Now up to 70% less Daily!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Chuck Norris


I've been inclined to take it easy on Chuck Norris, since i understand that he's been kicked in the head a lot more than most people and it's really no crime to be an abysmally bad actor and a garden-variety imbecille. But in Today's "Wing Nut Daily" (ooh, see what I did there? I changed "World Net" to "wing nut" to express my belief that this website is a gathering place for kooks, spoon-benders, and snake-handlers, but express this belief in a comical way! I hope you're taking notes, other internet writer people. This is how it's done!) Anyway, in today's "wing Nut Daily" (if it's funny once, it's bound to be funnier the second time!) Old Walker goes waaaaaayyyy off the deep end. Norris apparently thinks that Texas may secede from the Union and that he may run for president of Texas. (Oh, please God let Texas secede from the Union! I dream of a country without Texas)
And he's not kidding. Here's what he said to fellow nut-job Glenn Beck:

I'm not saying that other states won't muster the gumption to stand and secede, but Texas has the history to prove it. As most know, Texas was its own country before it joined the Union as its 28th state.
Oookaaayyy. Before that, it was part of Mexico. Before that it was a teritory of Spain. How is any of this relevant?

And why would Texas or any other state want to secede?

Patrick Henry taught that, "Our Constitution is … an instrument for its people to restrain the government." Yet our Congress and president stampede that founding document, overlook its explicitness and manipulate its words to abandon a balance of power and accommodate their own desires, partisan politics and runaway spending.

Um, OK. Funny how you had no objections when the previous administation was shredding the Bill of rights and running the largest defecits in history, but whatever. Go on.

From the East Coast to the "Left Coast," America seems to be moving further and further from its founders'
vision
And what vision would that be?

John Adams declared that, "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people." Yet we've bastardized the First Amendment, reinterpreted America's religious history and secularized our society until we ooze skepticism and circumvent religion on every level of public and private life.

Ah, should have guessed.
Well, you seem fond of quoting the Founding fathers, how about I take a crack at it?

Christianity neither is, nor ever was a part of the common law.

-Thomas Jefferson, letter to Dr. Thomas Cooper, February 10, 1814

  • During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy, ignorance and servility in the laity, in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution.
- James Madison

My parents had early given me religious impressions, and brought me through my childhood piously in the Dissenting way. But I was scarce fifteen, when, after doubting by turns of several points, as I found them disputed in the different books I read, I began to doubt of Revelation itself. Some books against Deism fell into my hands; they were said to be the substance of sermons preached at Boyle’s Lectures. It happened that they wrought an effect on me quite contrary to what was intended by them; for the arguments of the Deists, which were quoted to be refuted, appeared to me much stronger than the refutations; in short, I soon became a thorough Deist."

Benjamin Franklin. (1706–1790). His Autobiography.


Deism, by the way, Chuck, is , according to Meriam Webster," a movement or system of thought advocating natural religion, emphasizing morality, and in the 18th century denying the interference of the Creator with the laws of the universe."

Oh, and let's not forget the Treaty of Tripoli which states unequivically:

  • As the government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Musselmen [Muslims] … it is declared … that no pretext arising from religious opinion shall ever product an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries. … The United States is not a Christian nation any more than it is a Jewish or a Mohammedan nation.

Yeah, Chuck. That's the same John Adams you quoted above. I think that the lesson here is that John Adams did NOT let his personal religious beliefs influence the business of governing. I know, you think that America was founded as some sort of theocracy, but trust me, it wasn't.

But that's not even the worst part! Norris is really ready to go to war.

"If this country starts to spiral out of control and Mexico melts down or whatever, if it really starts to spiral out of control, before America allows a country to become a totalitarian country Americans won't stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up."
Anyone who has been around Texas for any length of time knows exactly what we'd do if the going got rough in America. Let there be no doubt about that. As Sam Houston once said, "Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may."

For those losing hope, and others wanting to rekindle the patriotic fires of early America, I encourage you to join Fox News' Glenn Beck, me and millions of people across the country in the live telecast, "We Surround Them," on Friday afternoon (March 13 at 5 p.m. ET, 4 p.m. CT and 2 p.m. PST). Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's website. My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we've invited many family members, friends and law enforcement to join us. It's our way of saying "We're united, we're tired of the corruption, and we're not going to take it anymore!"

Again, Sam Houston put it well when he gave the marching orders, "We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish. It is vain to look for present aid: None is at hand. We must now act or abandon all hope! Rally to the standard, and be no longer the scoff of mercenary tongues! Be men, be free men, that your children may bless their father's name."

Um. Chuck. What you're talking about here, that's called treason. It's punishable by hanging.
Would someone pleas wake Chuck up and tell him that this is not a movie. This is real life. Just stay out of the way and let the grownups run things, okay?

P.S. Would someone please explain to me why the wingnuts seem to equate a financial stimulus bill with some kind of tyrrany or dictatorship? It's just spending money. It's not martial law.

P.P.S. I guess that whole "celebrities should stay out of politics" only applies to Sean Penn?