Stupidest Headline of the Millenium

Of course it's from the AFA's Bryan Fischer:

Julian Assange Not the Bad Guy Here - The Homosexual Soldier Is

Is he serious? You bet he is!

The out-of-the-mainstream media has collaboratively kept the focus on the sex criminal, Julian Assange, and off the guy who has committed actual treason, the homosexual soldier Bradley Manning, who sold out his country in what may turn out to be fit of gay pique.

A "fit of gay pique!" It's not that PFC Manning thought that the public should know what is being done in their name. It couldn't possibly be that he is super-committed to freedom of information. No, it's just what gay guys do when they get into one of their little snits.

Manning was, at a minimum, seriously confused about his sexuality, and at worst, launched the WikiLeaks campaign to strike back at the military for its “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, which he vehemently opposed. 

So, wait. You don't even know if he's gay? It might have been breeder pique? Or bi pique? Well, I guess that since he opposed DADT, he must be at least a little bit gay, right?
I think I see how this works. Let me try.
Um, Bryan Fischer is at a minimum a self-loathing closet queen and at worst writes his column to strike back at the gay guys for being so damn hot.

Regardless, he is a one-man argument for keeping open homosexuals from serving in the military in the first place. If the 1993 law - which flatly prohibits homosexuals from a place in the armed services - had been followed, there would be no PFC Bradley Manning and no WikiLeaks. 

He is a one-man argument for keeping open homosexuals from serving in the military, even though he might not be gay and if he is, he's apparently not all that open about it, since you, the most gay-obsessed man on the planet, don't even know if he's gay or just "seriously confused about his sexuality."

does not "flatly prohibit homosexuals from a place in the armed services." It allows gay lesbian or bisexual soldiers to serve as long as they keep their orientation a secret. Big difference.

Manning was quite open about his flirtation with all manner of sexual orientations on social networking sites, evidence the military could not use to discharge him because of inane rules established 

under DADT. 

DADT allows a soldier to serve as long as he keeps his sexual proclivities a secret. 

That's what I just said! 

It’s no wonder that the Old Media rarely if ever even references Manning any more. And I believe it is for one simple reason: Manning singlehandedly torpedoes their argument that homosexuals can be allowed to serve in our military without consequence. 

Well, it's hard to argue with flawless logic like that! Seeing as how one soldier who may or may not be gay did something bad completely un-related to sexuality, the only conclusion one can possibly draw is that the gays are all bad and shouldn't be allowed in the Army. Just like we had to kick all the white hetero trailer trash out of the military after the Abu Ghraib scandal.

 

Seriously Fischer, you need help. Dan Savage doesn't spend as much time thinking about gay sex as you do. You need to see a shrink. It's not healthy to keep your true desires bottled up inside. That's how people like you get obsessed. You're obsessed with the gay, Bryan. Either come out of that closet or shut the door so the rest of us don't have to hear you.

MERRY CRIPSMAS!

Oh, God. I'm a dead man, aren't I?

Terrible Marketing Campaigns - Pistachios

What is the thinking behind this campaign? Are they trying to get us to stop eating their product? What other reason could there be for assembling this collection of the most loathsome creeps in America? I half suspect that these ads are actually produced by the almond people or cashew people with the intent of creating a psychological linkage between the pistachio and this rogues' gallery of lowlifes.



I mean really, Levi Johnston? The man whose very existence seems to be a ploy to make the Palin family seem sympathetic by comparison? A man who is known for only one accomplishment, which was impregnating an underage girl then deserting her? Which, to be fair, is one more accomplishment than this person:



The fact that "Snookie" has touched a pistachio with her bare hands makes me leery of touching any of them lest it be the one she has handled. Is this campaign really working?

And then of course, there is the man who knows no shame.



What the hell? Why would you want a sleazy criminal endorsing your product? How is this supposed to make your product seem appealing? Rod Blagojevich? What the hell? Was Tom DeLay unavailable? You couldn't get "Duke" Cunningham? Cheney not returning your calls? You couldn't find anyone with less dignity than Blagojevitch? Oh, you did?



God, that's just depressing. Miss teen Carolina trying to make a career out of having her IQ mocked. Gee, let's see, I've humiliated myself on TV, the entire internet is mocking me because they think I'm a moron, how should I handle this situation? Maybe I could do something to prove that I actually am an intelligent person. . .no, maybe I'll just start acting stupid on purpose and get paid for being ridiculed!
How am I supposed to get a hankering for your product when I'm just feeling sorry for your spokeswoman?
The whole campaign is just depressing.

Isn't the idea of "celebrity" endorsements supposed to be that on some level the viewer will associate the product with the movie star or athlete or whatever and subconsciously start to think that buying the product will make him in some way similar to the admired person? That's why it's usually someone like Micheal Jordan or Peyton Manning in this type of ad. Is there really a demographic out there who admires any of these people? And do they buy nuts by the truckload? Because otherwise, this whole campaign just doesn't make a bit of sense.

Kim Kardashian Reaches a New Level of Shamelessness.

It was once said of someone that "She would go to the opening of an envelope." That used to be the standard for someone being a pathetic publicity whore. Now, thanks to Kim Kardashian, we have a new, lower, standard.

(via The Superficial)

 

Yeah, she's cutting the ribbon at the grand opening of a public toilet.

Today, Procter & Gamble (NYSE: PG) Charmin® Restrooms return to Times Square for the fifth consecutive year, giving holiday visitors and local New Yorkers a free, clean and family-friendly place to “enjoy the go” during this busy time of year. To launch the 2010 Restrooms, Charmin is calling on one of the newest New Yorkers, Kim Kardashian, to reveal its new location at 142 West 42nd Street, and this year’s themed bathroom stalls representing iconic U.S. locations, as part of the first-ever Charmin Go Nation national competition.

I don't know what's worse, the fact that Charmin is having a grand opening for a toilet, or that they use the phrase "enjoy the go." That is just horrible. Just really awful. And then what sort of competition are they having? No, wait. I don't want to know. 

“With my recent transition to New York, I’ve been checking out all the gifts the City has to offer visitors and New Yorkers alike,” says Kardashian. “During the holiday shopping season, I’m happy to join Charmin as they give the gift of the Restrooms near Times Square.”

"Also, I have no shame and not a spec of dignity!" she might as well have added. "Are people looking at me? LOOK AT ME!!!!! TALK ABOUT ME!!!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!" she practically continued. "How many times do I have to humiliate myself in public before you like me?"

 

How about now? Are people talking about me now? I'm practically committing statutory rape here, people!

 

How about now?

Now?

 

Oh my gosh, quit looking at my big butt! 

 

I'm serious, you guys! Quit looking at my butt!

 

Seriously, stop! Heeheeeheeeheee!

 

Hooray! I'm Famous!

This is who they are

This is who Joe Barton is, or who he would like to be.

Joe Barton put together a Powerpoint slideshow to e-mail to his colleagues in the House laying out his case for why he should be the next chairman of the Energy and Commerce Committee, because what better way to decide who to put in charge of important government things than a Powerpoint slideshow? Here's one of his slides:

 

  

That's it. That's all he's got. ". . . put anything in my scope and I will shoot it." All he can promise is to destroy. He has no ideas of his own. He just wants to destroy any accomplishments of the guys on the other side. These guys are like teenage anarchists destroying for the sheer joy of destruction. They have no interest in actually governing. They have made it quite clear that they don't believe in government. And yet, a large number of people apparently think that it's a good idea to have the government run by anti-government ideologues. It's like putting a Klansman in charge of the NAACP. It just makes no fucking sense. It's like putting Richard Simmons in charge of a bakery. Or making Madeleine Murray O'Hare  the next pope.

This is who they are:

GOP says it'll block bills until tax cuts extended

Senate Republicans threatened Wednesday to block virtually all legislation until expiring tax cuts are extended 

Like children throwing a tantrum, they will not let the grownups do anything until they get what they want, and they don't give a damn whether we cab afford it. They want their tax cuts, they want their tax cuts now, they want their tax cuts for all eternity, for ever and ever amen and deficit be damned! Oh, they'll be the first ones to cry and wail about the deficit. Once they get  their tax cuts, then the deficit will suddenly become important again, but right now they have the opportunity to cut into the deficit simply by doing nothing and they would rather hold every piece of legislation hostage in service to tax cuts for the top 2%. They don't care. They do not care if the country goes bankrupt, they don't care if we can't fix roads and bridges or we can't have decent schools or libraries, they do not care. They know what they want and that is all that matters to them. They are spoiled greedy nasty children. This is who they are.

P.S. I gotta think Eisenhower must be spinning in his grave right about now.