This is Matt Stephens. He knows things.
Not really sure how promiscuity and femininity are mutually exclusive, but I guess I will defer to Matt on this one, seeing as how he is so wise. How wise? Well, wise enough to be a person who helps other people with advice about how to live their lives.
How did he attain this wisdom? What life struggles has he overcome, what triumphant heights has he reached? Glad you asked.
He used to be a little chubby and now he's not.
Really.
I believe the experiences I’ve had in life have provided me with a unique perspective that could be as valuable to others as it has been for me, so I want to share it.
I’ve hit “rock bottom” and climbed my way back up. I’ve gone from being 40 pounds overweight to placing in bodybuilding competitions.
I know, it's hard to believe, but Matt does provide us with photographic proof.
Left: The day I hit rock bottom. Right: Three years later—with my whole life turned around.
Can you believe it? I mean, you hear the term "rock bottom" thrown around a lot by recovering addicts and whatnot, but holy Christ, to see a man who has come back from that! Just three years ago, this man was kinda chubby! Somehow, he fought against the instinct to give up, resisted the siren call of the sweet relief of death and now, miraculously he is no longer chubby! He's in good physical condition! So of course he's someone who should be telling women what kind of sex life to have!
Today, I’m an engineer for a multi-billion dollar corporation.
Wow. I am also employed by a multi-million dollar corporation. Probably most of us are. Let's all got out there and tell women not to do sex!
Today, I’m an engineer for a multi-billion dollar corporation. I’ve placed in multiple bodybuilding competitions and won Mr. Tuscaloosa 2017 in classic physique. I set the Alabama state record in powerlifting for the 220 lb. weight class in all lifts in 2015. I’ve read over 30 books.
Wait, 30? As in THIRTY books? Is that even possible? Are there that many books? God, the wisdom you must have accumulated! Has there ever been such a combination of brains and brawn before?
I’ve read over 30 books. Some of them I’ve read multiple times.
Okay, well now you're just being unrealistic. You can't read a book more than once. Everyone knows that.
Still, though. You've piqued my interest. I would very much like to read the sage writings of Matt Stephens. Have you an archive?
Oh, you do? Splendid!
MATT STEPHENS’ ARCHIVES
2018
Let's see. . . There's this pearl of wisdom from last month:
HOW TO DEAL WITH A PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSON
Then there's one from November:
3 CORE ASPECTS OF LIFE: A FORMULA FOR IMPROVEMENT
Then one from July:
HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION WHEN DATING: A NEW PERSPECTIVE
And then. . . . um. . . that's it? There's three articles? In your "archive?" THREE?
You know, I'm starting to think this Matt Stephens guy may not be the enlightened guru I had been led to believe.
