Monday, July 21, 2014

So, did I miss any stupid while I was gone?

Haha, of course I did!

Duh!

I missed Republicans trying to find ways that a plane getting shot down by a missle was somehow Barack Obama's fault.

I missed Congressman Phil Gingrey a doctor, for God's sake, fearing that Honduran refugees might be bringing the ebola virus with them, because the easiest way to the texas border is apparently via Sierra Leone?

I missed a wingnut nurse lady suing a hospital for not hiring her to do d job she refused to do.

But I got home just in time for this

Why we DON’T use Birth Control

An areticle written by a group calling itself, I kid you not, "Catholic Sistas."

http://across2u.com/sister_act_cms_big.jpg 
You'd think so, but no!

They are, however, a group of Catholic women who felt compelled to post "reasons" for their decision to eschew birth control. Now one would think that the "reason"  would be "cuz I'm Catrholic," but no, these ladies have put a lot more "thought" into this issue.



We do not use birth control…….

IMG_311613476892886


Right. That is true. That is why I don't ever exercise because lack of muscle tone is not a disease. And I never read or watch television because boredom is not a disease. Basically, anything that is not a disease I really see no reason to avoid. Why comb my hair? Slovenliness is not a disease/


“Because observing and charting my fertility is empowering!”



In what way?
 **crickets**

Oh, is "empowering" just some buzz word you've heard that you think will make you seem smart?



IMG_312006373595192 

Um, you know birth control doesn't actually break your ladyparts, right? 

Oh, you don't? 


20140716_224431 



Really? No foreign objects?
http://afflictor.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/vibe.jpg


“Because my fertility is my superpower.”




That may be the saddest sentence I have ever read. Fertility a superpower? Because, compared to a sea turtle, you really suck at fertility, and no one thinks a sea turtle is a superhero.


“Because regularly shooting my body up with extra hormones would make it a lot harder to be a reasonable, thoughtful, and logical human being.”

 
http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/blogs/6a00d8341bf67c53ef014e6029dda4970c-800wi.jpg
Um, no. Not really.



“Because I really don’t think it’s healthy for my body to think it is perpetually pregnant.”
 
Yes, much healthier to actually BE perpetually pregnant!
Also, what you "really think" isn't really all that persuasive compared to what doctors and science people really think.

 
“Because I want my husband to actually be involved in our decision to have sex and know that I’m not carrying the weight alone and that he is not just using me for sex.”


So, wait. Do you normally not include your husband? What, do you just wait for him to fall asleep and then mount him, or. . .? How does this work, exactyl? Seriously, tell me how this works, Slowly. In great detail!



IMG_327073514950640 

I don't think you know what the word "genius" means. Genius exists between your ears, not between your legs.

IMG_312184886168434

Um, okay.
I don't, um. . .
I don't see what that has to do with, um. . .
I gotta think that maybe the husband might be a bit happier if, every time he asked "hey, hon, how about we. . ." you're not having to respond with "not this week, dear!" Or "I'd love to, but Gah, another baby?"

“Because if I didn’t want to have a baby, I just wouldn’t have sex.”

Wow. The last of the red-hot lovers, eh? What a wonderful life you must have, constantly having to make that false choice.

“Because I cannot imagine one of my children not existing.”


Yeah, because if you take birth control, your kids stop existing, just fading away like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future.


“Because having a family is on my bucket list. And infinitely more fun and rewarding than anything else.”

Maybe learning the difference between birth control and sterilization should also be on that list?


“Because I don’t need anything to control me, I can control myself.”

Um, you can control your ovulation? You can, by sheer power of will, prevent your fertilized ova from implanting in your uterine wall? Damn, that is impressive. Suck on that, Tibetan monks!



IMG_327000643765339

Yeah, that's pretty much what normal couples do, too.



The coolest thing I saw in Mexico


It's hard to decide what was the coolest thing I saw in Mexico.

And I would think it would be easy because we saw sea turtles.


http://missjheintz.edublogs.org/files/2012/12/green-seaturtle-1-1q68zk6.jpg

Not in the water.

We got to watch them crawl up on to the beach, drag themselves across the sand, dig a burrow, bury themselves. lay their eggs then drag themselves back to the water again.

 http://blog.conservation.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/green-turtle-returning-to-sea.jpg



 The whole process takes about 3 hours, which is admittedly, a bit over long. Sea turtles have very little sense of showmanship, but still. Pretty freakin' cool.


They don't come out until after dark and lights disturb them, so I don't have any decent photos to show you. Also, I'm not sure which of the 7 types of sea turtles they were, but they were about 3+ feet long and seemed to be mostly grey.

In the water, a sea turtle is a beautiful, graceful, elegant creature. On the land, not so much.

It's a little bit sad to watch them drag themselves clumsily along the sand, seemingly exhausting themselves with the effort. We tried to tell them "that's far enough, Mrs Turtle. The people are just going to dig them up and re-bury them somewhere safer anyway. Just go ahead and lay them right there." but you know how turtles are. They always have to do things their own way.

Anyway, under most circumstances, that would be an easy winner for the title "coolest thing I saw," but then we saw a guy doing this:









So it's a tough call!

Friday, July 11, 2014

One last stupid person

Well, we're heading off to Mexico for a week or so, hopefully Sean Hannity will let us back in without shooting us too much!




Release the movie quotes!

Yeah, of course Hannity's down there defendin' our border along with all the other squirrelly fruitcakes who decided that since it worked so well at Bundy Ranch, they might as well   take their guns down to the Rio Grande to start enforcing their own laws.

But that's not the stupid person I'm talking about.
This is the stupid person I'm talking about:

Minnesota House candidate makes AIDS, 'Gay Agenda' campaign issues


I know, I know, there's sadly nothing surprising about a Republican candidate making the (scary music) "gay agenda!!!" a campaign issue. It's depressingly predictable. But this guy, oh this guy is special!




Bob Frey 
Businessman Bob Frey

But when questioned about his position on social issues, Frey added that it “does certainly need to be addressed for what it is. It’s not about the gay agenda but about the science and the financial impact of that agenda. It’s more about sodomy than about pigeonholing a lifestyle.”   

Did anyone understand any of that? 

http://i1.wp.com/listverse.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Screen-Shot-2013-04-29-at-7.43.10-PM.jpg?resize=632%2C353
I heard sodomy! Then he lost me.


But anyway, that's not even the stupid part.
This is the stupid part:
Frey then explained his view: “When you have egg and sperm that meet in conception, there’s an enzyme in the front that burns through the egg. The enzyme burns through so the DNA can enter the egg. If the sperm is deposited anally, it's the enzyme that causes the immune system to fail. That’s why the term is AIDS – acquired immunodeficiency syndrome.”

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5965351168/h1AE24BB5/

Oh. My. GAWD!!!

First of all, is there such an enzyme? Well, I did a little research and it looks like there might be. Let's just say that I now know way more about sperm than I ever wanted to and I'm still not certain.  Does that enzyme somehow cause AIDS?

http://www.happyhelmraths.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Airplane-gif.gif

How would that even work?

How would an enzyme that eats through a cell membrane cause immune system failure?

And if somehow, an enzyme eating through the cell membranes of the anal cavity caused immune system failure, it seems logical that it would do the same thing in the vagina.

Oh my God, I don't want to think about this anymore.

 comedy animated GIF

Anyway, the point is, it's 2014, not 1983. We know what causes AIDS. It's a virus. There's no black magic that causes sperms to turn lethal in the butt.
And in the 21st Century, we know that two dudes in San Francisco having buttsex doesn't cause AIDS, it cause God to send tornadoes to Kansas or hurricanes to Florida. Geez, read a science book, why dontcha?

Anyway, that's it for me for a little while. See you soon.

Viva Mexico!

And Deutschland Uber Alles!

http://www.haaretz.com/polopoly_fs/1.298625.1277657933!/image/93508767.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_640/93508767.jpg


Thursday, July 10, 2014

Stupid people say stupid things

And these are elected officials.


Stupid person # 1:

Texas’ Abbott: ‘Drive around’ to look for dangerous chemicals

Updated


http://www.troll.me/images/trololo/im-sorry-what.jpg
Um, why should we drive around looking for dangerous chemicals?

. . . because Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott (R), the frontrunner in this year’s gubernatorial race, declared that state records on dangerous chemical locations can be withheld from the public. The Texas Tribune reported yesterday on the state A.G.’s rationale.

 http://sheilamyjo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Um-what.jpg

Why would you not? Why would you not want people to know what chemicals are being stored where? Why would you withhold that information from the public?

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vH5ifCttKC0/U2E2gSjLrGI/AAAAAAAAACI/24NKXnyCabo/s1600/green-money-bag-hi.png 

Oh, right!

But anyway, that's not even the stupid part. Here's the stupid part:

 
Republican Attorney General Greg Abbott, under fire for blocking public access to state records documenting the location of dangerous chemicals, said Texans still have a right to find out where the substances are stored. 
 
As long as they know which companies to ask.
 
“You know where they are if you drive around,” Abbott told reporters Tuesday. “You can ask every facility whether or not they have chemicals or not. You can ask them if they do, and they can tell you, ‘Well we do have chemicals or we don’t have chemicals,’ and if they do, they tell which ones they have.”
 http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FwUkZhTGmVY/UfB05_rXnhI/AAAAAAAABRQ/ENfO3c4NZrs/s400/images+(1).jpg


 Seriously, you want people to drive around to various companies, walk up to the gate, ask for the manager and ask him to reveal trade secrets to you? Seriously?


 Former Boeing worker Bob Matetich locks a gate as he makes his rounds as a security guard, a job that pays $11.50 an hour. He was unemployed for a full year after his layoff in 2001. 
You're not getting past this guy.

I mean, sure, technically they could tell you. But they fucking won't. These companies won't even tell Congress what kinds of chemicals they use. Under subpoena! They just say "trade secrets, bitches!" and walk away laughing. You think they're going to give that information to Joe Citizen? You're a fucking idiot if you think theere's any chance of that happening. 


Stupid person # 2:

 Republican state Sen. Brandon Smith of Kentucky has a new theory on why climate change couldn’t possibly be slowly warming the earth’s temperature, resulting in legions of effects to the environment and its inhabitants.

Republican? Kentucky? Oh, you just know this is gonna be good!

 
 “As you sit there in your chair with your data, we sit up here in ours with our data and our constituents and stuff behind us. 

No. No, you don't get your own data. There is one set of data. And then there is a bunch of numbers made up by some shills on the Koch payroll. Also, might want to leave out the fact that in addition to phony data you also have "stuff" behind you.

http://media0.giphy.com/media/Rhhr8D5mKSX7O/giphy.gif  

But anyway, that's not even the stupid part. 

This is the stupid part:

I don’t want to get into the debate about climate change, but I will simply point out that I think in academia we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that,” said the senator in a video posted by the weekly publication. “Yet there are no coal mines on Mars. There are no factories on Mars that I’m aware of.”

http://media.tumblr.com/72fe1c3924334b8bccd9c0c58eed47f8/tumblr_inline_n87eko2iHi1qlvn8g.gif 

 
 The temperature on Mars. The same as the Earth? You're serious?

On average, the temperature on Mars is about minus 80 degrees F (minus 60 degrees C). In winter, near the poles temperatures can get down to minus 195 degrees F (minus 125 degrees C). A summer day on Mars may get up to 70 degrees F (20 degrees C) near the equator, but at night the temperature can plummet to about minus 100 degrees F (minus 73 C).  (http://www.space.com/16907-what-is-the-temperature-of-mars.html)
And you say that "academia" is in agreement with you? Academia?

http://ofmusingsandwonderings.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/you-keep-using-that-word1.jpg 

Sure, nobody will dispute that. Nobody who has the vaguest realization that Mars is quite a b it further from the Sun and therefore can not help but be considerably colder than Earth will dispute that. Or, to put it more succinctly, no one who ever took 5th grade science  class will dispute that, which kind of leaves out "academia." 

http://ruadouche.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/if-my-calculations-are-correct-youre-an-idiot.jpg

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

So, from what other laws can someone get religious exemption?

Because, post-Hobby Lobby, it seems that  anyone can claim some deeply-held religious belief and exempt themselves from the law.

Well, not anyone, Alito specifically said that the ruling wouldn't apply to Jehova's Witnesses and their anti-transfusion stance, but really, why not? If a mainstream Catholic or Protestant can get a religious exemption, wouldn't the equal protection clause require that Jehova's Witnesses or Christian Scientists, or Scientologists be allowed to deny their employees coverage for transfusions, or psychiatric care, or any medical care at all, as the case may be?
And religious-based colleges are already claiming that they should be exempt from anti-discrimination laws. (here)

So, what other laws are "religious" people going to exempt themselves from?

There are laws against beating children, right? What if some parents decide that their religion commands them to beat their kids? With a rod? The Bible says "spare the rod, spoil the child" or something like that, right? So what's to stop a parent from claiming that their religious beliefs exempt them from having to follow the law against child abuse?

What about those cases that come up now and again where some loonie parents let their kids die because their religion forbids them to use doctors or medicine? Couldn't they claim that their religious beliefs, stupid as they are, trump the laws of the land?

Or do religious exemptions only go to corporations?