Friday, January 16, 2015

A Brief Hiatus

The Chaos Compound will be dark for the next two weeks as we are heading out to check on some of our overseas operations. 
The upkeep has been somewhat lacking.

We leave tomorrow for Rome, then off to Venice, Florence, and Milan. So keep an eye on the international news for stories of evildoers being defeated in Italy. That'll be us.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Award Season Continues

And the winner is. . .

. . . Louie Gohmert!

Louie Gohmert has been named "Legislator of the Year!"

Oh, wait. I'm sorry, that's "Texas Legislator of the Year." 

Sorry, that's "EAST Texas Legislator of the Year." Still, though. Still pretty good.

Congressman Louie Gohmert was recognized as the “Deep East Texas Legislator of the Year 2015.”

Ahahahahaha!!! The DEEP East Texas Legislator of the Year? What, you had to narrow it down to a single Congressional district in order for Gohmert to win?

That's like my wife telling me:

"you're my favorite person."

                                              "in this house."

                                                                        "To whom I'm married"


Which she actually did say the other day, and now that I think about it. . .

But anyway. . .

Congressman Louie Gohmert was recognized as the “Deep East Texas Legislator of the Year 2015.”

Wait, 2015? He's the legislator of the year for 2015? The year that has been going on for an entire 15 days? What the hell could he possibly have accomplished in two weeks to earn this "honor?"

The award is given biannually to a legislator that has shown outstanding efforts on behalf of the people of Deep East Texas.
His assistance of veterans and support of the Veterans Administration Clinic in Lufkin were noted during the ceremony. State Senator, Robert Nichols, a past recipient of the award, made the Presentation.


That's it? He supports veterans and the Veterans Administration clinic? Are there a lot of Deep East Texas legislators who don't? That's like getting an award from the humane society for going a whole year without having kicked any puppies.

So, anyway um, congratulations? Louie Gohmert? You must be so proud?

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Dick of the Day

The "Reverend" Raymond Chavez

Mom's Funeral Halted by Pastor Over Affectionate Photos of Two Wives

Seriously, how big a dick does a person have to be to be a dick at someone's funeral?!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_970/north-jersey.jpg

A Colorado pastor halted the funeral of a 33-year-old mother of two over the weekend, reportedly because a memorial slideshow featured kissing and other moments of affection between the woman, Vanessa Collier, and her wife, Christina Higley.
Jeezus! These people are already hurting, already in mourning, and you decide to add insult to injury because seeing two women in love makes you feel all icky? 

Collier's widow, Christina Higley, posted this message on her Facebook page:

Her services were refused because we would not let New Hope Ministries ‘edit’ her life which was a slideshow of our family photos including our engagement and family photos of her and I with our two children! It never crossed my mind that it would be an issue considering we paid to use their facility ONLY. We brought in our own Pastor to facilitate.” (It’s unclear who that pastor was and how Chavez, the pastor for New Hope, came to be the one to halt the service.)

What the fuck? You weren't even involved in the service?I mean, it would have been despicable enough had you been officiating the funeral and stopped midway through and said "I'm sorry, but I can't in good conscience continue presiding over this funeral because the God I believe in is a hateful, petty bigot." But you weren't involved at all. If this was so horrible to you, you could have just not stuck your nose into someone elses's service in the first fucking place, you piece of shit!


Yes, I'm sure God is super-offended by this!

Higley continued, “I’m not asking anyone to go against their own beliefs and religion. I only hoped we could find a house of God to celebrate my beautiful wife and her life (HER WHOLE LIFE) and lay her to rest in God’s arms. Is it too much to ask for? To reflect on how beautiful her life is, with all of her family including myself, her children, her family and closest friends? I lost my best friend, the love of my life and our children lost their mother! How would Ray Chavez explain to them why our family photos were inappropriate for her services to be conducted in that house of God?”

I think he might explain it thusly:

"I am a huge dick."

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

People who are keeping their jobs

1. The cop who wrote this on the internet:

“Let’s just get this over! Race war, Civil, Revolution? Bring it! I’m about as fed up as a man (American, Christian, White, Heterosexual) can get!”
"It’s obviously coming to a boiling point! I say “F*** IT”! I’m ready now! Sooner or later, I would say sooner than later!” [Detective Bobby] Kinch wrote (spelling out the profanity in his post).
“Thought I could make a difference, thought it would get better! See the morale fabric of this Country get so trampled I wanna call it! GAME ON! I think we need a cleansing! Just me? What say you?”

Investigators received a photo of Kinch, apparently taken at his birthday party, of the detective pointing a handgun at a collectible plate of Obama, a gag gift from friends who knew Kinch disliked the president.

Kinch was investigated by the Secret Service, who decided that he was not a credible threat to the President, and he was re-instated to his position to be a credible threat to the citizens of his fair city.

After a long internal investigation and a months-long suspension, Kinch is back working for Metro after a slap on the wrist, continuing to investigate cases.

Because there is pretty much nothing you can do that will get you fired from a police department.

2. The Congressman who compared our nation's Head of State, President Obama, to Hitler. And not favorably.

 You know, we've sadly come to expect the Obama-Hitler comparisons from mouth breathers in tri-corn hats, but this is a sitting member of the United States Congress!
I wouldn't really expect him to lose his job for this, but you'd think there'd be some sort of consequences. Of course, there were none which is hardly surprising in light of. . .

3. The Congressman who associates with David Duke.

That's Congressman Steve Scalise (R-La)

As you might have heard, Scalise has now admitted to giving a speech earlier in his political career to a white supremacist group founded by former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke. Trolling for votes in Louisiana, Scalise thought it was a good idea to speak to one of the most vile hate groups in America.

 Again, I wouldn't expect him to lose his seat in Congress for this, because that would require someone in the GOP leadership to have some sense of common decency, but you'd think he'd at least lose his whip position. Trent Lott lost his whip position for being a racist bag of dicks, why should Scalise be more immune? Oh, right, because the Republican Party has gotten even shittier since then, I forgot!
As far as I know, not one single Republican has denounced Scalise or called for his resignation, because only Democrats are expected to "refutiate" controversial figures.

4. This idiot:

Steve Emerson raised a few eyebrows a couplke of days ago when he made this claim on FOX "News."

“In Britain, it’s not just no-go zones, there are actual cities like Birmingham that are totally Muslim where non-Muslims just simply don’t go in.
“And, parts of London, there are actually Muslim religious police that actually beat and actually wound seriously anyone who doesn’t dress according to religious Muslim attire.”

This inspired a round of mockery on the Twitter with the hashtag #FoxNewsFacts.

In an extremely rare occurrence, Emerson, despite being a FOX contributor, has admitted that he was wrong. And that's the end of that!

And it would be one thing if it was just FOX, but apparently this imbecile has been advising the US government on counter-terrorism stuff.
According to his Wikipedia bio:

Richard Clarke, former head of counter-terrorism for the United States National Security Council, said of Emerson:
"I think of Steve as the Paul Revere of terrorism ... We'd always learn things [from him] we weren’t hearing from the FBI or CIA, things which almost always proved to be true."[41]

And there is a whole section entitled "Select Testimony" which includes a bunch of references like these:

Yes,all these people and more are keeping their jobs, because life is totally fair!

America in a Nutshell

  From Sunday's Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

AJC Poll: Georgians Want Transit, Not Tax

That just sums up America for me.

We want to have things.

We do not want to pay for things.

And we do not see the disconnect.

Georgians overwhelmingly support greater access to buses and trains to improve transportation in the state, but they have very little interest in increasing taxes to pay for them, an exclusive new poll for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution found.
The poll, conducted Monday through Thursday, found nearly 60 percent of Georgians believe improving transportation is important and nearly 70 percent support new bus and rail lines. Yet only 36 percent of respondents said they’d pay higher taxes to fund any kind of transportation project.

This is why we can't have nice things.