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I don't get it. Why would anyone want to be shitty to Santa? This is a man who does nothing but try to bring a little happiness to the children of the world. He just gives and gives and asks nothing in return. Why would you want to engage in petty one-upsmanship with a man who has dedicated his entire life to making people happy? He is the most selfless individual on the planet. Her makes Mother Theressa look like Ayn Rand. And yes, he has imprisoned hundreds of elves and forces them to work in his factories, but everyone knows elves are assholes.

So you're going to stand there with that smug, smarmy expression and talk shit to Santa? You're going to relegate him to the role of dog-gift-giver? Fuck you, lady! How dare you? Santa has more class and decency in his little finger than you could ever dream of having in your entire body. I hope you get coal every year for the rest of your life, you miserable witch.