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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Glenn Beck's Maniacal Grin

Since my most recent post, I've been spending way too much time trying to figure out Glenn Beck and why he always looks like this:





Seriously. Every time I see him, he has that loony, demented grin. He could be at his best friend's funeral and i don't think he could wipe that deranged expression off his face.

So, I've been trying to figure him out. Does he just like being outrageous because he's a publicity whore, or is he actually baboon-ass crazy enough to believe the shit he says?

Here's my theory. Glenn Beck is crazy, alright, but not the kind of tin-foil-hat crazy that would believe in the kind of paranoia that is his stock in trade. No, Glenn suffers from the kind of bug-eyed, foaming at the mouth, poo-throwing crazy that afflicts teenage arsonists. He knows what he's saying is ridiculous. And he knows that there are nuts out there who will believe it. And that's why he can't stop grinning. He knows he's lighting a fuse, and he's rubbing his hands in gleeful anticipation of the explosion. He can't wait to see what's going to get blown up. Like a teenage firebug, he probably gets aroused thinking about it. And he's going to keep fanning the flames as long as he's allowed to stay on the air.