Oh, My God, He's a Fucking 12-Year-Old!

George W. Bush: 'Eight Years Was Awesome, And I Was Famous And I Was Powerful'

Awesome? Really?

Who could possibly used the word "awesome" to describe the presidency without linking it to the word "responsibility?" Like "being in charge of the world's sole remaining superpower is an awesome responsibility which I took very seriously."

But no, 8 years of warfare and recession are apparently just totally awesome 'cuz you get to be all famous and shit!

Dude, remember how awesome it was when you did nothing to even try and prevent the worst terrorist attack on our nation in history? And remember how totally rad it was when you sent thousands of our troops to their deaths in the wrong country? And wasn't it bitchin' when you decided like, sure what the fuck, let's become one of those countries that tortures people!




What other gems of wisdom did Bush crap out during this interview?

“I think it’s bad for the presidency to have former presidents bloviating, opining, telling people how it ought to be done. …

(someone got a word-a-day calender for his birthday!)

I don’t want to undermine our president — whoever’s president — and a former president can do that. … 

 Oh, well that's cool. That's pretty classy, actually. Don't want to do anything to undermine the current prez. That's pretty decent of ya. Unless you're about to. . . .

 Bush did add that he hopes Mitt Romney wins the presidency this November.

 

I don't want to do anything to undermine the current president, except for publicly stating that I hope he loses his re-election bid.

Jeezus, what a moron.

Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0712/78606.html#ixzz21JSAN7V2

Did Rupert Murdoch Buy National Geographic?

Because otherwise, I can't think of any reason why they would be airing "George W. Bush: the 9/11 Interview."

Is there some chance that they think he's going to suddenly be honest?

Look at this clip:


First clip from Nat Geo's "George W. Bush: The 9/11 Interview" from Realscreen magazine on Vimeo.


He starts out by lying, saying that he never wanted to be a wartime president, when we know that his adminsitration had been drawing up invasion plans for Iraq before 9/11, just waiting for a pretext.

Then he tells this bizzarre story about being told that the first plane had hit the WTC. He says that he thought it was a light aircraft and that it must have been some sort of weather-related accident or something. Had he not already been informed that 4 very large airplanes had been hijacked that morning? And when his aides told him about the crash, could they really have been that vague about the details? Would they really not have said "um, no, Mr. President, this was a fucking 747 and it looks to have been intentional?" Why would he have assumed that this was a minor incident? If a "light aircraft" had accisentally crashed into a building, that doesn't seem like something that would merit alerting the POTUS. And if he really did think that this was some sad, but minor accident, why instruct his staff to send all possible help to New York? If this was a light aircraft crashing in Manhattan, the FDNY would have been perfectly capable of handling it.

Bush's negligence on Sept. 11 was absolutely inexcusable and unforgivable. Instead of telling his staff to send help and then walking into a classroom, he should have been on the phone with NORAD. As soon as he got word that four different 747's had been hijacked at the same time, he should have been in contact with NORAD. Who knows how many lives could have been saved by scrambling fighter jets to force the planes down? Look at what happened with the 4th plane in Pennsylvania. Contrary to the story we all were originally told, the passengers did not wrest control of the plane from the terrorists. (If they had, would they have flown it straight into the ground, or would they have called air traffic control and try to get someone to talk them through safely landing the plane?) No, the black box confirms that as soon as the passengers started to kick down the cockpit door, the terrorists panicked and steered the plane into the ground because they knew that they could be overpowered and might lose their chance to kill thousands, so they decided they would at least kill the Americans who were on board their plane. There's no reason to think that they might not have reacted similarily to US fighter jets.

There is another promo running on the "Nat Geo" channel in which Bush states that his emotions at the time were "sadness, grief, and determination." Really? Determination? Determination to find out how "My Pet Goat" ends? (In the above clip, Bush claims that he was "listening intently to the lesson" ) Or was it determination to invade the wrong country?

I expect this sort of thing from FOX. They have a pathological need to participate in this sort of shameless rehabilitation of GW Bush, but National Geographic? Aren't they supposed to be an educational organization? Why in the hell would they be a party to this sort of blatantly disingenuous propoganda?

Bush Lives in a Fantasy World

In the first interview of the publicity tour for his new book, Decision Points, Bush told Matt Lauer that he didn't want to use force.
"Not everybody thought you should go to war, though," Lauer said. "There were dissenting voices."
"I was a dissenting voice. I didn't want to use force," Bush said

But what could I do, he did not add, "I was only the commander in chief of the Armed Forces. If everyone else wanted to go to war, who was I to stop them?"

Seriously? Weren't you "the Decider?" If you didn't want to use force, you could have just not used force. It's really that simple!

I didn't want to use force," Bush said. "I mean force is the last option for a President. And I think it's clear in the book that I gave diplomacy every chance to work. 

I believe that the book which I had ghostwritten for me explains what a great guy I am. And I'm sure the ghostwriter would have no motivation to lie. So, you know, case closed!

"And I will also tell you the world's better off without Saddam in power.

And so are 25 million Iraqis." 

Well, you know, the ones who are still alive. And not maimed. Or widowed or orphaned. And aren't living in refugee camps. And aren't in constant fear of being blown up for being in the wrong Muslim sect. Basically, other than them the whole world is better off now that Sadam Hussein is not keeping Al Quaida out of Iraq and providing a counter-balance to the mullahs in Iran. 

Bush went on to say that he still feels like going to war was the right decision. And as he wrote in the book, "No one was more sickened or angry than I was when we didn't find weapons of mass destruction."

Oh, yeah. I remember how upset you were about that.



And of course no one in the "liberal Media" is going to call bullshit on any of his ridiculous claims. It's just simply not done. We need to move forward, not look backward, and put our petty differences aside, and blah, blah, blah, and meanwhile the war criminals of the previous administration face zero consequences for their crimes, not even public disapproval. Which pretty much ensures that there will be a next time. If this country had any balls, we'd send these guys to the Hague and let future administrations know that this will not be tolerated. But of course, that will never happen. You only get tried for war crimes when you lose a war.

How Many Ways Is This Wrong?

Way this is wrong #1: "Extreme Greenies." Seriously? People who would like to not have large swaths of the planet ruined by crude oil are "extreme?" Really? The ELF is extreme, in as much as they are a real organization. They set shit on fire. That's extreme. Wanting to find an alternative to our national oil addiction, not so much.

Way this is wrong #2: "Greenies" are amphetamine pills. Environmentalists, no matter how extreme, are "Greens." Also known as "responsible adults," "people who give a damn," or "the non-retarded."

Way this is wrong #3: "safe onshore places" No. No, that is not what you said. You said "Drill Baby, Drill," and "Drill Here, Drill Now," you never ever ever said anything about not drilling offshore. You are just lying. Show me where you said "Drill in safe onshore places, Baby, Drill in safe onshore places!" When did you ever say "Drill here, drill now, don't drill over there in the water, that would be unsafe!"

Way this is wrong #4: "safe onshore places" Drilling for oil is never safe anywhere. Oil & Gas Driller is currently ranked the 14th most dangerous job in America,
right after police officer and firefighter. And it's not like spills don't happen with onshore oil drilling, have you seen today's Juneau Empire? Here's a quick excerpt:

ANCHORAGE - Alaska and Alyeska officials say the crude oil spill at a pipeline station near Delta Junction apparently was held within a lined, bermed containment area.

The Department of Environmental Conservation says about 56,000 gallons of pooled oil from the estimated 210,000 gallon spill has been removed.

Way this is wrong #5: Sarah Palin saying that this oil spill/gusher/fuckstorm/whatever proves that she was right is just so absurd. It's like if someone found a knife with OJ's fingerprints on the handle and Nicole's blood on the blade and OJ said "see, I told you I didn't do it." This doesn't support your position, Sarah. You have it entirely backwards. This is exhibit A in the "Sarah Palin was dead wrong in public about drilling for oil" case.

Way this is wrong #6: "Now do you see?" You know, I don't mind being condescended to by someone smarter than me. If Steven Hawking wants to come by and talk down to me about science, I wouldn't feel bad at all. But when someone so obviously, demonstrably, laughably stupid as Sarah Palin takes that tone, it makes my head want to explode. That was my biggest complaint about George Dubya, too. If you're going to be condescending, you could at least be right. Remember when he said something about "People who disassemble," then smirkingly added "that means they don't tell the truth!" wanted to grab him by the lapels, shake him and scream NO IT DOESN"T!!! DISASSEMBLE MEANS TO TAKE APART! DISSEMBLE MEANS TO MISLEAD OR DECEIVE!" It's one thing to get the wrong word, that could happen to anyone, but to stand there smirking, acting like you're going to help us out with the big words when you got the word wrong is just unforgivable.

So that's six. Six ways that I can think of off the top of my head in which Sarah Palin is wrong within a two-sentence missive. That's really kind of impressive. It can't be easy to be that many kinds of wrong in under 30 words.

Miss Him Yet?

This picture of a billboard in Minnesota has been making the rounds lately:



And I thought, yeah I sure do!
You know the new guy has been in office for over a year and has yet to invade a single country? He still hasn't declared any of our Constitutional rights optional. He hasn't, as far as I know, authorized any new forms of torture, or any warrantless wiretaps. He still hasn't claimed the ability to declare US citizens "enemy combatants," or any other made-up term and decide that habeus corpus will just not apply to them. I mean, what the hell? What has he been doing all this time? He certainly hasn't been clearing brush or reading My Pet Goat, the book so important that national crises will just have to wait until you're finished.

But anyway, I figured that this billboard just represented the viewpoint of one nutty Minnesotan, and no respectable person would share this opinion.
Apparently, the New York Times does not consider respectability to be a prerequisite for appearing on its op-ed pages, cuz look:

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Do You Miss Him Yet?

By STANLEY FISH

I know you’re not supposed to, but I just love to say I told you so.

What I told you back on Sept. 28, 2008, was that within a year of the day he left office George W. Bush would come to be regarded with affection and a little nostalgia.

Yeah, if you had said that he would be regarded with affection and nostalgia by some nut in Minnesota, then you'd be within your rights to gloat, but most people have the same low opinion of Bushie as they did when he left office.

Well it’s a bit more than a year now and signs of Bush’s rehabilitation are beginning to pop up. One is literally a sign, a billboard that appeared recently on I-35 in Minnesota. Occupying the right side (from the viewer’s viewpoint) is a picture of Bush smiling genially and waving his hand in a friendly gesture. Occupying the left side is a simple and direct question: “Miss me yet?”

Like a said, some nut in Minnesota. Do you have any polling data that says that people in general are feeling more forgiving of Dubya?

The image is all over the Internet, hundreds of millions of hits, and unscientific Web-based polls indicate that more do miss him than don’t.

Oh, well if the polls are unscientific AND Internet-based, they're bound to be relevant!

Oh, and you know who else has millions of hits? Charlie.

I know you said"hundreds of millions" of hits, but I don't believe you.

A perhaps more substantial sign incorporates a sign famous (or infamous) in the Bush presidency. The March 8 cover of Newsweek reproduces the famous 2003 photograph of Bush on the flight deck of the U.S.S. Lincoln. The president is in the left of the picture, striding away from the famous banner proclaiming “Mission Accomplished.”

Wow, the cover of Newsweek. He can now join the exalted ranks of those who have graced the cover of Newsweek, like:

Johnny Depp,

The I-Pod,

Facebook,

and a guy with autism.

It is a story that intersects with another, the story of the precipitous decline in Barack Obama’s support and of a growing suspicion, found on the left as well as on the right, where it is much more than a suspicion, that the politics of change may have been a slogan with less promise in its future than “Mission Accomplished.” (The imminent passage of a health care bill keeps being predicted, but so far no “victory at last.”)
Meanwhile, Bush’s policies came to seem less obviously reprehensible as the Obama administration drifted into embracing watered-down versions of many of them.

No, they still seem just as reprehensible, that's partly why Obama's approval ratings are down.
Are you really arguing that people are starting to miss Bush because Obama is doing a lot of the same things as Bush? And also, that people are disillusioned with Obama because he's too Bush-like?

How do you come up with this ridiculous argument? People are mad at Obama for being like Bush, whom they hate, and Obama's similarities to Bush make people miss Bush. If people miss Bush, wouldn't Obama's popularity increase in proportion to his similarity to Bush?

And now, right on schedule, Bush has resurfaced (just as I imagined him doing a year ago last September ) to join Bill Clinton in a humanitarian relief effort. He is officially a member in good standing of the ex-presidents club

So was Nixon.

and the longer he lives the more his reputation will be burnished. To be sure, his post-presidency resume is still thin, but we can expect it to be beefed up by good deeds, ceremonial appearances and the activities that will surround the building and opening of his library at Southern Methodist University.

Good deeds? Where the hell would you get that idea? When has Dubya ever done anything for anyone but Dubya or his cronies? What would you consider a "good deed?" Taking a few minutes between collecting 6-figure speaking fees from wingnut organizations to ask people to contribute to Haiti? You wanna see an ex-president doing good deeds? Watch Jimmy Carter build houses for Habitiat. Making nice for the TV cameras after a tragedy doesn't really compare. That's not a good deed, that's PR.

We’ll see Bush the tour guide and Bush the patron of historical scholarship and, perhaps, even Bush the seminar leader.

Tour guide? What the hell? Where would he be giving guided tours? You think if you go to his presidential library, he's gonna be showing folks around?
And patron of historical scholarship? That would be the death-knell of history in America. Seriously, no one, even the most ardent Bushie has ever used the words "Bush" and "scholarship" in the same sentence.

And the judgment of history? He will not go to the top of the list, but neither will he be the figure of fun and derision he seemed destined to be only a year ago.

Oh, hey, don't sell the man short! Let's start clearing some space on ount Fucking Rushmore! Squeeze over, Lincoln!
Of course he will still be the figure of derision he is now. What, is he going to get any less stupid or corrupt in the near future?

You heard it here.

Which is why I will never come here again.

At this point, I'd say I miss Corey Haim more than George W. Bush

Jeezus, You Even Got That Wrong!

Here's Bushie trying to make a self-deprecating little joke about his new, ghost-written book:

The former president started with a funny patter that several attendees related to stand-up. In announcing his book, he joshed: “This is going to come as quite a shock to people up here that I can write a book, much less read one.”

Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0210/33598.html#ixzz0gxrdrpUj

Oh, my God, I almost feel sorry for him!

What you mean to say, George, is ". . .a shock to people that I can READ a book, much less WRITE one."
You got it backwards.

George W. Bush: Making people appreciate Dan Quayle since 1999.

President Obama Honors Fallen Troops.

This is how it should be done.














Watching the current president choking back tears while solemnly honoring the fallen makes me think of the way the previous president behaved.



I hope that Barack Obama's trip to Andrews to watch some of our best young people come home in boxes inspires him to bring all of our troops home.

But I'm not holding my breath.

Where is Joe Wilson When You Need Him?

Dick Cheney

Remember how we all thought that Dick Cheney was really really evil?

Well, it turns out he was so much worse than we thought.







Back in 2002, Cheney wanted to send military troops in to Lackawanna, New York to arrest terrorism suspects. This has been illegal since the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878, but to someone like Dick, that's a minor technicality. So he has torture enthusiast and executive power groupie John Yoo draft a flimsy legal argument saying that sure, what the fuck! Send in the troops!

(Actual John Yoo Quote)

Shockingly, the person who stopped Cheney from violating the law was none other than..
drum roll, please....
George W. Bush! Wait, that can't be right. Hold on.

Ok, I'm being told that that is correct, George W. Bush stopped Cheney from sending US troops into a US city. So, you're welcome, America!

So who were these dangerous criminals who were so formidable, so menacing, that only the military could possibly hope to subdue them?


No, see that's what I thought, too. it probably would take the Marines to pacify a threat of that magnitude.

No, it was these guys:

Yeah.

So why the military? Are you telling me the FBI or the ATF or local police couldn't have collared these punks?
Honestly, I think the Reno Sheriff's Department could have handled them.
So why send in the troops? Why violate the law when it was clearly not necessary?
(FBI handled the arrests just fine, as it turns out)

I have to think that Cheney wanted to send troops into an American city just to prove he could. Or to see whether he could get away with it. Cheney really seemed to think that he was above the law, and this was his chance to prove it. It's really scary to think how close we came to having this happen. Because he would have gotten away with it. Democrats in Congress would have fulminated a bit, then gone right along with Republicans in changing the law to make Cheney's actions retroactively legal. (like they did with warrantless wiretapping)

That's why someone, the Justice Department, Congress, someone needs to investigate and prosecute these bastards for the crimes they actually did commit. Because next time, whoever the next W is, he may say yes.

The Susan Boyle Backlash

It was only a couple months ago when everyone was telling everyone "oh, you've gotta see this singer on youtube, she's amazing"

And she was.

She was really good and everyone loved her.

But now, it seems like everyone on the internet hates her all of a sudden. I keep seeing things like this:

I really hate Susan Boyle !!!

I really don't like Susan Boyle. Why do people like her so much ?

Anyone else sick of hearing about susan boyle?

Im am soooooo sick of hearing about her its unbelevable!

Re:Anyone else sick of hearing about susan boyle?

I agree. Fed up to the back teeth seeing that ugly face everywhere.

This Website is Officially Sick of Susan Boyle

by John Cole

It's official. I'm sick of Susan Boyle. . . .because she had a better-than-average karaoke voice, and whose looks resembled the ghost of Ruhla Lynska.

But someone named Rachel Mardsen is the only one I know of to see the parallel between Susan Boyle and Adolph Hitler.

Yes, that Hitler.

From Susan Boyle To Hitler: Why Some Simply Can’t Hack Fame

by Rachel Marsden

06/04/2009

This is my "super-serious writer" look.





No, wait.

Okay, THIS is my "super-serious writer"look!





















But they made me use this picture for my byline!




So, what could the connection possibly be between the songstress and the genocidal monster?

Apparently, neither handled fame well. Which is, usually, the main criticism leveled at Hitler.

If we should be learning anything from the Susan Boyle meltdown phenomenon, it’s that the average person isn’t cut out for fame. The same holds true for political leaders.
Susan Boyle lived a quiet, simple country life alongside companions of the mainly feline persuasion, until she was thrust into the spotlight on Britain’s Got Talent.

Not to quibble, but she wasn't exactly "thrust" into the spotlight. She sought it out.

. . .she was thrust into the spotlight on Britain’s Got Talent and instantly became the focus of fantasy projections by every single fat slob splayed out on the couch with a Budweiser in-hand. Wiping a tear into their brew, it donned on them that they, too, could become rich and famous if Simon Cowell came knocking at their door, dragged them and their housecoat into the makeup chair, wiped the Cheetos off the corner of their mouth and gave them a shot at superstardom. Boyle doesn’t have the greatest voice, but she’s Sarah Brightman to every chump who likes to think he’s Sinatra on Friday nights at the karaoke bar. If she can get “discovered”, then fame and fortune could just as easily be theirs, as well. Or so the thinking goes.

Okay, have you even heard her sing? No one listened to her sing and thought "that could just as easily be me" You might as well watch the NHL playoffs and think "if only I had kept my skates. . ."

And, as previously mentioned, she was not "dragged into the makeup chair," she auditioned for the show quite willingly.

Oh, and by the way, it's generally considered good manners to at least attempt to disguise one's contempt for the common folk.

The truth is that the “average” person doesn’t have the personality to contend with fame. What exactly is that “x-factor” that predisposes a person to both fame and the ability to properly manage it? It’s precisely two things: Hard knocks over a long period of adjustment, combined with a histrionic personality type (and ideally, but not always, some substance or talent).

Histrionic personality? Doesn't histrionic mean overly emotional?

According to the Cleveland Clinic, histrionic people are “dramatic or theatrical”, have “intense emotions”, need to be “the center of attention”

So, yeah, that type of personality would probably lead one to seek fame, but would it help one to deal with it?













But anyway, what does any of this have to do with Hitler?

The histrionic personality, this “je ne sais quoi” I have just defined,
is what draws us to a person

Um, I believe that the term "je ne sais quoi" refers to that which is undefinable. it translates from french as "I don't know what."

The prevalence of thick-skinned, talented histrionics isn’t limited to pop culture fame. The same rules apply to successful political leaders.

Okay, are we going to get to Hitler now?

Winston Churchill: Rebellious child, speech impediment, largely ignored by his mother. Everyone laughed at him when he warned of Hitler as a possible threat. By the time he became Prime Minister for the first time in 1940, he had been taking abuse in the
federal political arena for 30 years and had obviously developed some good
coping mechanisms. Still has some of the best one-liners in history.

Also a drunk, but I guess some might consider that a "coping mechanism."

George W. Bush: Born wealthy and connected, but made to work. Barbara Bush wasn’t going to be raising any spoiled brats.

Except that she did.

Ran some businesses,

Into the ground

Made difficult moral decisions related to Texas Death Row executions.

"Fry 'em all!" doesn't seem like a difficult moral decision.

Developed a tried and tested character and moral conscience by the time he took office as President.

Also a drunk.

The media hung on his every word. Doubled as Comedian in Chief due to the editing of his reality show by the mainstream media.

The same media which "hung on his every word" also edited him to look foolish. Because unedited, his speeches are like a cross between "I have a dream" and "Ich bin ein Berliner." But the media (who so admired him that they hung on his every word) edited his sound bites so that it appeared he couldn't string together a coherent sentence. That's exactly what happened.

But what about Hitler?

And now, for the most renowned political equivalent of a reality show crack-up:

Adolph Hitler: Spoiled by his mother, failed art school entry exams twice, claims to have had an “easy life”. Joined the German Worker’s Party as official blowhard. Resumed his art career by presiding over the design of the swastika. Pretty much a weak, useless spoiled brat beyond a few odd jobs as a draftsman and painter. What Hitty wants, Hitty gets. And the world paid for it. Relied heavily on his “entourage” to boost his weak ego.

So the slaughter of 6 million Jews, plus Gypsies, Homosexuals, etc. and millions more dead in WWII, that is the equivalent of a "reality show crackup"? And the holocaust was a result of Hitler's cracking under pressure? Like Hitler had no anti-semitic tendancies when he took office, it was only the pressure of the spotlight that caused him to snap? Have you ever heard of Mein Kampf? Hitler was a complete unknown when he wrote that.

And Hitler was coddled by his mother, so he invaded Poland. George W. Bush was raised by a strict mother and he invaded Iraq. I'm not even sure what the logic is supposed to be here. And I sure don't see what the fuck any of this bullshit has to do with poor Susan Boyle. Who is this Rachel Masden, and just how baboon-ass crazy is she? Tomorrow, I attempt to find out.

Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney's memoirs should be published soon, so clear out some space on your bookshelf!


Right about here.





I'd been trying to ignore the Dick Cheney historical revisionism tour as much as possible. There's only so much of "we only used torture because we had to, and also it wasn't torture, and also what's so bad about torture?" I can take. But on the way home from work, I heard the latest doozy:

"If you're going to be engaged in a world conflict such as we are, such as the global war on terrorism, if you don't have a place where you can hold these people, your only other option is to kill them," Mr. Cheney said. "And we don't operate that way."

REALLY? That's your defense for Gitmo? "Hey, we could have just killed them!" Kidnappers everywhere can now look forward to using the Dick Cheney defense, "I didn't kill her, so what's the big deal?" Every time this son of a bitch opens his mouth, he goes to a new level of assholishness. How in the hell did we have this guy running, or co-running, or whatever, the country for 8 fucking years? You know, it's one thing for people to have voted Bush/Cheney in 2000, they may have seemed pretty harmless, but by 2004, everyone knew how destructive these guys were. Every time I see some moron asshole driving around with a Bush/Cheney '04 sticker proudly displayed next to his Jesus fish, I feel like my head's going to explode. Hey, idiot in the Hummer in front of me at the stoplight, are you actually proud of your vote? Do you actually believe that these two dirtbags did anything positive in the last 8 years? You should be scraping off those stickers, hanging your heads in shame and converting to Catholicism so you can be assigned penance. (I'm not Catholic, but I imagine penance must involve some flagellation. At least in this case.)

A Religious Fanatic in the White House

Theologian Richard Neibuhr once said:

"religion is a good thing for good people and a bad thing for bad people."




I can think of no greater illustration of the second half of that adage than George W. Bush

(seen here dreaming of the rapture)

First, there was the report that he had told Palestinian leaders: "I'm driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, 'George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan.' And I did, and then God would tell me, 'George go and end the tyranny in Iraq,' and I did."

Then we heard about the memos from Rumsfeld which were festooned with Biblical passages such as: “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

And: "Whom Shall I send, and who will go for us?" next to pictures if US soldiers.

(see the memo covers slideshow at http://men.style.com/gq/features/topsecret)

Now, former French Premiere Jacques Chirac's memoir reveals what Bush told him about the impending invasion of Iraq: "This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people’s enemies before a New Age begins.”

He apparently also told Chirac that the Biblical creatures Gog and Magog were hard at work in the Middle East and had to be defeated. (link)



Now, in all my years of Sunday School, I do not ever remeber hearing about anyone named Gog or Magog, so I did a little research. Apparently, Magog is mentioned first:
Genesis, 10:2-4: The sons of Japeth: Gomer, and Magog, and Madai.

Then in Ezekiel, Gog appears, and he is the ruler of a country named Magog:

Ezekiel 38:1-4 The word of the LORD came to me:

Son of man, set your face toward Gog, of the land of Magog . . . and prophesy against him

So one would think that, if these two characters lived in Old Testament times, they could hardly be considered a threat in 2003, but that just shows what you know! because they pop up again in Revelations, the last and craziest book of the New Testament:

Rev 20:6-10 And when the thousand years are ended, Satan will be loosed from his prison,and will come out to deceive the nations which are at the four corners of the earth, that is, Gog and Magog, to gather them for battle

And that's about it.So even if you are the sort of true believer that takes every word of the Bible literally, there's really no way to tell who or what these names refer to. So how did they become a part of "end-times" lore? Here's what I was able to find on the Google:

Before about 500 AD, references to Gog and Magog occur many times, in the preserved sermons and letters of St Jerome and other early Christians; whenever Christendom was threatened by invaders, the names of Gog and Magog seem to have been bandied about. There is evidence of a lively debate on just whom was meant by Gog and Magog: when the Scythians threatened, it was the Scythians; when the Huns threatened, it was the Huns; and when the Alans threatened, someone would call the Alans 'Gog and Magog'; so too with the Khazars, the Turks, the Magyars, the Parthians, the Mongols. Marco Polo in the thirteenth century thought that Gog and Magog must be represented by the Mongol horde which had just conquered most of the East . . . And so on,
(source)

So how, exactly George W. Bush came to believe that Gog and Magog were alive and well and in need of stopping, I can't fathom. I guess you would need to journey into the world of Pentecostal theology, and I'm just not willing to risk it.


So we invaded Iraq, got (as of last count) over 4,300 of our finest young people killed, over 30,000 wounded, and God knows how many Iraqis killed and maimed because George thought that God had called on him to fulfill some vague prophecy that seems to exist only in the minds of the snake-handlers and tongue-speakers who think that God speaks to them directly. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you talk to God, that's prayer. If God talks to you, that's schizophrenia.