault.

No. Not really.

No, really:

Ok, what are you basing this on? Oh, this article from The Nation you linked to? Well. let's see what it has to say.

When House Appropriations Committee chairman David Obey, the Wisconsin Democrat who has long championed investment in pandemic preparation, included roughly $900 million for that purpose in this year's emergency stimulus bill, he was ridiculed by conservative operatives and congressional Republicans.

Well, that is true.

Famously, Maine Senator Collins, the supposedly moderate Republican who demanded cuts in health care spending in exchange for her support of a watered-down version of the stimulus, fumed about the pandemic funding: "Does it belong in this bill? Should we have $870 million in this bill? No, we should not."

Ok, still waiting for the part where the Republicans are blamed.

Senate Democratic leaders bowed to Collins in the process of crafting their chamber's version of the stimulus. In doing so, they eliminated more than 80 percent of the modest amount of money that had been allocated for pandemic preparedness -- and all of the money that would have helped emergency services.

Sounds like they're blaming the Democrats.

Senate Democrats bent to her demands. That makes them, at the very least, complicit in the weakening of what needed to be a muscular plan.

The bottom line is that there were no heroes in either party on the Senate side of the ugly process that ridiculed and then eliminated pandemic preparedness funding.

Would you like to treat this witness as hostile?

But former White House political czar Karl Rove and key congressional Republicans — led by Maine Senator Susan Collins — aggressively attacked the notion that there was a connection between pandemic preparation and economic recovery.

Should we just stop here? Are you sure you don't want to withdraw your objection?
Ok, let's see if Rove and company were right. Let's see if there is, in fact, no connection between a flu outbreak and economic recovery.

On Monday, the question began to be answered, as Associated Press reported -- under the headline: "World Markets Struck By Swine Flu Fears" -- that: "World stock markets fell Monday as investors worried that a deadly outbreak of swine flu in Mexico could go global and derail any global economic recovery."

Before U.S. markets opened, the Wall Street Journal reported: "U.S. stock futures fell sharply Monday as the outbreak of deadly swine flu stoked fears that a possible recovery in the global economy could be derailed."

The Dow, after several weeks of surging, finished the day down 51 points, with the Journal headlining a late-day report: "US Stocks Down On Continued Swine Flu Fears."

OOOOOOO, I'm sorry, the correct answer was "Yes, there is a connection." We would also have accepted "hell yes," "obviously," or "Duh!" We have some lovely parting gifts for you: Turtle Wax, a year's supply of shut the fuck up, and Rice A Roni, the San Francisco treat!" (*)Only funny to those of us born prior to 1970

So do you have anything to add before skulking off to well deserved ignominy?

So any natural disaster or bio-catastrophe that comes along, for which fiscal conservatives refused to support funding for in an economic recovery package, will now be all. Our. Fault.

No. Look, we just covered this. No one is blaming the Republicans. People are just pointing out how ironically wrong they were on this issue. And by the way, your syntax is atrocious. See you in Summer School.

More Fake Outrage

We touched on the kerfuffle over the Dept. of Homeland Security report on Domestic terror threats (here) but I'd like to go back to that subject, since it fits in with another recent post(here).

The feigned outrage coming from the right over this report is astounding. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Here, for example, is a posting by someone named Warner Todd Huston, at the website "RedState.com"

Alright all you right-wing thugs out there, now that tax day is over, Obama and his pals are saying you are dangerous and that your tax protests are an act of revolution. It is amusing that they’ve never said that with the many riots past and present spread by left-wingers in the US — after all little “right-wing” violence has ever been seen here —
but there you have it. It’s all YOU.

Riiiiiiight, very little "right-wing" violence has been seen in this country. Unless you count the Oklahoma City bombing, The Olympic Park bombing, the "Army of God," the Knoxville church shooting,The Phineas Priesthood's string of bank robberies, the murder of Matthew Shepard, the "order" murdering Alan Berg, Benjamin Nathaniel Smith's 3-day shooting rampage, the Aryan Nations, the World Church of the Creator, various and sundry militia groups, dozens of arsons and bombings at abortion clinics, assorted plots to assassinate Obama, etc.But other than that, no, not really much right-wing violence. Do go on. . . .

And on the heels of that Democrat take over we have seen the frightening abuse of policing powers evinced by Obama’s Department of Homeland Security that has released a so-called threat assessment that seems to assume that every American that holds center right views is dangerous and declaring that nearly half the electorate is prone to “right-wing terrorism.”

Wow, where to begin? You must know damn well that the report says nothing of the kind. Or do you really think that the report's references to "white supremacist and violent anti-government groups" refers to "anyone with center-right views"? You can't be that stupid. Of course you aren't. I see what you're doing here. Trying to make it seem like conservatives are this powerless, oppressed minority being scapegoated by the big, bad democrats, even though this report was commissioned by the Bush Administration, and does not accuse mainstream conservatives of being allied with extremist groups. You're the one who is implying that garden-variety conservatives are akin to these violent fringe groups.

You're counting on the high probability that no one in your audience has actually read the report, which is a pretty safe bet.
Look, the report is only 10 pages long, andi's pretty large type with lots of bullet points (no pun intended). One page is the title and DHS logo, one page is the table of contents, so it's really only 8 pages to read. Look. You can read it right here.

Here is radio talker Laura Ingraham on the O'Reilly show:

we have a Department of Homeland Security issuing reports about right-wing extremism and equating, you know, domestic terrorism with, you know,
the vets coming home from Iraq

No, you know, they certainly do not, you know, equate soldiers with terrorists. What they do say, is that" rightwing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalize returning veterans" (as happened with Tim McVeigh when he returned from the first Gulf War.)

And here's loudmouth buffoon sean Hannity speaking to a "tea party" in Atlanta:

if you have a pro-life bumper sticker on your car, if you have an 'America is overtaxed' bumper sticker, if you have a pro-Second Amendment bumper sticker, they're viewing you potentially as a radical.

"The Homeland Security Department is probably checking the license plates of everybody here."

Oh, good one sean! because these nuts aren't already paranoid enough, now tell them they're being stalked by the DHS! Brilliant! What could possibly go wrong with stoking the fires of misdirected fear and rage?

And here's loonie without portfolio Michelle Malkin:

"[W]hat we're seeing is -- what we've seen with this White House and with the Department of Homeland Security smearing of people who are patriots."

Now, she may actually be pignorant (TM) enough to believe this absurd hogwash, but even she probably knows that this is bullshit. Hell, even a few people at FOX realize this!

Here's an exchange between FOX host Shepard Smith and correspondent Catherine Herridge in which FOX producers forgot to edit out the sanity:

On Studio B, Smith asked Herridge of the report, "Who and what are they talking about here? I mean, this isn't about these -- this isn't about tea party folks." Herridge replied:

No, essentially the driver in these intelligence assessments is the downturn in the economy. What they say essentially is that when people have less money, they're out of work, they feel disenfranchised, this is fertile ground for groups on the left as well as groups on the right.

And you remember from reporting on this show, Shep, that even at the end of last year, prior to the inauguration, the Homeland Security Department under the Bush administration was sounding the alarm about the potential for right-wing groups to act, specifically because of the economy, and also because America was going to have its first African-American president.

Herridge also noted that the DHS report "does talk specifically about returning veterans as being sort of attractive targets for these groups, because they've got the weapons training and they may feel somewhat disenfranchised when they return for a variety of returns." She later added, referring to the reports on left-wing and right-wing extremists, "I would point out that both of these assessments, Shep, were commissioned under the Bush administration. It takes some time to do them. They only came out after he had left office."


So just knock it off with the phony outrage already. Your faux-righteous indignation is not fooling anyone with the sense God gave a mule; but as you know, ther are a lot of people out there who don't have any damn sense and they're your core audience. Why do you need to drive these simpletons even crazier? Don't you know someone is going to get hurt?