Tuesday, March 31, 2015

People Who Will Never be President - Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Carly Fiorina


Carly Fiorina says chance of presidential run 'higher than 90 percent'

Odds of success: less than zero.

So you were unable to buy yourself a Senate seat from California and you figured, "what the hell, might as well take a shot at the White House?" Well, hjave fun, but let me just explain why that isn't going to work.

First of all, you have exactly one selling point - your business experience. Which might actually get you some votes in a Republican primary if that experience wasn't running Hewlet-Packard head-first into the ground. Also, the teabagger base thinks they hate "fat-cat businesspeople." I know, I know, they consistently vote for politicians whose policies further enrich these very fat cats and "unburden" them from pesky regulations and laws and rules and what-not, but if you actually listen to these slack-jawed, heavy-lidded colonial cosplayers, they really think they're voting Republican to, in part, stick it to the man!

Also, while we're on the subject of your time at HP, you earned the nickname "Fire 'em All Fiorina" by shipping jobs overseas as fast as you could. That's not going to play well with pretty much any demographic. Especially since you laid American workers off AFTER they had agreed to take pay cuts, then made them train their replacements.

And that, no matter what else may be on your resume', is the distillation of your business experience.
Your political experience consists of having held zero elected offices, throwing away millions of your own dollars in a quixotic bid to unseat Barbara Boxer, and the "Demon Sheep" ad.

But if you still have any doubt, here's the number one reason why you, Carly Fiorina, will never be President:

Bill Kristol thinks you can win.


Bill Kristol: Email May Defeat Hillary — or So May Carly Fiorina

Tuesday, 31 Mar 2015 05:09 PM
 But hey, look on the bright side. He's been wrong about everything his entire life, he's bound to get one right one of these days!

Spotted at Target



Wednesday, March 25, 2015

My New Hero

Or "shero" if you prefer. I hate the term "heroine" because it just sounds demeaning or maybe infantilizing, like saying "hero-ette" or something, like a cute little mini-hero?

Anyway, my new hero is Indian activist Sampat Devi Pal.


This bad-ass lady is the founder of The Gulabi Gang, a band of Indian women who, well let's just let her tell you.

"Yes, we fight rapists with lathis [sticks]. If we find the culprit, we thrash him black and blue so he dare not attempt to do wrong to any girl or a woman again,"


Devi first discovered the power of the stick in the 1980s when she used it against a neighbour who abused his wife. Devi’s intervention had the desired result and the recalcitrant husband was forced to mend his ways.

And she is far from alone:
Devi’s model of delivering alternative justice inspired a movement that now boasts of a network of 400,000 women - dressed in pink sarees and all wielding a stick - across 11 districts of India’s largest province of Uttar Pradesh.


Four Hundred Thousand!


And of course the tragic part of the story is that such an organization is needed. But of course it is.
And not just in India. 
There should be chapters of this organization in every city, town, and village in the world until they are no longer needed.

This parade should be replicated on every street in existence.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

People Who Will Never Be President - Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Donald Trump

Do we really even have to bother with this one?

Donald Trump is not going to run for President.
Oh, sure, he may form an exploratory committee, he may hire a campaign manager, some staffers, maybe even run some ads. But he'll be out of the race before the first primary. Because he loves talking about how he "would have won easily" had he decided to enter the race and he's not going to actually run so that the three people who still take him seriously can see how ridiculous that claim is.


And yes, he's shut down "The Apprentice" in order to pursue this pipe dream, but I gotta think that's probably because someone told him that the writing was on the wall, that people were finally sick of this stupid stupid program and he didn't want the embarrassment of being cancelled, so this way he can say that he walked away of his own volition in order to spend more time pretending to run for President.

But even if he did run, who the hell would vote for this guy? His only supposed qualification  is that he's supposed to be this great businessman and how many times has this twit had to declare bankruptcy? Three? Four? I can't keep track.

I don't understand Donald Trump at all. Here's a guy who said to himself  "I'm going to be remembered, undeservedly, as a great businessman, a titan of industry. What kind of bullshit legacy is that? When I'm gone, I want to be remembered as the buffoonish blowhard who threw in his lot with Orly Taitz and Jenny McCarthy and spouted absurdly stupid conspiracy theories at any microphone I could find.


 I want to be looked back upon as a man with absolutely no dignity or sense of shame. A man who would boast about what his investigators were supposedly unearthing in Hawaii and then never revealed what that supposedly was because it was obviously nothing and got angry when asked about it. When people think of the name Donald Trump I want them to think of the pathetic clown with the most childish approach to foreign policy since. . . um. . . ever, I guess.


But anyway, whether he runs or not, Donald Trump will never ever ever ever be president.

Headline of the Day

Ted Cruz is Going on Obamacare as Wife Takes Goldman Sachs Leave

With his wife Heidi taking leave to help her husband campaign for president, the Cruzes are leaving the $20,000 per year coverage she enjoyed at Goldman. "We will presumably go on the exchange and sign up for health care and we're in the process of transitioning over to do that," Cruz told the Des Moines Register's Jennifer Jacobs.