Blagojevich: 'I'm blacker than
Oh, my God, Rob. Stop. Just stop right there. There's nothing you can say now that won't be just awful. Just don't say anything.
"I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes."
Oh my God! See, I told you. There's nothing you can say now that won't make you look like an ignorant dildo at best, a racist idiot at worst.
I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment.
OK, when did a five-room apartment become a black stereotype? I don't even get that one.
"My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived,"
OK, unless your father was actually George Jefferson, the laundry isn't really relevant.
So to sum up, you are black because:
A) You once had a job shining shoes
B) Your apartment had five rooms
C) Your father owned a laundromat
D) There was a largely black neighborhood near the area where you once lived.
Is that it? That is your claim to blackness? Am I missing anything? Because I'm pretty sure that none of those things make you black. Having a high concentration of melanin in your skin makes you black. Everything else just makes you an idiot.