Thursday, April 17, 2014

Probably seemed like a good idea at the time

Utah high school teacher who had kids brainstorm genitalia slang gets paid leave

Wait, what? Genitalia slang?

“We had some students who reported to administration that a teacher was having an exercise where they were put into groups, male and female, to come up with names for genitalia,” Weber School District spokesman Nate Taggart told the Standard-Examiner. “These were any names that the kids could come up with, and then they were listed on the board.”

And you didn't see any potential problems with this?
 You didn't think anyone was going to be offended by having your students come up with new versions of "dick" and "pussy?" In UTAH?

When the concerned students told school officials about the exercise, the officials rushed to William’s classroom.

“It was still on the whiteboard, and they had her erase it immediately,” Taggart told the Standard-Examiner. He also noted that the school district found the lesson inappropriate.

Inappropriate? Jeezus Christ, Larry Flynt would find that inappropriate!
Okay, no he wouldn't. But still. . .

A spokesman for the local teachers union, Matt Ogle,

Wait. Ogle? Seriously, Ogle?

Okay, anyway. . .

Matt Ogle, explained that Williams got the idea to have students share colloquialisms for male and female genitalia when she attended a Career and Technical Education conference at which other teachers imparted their favorite classroom strategies.

Wait. There's at least one other teacher using the "weiner/coochie" technique? And she's out there recommending this to other teachers?  And they invite this teacher to Education conferences?

Okay, I must be missing something here, maybe this “Adult Roles and Financial Literacy” class is about sexual anatomy? Or maybe the "Adult Roles" class has a module on behaving like children?

A course description obtained by the Standard-Examiner explains that the course is designed to prepare students to “understand the nature, function and significance of individual and family relationships integrated with general financial literacy.”

Oookay. So much for that idea.

The class offers concurrent college credit to enrolled high school students.

I'm assuming you can get credit from the University of South Carolina?

Or maybe Oregon State?

The union spokesman noted that Williams won’t have students brainstorm about sex organ monikers in the future.

Seems wise.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Huckabee surges ahead in the crazy asshole competition

So apparently there was something called the "Freedom Summit" in New Hampshire whee various Republican 2016 hopefuls paraded theur various delusions for some of the donor class, and out of a lineup which included Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Donald Trump, who would have guessed that Mike Huckabee would have distinguished himself as the nut of the day?

And this is, of course, the position he wants to be in. Huckabee is presumably angling to be this year's Herman Cain. For "candidates" like Huckabee, your best bet is to position yourself as the craziest asshole in the field. That's rthe kind of attention you want. You don't want to actually win the Republican primary, because then you have to do mre work and you're going to lose anyway. You want to finish maybe 2nd or 3rd, do well enough to pretend you were a serious contender and keep yourself fat and happy on wingnut welfare and never have to worry about holding any actual public office again, because that's hard work. Anywayyyy. . . . here's what Huckabee said to put him in first place in the insane idiot race:

“My gosh, I’m beginning to think that there’s more freedom in North Korea sometimes than there is in the United States,” he said in his remarks. “When I go to the airport, I have to get in the surrender position, people put hands all over me, and I have to provide photo ID and a couple of different forms and prove that I really am not going to terrorize the airplane – but if I want to go vote I don’t need a thing.”
I mean, just . . . wow!
More freedom in North Korea? Please feel free to go there!
You do realize that you just talked about how you get to vote, right? You know they don't get to do that in North Korea, right? I mean, I guess they get to go to a polling place and fill out a ballot, but it only has one fucking name on it, and that one name somehow ends up with more votes than there are people in the entire country, but on the other hand, you have to show ID at the airport! Tyranny!!!!

And no one is putting their hands all over you at the airport, no matter how desperately you try to look you might be hiding something down your pants. No TSA agent gets paid enough for that.

And when do you ever have to show more than one form of ID at the airport? I have been on a few airplane flights in my day and my Georgia Driver's License is all I've ever had to show for a domestic flight. My passport is all I ever have to show to fly international. No one is asking you for multiple forms of ID, you liar.

Also, the reason you have to show ID at the airport, but not at the voting booth (for now) is beacuse flying is not a fundamental right of citizenship like voting is (for now).

And all those TSA regulations, the full body scans and pat-downs and what-not, those were all put in by your friends in the Bush Administration. But sure, it wasn't an impingement on your FREDOMMMMMMM until January of 2009, right?

Monday, April 14, 2014

Bill O'Reilly is Ridiculous.

This morning, I heard a clip of Bill O'Reilly on the Jimmy Dore Show podcast. He was talking about students at UConn and Kentucky rioting after basketball games. And, yes, for the record, rioting is bad. People who vandalize property or otherwise commit mayhem in response to a basketball game should be arrested and punished in some way. No one on this blog is going to justify students rioting about basketball. But Bufoon Bill had this to say about the kids today:

". . . mindless vandalism, contempt for authority; 18 people hurt, multiple arrests. There is no political component involved. The mayhem is happening because of a breakdown of respect for property and authority." 

Oh, contempt for authority. Gee, where would the kids learn something like that?

Surely not from a television network that has spent the last 5-plus years slandering the President of the United States? Or from a movement that has spent decades trashing the very idea of government? I mean, my God, it's not like anyone on FOX has spent the last week glorifying the thugs that are defying the authority of the Bureau of Land Management, right? Oh, wait. . .

Sunday, April 13, 2014

They've finally done it.

They've finally done it. The wingnut right has finally found their excuse to take up arms against the government of the United States of America. They've been threatening a "new Civil War" or a "new Amercican Revolution" for about 6 years now, and this weekend they finally found the martyr behind whom they could rally.

 Surprisingly, the martyr is just some moocher asshole who thinks he can pick and choose which laws apply to him and which don't because he doesn't like them.

Cliven Bundy has been grazing his cattle on Federal lands for decades. Which he is certainly allowed to do, except that at some point, he just decided to stop paying the required fees. Why? Mainly because he is an asshole. But also because he has some convoluted theory that since his ancestors grazed cattle on those lands since the 1800's, he should somehow be allowed to use these lands, owned by the American people, for free. Because, like most anti-government extremists, he has no problem taking free stuff from the Federal Government that he hates so much, and for which he has no need, but they should provide him free grazing land because, um. . . 'Murica!

“My forefathers have been up and down the Virgin Valley ever since 1877. All these rights I claim have been created through pre-emptive rights and beneficial use of the forage and the water. I have been here longer."
The freedom to use Federal lands for free, apparently.

Bundy apparently thinks he does not owe any monies to the dang guv'mint, and also claims that he has tried to pay the monies to the local county government which does not own the land, does not manage the land, has no claim to the land, and really wants no part of this.

And he said this:

Bundy is also making sure to remind everyone that he is not opposed to Second Amendmenting his way to a resolution of his legal troubles. In 2013, he told the Las Vegas Sun that “he keeps firearms at his ranch” and is willing to “do whatever it takes” to protect his property. He added that “I abide by all state laws. But I abide by almost zero federal laws.”

Because nothing says "patriot hero" like a dumb fuck redneck who refuses to follow his nation's laws.

I told you that I did the legal thing and the political thing and the media thing and it seems like it’s down to we the people if we’re going to get it done. You know the things like militias. You know, I haven’t called no militia or anything like that, but hey it looks like that’s where we’re at. We got a strong army here, we have to fight, their [unintelligible] to back off.

of course, he absolutely did not do the legal thing, I have no idea what "political thing" he is referring to, and whether or not he "called no militia," the militia has arrived. Dozens of like-minded "git off'n mah land" heroes have assembled in the Nevada desert, brandishing military-style assault weapons and looking for a fight.

the Bureau of Land Management, not wanting to kill a bunch of Americans, even those that are clearly asking for it, backed down, and stopped the confiscation of Bundy's cattle. So the right-wing terrorists are claiming victory. We should expect to see more and more of these emboldened groups of armed assholes showing up whenever they don't get their way, because now they think they can win. Just like when the Mujahadin drove the Soviets out of Afghanistan, making bin Laden and his thugs into heroic figures and attracting new adherents to the cause, more and more of gthe militia-type gun nuts are going to see the fight against the Federal Government of the USA as one that is winnable, which will probably just encourage more of this type of terrorism.

noun: terrorism
  1. 1.
    the use of violence and intimidation in the pursuit of political aims.

Of course, these tea-bagging terrorists are completely delusional, if they think that they would actually stand a chance against the most powerful armed forces the world has ever seen, but hell, how delusional do you have to be to believe the other shit they believe?

Like that Barack Obama favors gay marriage, abortion on demand AND the implementation of Sharia Law!

Or that Barack Obama is a weak-kneed, dithering apologizer AND an iron-fisted tyrant!

Or that the government of the State of Hawaii, the Kapi'olani Hospital, and the Honolulu newspapers all entered into a conspiracy to fake the birthplace of Barack Obama because they knew that a few decades hence, the miced-race son of a single mother with a weird, foreign-sounding name and the face of a teenager would be a formidable candidate for President.

So, yeah, this is happening now.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Are they even trying anymore?

Are they even trying to pretend like their voter suppression laws are addressing any actual problem? Are they even trying to justify them?

Check out Kris "papers, please" Kobach discussing Kansas's voter ID law on some radio show:

Kaufman: I can’t imagine how many widows are voting for their dead husbands in communities like I lived in.

 Kobach: Yeah, it happens all the time

Okay. . .sure. How would that even work, exactly?

Hello, I'd like a ballot, please. Name John Smith.

Okay, ma'am, but, oh - it says here that John Smith is a man and you, ma'am, appear to be a woman.

Oh, yes, I'm Mary Smith. I'm his wid--ahem, his wife.

Ah, well then, by all means here are two ballots. One for you and one for the hubby. Obviously, since no ID is required to vote, I just have to assume that you have his proxy!

That's what you think is happening "all the time?"
Couldn't you at least put some modicum of effort into coming up with some story about a person who looks through the obituaries and jots down the names of recently deceased persons of THE SAME GENDER and then goes to polling places to impersonate those dead persons so he can vote multiple times even though it is like pulling teeth to get people to vote ONCE? It's like you're not even trying to pretend that these laws aren't bigoted.

          Kaufman: And it’s not bigoted.
Kobach: It’s not at all!

Kaufman: You’re not doing it to close the doors on minorities

Kobach: Yeah, exactly. And I think it’s outrageous the argument some make that it hurts minorities. It’s almost a racist argument!

Oh, my mistake. I take it back. Obviously you're not targeting minorities at all. I can tell because you say that you're not targeting minorities at all. Case closed!

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