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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Debate Observation # 14

Government does not create jobs! Except the one I'm running for.

Repeating "government does not create jobs" like a mantra doesn't make it any more true. Government creates jobs for soldiers, sailors, marines, airmen, cops, firefighters, teachers, park rangers, sewage treatment plant employees, CDC researchers, FBI investigators, CIA spies, meat inspectors, mail carriers, bridge builders, air traffic controllers, road pavers, drivers test examiners, astronauts, airplane builders, bomb manufacturers, uniform sewers, but  I guess those don't really count?

Debate Observation # 13

I'm sorry, did Mr. Free Trade just promise to implement tariffs against China?

You know what would be even more effective than tariffs? Call your friends at Bain and tell them to stop sending jobs to China.

Debate Observation # 12

The President wants to keep AK-47's out of the hands of criminals and the mentally ill.

In other words:

AAAIIIEEE!!! JACKBOOTED GOVERNMENT GOONS ARE COMING FOR YOUR GUNS!!! WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!!!

Debate Observation # 11

Why does Candy Crowley keep telling the candidates "don't go away?" Is there some possibility that one of them might wander off?

Also, if you're moderating a presidential debate (and doing so quite well) shouldn't it be Candace Crowley? You're a journalist, not a stripper.

Debate Observation # 10

God, Mitt is so proud of himself for pronouncing "Lorraine" correctly. After asking her to repeat it three times. Fuck, it's Lorraine, not Krzyzewski!

Debate Observation # 9

Oh my God, did Mitt really just say that he had started a "small business?" Like he started Bain capital in his parents' garage?  He went to work for a large company, then was given the opportunity to start a new branch of that large company which he turned into an even larger company, but he never had one cent of his own money at risk. He knows people have Google, right?

Debate Observation # 8

Of course I don't believe that employers should be able to decide who gets birth control. Mt God, I said that like 3 weeks ago! Do you honestly believe that that is still my position?

Debate observation # 7

Oh, my God, will the two of you quit arguing about who is supposed to get the last word on each question? It doesn't make either of you sound presidential.

Debate observation # 6

It was so nice to hear President Obama say that "what you said just isn't true."

I'd really love to hear him just call Romney a pig-fucking liar, but that's a bit much to hope for.

Liars need to be called out on their lies. God knows the press isn't going to do it. To them, one person lying is just a difference of opinion.

Debate Observation # 5

Yeah, balancing a business's budget is not like balancing a country's. You can't just lay off Arkansas.

Debate observation # 4

I rewound that three times and I'm still not sure whether Romney said the top 5% will continue to pay 60% or 16%. If he said 60% that's such a ridiculous lie that even Mitt couldn't say it with a straight face. If he said 16%, that's certainly nothing to brag about keeping in place.

debate observation # 3

Romney admits that gas & oil drilling have increased, but he's upset that the increase hasn't taken place on federal lands. You've got the result you say you want, governor. Why raise a stink about the way that result is achieved?

Also, I thought you liked the private sector doing things on its own without the big bad federal government being involved.

debate observation # 2

Romney says his policies will bring manufacturing jobs back to the US Then he says "they're already starting to come back."  So why do we need your stupid energy policy?

Debate Observation #1

Does Romney really think that people making $250,000 or less have any significant income from interest, investments & capital gains? I know I don't.