So I heard the audio of the Republican debate (the big-boy debate, not the junior varsity debate). The Majority Report did a sort of Mystery Science Theater thing with the livestream on the podcast which made it bearable.
So. . . couple things.
First off, sorry Republican Party, but the only one on that stage who made any impression at all was the buffoon Donald Trump. It's honestly hard to remember anything any of the other candidates said.
And speaking of Trump, this thing with him and Megyn Kelly is kinda odd. First of all, Megyn Kelly took him to task over his sexism, which is good, someone should. But a few minutes later, she was busting chops on some of the other candidates for not being sufficiently anti-choice. So it's unacceptable to say bad things about women but perfectly laudable to actually legislate against them?
And then Trump gets dis-invited from the Erick Erickson ass-jamboree because his comments about Kelly were just beyond the pale. And they were, no doubt. But Erick Erickson is the man who called a justice of the Supreme Court a "goat-fucking child molester," and he gets to pretend to be offended by Trump's comments?
LMRM: The nation loses the only goat fucking child molester to ever serve on the Supreme Court in David Souter's retirement. #TCOT #RS— Erick Erickson (@EWErickson) May 1, 2009
Oh, and by the way, congratulations Republicans. This is your party. All your top presidential candidates flocking to Georgia to kiss the ring jammed onto the porcine hoof of a man who coined the slur "Abortion Barbie" to describe Wendy Davis. And also called a Justice of the Supreme Court a "goat-fucking child molester." You must be so proud.
Also, it's amazing how glib Trump is about his role in government corruption. He proudly boasts about how he gives money to all kinds of politicians because when he needs something from them, they're there to help him. And when he talks about giving money to candidates in order to buy favors from them, I heard a few of the other candidates say "well, I hope you'll give to me!" as if he wasn't talking about legalized bribery. And then he says that this shows that the system is broken. Well, truer words were never spoken, but how is it that you can just stand up there and say "I'm a big participant in this corruption, vote for me and I'll put an end to it.?"
And of course, they all agree that the "system is broken," but none of them have a single word to say about what they would do to fix it, besides cutting taxes and regulations. Not a single mention of Citizens United. No one says the words "campaign finance reform," but they all pretend like they're just soooo disappointed with how the "system" is "broken" The system that has allowed most of these guys to hold political office at one time or another.
And it's the same thing with "Obamacare." Everyone says that we must "repeal and replace" it, but not a single word about what they would replace it with. Except from Trump, who surprisingly admits that single-payer works well in Canada and Scotland and then bizarrely claims that it would have worked well here several years ago, but not now. (???) And then says he prefers a "market-based system" which is pretty much another name for Obamacare.
Ben Carson gets the award for most bizarre suggestion of the day, as expected. He proposed a flat tax, which is nothing new, but his flat tax would be 10% across the board BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT GOD REQUIRED FROM THE ISREALITES IN THE OLD TESTAMENT!
And it doesn't seem to occur to him that God doesn't have an army to run, or schools to fund, or roads to build, or really He has pretty much no overhead at all, which is why the ancient Isrealutes could take their tithe and burn it on the altar because God doesn't actually need any money whereas governing a nation is fucking expensive. And no one laughed at him. No one said that there's no fucking way that you can run a modern superpower on a 10% flat tax and the Bible is not an economics textbook and the Bible doesn't even claim that the tithe was keeping the Kingdom of Israel in the black because the King was definitely collecting taxes from his subjects, and slaughtering a calf in the Temple ain't going to keep Solomon's 700 wives in gemstones and fancy underpants.
John Kasich says he attended a gay wedding. Wow, that must have been awkward! He is on the record opposing marriage equality, but says basically that he has to accept that the Supreme Court has made it legal, and oh, congratulations Jim and Bob! I'm thinking both grooms or both brides were having a long "I thought you invited him. Me, why would I invite that dick?" kind of conversation.
At the end, they actually asked each candidate whether God had spoken to them to tell them what to do as President. As if this were a legitimate question to ask people. Unless maybe it was meant to weed out the schizophrenics? Anyway, after a couple candidates answered, someone must have been screaming "abort, abort!" in Megyn Kelly's earpiece because she suddenly made up a phantom audience member who wanted to ask about veterans. I'm sure any veterans in the audience must have been honored to have been included as an afterthought.