David Thorne May Be The Funniest Guy I Never Heard Of Until Today.

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Defending mel Gibson

I would have thought that never-been-funny-comic Whoopi Goldberg would be the only one stupid/nutty enough to stick up for Mel Gibson. I was wrong. Commentors on the FOX "News" website have no qualms about sticking up for ol' Mel.

The defenses range from the sorta-qualified:

gilvejar

Mel is still an awesome director, producer and actor. Granted, there is no excuse for his outrageous ranting behavior, however, we do not know the circumstances that brought that on. MG is a very complicated man.

(excusing Mel's behavior while stating that there "is no excuse," way to cover all the bases!)

To the conspiratorial:

Cordell Olsen

Crusade Against Mel Gibson Stamped, Sealed and Delivered by the New World Order

To the blame-deflecting:

andrew1431
Canada

Mel's really gone into the toilet, hasn't he? Should have stayed with your wife, Mel. What did he expect from this money grubbing bimbo?

To the flat out might-as-well-have-been-written-by-Mel-himself:

Julianne Walton

They want to go after Mel Gibson cause He made a movie about Christ and everyone knows that most of the hollywood industry is saturated with jews. This is their way to get back at him.

Hey, that sounds kind of racist, there, Julianne!

I am not saying this in a racist way it is simply the truth...if you don't believe me just check it out for yourself.

Thanks, I will!
Oh, and you're a goddamned idiot. I'm not saying that in a racist way, it's just true!

Anyone else want to weigh in?

Leaf Evans

If she was shaking her baby like he claims, she deserves more than just a broken tooth.

Way to support and encourage domestic violence, Leif! And by the way, the name "Leif" is spelled with an I, not an A.

It goes like this:

Leif

Leaf

Leif

Leaf

Okay?

Anyone else?

rmkey
Alabama

I never heard of Bing Crosby being jailed for his conduct. I think Gibson should be left alone. I dont know the personal circimstances involved and I have never hit a woman. Having said that, since women have equal rights and serve in combat roles they should be able to defend themselves. I recall Sean Connery in a Barbra Walters interview once said that "upon occasion I do believe its permissible to slap a woman."

And there is no greater moral authority than Sean Connery. In fact, my minister used to always say "if you can't find the answer in the Bible, just rent Goldfinger. If Sean Connery says it's Ok, then who are we to disagree?"

gto389
California

Oxi and Mel are just the perfect pair. Made on "earth" for each other. Notice how when they first shown footage of them on tv....notice oxi was towing him along like a ragdoll? No respect at all. I would never drag a man around like that.....and if he let me, I would not want him. $$$ or not! Men should be rugged, hairy and masculine.....YOWZA! mmmm Mike Rowe, good example of YOWZA! The Cheaters deserve each other. Maybe she is a dominatrix and things got out of hand....who knows.

Yes, because when S&M play gets out of hand, it is usually the dominatrix who suffers injury? I guess?

peplsuk
North Dakota

He Should've Taken Her Deep Sea Fishing Like Joran & Natalee

(speechless)

rounder2779

She probably had it coming. How come women can push men's buttons to the point the snap and when they do they get arrested? She is probably using the child as a pawn, not letting him see her, threatening custody and visitation..etc. The women should be arrested for mentally abusing men.

Ummm, Okay. You do realize that you're pushing my buttons now, right? So I guess I can knock your teeth out and then have you prosecuted for making me snap? Is that how it works?

mrblastman

I somehow think she's a bi-polar maniac. Gibson was married for years with six kids and he did nothing ever to hurt them. She's driven him to the edge it looks like and don't blame him in ways for his feelings and reaction. A hormonal woman is something to be feared

loveusa1

This individual is what gives woman a bad name. She's after his money and wow she's gonna get paid big. Peolple use many words to express what they feel especially when their angry, that doesn't make you a racist. The N word is basically in everyones mouth these days.

Um, not everyone's! Just racists' and rappers'. And by the way, you mean "they're" not "their."

Okay, we have time for one more. Anyone got a real grand finale kind of comment to go out with?

scm3593
Texas

I use the "N" word and I am not a racist. A racist is one that is prejudicial against a race. When blacks act like thugs I call them niggers. When Mexicans act like thugs I call them spics. When whites act like thugs I call them white trash. So race has absolutely nothing to do with the language you use. I will say however that I am put off with the way all the minorities are being catered to because they are minorities.

Crazy Candidate of the Day -- Oops, Sorry! Edition

Ooooohhhhh, now I feel kinda bad. Previous Crazy Candidate of the Day Ernest Pagels apparently really is crazy. Literally. He was discharged from the Air Force after being diagnosed with some sort of "paranoid personality disorder."

Apparently, he does not think that this should disqualify him from holding public office.



Also, he's a birther! Surprise, surprise!

Defending the indefensible: Palin vs. Whoopi

Here's Palin being stupid and spouting gibberish in defense of the teabaggers on stupid Sean Hannity's stupid show of stupidness:



And yeah, she uses the word "refudiate," which is of course, not an actual word, but that's not even the stupidest part. Claiming that teabaggers don't tolerate racism is like sying that my car doesn't tolerate gasoline. Of course, nobody's saying that ALL the teabaggers are racist,I'm sure some of them are just baboon-ass insane in non-racist ways. Some of them just can't distinguish between small steps toward healthcare reform and Nazi Germany, but when you see people with signs like this:







And no one is objecting, well, that's pretty much the dictionary definition of "tolerating racism."

Oh, and here's a lovely "tweet" from the Springboro Tea Party leader:

Nope, nothing racist there!

And what is this "beautiful movement, full of diverse people, diverse backgrounds" she talks about? The teabaggers are about the least diverse group I've ever seen, and what the fuck is so "beautiful" about a bunch of angry fat people screaming about Nazis and Communists and Tyranny? What beauty do you see in that?

What beautiful threats of gun violence those are!

Aah, so beautiful! And just look at the diversity!

Oh, wait. No, there he is! There's our "diverse" guy!

And it's interesting that the racism isn't what's divisive, it's the NAACP pointing out the racism that's divisive.

And this is just gibberish: "So to be called a racist, yes, those over there on the left who are opposing that good message of Tea Party Americans are using this racism accusation in order to keep people away from not only the movement, but keeping them — keeping a wall built between what the message actually is and the American public that is today receiving that message very well."
And Tea Party Americans is not an ethnic group. It's like calling me a baseball American, or a blogger American. It's just stupid. Almost as stupid as sticking up for Mel Gibson.

But no one could possibly be sticking up for crazy Mel right about now, right?



Oh, Jeezus!

Seriously? Mel's not a racist because he's nice to your face? You've never met someone who's insincerely pleasant? I smile and converse pleasantly with people I can't stand every day. It's called having a job. Just because I listen to "Bob" prattle on about his impressions of next year's NBA teams without screaming at him to shut the hell up and try doing some goddamned work for a change you lazy piece of crap, doesn't mean that I actually like that loser. And Mel's an actor. He can fake nice better than most.
And you know about drunks, right? You know that they say stupid shit when they're drunk, right? But do you really think that Mel has no problem with Jewish folks, it's just the alcohol talking. He doesn't really know what they're saying? Don't be ridiculous! What alcohol does is lower your inhibitions so that you say out loud what you normally have enough sense to only think. If Mel's sober, he says "Oh, I'm sorry, Officer, was I speeding?" but he's still thinking "Bloody Jew! You people are responsible for all the wars in the world." He's still an anti-Semite, he just has enough sense to keep it under his white hood--I mean under his hat!
And then after all that about how drunks say things they don't mean, you say "I don't think he was drunk." So, according to your theory, he really meant the "pack of N---ers" comment. So how is he not a racist?
Claiming that Mel Gibson is not a racist is like claiming that Roman Polanski didn't rape a 13-year-old girl.



Ooohhh, right! That's strike 2, Whoopi.



Oh, yeah! I forgot about that! Steeeeerike Three! Yer out, Whoopi! Please never speak publicly again.

Voyage of the Damned

The National Review is hosting a cruise!
Usually, cruises are fun, but this cruise is, shall we say, unusual?
They have a whole bunch of Speakers!
Here's your headliner:

Karl Rove



But wait, there's more!

Phyllis Schlafly
(apparently still alive, but I wouldn't bet money on it. This has "weekend at Bernie's"
written all over it)

Jonah Goldberg


Bernie Goldberg
(apparently, Lucianne Goldberg was unavailable)


Andrew Breitbart

And the list goes on. Now, it's gonna set you back a few thou for this sneak preview of Hell, but I think I can approximate the experience here for free. Here goes:

Hi, welcome aboard Satan's Shit-boat Cruise Lines. I see you'll be sharing a stateroom with Charles Manson. What? No, not that Charles Manson! Boy, he gets that a lot. No, don't worry, this isn't Charles Manson the murderer. This is Charles Manson the pack of incontinent howler monkeys with boundary issues.

So, here's your itinerary, we'll be making stops at Razor-sand Beach, Syphilis Bay, and the Island of Inappropriate Stepfathers. Oh, and of course, Fire Island. Gay? No, not that Fire Island! This is an Island that is actually on fire. You'll go ashore and spend the night there.

We also make a short visit to the Men's room of the Minneapolis Airport, where you'll meet our special guest. (he's a Senator!) Then on to Sodomy Creek, The River Styx, the Sea of Despair, and the Jersey Shore.

Oh, and you'll love our activities! There's being locked in a closet, Eric Massa's special massages, and watching MTV!
No, we don't have swimming with dolphins, but we do offer having your limbs fed to Orcas. Oh, it's wonderful. Those magnificent creatures really put on a show!

And don't forget to check out our all-you-can-eat bread and water buffet!