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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

People who aren't even trying, Part II




Person who is not even trying #2: Sarah Palin

I know, surprise surprise the laziest woman in politics isn't even trying. But really, it seems like whoever writes her social media posts for her used to put a little effort into making them coherent, didn't they?

Here's her post about Hillary Rodham Clinton:


Leave Hillary Alone, Bullies
Aww, c'mon guys, give her a break. Anyone can be out of commission.... for weeks on end... whilst in the heat of battle for the highest office in the land. 

Um, okay. But she absolutely has not been out of commission for weeks on end, so I'm not sure what point you're trying to make.

For instance: here is a list of the campaign events she held in July.


July 2, 2016

MSNBC Television (MSNBC) Hillary Clinton
July 5, 2016 Charlotte, North Carolina Organizing Event Hillary Clinton & President Barack Obama
July 5, 2016 Washington, DC National Education Association’s 95th Representative Assembly Hillary Clinton
July 6, 2016 Atlantic City, New Jersey Organizing Event Hillary Clinton
July 8, 2016 CNN Television (CNN) Hillary Clinton
July 8, 2016 NewHour Television (PBS) Hillary Clinton
July 8, 2016 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania African Methodist Episcopal Church Quadrennial Session Hillary Clinton
July 10, 2016 Austin, Texas Fundraiser Ann O’Leary
July 11, 2016 Houston, Texas Fundraiser Ann O’Leary
July 12, 2016 Portsmouth, New Hampshire Organizing Event Hillary Clinton & Senator Bernie Sanders
July 12, 2016 New York City, New York Hamilton: An American Musical (Fundraiser) Hillary Clinton
July 13, 2016 Springfield, Illinois Organizing Event Hillary Clinton
July 13, 2016 St. Louis, Missouri Fundraiser Hillary Clinton
July 13, 2016 Palo Alto, California Fundraiser Jake Sullivan & Sara Solow
July 13, 2016 Los Angeles, California Fundraiser Trevor Houser
July 13, 2016 New York City, New York Fundraiser De’Ara Balenger
July 14, 2016 Washington, DC  League of United Latin American Citizens National Convention Hillary Clinton
July 14, 2016 Annandale, Virginia Organizing Event Hillary Clinton & Senator Tim Kaine
July 14, 2016 Charlotte, North Carolina Fundraiser LGBTQ and Allies for Hillary
July 14, 2016 Seattle, Washington Fundraiser Jake Sullivan
July 14, 2016 The O’Reilly Factor Television (Fox News) Hillary Clinton
July 16, 2016 St. Louis, Missouri Netroots Nation (Video Conference) Hillary Clinton
July 18, 2016 CBS This Morning Television (CBS) Hillary Clinton
July 18, 2016 Cincinnati, Ohio NAACP Convention Hillary Clinton
July 18, 2016 Cincinnati, Ohio Organizing Event Hillary Clinton
July 18, 2016 Minneapolis, Minnesota American Federation of Teachers Convention Hillary Clinton
July 18, 2016 Portland, Oregon Fundraiser Ann O’Leary
July 18, 2016 Atlanta, Georgia Fundraiser Barney Frank
July 19, 2016 Las Vegas, Nevada The American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees International Convention Hillary Clinton
July 19, 2016 Las Vegas, Nevada Voter Registration Event Hillary Clinton
July 19, 2016 San Francisco, California Fundraiser Former Ambassador Eleni Kounalakis
July 20, 2016 Boston, Massachusetts Fundraiser Demi Lovato & Nick Jonas
July 20, 2016 Brooklyn, New York Fundraiser Michelle Kwan
July 21, 2016 National, New York Fundraiser Ann O’Leary
July 22, 2016 Orlando, Florida Rountable Discussion Hillary Clinton
July 22, 2016 Tampa, Florida Organizing Event Hillary Clinton
July 23, 2016 Miami, Florida Organizing Event Hillary Clinton
July 23, 2016 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Fundraiser Robby Mook
July 24, 2016 60 Minutes Television (CBS) Hillary Clinton & Senator Tim Kaine
July 25, 2016 Charlotte, North Carolina VFW National Convention Hillary Clinton
July 25, 2016 Charlotte, North Carolina Organizing Event for Volunteers Hillary Clinton
July 25, 2016 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Democratic National Convention – Day 1 Senator Bernie Sanders, First Lady Michelle Obama, and Various
July 26, 2016 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Democratic National Convention – Day 2 Bill Clinton and Various
July 27, 2016 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Democratic National Convention – Day 3 Senator Tim Kaine, Vice President Joe Biden, President Barack Obama, and Various
July 28, 2016 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Democratic National Convention – Day 4 Hillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, and Various
July 29, 2016 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Rally Hillary Clinton
July 29, 2016 Harrisburg, Pennsylvania Organizing Event Hillary Clinton & Tim Kaine
July 30, 2016 Johnstown, Pennsylvania Manufacturing Event Hillary Clinton & Tim Kaine
July 30, 2016 Pittsburgh , Pennsylvania Organizing Event Hillary Clinton & Tim Kaine
July 30, 2016 Youngstown, Ohio Organizing Event Hillary Clinton & Tim Kaine
July 31, 2016 Fox News Sunday Television (Fox News) Hillary Clinton
July 31, 2016 Cleveland, Ohio Manufacturing Event Hillary Clinton & Tim Kaine
July 31, 2016 Columbus, Ohio Organizing Event Hillary Clinton & Tim Kaine


Okay, that's 24 days on,, seven days off, including July 4th weekend, with multiple events on most days. Including visits to hostile territory on the 14th and 31st. When has she been "out of commission?"

By the way, this took me about 10 seconds on Google to find.



https://media.giphy.com/media/3C2NTTATRgDNm/giphy.gif


No press conferences for nearly a year? No scheduled campaign events for days upon days?

Okay, I'll give you the press conference thing. She really should hold more. Or some. But she's giving interviews pretty much every day to some reporter or FOX employee so it's not like she's incommunicado. And when are these "days upon days" that she has no events scheduled? Since you're too lazy to type "Clinton campaign schedule" into the Google, let me give you this link: https://hillaryspeeches.com/scheduled-events/
If it's not too much trouble, you could click on it and see all the events she has scheduled for almost every day in the coming month.

No statements, no answers, no accountability, no problem. Layin' low to run out the clock before November, but you're SEXIST for noticing it.
 http://33.media.tumblr.com/f424a045b3c8232d3583e5716bf3be60/tumblr_inline_naix74PGda1skfo03.gif

Jeezus Christ, you're too lazy to pronounce words correctly when you're TYPING them? "Layin' low?" Seriously? Just type the fucking G. (See how I spelled out "fucking" even though in normal speech I would probably have dropped the "g" and pronounced it "fuckin'?" Wasn't that hard!)
 Also, you're not sexist for noticing it. You're delusional for noticing it. You're delusional for thinking it's a real thing. You're either an idiot or a liar for mentioning it.


 And you're MISOGYNIST for questioning a female's fitness. Good thing media didn't hound the crap out of '08 candidate John McCain for his decades-old military medical records or I'd guess them to be hypocrites.

http://www.hellotofit.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/what-the-what.gif

What? When? When did the media ever "hound the crap" out of John McCain re: his military service? When has the media ever been anything less than deferential to John McCain when it comes to his military service? Maybe you're thinking of John Kerry? I mean, the media didn't necessarily trash Kerry's military service, bu they sure as hell enabled the slanderous pricks who did.
The only person who has EVER had a problem with John McCain's military service is your buddy Trump.

Leave Hillary alone! All that email-evidenced yoga, and wedding planning, and cookie-baking-grandma-duty wears you out. Believe you me.


https://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2015/09/25/635788043752413548259472753_giphy.gif



Okay, I get that it wears you out. Serving half a term as governor wore you out. Ten minutes of debate prep wore you out. But Hillary's schedule is goddamm insane and she isn't wearing down. She isn't worn out. She comes bounding onto each stage with that phony smile plastered on her face, gives her stump speech with the same fake enthusiasm night after night, then jumps on a plane headed to the next town like a god damn rock star. And I know this is what every candidate fro president does, I'm not saying she deserves any special credit for doing something Bob Dole was able to do, but still. Where the hell would you get the idea that she is worn out?

Heck, even those of us claiming to be fit as a (seasoned?) fiddle, hit bumps in the wellness road. Even I. Especially I. (Remember Piper's middle name is "Grace"; mine isn't.)


Wait, her middle name is a real name? So you are familiar with real names? You didn't have to go with Brisket and Rock and Peepee and Dweezil?


Rock-running recently, I tripped over my own two feet and crashed & burned face-first. I recovered with the doc's SuperGlue, and now any man who asks "what happened?" I'll refer to as just a mean ol' SEXIST bully. 


https://media.giphy.com/media/wOZEvjN5kjSqk/giphy.gif


Yeah, that's a totally sane reaction. Someone expresses concern (or curiosity) and you respond by calling him a sexist bully. Completely what a normal person would do.
Also, I don't know who this guy with the super glue is, but I don't think he's a doctor. You can sniff glue with him all you want, but I wouldn't get into his van!


Glad for Hillary's protective media's precedence. The next woman running for POTUS has no need to answer to much of anything, for we've got weddings to plan, and Down Dogs to do, and cookies in the oven! So just leave us alone, boys.
- Sarah Palin


None of that made any sense. I've read that through a dozen times and the best guess I can come up with is that you think the press is giving Hillary a free pass? Or going easy on her? Or something like that? Maybe?
I don't know. But seriously, Sarah, you've got to put a little more effort into this. It's like you're not even trying.