I remember Victoria Jackson taking up space for six years on Saturday Night Live back in the 80's. And i remember her breakthrough starring role in the film Casual Sex? in 1988. I never really thought she was funny. Even when she played "Woman in Church" on the Larry the Cable Guy Christmas special, I didn't see the full breadth of her comedic talent. Then back in March, she showed up on FOX shouting crazy shit like:
And she couldn't possibly have been serious when she said:
But Hannity was buying it hook, line and sinker. And I thought, my God! she's a cross between Stephen Colbert and Andy Kaufmann!
And now the prank is being stretched to Joaquin Phoenix level.
And people are still falling for it. People actually believe that someone could seriously say:
No one could possibly believe shit like that and still be a functioning member of society. This has to be an elaborate prank, right? She's joking, isn't she? She's performing a caricature of right-wing paranoia, right? Look at her latest missive on some website called "Free Republic."
I woke up in the middle of the night and realized the trick.
You see, evil doesn’t just show up. It disguises itself as something nice; so you’ll let it in. It tricks you.
Murdering babies is called Pro-Choice. Unfair Censorship is called The Fairness Doctrine. Outlandish Taxes and the Death of Freedom is called Cap & Trade. Sounds like Fish & Chips. You gotta figure out the trick.
See, there's no way that could be serious. Even Ms. Jackson has got to know that the "Fairness Doctrine" was abolished by the Reagen administration, that no one is talking about bringing it back, and that it was the furthest thing from censorship. Also, she's gotta know that Cap and Trade sounds nothing like Fish & Chips. I mean, she's not deaf.
See, nobody could really think that visiting hospitals would be as helpful to sick people as having decent healthcare. And I'm sure she must know that Compassion International doesn't do healthcare. Here's what they do:
| || |
Compassion's Holistic Child Development Model
Our programs equip children to become independent Christian adults.
So giving money to them wouldn't have any effect on sick Americans.
No, there’s gotta be a catch. I guess this question was sitting in my brain and during my sleep, my brain was working on it, because when I suddenly awoke at 3 a.m. I had the answer.
Right, which is why all those European countries with Socialized medicine have longer life expectancies and lower infant mortality rates that we do.
Hey, yeah! And where's the debate on this so-called theory of "gravity", hmm?
Mmmmmm, what a delicious treat! Let's name this candy "Obama Administration!" It's sure to be a big seller! Oh, wait, ther's already a rock band using that name. I smell a commercial tie-in!
I have to admit, I also don't know things that aren't true. I really should pay closer attention to current non-events.