Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Anchor Babies



Oh, JEB. You're so pathetic. If you're going to use an offensive term like "anchor babies," just fucking own it. Don't try to back-pedal. Mostly because you're even worse at backpedaling than you are at forward-pedaling.

Former Florida Governor and Republican candidate for president Jeb Bush greets supporters at a VFW town hall event in Merrimack, New Hampshire, August 19, 2015.  REUTERS/Dominick Reuter


Have you ever seen a picture of this guy where he doesn't look like he's saying "hunh?'





"My background, my life, the fact that I'm immersed in the immigrant experience, this is ludicrous for the Clinton campaign and others to suggest that somehow I'm using a derogatory term," said Bush, whose wife was born in Mexico and who answered some questions in Spanish, "What I was talking about was the specific case of fraud being committed where there's organized efforts - frankly it's more related to Asian people coming into our country, having children in that organized effort, taking advantage of a noble concept, which is birthright citizenship," he said.


I didn't mean to say anything offensive about the Mexicans. I meant to say something offensive about the Asians!

Of course, JEB wasn't the only one to weigh in on this non-issue:

Immigration experts: Jeb Bush had a point on anchor babies
Politico - 1 hour ago

No. No he doesn't. There is no such thing as an" anchor baby." I can tell you from personal experience that having a baby born on US soil does not provide you with an "anchor" to stay here. My nephew was born in the US. He, like his father, is an American citizen. That did not prevent his mother from being deported. There is NO SUCH THING AS AN ANCHOR BABY.

Not that that's going to stop Republicans from trying to use it as their newest racist bogeyman.

"I'll use the word anchor baby. Excuse me. I'll use the word anchor baby", said Trump.


Republican presidential candidate and Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) told Fox News on Thursday that he's "happy to use" the term "anchor babies" to describe children who were born to noncitizen mothers and granted citizenship by birthright.

Oh, sure. Like you mean someone whose parents were here on student visas and had a baby who was granted US citizenship due to his having been born on US soil, even though neither of his parents were Americans or even permanent residents? Like, say, oh, I don't know. . . you?




You know,  outreach to Hispanics really involves more than just saying "we're reaching out to Hispanics."
Same goes for outreach to women.
Fortunately, it doesn't look like Republicans are going to learn either lesson anytime soon.


Monday, August 24, 2015

Wait, Trump supporters are racists?





Donald Trump may have to hold his next rally in Nuremburg.


Trump Supporter Screams ‘White Power’ At Mostly-White Alabama Rally

With Trump’s outlandish claims that Mexicans are criminals, threats against a black civil rights movement, and unapologetically bigoted attitude, it was bound to happen – someone in the audience screamed “White Power” about 7 or 8 times.




The reason I was even aware that Trump was having a rally in Alabama is because the restaurant we were in on Friday had CNN  playing in the background and they were covering this white-shoed clusterhump the way ESPN covers the fucking Superbowl. There was no other story, just breathless "oh my Gawd, Trump's almost here" fanboy masturbation and interviews with random Trump fans occasionally interrupted by promos for the upcoming interview with Trump himself! He couldn't have paid for more fawning coverage.

 But anyway, one of Trump's supporters started chanting "White Power" so I'm sure Trump will be called upon to "refudiate" this guy just as strongly as he did the two volunteer Brown Shirts who beat up a Mexican man in Trump's name.


“It would be a shame. . . . I will say that people who are following me are very passionate. They love this country and they want this country to be great again. They are passionate.”





Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Stupid is as stupid says

Well, the 2016 presidential campaign is still in its infancy, but I'm pretty sure we already have a winner for dumbest thing said by any candidate this round.




Donald Trump Claims 14th Amendment Is Unconstitutional: ‘It’s Not Going To Hold Up In Court’


http://rs1236.pbsrc.com/albums/ff459/shipsgifs/23m76t5.gif~c200

Oy!
An amendment to the Constitution is "unconstitutional."
I can't even come up with an analogy for how absurd that is.
I got nothing.


Oh, wait. Huckabee might have just topped him!

Huckabee: Martin Luther King Would Be ‘Appalled’ by #BlackLivesMatter


Okay, first of all, fuck you, Huckabee.

https://theselvedgeyard.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/johnny20cash20finger202.jpg?w=700


Fuck you for invoking Rev. King to try to discredit black activists. And second, fuck you in general.

Seriously, though? Dr. King would be "appalled" by people who share not only his goals but his commitment to non-violence? How do you figure that?

Never mind, please don't answer that.



Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Conservatives and Child Abusers

(Trigger warning: child sex abuse)


Remember Justin Harris? He was the Arkansas state representative or whatever who adopted a couple of little girls, then decided that parenting is really hard, so he gave them away like kittens to a man who sexually abused them. Or, as he put it, he "re-homed" them, because their behavioral problems were obviously the result of demon possession and he ain't no exorcist.Oh, and he blamed DHS for not letting him return the two girls, even though he kept the receipt. Because none of this could possibly be his fault.
Anyway, you'd think that after this whole sordid tragedy became public, Harris would have slunk away into anonymity. Maybe even stopped being the proprietor of a goddamm pre-school. But, no. You have under-estimated the courage of Justin Harris.
Courage? you might ask, through rage-clenched teeth, courage?
Apparently.

Justin Harris Getting “Courage” Award Tonight From Ted Cruz After Rehoming Adopted Daughters With Rapist


Which just goes to show ya, for righties, it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you say the right things, hate the right people, fight for the right team. Whatever horrible deeds you may have committed can be forgiven, justified, rationalized, or overlooked as long as you condemn the misdeeds of others. Especially misdeeds committed by anyone on the Left.

Need another example?


Jim Bob And Michelle Duggar Want To Personally Counsel Sex Abuse Victims In New Reality Show

AUTHOR:  AUGUST 18, 2015 4:04 PM

Seriously.
You'd think that they would shun the public eye after admitting that they helped cover up their son's sexual abuse of their daughters. Or at least, you'd think that sexual abuse would be the last topic they would want to address. But no. They've actually found a way to try and turn this sick moral cesspool  into a new revenue stream. And a way to keep being famous!

Counseling sex abuse victims? Where the hell do they get the balls? And I shudder to think of what kind of "counsel" they would be dishing out, seeing as how the advice to their daughters consisted basically of "look on the bright side," "maybe pray?" and "snitches get stitches."

There is no low to which you can not sink and still be treated as positive role models by someone like Mike Huckabee. As long as you are on the Right, it doesn't matter what you do, only what you say.


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Monday, August 17, 2015

Bad Ads -- Food Sex

It's becoming a disturbing trend.

Carl's JR/Hardee's has been doing it for years.






Trying to make the eating of a hamburger into an act of unbridled eroticism. Which must be working, because they've been doing this for years. I have to imagine that a lot of teenage boys are getting very disappointed when they bite into a burger and find it to be nearly entirely unlike sex with Kate Upton. ( I assume.)

And the green M&M has been around for a while.




But it seems to be getting worse.

Recently, Payday candy bars started running ads implying that their peanutty treats have genitalia.




And that they want to engage in some mutual exhibitionism with you.




Then there's this Klondike Ice Cream Kandy Bar ad which. . . well, see for yourself.






I don NOT want to think about the food I'm about to eat having sex with other food. How is that not creepy? And you're eating their baby? The Klondike guy and the candy bar lady get it on and then she gets pregnant, delivers a half-ice cream / half chocolate bar baby and you eat that?

Then there's this:




They're just coming right out and saying that a chicken fucked a box of french-fries and the abomination of "chicken fries" is the unnatural, ungodly bastard offspring of this coupling. And you should eat it.
Well, no thank you.
I don't want to think about the chicken I'm eating maybe having had sex with another chicken, let alone the level of depravity with which this hen hath debased herself. - conceiving the spawn of, not just another species, but a different classification of nature, a plant which is, by the way DEAD! It's been chopped up and fried. And she has lain down with this tuberous corpse and produced its ungodly spawn? She should be burned at the stake! Or at least on a rotisserie, maybe with a nice garlic and sage rub, after being brined overnight? Mmmmmmmm. . .