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Friday, July 31, 2015

Flashback Friday - Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper


Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper burst out of the Southern California Rockabilly/Cowpunk scene in the early 1980's with a string of albums featuring Mojo on vocals and guitar and percussionist Skid Roper on everything from washboard to washtub bass. Mojo was the spiritual descendant of Hasil Adkins with bits of John Lee Hooker and Howlin Wolf for good measure but his sound and lyrical worldview were uniquely his.

I never did get to see Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper perform, but I did see Mojo Nixon and the Toadliquors at Slim's in San Francisco, and I saw Mojo perform as part of the Pleasure Barons somewhere in San Jose. He was a consumate showman and hopefully still is.



















Thursday, July 30, 2015

This is only going to get worse.



These people are scum.

Cops: Video shows 2 men placing Confederate flags at Ebenezer


Cops: Video shows 2 men placing Confederate flags at Ebenezer
Small Confederate flags were found Thurs., July 30, 2015, at Ebenezer Baptist Church.
By David Markiewicz
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Atlanta —
Atlanta police said surveillance footage shows two men placing Confederate flags at two of Atlanta’s most notable landmarks early Thursday: Ebenezer Baptist Church and Martin Luther King, Jr. National Historic Site Visitor Center.



Ever since Confederate flags finally started coming down, a segment of the white population has somehow decided that something valuable is being taken away from them and they're going to fight back.
So far, it hasn't been violent, not that I know of anyway, but last week, this also happened, and also in Georgia (sigh).

Confederate flag wavers caught yelling racist slurs at black kid’s birthday party insist they’re not hateful

Bethania Palma Markus

29 Jul 2015 at 12:32 ET                   
Confederate flag wavers taunt black Georgia birthday party guests as they drive away (Screenshot/YouTube)
Armed white Confederate flag supporters clashed with attendees of a black child's birthday party in Douglasville, Georgia, over the weekend, culminating in a tense standoff between the two groups and a threat from the Confederate battle flag-bearing band that they would "kill y'all n****rs."
"One had a gun, saying he was gonna kill the [racial slur]. Then one of them said gimme the gun, I'll shoot them [racial slur]," party organizer Melissa Alford told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, adding the trucks had passed by several times before stopping in a field next to her house.

Oh, but don't worry. They aren't hateful. Like at all.

A group of white men said they were the ones victimized after being accused of disrupting a black child’s birthday party in Georgia while flying Confederate flags from their pickup trucks, according to the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

Because of course. Of course they're victims. Nothing happened to these guys. None of them got hurt. One guy did get arrested, but, as the police report states, that was for an un-related charge.




But somehow, they are still able to see themselves as "victims." They haven't had their precious flags taken away. They haven't lost the right to fly them in public. But if there is maybe a bit of societal disapproval for flying the banner of a nation that went to war with the United States in order to try to preserve the institution of slavery, they somehow feel that they're - I don't know, losing their place at the top of the societal food chain? Or something? I don't know, but they seem to feel threatened in some way.
And these cro-magnons are not going to go gently into the dustbin of history. They thrive on rage, resentment and paranoia. And they're heavily armed.
This is only going to get worse.





In Tennessee, Sgt. Briscoe, a 17-year Army veteran and African-American woman, was harassed by two white men in a pickup truck similarly adorned with Confederate flags. While driving past her family at her home, the truck slowed down and the men called them “m*therf*cking n***ers.”












Wednesday, July 29, 2015

We need a new Australia



We need some sort of desert island where we can send people who are not exactly criminals, or bad people, but need to be removed from decent society.
People like:

1. People who smoke at the beach

http://www-tc.pbs.org/prod-media/newshour/photos/2013/07/08/smoking_on_the_beach_getty_images_200514256-001_blog_main_horizontal.jpg

Oh, hey, thanks for that, buddy. I was so tired of smelling that clean salty air. Hey, if it's not too much trouble could you maybe stand right in front of me to block my view of the water and shriek curse words to cover the sound of the waves?

2. People who respond to the question "how you doin'?" with "I'm blessed!"

 Screen Shot 2015-07-26 at 8.36.41 PM
 Yeahhhh. . . I was just making small talk. Didn't really sign up for a sermon, there Reverend.


3. Marketers who use the "Peace symbol, Heart, Product" template.

http://peaceloveandpizza.com/images/logo.pnghttp://www.vegblogger.com/.a/6a01157163c51e970c0168ec1a0043970c-320wi




http://img00.deviantart.net/01a1/i/2013/291/2/7/peace__love__burger_by_sweet_blessings-d6qwga5.pnghttp://cdn.potbelly.com/company/images/peacelovepotbelly.png

It's not funny, it's not clever, it's certainly not original. And it's kinda shitty to be coopting the concepts of peace and love to sell some stupid product.

Also, whoever is making and/or wearing those "Keep Calm and. . ." T-shirts.


http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-eat-chocolate-1004.pnghttp://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/64/6445/7L6H100Z/posters/keep-calm-and-kill-zombies.jpghttp://www.animaatjes.nl/plaatjes/k/keep-calm-and/animaatjes-keep-calm-and-3815311.jpg

Just stop it. It's not amusing. It's just annoying. And it's a frivolous use of the slogan that was an attempt to help Londoners get through the Blitz.


4. People who put "I Love my Kids" stickers on their cars.

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MjA3WDQwMA==/z/q-cAAOSwnDZUFv~Q/$_35.JPG


Oh, do you? You love your kids, do ya? Really? Wow, what a fucking accomplishment! You've managed to achieve an emotional state mastered only by every living creature except goldfish and Susan Smith! Well, where's your parade? How have they not built a statue of you yet? I can surely see how you'd take such pride in this state of affairs that you'd want all the other commuters to know what a fine fine human being you are!


5. These people


http://media.mlive.com/kzgazette/features_impact/photo/bicyclists-for-clean-water-f07466a5073a5bce_large.jpghttp://assets.inhabitat.com/files/bike21.jpg

http://www.birthdaychallenge.com/joshfairchild/johnjosh.jpg

These people who can't get on a bicycle without putting on the entire Greg LeMonde ensemble like they're in the Tour de France.
Look, it's perfectly admirable that you're biking to work. It's great that you're choosing a zero-emission vehicle and improving your health and probably having some fun. But you're commuting. You're not qualifying for the Olympics. You really need to shave that tenth of a second off your time to Globotech?
People have been riding bicycles for over a century. And for most of bicycling history, they've done it dressed like this.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/62/Urban_cycling_III.jpg
You don't need a special bicycle-riding outfit.
No one needs to see you in neck-to-knee spandex, no matter how in shape you are. 
You don't have to wear some ridiculous get-up that makes you look like a rejected superhero prototype. In fact, you don't need to wear anything at all.

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1023856/images/o-NAKED-BIKE-RIDE-facebook.jpg

So who else? Who else needs to be sent to an island? Leave your nominees in the comments and we'll start rounding them up.


And for the record, I know Australia was not a deserted island. I know that there were people already living there when the Brits started shipping prisoners there and that those people were and still are treated very badly by the Brits. I know.

Monday, July 27, 2015

How Was I not Invited?







We all have the right to celebrate the way of life we have chosen for ourselves. In the name of equality & equal rights, I have created this event to celebrate our right to be heterosexual, and to encourage younger heterosexuals that they should be proud of their heterosexuality (:

What, did my invitation get lost in the mail?
I'm Heterosexual.
I have pride.
I love Parades.
And I have to assume that the hetero parade has gotta be a flashy, splashy celebration of all things hetero!
Like this?

http://olodonation.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Brazil-carnival-parade-Sambadrome-3198130.jpg

Sports and Boobies. Yep, that's it in a nutshell!


Although. . . now that I think about it, has our right to be heterosexual ever been challenged? Why is this parade really necessary?

There is a lot of negativity pouring in from the gay, bisexual, transgender communities. Kin of a double standard if you ask me. We mean no harm by celebrating. This is a positive event for heterosexuals. If you don't like the fact that we are having a parade to celebrate our beliefs, feel free to show up and protest. We are doing nothing more than celebrating what we believe in, and do not appreciate discrimantion from any other groups. We are not discriminating, simply celebrating our right to be heterosexual 


  • Mary Jo CT Stand straight and tall forever Son/Brother.
    3 hrs · Like · 1
  • Stanley Wallings well as hetero's are the minority I feel sad for him come to Europe we have blonde angels who like men ...

 Oh, right. I forgot about all the imaginary negativity and fictitious discrimination! Of course!

So, anyway, sorry I missed it. How was the turnout?




One person? One hetero person showed up for hetero pride day?

http://rs1099.pbsrc.com/albums/g396/donteventhinkthat/gif%20party/35k9atk.gif~c200https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/f1/cb/32/f1cb3213249c849827956a72442401f6.jpg

Oh, I'm sorry. I should really take this more seriously. It certainly must have been a rough day for. . .


http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvheegzadY1qjqzoeo3_250.gif

I'm sorry, I just can't. I can't keep a straight face.
So to speak.




Saturday, July 25, 2015

Saturd80's - Shriekback


Shriekback was formed in the early 80's by a former member of Gang of Four and a former member of XTC. You can hear a lot of GO4 in their music, mailnly in Dave Allen's bass-playing, although I don't hear any XTC influence.
Shriekback had a funky dance beat with a weird, spooky menace to the vocals. Here are a few songs I remember and one I definitely was not aware of until I started searching YouTube for this post, a KC & the Sunshine Band cover(!?!?)
Enjoy!


















Friday, July 24, 2015

Who can say the stupidest thing about Donald Trump?

Ordinarily, when we have a "who's stupider?" post here at the Daily Irritant, we do it in a game-show style competition. But why bother? No one's going to out-stupid Palin!



First on CNN: Palin calls both McCain and Trump heroes



http://da-v4-mbl.digitalbrandsinc.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/giphy-1.gif

Why, yes. Yes she is!

Washington (CNN)Asked about the dispute between Donald Trump and Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona

Wait, let me stop you right there. Who the fuck is asking Palin about anything? C'mon, CNN, you're you used to be better than that!


Asked about the dispute between Donald Trump and Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona -- the candidate at the top of the ticket when she was 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee -- former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin Monday afternoon called both men heroes.

See, this is why there are no other contestants tonight. We're at sentence one and she's already at hall-of-fame levels of stupid.

"I have the good fortune of knowing both John McCain and Donald Trump well," Palin told CNN in an email.

Yeah, and at least one of them despises you.

http://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/palin-mccain.jpg

Probably both, if they both really do know you well.

  "Sen. McCain dedicated his life to serving our country, and in my humble opinion the sacrifices made by all ethical service members are heroic -- putting it all on the line to defend freedom IS heroic -- and Donald Trump is a hero in another arena." 

I see. And, um. . . how do you figure?

 John McCain put his life on the line to defend, well not "freedom" exactly, but I guess the non-Communist government of South Vietnam? In service to his country. And Trump risked what, exactly in the service of what noble cause?

http://media.giphy.com/media/11R5KYi6ZdP8Z2/giphy.gif 

 Trump is the candidate giving voice to untold millions of fed-up Americans witnessing a purposeful destruction of our economy and the equal opportunity for success that made America exceptional,"

Yes, nothing says "equal opportunity for success" like a man whose success is in large part due to having been born wealthy.

"We're watching career politicians throw away our kids' future through bankrupting public budgets and ripping open our porous borders which, obvious to all us non-politicians, puts us at great risk."

 Um, couple things. . .
 https://media2.giphy.com/media/CNlypKhtg4Bkk/200_s.gif

First, why would we need to rip open borders if they're already so porous? And who do you think is doing the ripping? (Never mind, I'm sure it's "Obama." The answer is always "Obama.")
Also, bankrupting public budgets? That's you guys. Your pathological need to cut taxes again and again is what bankrupts public budgets.

See, for instance:

Kansas revenues will fall $1 billion short of 2015 and 2016 expenses


Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/government-politics/article3729756.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/government-politics/article3729756.html#storylink=cpy



Seeming to take issue with some of the language used by McCain in the past to describe attendees at Trump rallies and some of the Senate tea party members, Palin added, "Everywhere I go, hard-working patriotic Americans -- not 'crazies' or 'wacko birds' -- ask me to pass on to Mr. Trump encouragement to keep educating the masses about true ramifications of illegal immigration, and in general the real state of our union."

Okay, that's just a lie. No one is asking you to pass along messages to Donald Trump. If they wanted to get a message to Trump, it's not that hard. Dude's always on Twitter. Usually making  Schoolyard taunts about someone's weight, but still. You can get a message to him whenever you like. I'm sure he's probably on Facebook and Snapchat and whatever social media rich people use that we aren't allowed to know about.


And even if someone didn't understand the interwebs or whatever, they aren't asking you to pass Trump a note in homeroom. 
https://img1.etsystatic.com/000/1/6638970/il_170x135.335498885.jpg
The only two responses to meeting you in public are "Duh, hey Misstess Palin, kin I git yer autygraph?" or "Ew, ew, it's Palin! Ick, where's the Purell?"
 They certainly aren't saying "Say, Sarah, next time you talk to Mr. Trump, please pass along my words of encouragement to keep opening his fat yap and spewing out the kind of toxic nonsense that this country really needs."

So, anyway, to sum up:

http://www.usnews.com/dbimages/master/2643/FE_DA_071217fathers.jpg

 Hero.

http://images.buddytv.com/articles/celebrity_apprentice_trump.jpg
     Assclown. 

              
 And that is why Sarah Palin is the winner of Who Can Say The Stupidest Thing About Donald Trump!


Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Florida Headline of the Day






Florida Blames Armadillos For Higher-Than-Usual Number Of Leprosy Cases

http://media.tumblr.com/4c8433c773b2bb68c71ada7e7e2cbcee/tumblr_inline_nlymgabv2P1rsenn9.gif


Dr. Richard Truman politely pretended to have no idea how this could be happening.


Though it is possible to get leprosy from armadillos, Dr. Richard Truman of the National Hansen’s Disease Program says the “specific mechanisms” for transmission are unknown. 
“Long term, close direct contact with the blood or tissue of infected animals would likely pose the greatest risk for exposure,” he told Medical Daily.


http://static.gamespot.com/uploads/original/108/1085618/2454423-1664568646-colbe.gif
Yes, there's just no way of knowing how one could possibly catch a disease from an armadillo. Especially one that requires long-term, close, direct contact. It's a mystery.

“Some of our patients have reported hunting or cooking armadillos, but others report that they have never had any direct contact with armadillos,” he said.

https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/bill_clinton_oped-300x3004.jpg 
Right. Just like I never had any direct contact with that woman, Miss Lewinsky!

Though the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention finds the risk of contracting leprosy from an armadillo to be low, the center still warns people to shun these animals.

And by "these animals," they mean people who catch diseases from armadillos. 

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--HrX5zrgD--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/18e7kphodjj6fjpg.jpg


Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Boehner was so close!


He almost had it!

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/4829439/missed-it-by-that-much-o.gif

John Boehner actually had it for a second there. He actually seemed to understand that the record California drought is, at least in part, a result of man-made climate fuckuppery.

But then he decided that it was made by one man and that man is, of course, President Obama.

And he seems to be serious.

Speaker Boehner, or whoever ghost-posts on his Facebook page, put up this photo of what seems to be a perfectly reasonable sing from somewhere in the Golden State.



Other than the corny "Green to go Brown" line and maybe the fact that a 36% reduction in water usage is probably not enough, what objection could anyone have to this? Well, let's see:


    

If ever there was a phrase that perfectly encapsulates liberal environmentalists’ backwards priorities and regressive ideology of restriction and scarcity, it is the one now displayed on a government sign in Arcadia, California: “It’s ‘green’ to go brown.”
Um, okay. . . Not really sure how scarcity is a "liberal ideology." Water is scarce in California. That isn't liberal or conservative or anything but the fact of the matter. They are running out of water.And when one is short on something, I'm not sure how trying to conserve what little you have is "backwards priorities." I guess the forward-thinking approach would be "Hey, Mr. Speaker, we're running out of Scotch. Let's just pour this last bottle down the drain."

So, up 'til now, this post is merely stupid. But hold on to your hats & glasses, it's about to veer into crazy-town!


Visit http://j.mp/1M8kIay [delinked] to learn more about what Congress is doing to end President Obama’s man-made water shortage in the West and allow water resources to be managed in a way that actually makes sense.



Yes, obviously, President Obama has been preventing rain from falling West of the Sierra Nevadas. Obviously, the California water table is drying up because of oh, I don't know, let's say healthcare?

And I guess there's no snow-pack because um. . .  treaty with Iran?
How in the hell can a climatalogical phenomenon be laid at the feet of the President? I mean, sure, his support of gay marriage is obviously going to cause floods. earthquakes, tornadoes and Kardashians, but this drought has been going on since before he even came around on that issue.

So, nice try Mr. Speaker, but now that I think about it you really weren't even that close.


Monday, July 20, 2015

How is this garbage in my newspaper?






This was actually in my newspaper today. An actual newspaper spent money on ink and paper to publish this:




A question has hung in the air since Barack Obama first moved into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and began his "fundamental transformation" of this country: Did he intend harm, or was he merely so blinded by ideology that he could not see the damage his policies were creating? The Iran deal provides an answer.


Really? Has that question really hung in the air? Have any sane people actually been asking this question? Really?
First of all, Barack Obama is about the least ideological political figure in the country. (Not to his credit.)
Secondly, what "fundamental transformation" has he accomplished? How different is the country today than in 2008? Other than the economy having turned around and American soldiers not being killed on a regular basis. Tax rates haven't changed significantly, health care is still run by mulit-billion dollar for-profit private companies, and mouth-breathers still get to wave automatic weapons around in public. So what's the big transformation?


At his press conference, our duplicitous leader chose to call black white and claim that the deal does the opposite of what it does -- allow Iran to get nuclear weapons, albeit after a decent interval. We are deep into Orwellian territory now. "War is peace. Ignorance is strength." Iranian President Hassan Rouhani is crowing that Iran achieved all of its objectives and the U.S. none.


Right, we totally can't trust the Iranians, and let's take Rouhani at his word that he acheived all his objectives. I mean, why would he lie?


 But from his first inaugural address onward, Obama both secretly and openly wooed the Iranian regime. In the process, he repeatedly lied to Congress, our allies and the American people, settling, to my satisfaction at least, that he is inflicting this potential catastrophe wittingly.


Look, I get that this Charen character normally writes for "Town Hall" or some other sort of right-wing bathroom tissue, but how the hell are legitimate papers picking up this baseless slander against a sitting US President? 



Friday, July 17, 2015

A National Embarrasment


 http://www.austinchronicle.com/binary/c1b3/gabbott.jpg


Texas Governor Greg Abbot is a national embarrassment. You'd have thought George W. would be the most embarrassing governor in Texas's history. Then Rick Perry came along. Now Abbott has managed to slither under even that low-set bar.

It wasn't bad enough that he bought into the Jade Helm conspiracy nonsense. Or, if he didn't actually believe it himself, he apparently felt obliged to pander to the lowest-IQ portion of the electorate and, frankly I don't know which is worse.

Anyway, if that wasn't crazy/stupid enough, now there's this:


Scientology Group Urged Veto of Mental Health Bill

After a Church of Scientology-backed group helped organize a campaign against it, Gov. Greg Abbott vetoed legislation that would have given Texas doctors more power to detain mentally ill and potentially dangerous patients, according to records obtained by The Texas Tribune.
Yep, now he's pandering to Scientologists of all people. Maybe he's the one person in America who didn't see or at least hear about "Going Clear?"


I mean, you do know these people are nuts, right? Well, the believers in Scientology are nuts, the ones running it may just be running the most hugely successful long-con since some Japanese chef convinced people that sushi is food.

But surely it can't just be because the Scientologists objected, right? There was peobably something in the bill that caused conservative Texans to rail against it. Maybe it involved an expenditure of tax monies? The bill must have been controversial, no?

The governor's early June veto of Senate Bill 359 caught many of the measure’s proponents off-guard. The legislation had sailed through the House and Senate with little debate and only a handful of negative votes — and during committee hearings in both chambers, a range of mental health advocates, medical groups and law enforcement officials showed up to testify in its favor.

So, Republicans, Democrats, doctors and police were all in favor of this bill? So who was against it, besides the insane cult that is Scientology?

In a letter hand-delivered to the governor’s office on May 20, the “SB 359 Veto Coalition” said the bill threatened the “delicate balance” between providing “access to humane care and treatment for persons suffering from mental illness and safeguarding the person’s legal right." It characterized the bill as granting “sweeping powers” to hospitals that could lead to fraudulent mental health detentions and threaten a patient’s right to refuse medical care.
Others lending their names to the letter included the Texas Home School Coalition, the League of United Latin American Citizens, the anti-vaccine group Parents Requesting Open Vaccine Education and Texans for Accountable Government, a libertarian organization currently campaigning to stop water fluoridation in Austin.

https://raincoaster.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/julian-assange-says-oh-for-fucks-sake.png

 So, a crazy cult, crazy home-schoolers, crazy anti-vaxxers and crazy Birchers? An entire coalition of unhinged imbeciles that are scared of science? That's the anti-this-bill constituency and Abbott actually went along with them? He sided with the dimwits, dullards, dolts and dunces over cops and doctors?
And, yes, also the League of United Latin American Citizens, who may or may not be crazy - I've never heard of them- and did actually have a legitimate concern about the law being used to incarcerate recent immigrants, but no one thinks for a second that a Latino group had any influence on Gov Abbott. Generally, he would have voted against them just to prove his anti-brown-people bona fides.



Mary Jensen, executive director of the San Antonio branch of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, who worked to shore up support for the bill throughout the legislative process, said she was “very surprised” by the veto.
“Right now, [doctors] cannot legally hold [patients], even though they know they are a danger to themselves, or they might go back to their house and harm their family members. There is nothing a doctor can do,” said Jensen.
So there's a decent chance that some Texans may be hurt or killed because of this. Because the governor of an actual state of the USA took mental health policy advice from people who think that psychiatry is a fraud because all mental problems are caused by the ghosts of dead martians that are attached to everybody.


So, congratulations, Texas. Three governors in a row that are national embarrassments. Each one worst than the last!

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Oh Dear God!

First of all, how the hell did this take this long?


'19 Kids and Counting' Cancelled

Good Morning America

"After thoughtful consideration, TLC and the Duggar family have decided to not move forward with '19 Kids and Counting.' The show will no longer appear on the air," the network told ABC News in a statement.

Thoughtful consideration? How much fucking thought do you have to put in to cancelling a show featuring a sexual predator and the parents who covered up his crimes? And why is the Duggar Family allowed to be part of the decision? Is this one of those things like when someone gets fired the company says he "left to spend more time with his family?" Because I really don't see how the Duggars should be entitled to this kind of face-saving statement.

Oh, but it gets worse.

TLC added in its statement that a campaign to raise awareness on child sexual abuse, including upcoming work with the Duggar family on a one-hour documentary was in the network's future. 

 Are you fucking kidding me?

Not only are you going to keep doing business with this sick family, but you're enlisting them in a campaign about child sexual abuse?
Well, I guess they're the experts.

Here's the statement Jim Bob and Michelle issued regarding the abuse their daughters suffered:

With God’s grace and help, Josh, our daughters and our entire family overcame a terrible situation, found healing and a way forward. We are so pleased with the wonderful adults they have all become."

So, these are the new spokespeople for sexual abuse awareness? People whose answer is if you suffer sexual abuse, just pray about it and it will all work out just fine. Everyone will grow up and put it behind them and be just wonderful adults, including the molester who can marry, have his own children and probably about a million nieces and nephews and it's just fine for them to spend the weekend at Uncle Josh's house!

The abuser goes unpunished, the victims get no counseling or therapy, and everything is just fine.
That's the sex abuse awareness you want to spread, TLC? And you're going to pay these sickos to be involved in this farce?



Shouldn't this have gone without saying?

The great Louie DePalma once said "I never thought I'd have to make this rule, but no Vivaldi in the garage."

http://media.trb.com/media/photo/2011-10/231550240-11121012.jpg

I have to think that the CDC felt the same surprise/befuddlement when they had to issue this warning:

Don't kiss your chickens:

 Backyard flocks spread Salmonella, CDC warns




So far this year, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says at least 181 people in 40 states have been infected with Salmonella from direct contact with live poultry such as chicks, ducklings and chickens, many of which were kept in small backyard flocks. Thirty-three people had to be hospitalized.
"Many ill people in these outbreaks reported bringing the live poultry into their homes, and others reported kissing or cuddling with the live poultry," the CDC said in a statement. "These behaviors increase a person's risk of a Salmonella infection."

People are getting salmonella by making out with chickens.
I'm just going to sit here for a minute and let that sink in.
People are kissing and cuddling chickens.
The dirty bird!

"Instances of Salmonella in backyard flocks are much lower than commercial processors," she said. "Salmonella is in poop, it's in dirt -- you can get it any time you don't wash up properly. I do recommend against kissing your chickens," she added.

Yeah, because apparently chicken beaks are covered in salmonella-ridden poop! 

Jeezus, the balls on these fuckin guys!




Israel wants US compensation for Iranian deal


"There is no point in criticising the administration for now, because soon we will need to speak with the Americans about the amount of compensation to Israel,” another anonymous source told Arutz Sheva, an Israeli right wing news portal.


Compensation? Compensation? Why the fuck should you get compensation? The US and other nations made a deal with Iran. It's not costing you anything. It has nothing to do with you.


I am so goddamm sick of Israel driving our foreign policy just because a bunch of American mouth-breathers think that Jesus can't come back and start the Apocalypse without Israel being protected by us.

So, you know what Israel? The grownups are doing diplomacy. Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

And as to the matter of compensation. . .

http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/willy-wonka-good-day-sir.png

Monday, July 13, 2015

Defying the Courts


So, I don't know if you noticed, but recently the Supreme Court ruled that America has to stop treating same-sex couples like second-class citizens. When it comes to marriage, anyway. So naturally, a lot of Bible-thumpers have their Fruit of the Looms in an uproar over this development. And some of them are county clerks and judges who will now have to issue marriage licenses or perform weddings for couples even if they're both guys (Agh! The horror!) But not to worry, they've found a solution. They've come up with a very clever plan to say "nuh-unh" and "you can't make me" and "you're not the boss of me, Supreme Court."

Clerk won't issue same-sex marriage license

GRANBURY — The Hood County Clerk says she will not issue same-sex marriage licenses.
"Morally, this is wrong," Katie Lang said Monday from her office in Granbury.  "The truth is, it is in the Bible that marriage is between one man and one woman."

Um, ya know, the ironically-named Katie Lang, you might want to check your Old Testament

Solomon “had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines.” I Kings 11:3
Also, you might want to check your America, because our laws don't get based on what the Bible says, or on what Katie Lang thinks it says. 

And seriously, your name is Katie Lang? And you're a homophobe? What, did you change it from Birkenstock B. Toklas?

And it's not just her, of course. 

Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis is one of a handful of local officials across the country who have refused to comply with the court's order. Davis and others say it violates their religious beliefs. Davis told the Louisville Courier-Journal said that her "deep religious convictions" prevent her from complying with the Supreme Court's decision, and so she has decided to issue no more marriage licenses to any couple -- gay or straight.

And some clerk in Texas has actually published what she seems to think is a legal basis for giving the Supreme Court the finger.





July 4, 2015
Declaration of Obedience to Law and Defense of Natural Marriage
Whereas, the County Clerks of Texas are tasked with upholding the Constitution and Laws of the State of Texas and the written United States Constitution; and Whereas, on June 26, 2015, in Obergefell v. Hodges, five justices of the United States Supreme Court issued an opinion with no basis in the Constitution, the Fourteenth Amendment, American law, or Western history, purporting to overturn Natural Marriage and inventing a false "right" to same-sex "marriage;" and
Of course she issued this bullshit on July 4. Of course she did. Because this is an act of courage tantamount to the Founding Fathers disavowing any allegiance to the British monarchy who were sure to respond with military action. What a brave, brave woman. She could actually lose the job she's refusing to do and be forced to raise a million dollars of Go Fund Me.

But, sure. The Supremes decision had no basis in the Constitution. Obviously a low-level state functionary with no legal background knows that better than a group of experienced jurists. And yes, obviously, by allowing same-sex couples to have the same marriage rights as heteros, the Supreme Court has "overturned" "Natural" marriage. That's why no heteros can get married anymore.

Whereas, two justices essential to the majority, Elena Kagan and Ruth Bader-Ginsburg, failed to recuse themselves from Obergefell after publicly showing personal bias, in violation of federal law mandating that "Any justice...shall disqualify h[er]self....[where her] impartiality might reasonably be questioned."   (28 U.S.C.A. § 455);
And no one could possibly question the impartiality of Scalia or Thomas or Alito. Why, they're the very picture of objectivity!


Whereas, in contrast, the Declaration of Independence explicitly recognizes that the Creator has endowed mankind with inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, under the Rule of Law, consistent with the created order; and

Okay, how many times do we have to cover this? The Declaration of Independence is NOT a legal document. It was a piece of p.r. designed to convince the other monarchies of Europe not to intervene on the behalf of Britain. And I'm pretty sure that the pursuit of happiness should include being able to marry the person of your choosing. I know it was for me.

Anyway, it goes on and on like this.

But here's the thing I don't get.

Your religious beliefs make it impossible for you to, in good conscience, issue marriage licenses to gay couples? Fine. That's your right, more power to you. Then you resign in protest. You don't say "I'm only going to do the parts of my job that I feel good about."

It's great that you want to take a stand for what you believe, but why would you think that there would not be consequences?
 I was raised fundamentalist Christian. We were always told that there were going to be things out in "the world" that were going to be problematic for us, and we might have to have the courage of our convictions to stand up and say "no, I can not do this great wickedness and sin against God." But we were told that this kind of stance would have consequences. We might lose our jobs, we might lose friends, etc. Why would you think you could stand up for what you think is right and not face any repercussions?
Jesus told his disciples (somewhere in Acts, I think) that they needed to be prepared to suffer for his sake, that they would  risk persecution on his behalf. And he meant actual persecution. By the Romans. Like imprisonment, floggings, even death. Not having protesters with rainbow flags trying to make you feel bad.

But, as always, conservatives want to have it both ways.
They want to stand up for discrimination and be spared any consequences.
So enjoy the unemployment line, homophobic assholes!





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Saturday, July 11, 2015

JEB! thinks you're lazy

Had some trouble with the wi-fi for a few days. Fortunately, the Missus is good at technological things, so she got it working again. So, I've been out of the loop a bit.

Anywayyyyyy. . . .

Here's a thing that happened while I was offline:

Jeb Bush: People Need to Work Longer Hours

Jul 8, 2015, 6:35 PM ET
By

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JEB! Bush, a man who has never had a real job in his life because he was born with a silver spoon up his ass, thinks Americans need to work more hours.
Let's see his reasoning:

“My aspiration for the country and I believe we can achieve it, is 4 percent growth as far as the eye can see. Which means we have to be a lot more productive, workforce participation has to rise from its all-time modern lows. It means that people need to work longer hours” and, through their productivity, gain more income for their families. That's the only way we're going to get out of this rut that we're in.” 

Geez, where to begin?
First of all, Americans already work more hours than people in  the rest of the modern world.


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Secondly, I know you've never actually had a real job, so let me explain how it works. There are two kinds of jobs in the real world. Hourly and salaried. (for the most part. I know there's piece-work and commission, but mostly there are two types.) If your job is of the salaried variety, no amount of extra hours you work is going to result in "more income for your family." It may result in more profits for your company, but that absolutely does not translate into more monies for you.
If your job is of the hourly variety, you do not have the option to work more hours. You can't say to your boss "I'm a little light on cash this week, so I'm just gonna go ahead and put in some overtime." Every company I've ever worked for has had a strict "no unauthorized overtime" policy. You can actually get fired for working extra hours that weren't requested by your boss.

Even if you're a part-timer and your extra hours wouldn't be overtime, you're not allowed to choose to work extra. The first thing members of management learn in their training is that the number-one controllable expense for the company is payroll. There are always targets they have to meet for the number of man-hours used per day, per week, per month, and it's fine to come in under target, but they're going to catch hell if their department comes in over hours.


Third, the whole "increased productivity" thing is a scam. We're always told that by increasing their productivity, workers make themselves more valuable and are therefore able to command higher wages. It's bullshit. Increased productivity means that your company can now do more work with fewer employees. And if you think that entitles you to a raise, well there's a bunch of guys we just laid off that would love to come in here and do your job for less.

So, to whom is this campaign talking point supposed to appeal? Certainly not voters. I can't imagine the electorate wants to be told that it's your fault the economy isn't better because your lazy ass isn't working more hours. Is this just to appeal to the Kochs and the other big donors who like the idea of Bob Cratchit having to work on Christmas and he'd better shut up about wanting more coal?


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Because this seems to be the sort of thing you would say to them privately. praying that none of the waiters has his cameraphone on. You know, if you actually want to win.

So is JEB! trying to win? I mean, I'm sure he'd like to, but I don't think even he thinks he has a chance. I don't remember who said it, but someone said that this campaign is not about JEB! actually winning the White House, because he's not delusional enough to think he could. And he probably isn't in this race to increase his media profile, because he already has the name recognition. The theory is that this campaign is for his son. To show him the ropes, introduce him to important people, teach him which asses to kiss to make money fall out of them.Makes sense to me. Because there's no way he can possibly think he has a chance to actually win this.