If I am ever found in a clocktower with a high-powered rifle. . .

. . .it will be in some small part because this:

Meet SJP's New Shoe Guru

Forget Blahniks and Louboutins. The only shoes for Sarah Jessica
Parker right now are Brian Atwoods, or "BAs" as they’re known to
obsessed fans like Demi Moore, Kate Hudson and Cameron Diaz. The
coolest shoes you’ll see Carrie wear in Sex and the City 2 are all the
handiwork of the Milan-based former model who began his shoe career
sketching for Versace.

is considered a "news" story.

Brownie Gets To Be On TV

For some reason, Micheal "Hsckuva job Brownie" Brown is being asked to comment on President Obama's handling of the BP Oil Spill.


Only on FOX!




Also coming up on FOX:

Our new baseball expert critiques the Major League pitching staffs



And Ted the Tech guy gives you tips on which computer is best for you!



And don't miss Eliot Spitzer's secrets for keeping his marriage strong!