Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Biden is Just Weird

So everyone on Twitter was having a good laugh about the "Corn Pop" story. Although no one pointed out that Biden really isn't the good guy in the story. He sees this Corn Pop dude on the diving board without a swim cap and instead of saying "excuse me, but you need to put on a swim cap before you jump in the pool since you have pomade in your hair," he insults the guy,, calls him "Esther," and says "either you come down or I'll go up there and drag you down!" You're the dick in this story, Joe. I mean, sure, Corn Flake over-reacted if he threatened you with a straight razor, but in your own version of the story, you're the asshole. This is not a story that speaks well of you. Do you not get that?

But of course, this being a Joe Biden story, it gets weirder. When you Google "Biden lifeguard story," you get this article from the Washington Post:

What a lifeguarding job on the black side of Wilmington taught Joe Biden about race

Image result for buckle up gif

Biden, who declined to comment for this story, has recently apologized for giving “the impression that I was praising” segregationists. 

He gave the impression that he was praising segregationists by praising segregationists.

In speeches, he emphasizes his tenure as second-in-command to the first black president while speaking in personal terms about his efforts to connect with African Americans.

Yeaaaah. . . I don't think you necessarily get a lot of not-racist points for accepting the cushiest prestigious job available from a President who happened to be black. I would accept the vice presidency from well not Trump, probably, but almost anyone else. You get to travel around, go to a few funerals, break the occasional tie in the Senate and they pay you a nice salary and let you live n an observatory. Pretty sweet!

Image result for observatory 

Something like this, I assume.

I should probably take a moment here to say that I don't think Joe Biden is a racist. Maybe he is, I don't know him. But I have no reason to think that he would be.
Anyway, let's continue.

His effort to personally wrangle with matters of race began even before his controversial turn on the county council, back when he was a 19-year-old teenager trying to figure out what he could do to bridge the racial divide.
His solution was to become a lifeguard at a predominantly African American pool in Wilmington.

Image result for oh come on

Look, I'm sure that's what Joe told you, but come on!

No one becomes a lifeguard to "bridge the racial divide." It's a summer job. A summer job where you get to sit around in the sun all day watching girls in bikinis. And  they let you wear shorts and you get a whistle.

Image result for i always get a whistle when i wear shorts

Also, if your goal is to "bridge the racial divide" between yourself and your African-American peers, taking a job where you get to order black kids around, blow a whistle at them, and kick them out if they don't obey you seems a little. . . counterproductive?

“I was not out marching. I was not down in Selma or anywhere else,” Biden once said. “I was a suburbanite kid who got an exposure to black America in my own city.”

And really, isn't that just as good?

I guess not, considering that in the past - including the very recent past - you have claimed that you did get involved in the Civil Rights movement.

Biden falsely claims he was part of the civil rights movement

During a campaign stop at Limestone College on Wednesday afternoon, Joe Biden repeated his false claim that he participated in the civil rights movement.
“A lot of folks like me come out of the civil rights movement,” Biden said
Going all the way back to 1983, then-Sen. Biden told individuals attending the Maine Democratic Conference that he "participated in sit-ins to desegregate restaurants and movie houses" in his home state of Delaware.
During a Martin Luther King Day breakfast in 2014, Biden said he "got involved in desegregating movie theaters."
In February 2019, Biden told an audience at a book event in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, that he "came out of the civil rights movement."
Later, in July, he took a step further at a San Francisco fundraiser, saying he "got involved in the civil rights movement as a kid."

So, you know, six of one, half a dozen of the other. Some kids participated in sit-ins, some sat in the high chair with a whistle, throwing black kids out of swimming pools for not obeying him. Tomato, to-MAH-to!

They loved pranking Biden. The cost to enter the pool was 10 cents, but a tiny, smack-talking teenager known as Corn Pop wanted to try a way to get his friends in free: distract the white lifeguard.
Corn Pop got Biden’s attention by talking about his mother, Smith recalled. Biden blew his whistle and demanded Corn Pop show him some respect. Meanwhile, Corn Pop’s friends jumped the fence, hopped into the water and laughed over their declared victory.

That's not a prank.
That's just a money-saving technique.
Getting into the pool for free isn't funny, it's just practical because now you can spend that 10 cents on egg creams and soda pop or whatever teens spent their money on back in Joe's day. Maybe a dime bag actually cost a dime back then,. Who knows?

Also, it's a really great way to bridge the racial divide. Blow your whistle and demand the the black kid respect your authoritah!

Image result for respect my authoritah

 Meanwhile, Corn Pop’s friends jumped the fence, hopped into the water and laughed over their declared victory.
“They were testing him,” recalled Maurice Pritchett, known as Marty, who served as a lifeguard on the shift with Biden. “He had to earn their respect.”
Honestly, I think they just wanted to go swimming and didn't want to pay or didn't have any money. Not everything a black kid in Wilmington did was necessarily aboiut Joe Biden.

Biden has said he was the only white lifeguard there at the time, but his friends from the pool recall that there were a handful of other white lifeguards on staff.

That's our Joe! Why let the facts get in the way of a good semi-coherent story?

Biden took a special liking to Smith, a reform school student who was around six years his junior. Smith had a temper and a stutter and found it difficult to control either. But he said Biden had a solution.
“I used to get bullied for having a stutter,” he recalled Biden telling him. “Look into the mirror and practice talking. That’s how I got rid of mine.”

Image result for oh for god's sake gif

He had difficulty talking and your advice to him was to . . . practice talking? Seriously?
Hey, Joe. I have difficulty playing the piano. Do you think maybe I should practice playing the piano? Because I never would have thought of that myself. I needed the Sage of Scranton to figure that out for me.

Biden’s next move was to become a politician. He wrote that he felt he could push an agenda that would address unfair treatment in black communities, helping to bring the state’s conservative Democratic Party into the fold of the civil rights movement. But he could not do so without black votes.
He went to the Bucket to look for Smith.
“Mouse, you working?” Biden asked Smith one day.
Biden wanted to campaign in the projects and asked Smith to be his bodyguard. 

Image result for facepalm gif

Oh my God. That is so Biden! "I really want to reach out to black voters. Hey Mouse, will you come along and protect me from those scary black people?"

The angry phone calls from white voters came in, but Biden’s plan worked. He won the election. Days later, in a glowing profile of him in the News Journal, Biden was described as the handsome, progressive new face of the state Democratic Party. The article correctly speculated that in two years, at 29, he’d run for the U.S. Senate.
In the story, though, Biden showed a moderation that his opponents — and some of his supporters — did not expect after he campaigned on a civil rights agenda. Biden told the reporter he would not be a “crusading rabbit” who would make excuses for African Americans because of systemic racism.

Okay, first of all - classic moderate Dem bait-and-switch. Running on a civil rights platform, winning on a civil rights platform , then assuring white voters that you aren't going to really be all that worked up about the whole civil rights thing.

And second - what the fuck is a "crusading rabbit?"

I Googled it, and this was all I could find. So yeah, good move, Biden. You definitely don't want to be that.

“I have some friends on the far left, and they can justify to me the murder of a white deaf mute for a nickel by five colored guys,” he told the Wilmington News Journal in 1970. “They say the black men had been oppressed and so on.

Image result for what the fuck gif

Who? Who do you know that would justify a heinous crime like that? That is a really horrible straw-man argument. Unless you have met characters from Ben Garrison comics or the 1/2 Hour News Hour, you do not know anyone who thinks it's fine for someone to get murdered by five "colored guys."
Also, "colored guys?" This was what, the early 70's? Were people still saying "colored?" I mean, my grandma was, but you were in your twenties. Colored? Seriously?

 “They say the black men had been oppressed and so on.
“But they can’t justify some Alabama farmers tar and feathering an old colored woman. 

Image result for what the fuck gif

Yeah, of course not. Why would they/ Why would anyone even think that there was a possibility of justifying a horrifying hate crime like that? No one should ever, no decent person ever would - what the fuck is wrong with you?

 I suspect the ACLU would leap to defend the five black guys. But no one would go down to defend the rednecks.

A: no they wouldn't.
B: GOOD! No one should defend these hypothetical rednecks. They are hypothetical monsters.

 They are both products of an environment. The truth is somewhere between the two poles.”

Image result for what does that even mean?

That's gibberish. What two poles? These are two imaginary crimes. They are both horrible. There aren't "two poles" here. Only in your weirdo Biden brain would this be some kind of left vs right issue. No one would be okay with five guys murdering a deaf man for a nickel (they need to renegotiate their compensation package!) and no one other than extreme racist asshole psychopaths (of which there are many) would justify the horrendous hate crime. And what "truth" do you think exists somewhere between these two "poles?"These are both scenarios you made up, There is no truth anywhere in your hypothetical scenarios. There certainly isn't any truth to the claim that the ACLU would rush to defend a mob of violent muggers. These aren't two sides of the same story where the truth lies somewhere in between the two versions.  It's not Rashomon. And it doesn't seem to be true that no one would defend the "redneck" racist monsters either, since you just did defend them as being "products of an environment."

He spent more than 30 years in the Senate trying to find the in-between.

Jesus Christ! Not since Ponce' de Leon has someone wasted so much time trying to find something that only exists in his imagination!

Biden is just freakin weird.

Monday, September 16, 2019

Democrats never learn

Well, we're back.
Let's have a look at what we missed while we were out of town.


Oh my God. I know, I'm supposed to be shocked - SHOCKED - that the NC GOP would sink so low. But I'm not. There is nothing they could do that would be so shameless as to even surprise me anymore. 
What is shocking is that Dems keep falling for this shit.

Like the Dems are all "Hey, we're going to the 9/11 memorial, you guys want to carpool?
And the Republicans are all "Uh, no. . . we already went. Um. . . last night. On 9/11 Eve."

Image result for jon lovitz that's the ticket

And then the Dems are all "Okay. That sounds plausible. We're going to go ahead and go now. You aren't going to hold any votes while we're gone, are you?"

And the GOP is all "Votes? Are you kidding? While you're out paying your respects to the Americans who died on 9/11? Oh, how could you even ask us that?"

Image result for sideshow bob trust me gif

And the Dems are all like "you promise? Pinky swear?"

And the GOP is all "Oh, we promise. Cross our hearts! You just go on to your 9/11 thing. We'll probably just go to a movie or something."

Image result for you can trust me gif

And the Democrats are all like "Okay, guys. Let's go. Don't worry, the North Carolina Republican Party totally promised not to fuck us over. No, seriously, they crossed their hearts and everything! We can go to the 9/11 thing without worrying about what's going to happen while we're gone!"

Image result for Lucy football gif

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Vacation Playlist # 3

Gun Songs

(God, remember "Night Music?" How great was that show?)

And, last but not least, the song that most people don't know is about a mass shooting (Google it!)

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Vacation play list # 2

Today's playlist is songs with a state's name in the title. I'm going to try to think of one song for each state. I would appreciate your help filling in the blanks.






















(h/t Tal Hartsfeld)








 New Hampshire

 New Jersey

 New Mexico

(h/t Jaded J)

 New York

 North Carolina

 North Dakota

(h/t Jaded J)





 Rhode Island

 South Carolina

 South Dakota





(h/t Anne Marie)





Sunday, September 8, 2019

Vacation play lists

We are on vacation this week, so I thought I'd try something new. Somethimg I can do on a hand-held that doesn't require a bunch of cutting and pasting or reading the news. So here goes.

Since today is Sunday,  the first play list will be pop songs that reference verses or stories from the Good Book.

Here gies nothimg:

(ref: Song of Solomon 1:2)

(ref: Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8)

(ref: Joshua 6:20)

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Who is Cathy Young?

I was blissfully unaware of the existence of Cathy Young until yesterday, when her name popped up twice on my Twitter timeline.

Which made me think that she must be a really awful awful person. So, being a glutton for punishment, I Googled her.

Apparently, the woman named Cathy Young was born in Moscow. Russia, not Idaho. I mean, "Cathy Young" sounds like this :

Image result for middle aged midwestern housewife

Not this:

Image result for natasha badenov

But that's neither here nor there.

Cathy Young is a writer. She has written for the Boston Globe, the Daily Beast and Reason Magazine among other outlets.  According to her bio: Catherine Alicia Young is a Russian-born American journalist. Young is primarily known for her writing about rape and feminism. 
And considering that she was or is employed by Reason Magazine and Quillette, it is not at all promising that that is the beat she covers.

Here is a little something she penned back in 2016:

Canadian University Student Convicted of Rape, But Was the Judge Biased Against Men?
Mustafa Ururyar's trial highlights a dilemma.

Image result for oh, god no

Oh for God's sake. . .
I expect this kind of grotesque garbage from the Jordan Peterson disciple  incel community, but from a grown woman?

Image result for i expected better from you

Concerns that the crusade against "rape culture" is creating an accusation-equals-guilt mindset in sexual assault cases have been mostly aimed at colleges.

Aaaand we're off to a great start already, putting rape culture in quotes, implying that this is a made-up term or that rape culture doesn't exist.
Rape culture is absolutely a real thing and it has been around for a long time. Probably for as long as there have been humans. When I was a teen, back in the late mesozoic, we used to go to lots of movies. Because they had second-run theaters back then that were super cheap. I can not tell you how many teen comedies I saw back in the 80's in which the "cool" guy gives the not-so-cool guy dating advice that included some version of "when girls say no, they mean yes." And sometimes the not-so-cool guy found out that this was not true, but his attempts to treat a "no" as a "yes" were generally treated as hilarious fun.
Or take the example of "Revenge of the Nerds." This was a hugely popular comedy in which the "nerds" get revenge on the "jocks" by planting cameras in the women's dorms so that they can watch the jocks' girlfriends in various states of undresss. Then they print up nude photos of the girlfriends and sell them at a school fair. This is depicted as a fine and amusing way to get back at the jocks, by violating the women whom the jocks are dating.

Image result for revenge of the nerds pie gif

Oh, and this was considered a harmless collegiate prank.

It gets worse. One of the main nerds puts on a costume that is identical to the one that the star quarterback is wearing then has sex with the quarterback's unsuspecting girlfriend. This is rape. But when he removes the mask to reveal that she ahas not been having sex with the man she loves, but with a virtual stranger, she isn't even upset. She asks him something like "are all nerds as good at sex as you are?" And at the end of the movie, she chooses to be the girlfriend of the rapist nerd.  That's rape culture.  A major Hollywood comedy showing rape as a sort of harmless prank that could actually make a girl fall for you. And I do not remember anyone objecting back then. This was all seen as just a silly comedy wherein the violation of these women was played for laughs and cheap titillation. But sure, let's act as if "rape culture" is some siully overreaction to boys being boys or whatever.

Sorry, I got a little sidetracked there.
You know what, though? How long has the "panty raid" been depicted as harmless college hijinks?

Daily Texan.Panty Raid Headline
Above: Headline of The Daily Texan on November 3, 1961.

That's such bullshit. First of all, that's theft. Undies cost money. Stealing undies is no different from stealing purses or jewelry. I mean, it is different because it's also a gross violation of privacy. I mean, I should think some girls were probably humiliated by having their underthings seen and taken by strange men. God knows the judgments made on the basis of the prudishness or risque'ness of the various knickers. It's really awful. I remember seeing an episode of "Happy Days" where the young men had gone off to college and participated in a "panty raid" and it was played for laughs because who could possibly be upset about some harmless shenanigans?

UT Panty Raid.AAS.1956.05.03

It's so gross.

Anyway, let's see what Ms Young has to say about this and that.

Concerns that the crusade against "rape culture" is creating an accusation-equals-guilt mindset in sexual assault cases have been mostly aimed at colleges. It's campuses that employ extralegal tribunals to settle rape disputes—tribunals where the accused often do not have the right to an attorney, to cross-examine their accusers, or to examine the evidence against them. 

You do know why they have these "tribunals," right? It's to discourage rape victims from going to the police. It's to protect the "alleged" rapist (and the school's reputation.) It's not to railroad innocent young men who are falsely accused by evil harpies.

But the latest contentious rape case comes from a real court—albeit in Canada, where feminist activism has been much more successful in influencing the justice system than in the United States.

Oh nooooo! That would be so awful if feminist activism influenced the justice system. Oh nooooo!!!

Image result for by the way i was being sarcastic gif

Image result for marge simpson well duh gif

On July 21, Mustafa Ururyar, a 29-year-old York University graduate student, was found guilty of sexually assaulting fellow grad student Mandi Gray, 28. The verdict was handed down by Ontario Court Judge Marvin Zuker in a non-jury trial. The alleged rape—and I say "alleged," because after reading the 180-page judgment I see no grounds for a finding of guilt beyond a reasonable doubt—happened in the early morning hours of January 31, 2015.

Oh, well, I'm sure you know better than the guy who made the decison. What was his job again? Oh right, he's a judge! But you probably understand the Canadian legal system a bit better than he does because you grew up in Russia and now live in the US and didn't attend law school.

Image result for judge judy which law school

You know what, I can't even go on with this article. Suffice it to say that she tends to believe the rapist when he says it was consensual even though
[h]e said that Gray flirted with him all evening and that he even told her to stop touching him when she groped his thigh, twice. He admitted wanting a threesome, supposedly because he had heard from a friend that Gray was interested, but denied insulting or berating Gray. He also said that back at his apartment after they got into bed, he told Gray he wanted to end their relationship and mentioned being annoyed by her behavior at the bar. He said that Gray began to cry and he comforted her, and that she then initiated sex.

Because a: it's totally plausible that he would ask her to stop touching his leg when he was looking to have three-way sex with her and another woman. Nothing kills a sexy mood faster than the woman you're interested in touching your leg! Also, it seems perfectly believable that he would break up with her, make her cry, and then she would be totally wanting to visit bonetown! With such a believable story, I just don't see how anyone could think him guilty!

Anyway, most of her stuff seems to fit this template. "Men are being victimized, women are liars, no one ever believes the poor men and everyone always believes all the women even though we know what liars women are blah, blah, blah."  It's grotesque and it's completely untethered to reality and it's just horrible. And I wish I still didn't know who she is. But if I have to know about her, so do you. You knew what you were getting into when you clicked on the Daily Irritant.

Monday, September 2, 2019

Actual 100% real headline not from the Onion.

Catholic school reportedly removes Harry Potter books from library because they 'risk conjuring evil spirits'
 Megan Johnson,Yahoo Lifestyle Sun, Sep 1 3:35 PM EDT 

Image result for you can not be serious gif

The Rev. Dan Reehil, a pastor at the St. Edward School, a pre-K through 8th grade Roman Catholic school in Nashville, explained to parents in an email why the extremely popular seven-book series by J.K. Rowling about a young wizard and his friends was taken out of the school’s collection.
"These books present magic as both good and evil, which is not true, but in fact a clever deception. . ."

Wow, you're really jumping on this one right on time! The first Harry Potter book was published in 1997. And just now, 21 years later, you're noticing that that they're about spooky witches and magick and whatnot?

And in those 21 years, have you seen any sort of an uptick in wizardry-related casualties?
Seems like 21 years is a good enough sample size to determine that these books are pretty benign.

"These books present magic as both good and evil, which is not true, but in fact a clever deception. . .

Well, I'm not sure how clever that deception is, seeing as how the "deception" here is that being a wizard and casting spells is made up? And maybe some kids might be naive enough to think that they could actually somehow find a wizard school to teach them how to do magic? And then they would be disappointed when they eventually figure out that nonr of this is real?

"These books present magic as both good and evil, which is not true, but in fact a clever deception. The curses and spells used in the books are actual curses and spells; which when read by a human being risk conjuring evil spirits into the presence of the person reading the text," 

Image result for you can not be serious gif

The spells are real?
You, a grown man, think that magic spells are real. Seriously, this is a thing that you think. You think that there are actual, literal, magical spells that can actually be used to conjure up actual, literal evil spirits?

Image result for conjure a lemon

So you know how many people have read the Harry Potter books? Over half a BILLION of these books have been sold. And God knows how many people have checked them out from libraries. So, hundreds of millions of people have read these books and I promise you - I PROMISE you - none of these people have inadvertently or intentionally summoned any demons into our realm.  Zero evil spirits have been conjured up by the readers of the Harry Potter books. Zero. Which is, coincidentally, the number of evil demon spirits that actually exist.

I mean, you know J.K. Rowling just made these spells and incantations up, right? She didn't copy them from ancient scrolls she unearthed in a repository of forbidden knowledge. She made them up. Honestly, she didn't even put a lot of effort into them. She just used some high-school Latin words that approximate the description of the desired result. Like this:

Aqua Eructo  (Aqua Eructo Charm)

Aqua Eructo
Type: Charm
Pronunciation: A-kwa ee-RUCK-toh
Description: This spell is used to create, and control, a jet of clear water from the tip of the wand.

Etymology: Aqua means, in LatinwaterEructo is a verb meaning "I raise"; roughly translated, it means "I raise water".

The email also reportedly shared that Reehil had consulted with several exorcists who also advocated for removing the books from the school’s library.

Seriously GIF - Seriously GIFs

Okay, this is a joke, right? This article is from the Onion, right?

No, this was actually reported in the Tennesseean, a part of the USA Today network, which isn't exactly LeMonde or Der Spiegel, but is a legitimate newspaper not known for playing pranks.

Why on Earth would you consult with exorcists? I didn't think the Catholic Church even did exorcisms anymore. Where would you even find exorcists with which to consult? Haiti? New Orleans? maybe some hidden pocket of Appalachia? What century is this? How long was I asleep?

Rebecca Hammel, the superintendent of schools for the Catholic Diocese of Nashville, confirmed to the Tennesseean that Reehil removed the books. 
As for whether students should be allowed to read the Harry Potter series on their own time, Hammel told the Tennesseean that it’s up to each child’s parents to make that decision.

"Should parents deem that this or any other media to be appropriate we would hope that they would just guide their sons and daughters to understand the content through the lens of our faith," Hammel said. "We really don't get into censorship in such selections other than making sure that what we put in our school libraries is age-appropriate materials for our classrooms."
Wait, what?

Huh Wait GIF - Huh Wait What GIFs

Age appropriate?
I'm sorry, what is the appropriate age for conjuring evil spirits?
Is that the objection? That these children are too young to be conjuring evil spirits? Like, in Catholic high schools, sure. Summon all the demons you want, you're old enough to handle them. But in elementery school it's just irresponsible to have these kids  communing with the underworld. That's just child psychology 101.

Age appropriate!

What is going on in this country?

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Joe Walsh is Not Your Friend

Okay, I can't believe that this needs to be said, but from some things I've seen on Twitter, apparently it does: just because Joe Walsh is critical of Trump, that does not - in any way - make Joe Walsh a good or decent person.

One of the most wrong-headed aphorisms is " the enemy of my enemy is my friend." I'm not saying that it is never true, but if the enemy of your enemy is also a vile disgusting excuse for a human being, you can enjoy watching the two enemies fight each other, but neither of them is your friend.

Image result for freddy vs jason

Sometimes, there's just not a "good guy" in the fight.

Which brings us to today's headline.

Joe Walsh Apologizes for ‘Creating’ Trump, Calling Obama Muslim During 2020 Announcement

Wow. "Sorry I fucked everything up, please vote for me for President" is a pretty ballsy approach!

After making his case for why Trump is “completely unfit to be president” and he could be the “alternative” more traditional Republican voters have been craving, 

Ah, yes. the "traditional Republicans." The grand tradition stretching all the way back to 2008 when Republicans first discovered that they didn't like having a black President! Of course, back in those days, their party was known as the "Tea Party," for those of you who are too young to remember back to those halcyon days.

Image result for tea party racism

Ah, sweet tradition!

Pity the poor "traditional Republican" voter. Disgusted by the boorish, bumptious Donald Trump, they went into the 2016 primary with no one else for whom to cast their vote except for Ted Cruz. And Marco Rubio. And Rand Paul. And Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, Rick Perry and John Kasich. Oh,and Bobby Jindal, Lindsey Graham, Scott Walker and Rick Santorum. So, even though they craved - CRAVED! - an alternative to the despicable dim-witted Donald Trump, they somehow must have had no option but to nominate him. Apparently, no "alternative" like Joe "deadbeat Dad" Walsh had yet presented itself.

“I helped create Trump,” the right-wing radio host replied. “And George, that's not an easy thing to say.” As part of the “Tea Party class” in Congress, Walsh said he “wanted to shake Washington up” and sometimes “went beyond the policy and the idea differences, and I got personal, and I got hateful.” 

I got personal and I got hateful. You know, I'm pretty much the anti-Trump!

For much of the Obama administration, Walsh repeatedly pushed the same “birther” conspiracies that Trump did and, as the host pointed out, was calling Obama a Muslim as recently as December 2016. “Did you really believe he's a Muslim?” Stephanopoulos asked.
“God no. And I have apologized for that,” Walsh answered.

Haha, no! I'm not dumb enough to actually believe that, George! I'm just a shameless race-baiting liar! Vote for me for President!

“But think about the contrast, George,” Walsh added. “Again, I'm baring my soul with you right now on national TV. We have a guy in the White House who's never apologized for anything he's done or said. I think it's a weakness not to apologize. I helped create Trump. There's no doubt about that, the personal, ugly politics. I regret that. And I'm sorry for that.” 

Look, George, Trump will say racist, homophobic misogynist shit and never apologize. I, on the other hand will say racist homophobic and sexist shit and then I WILL apologize. And I'll even feel bad about it! Vote for me for President!

Need any more reason to vote Walsh? Check out thgis other interview he did on MSNBC:

"I wouldn’t call myself a racist, but I would say, John, I’ve said racist things on Twitter. There's no doubt about it. And an apology is not enough," Walsh, who represented Illinois's 8th Congressional District between 2011 and 2013, said on MSNBC. 

An apology is not enough to make up for the horrible things I have said. I feel like I should not only apologize but also be the President of the United States. That's really the only way to heal this nation.

"When I said Barack Obama was a Muslim, that was a horrible thing to say, and I said it because I was so disgusted with Obama’s policy toward Israel that I went a bad, ugly step," he said. 

So. . . unlike Trump, I just try to slander my political opponents when I find their policies disagreeable. And, unlike Trump, I think that it si a gravce insult to refer to someone as a "Muslim."
I'm pretty much the Bizzarro-Trump!

Walsh, who has been openly critical of Trump's presidency, on Sunday announced that he was launching a primary challenge against the president.
"I'm running because he's unfit. Somebody needs to step up, and there needs to be an alternative," Walsh said on ABC's "This Week." 

Yes, an "alternative." If only there were an "alternative" to Trump. Some. . . other candidate voters could choose, maybe someone from, oh, I don't know, maybe a different political party, or something? Maybe someone who presents a different platform and different policy approach. . .

Image result for sanders warren harris

Oh, if only there was someone - anyone - willing to step up and say to the American electorate "You needn't stick with Trump for another term, I volunteer as tribute! You can vote for me instead, and I will serve as your president!"

Image result for biden booker gabbard

Why oh why can this nation of three hundred million people not come up with a single alternative to Donald Trump? If only some brave soul would come forward! But wait. . . there on the horizon. . . drawing ever closer, in a cloud of unpaid child support bills. . . Who is this dashing figure on a white stallion? Why, it's Joe Walsh! Riding in to save the day. Having had a taste of power, he now bravely attempts to leverage his newfound never-trump credentials into a quixotic White House run! Will this end with Walsh in the White House? Will our hero find himself with a book deal? Will our intrepid champion be given a shoe on FOX? Only time will tell what the end result of this act of selfless bravery will be!
Only one thing we know for sure. Joe Walsh is every bit as evil, racist, and dangerous as Donald Trump, he's just somewhat more professional about it. And he is not someone to root for.

Image result for joe walsh "Black Lives Matter" Tweet

Outstanding work, USA Today Entertainment!

Yeah. . . that's not Leslie Jones.

This is Leslie Jones.

Image result for leslie jones

What you got there is a Kate McKinnon.
Image result for kate mckinnon

Easy mistake to make. I get the cast of Ghostbusters mixed up all the time. Like I can't tell the difference between Bill Murray and Ernie Hudson.

Monday, August 26, 2019

Here We Go Again

Another conservative has taken to the op-ed page to explain why it's not his fault that he's going to vote for Trump, we're leaving him no choice!


No one votes to be despised. If Democrats don't change their pitch, I may switch to Trump.

 Michael Smith, Opinion contributor,USA TODAY Opinio 

Image result for here we go again gif

God, is there really this much of a market for this genre of literature? The "I know Trump is an incompetent, senile, racist megalomaniac whose presidency threatens life on Earth, but the Democrats hurt my wittle feewings so I may be forced to vote for him" article seems to be the surest way to get published these days.

I am not a President Trump supporter. But if the alternative to him in next year’s election is open borders and the Green New Deal, I may become a Trump voter.

Okay, first of all, none of the Democratic Presidential candidates is advocating for open borders. Not a one of them. You have to know this. There is no way that someone who gets paid to write about politics doesn't know this. So you're already off on the wrong foot - we know you're a disingenuous weasel.
Secondly, are you seriously taking the position that a plan to address the climate crisis that threatens to make the planet unlivable is somehow more horrifying than 4 more years of Cheeto Mussolini?

Image result for you're not serious gif

The president has earned a lot of the heat that comes his way. His reluctance to condemn the white nationalists at Charlottesville in 2017 was inexcusable. He questioned Barack Obama’s citizenship even after the man produced a birth certificate. His feuds with kneeling NFL players and other black celebrities serve no purpose except to stir the pot.

That's it? That's what you think is the problem with Orange Julius Caesar? You know he's putting children in concentration camps, right? Him being a racist dick kinda pales in comparison with taking children away from their parents and locking them in concentration camps.

The full list is long and ugly. It would speak for itself if Trump’s opponents would let it.

Yeah. . . no one is stopping the list from speaking for itself. We would add to your list his disastrous trade wars, his frequent suggestions that he can rule by executive fiat, his cozying up to murderous dictators and PUTTING CHILDREN INTO CONCENTRATION CAMPS, but we certainly aren't stopping his malfeasance from speaking for itself.

The full list is long and ugly. It would speak for itself if Trump’s opponents would let it.
They haven’t. Instead they’ve trafficked in hysteria and hyperbole, particularly in their response to the El Paso, Texas, shooting. Democrats fell over themselves to implicate the president’s rhetoric and policies. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez pronounced Trump “directly responsible” for the massacre because of his rhetoric.
Imagine. Having never met the gunman, the freshman congresswoman looked into his heart and determined that he wouldn’t have killed if not for Trump.

Gee, I wonder where she could have gotten such a wild idea? Why in the world would she place any responsibility for this mass shooting on Trump?
Hmmm. . . well, maybe it could be because of . . .

El Paso Shooting Suspect’s Manifesto Echoes Trump’s Language

At campaign rallies before last year’s midterm elections, President Trump repeatedly warned that America was under attack by immigrants heading for the border. “You look at what is marching up, that is an invasion!” he declared at one rally. “That is an invasion!”
Nine months later, a 21-year-old white man is accused of opening fire in a Walmart in El Paso, killing 20 people and injuring dozens more after writing a manifesto railing against immigration and announcing that “this attack is a response to the Hispanic invasion of Texas.”

Nah, that couldn't be it.
Probably she's just crazy!

Image result for crazy gesture gif

Its current trajectory gives the Democratic Party two problems in 2020. First, the agenda: a spending spree like no country has ever attempted, supposedly financed by a handful of wealthy taxpayers. What could go wrong?

You're right! We should totally stick with the plan of spending obscene, unimaginable amounts of money on maintaining a global military empire while constantly reducing the amount of tax dollars that flow into the treasury. That's just sound economic policy! Not some crazy pie-in-the-sky like having the people with the most money actually pay for the most necessary task our government has ever faced.It obviously makes more sense to give the people with the most money tax breaks, and just continue to finance everything with borrowing until a Democrat takes office. At which time, deficits magically become unsustainable once again.

Second, the message to voters. Progressives have long denounced America as hopelessly retrograde and racist. Naturally, they’re talking about everyone except themselves

See, now that's not rue either.
America is retrograde and racist, but not hopelessly so.
Hope springs eternal!
And certainly no Democratic candidate for President or any other office has ever claimed that she was. So, I don't know which voters are supposedly getting this "message," but it ain't coming from any of these folks.

Image result for democratic candidates

The insult-them-until-they-join-our-side strategy has gained devotees since the mass shootings. While at least seven presidential candidates have called Trump a white supremacist, the president's supporters don't want to be called the same simply for voting for Republicans.

Oh, that seems reasonable. Just because you voted for a blatant racist, continue to support that blatant racist, and intend to vote to re-elect that blatant racist doesn't mean that anyone should think you a racist!
Look, just because I wear a Giants cap and a 49ers hoodie doesn't mean you should assume that I'm a San Francisco sports fan!

The contempt descended into incoherence even before the shootings. Candidate Andrew Yang matter-of-factly predicts the disappearance of millions of low-skill jobs. Yet he and his party argue for essentially allowing millions of low-skill workers to enter the country without consequences.

Yeah, the problem of jobs being automated out of existence is a good reason we ahould send refugees back to the countries from which they fled in terror.

If you work in an industry likely to absorb some of that labor, you might wonder if this is how the Democrats plan to revive their brand as champion of the little guy. Are you the little guy they have in mind, or have you slipped a bit on their list?

And there it is.
The obligatory "democrats love brown people and not us whites" line. Or maybe it's more "Democrats love foreigners more than us real Americans," but either way, it's essentially the same appeal. It boils down to "Democrats care more about some 'other' than they do about us regular folks."  And you could make that point about many if not most Dems if the "other" you're referring to is the donor class of Wall Street and Silicon Valley, but you could definitely say that about 100% of Republicans.

Partisans who can’t imagine anything worse than losing history’s quintessential hold-your-nose election should picture coming to the rematch with a perfectly pleasant candidate, finding the opponent as nasty as ever, and losing again anyway.

Now that is actually a good point. We can NOT afford to repeat the mistakes of 2016. We can not put up another bland, inoffensive centrist, hoping that Trump's inherent detestability will will force voters to choose the only other viable option. That never works.

The swing voters who will decide the next election won’t care whether Democrats rate Donald Trump a racist or a white nationalist or a white supremacist. With the left’s favorite epithet flying around the political sphere more freely than ever, and the definition of racism facing possible expansion, they’ll want to know what Democrats think of them.

Oh, the swing voters! Yes, let's all grovel for the approval of the swing voters! Both of them.
here's the thing about the elusive swing voters. We don't need them. To the extent that they exist, we don't need them. If Democrats turn out their  base, they win. They did it in 2008 and 2012. The difference between 08/12 and 2016 wasn't that these supposed swing voters went for Trump. Trump got fewer votes than McCain or Romney got when they lost to Barack Obama. The problem was that Hillary Clinton got fewer votes than Obama did in either of those years.

The problem was that too many people didn't vote at all. And obviously, a lot of that was due to Republicans' various voter-suppression techniques. Of course that had a lot to do with it. But HRC just didn't excite the electorate the way that Obama did. It's not her fault, she just doesn't have that charisma. Well, it was partly her fault for saying that the things Democrats want, like single-payer healthcare and a $15/hr minimum wage were pipe dreams. That's just bad campaign strategy. And also ignoring the Rust Belt because your stupid fucking algorhithms say you don't need to isn't very smart electioneering either. But we're getting way off track here.

Image result for off track gif

Also, you say that the "swing voters" won't care if Democrats call Trump a racist?
Great. Trump's a racist.

Image result for larry david trump's a racist gif

And I'm not sure what you mean by the definition of racism "facing possible expansion." Actually, I think I do know. You mean the definition of racism shouldn't include any views that you personally hold. You want the word racism to be defined as "cross-burning," or "waving the swastika flag" or whatever, so you can feel like you're not a racist when you support putting children into concentration camps.
So, you know what? You want to vote for Trump? Go right ahead. We don't need you. You don't matter. But don't try to blame us for your support of this racist bastard.