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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Bad Ads -- Amazon Fire



This is in really bad taste.


 You know, Gary Busey actually has brain damage. He was in a horrible motorcycle accident and has permanent brain damage. He's not just s weird guy, he's not just eccentric. He has brain damage and that's not funny. It's in incredibly bad taste to make a joke of his odd demeanor or behavior or whatever.


Monday, April 28, 2014

Holy God, Bill Kristol is a moron!





Conservative pundit Bill Kristol on Sunday urged people to judge NBA team owner Don Sterling by his “deeds,” and not to “go hysterical over two or three sentences” where he tells his girlfriend to stay away from black men.

Okay, fine. Fair enough, let's judge him by his deeds.

 In November of 2009, Sterling settled the suit with the US Department of Justice for $2.73 million, the largest ever obtained by the government in a discrimination case involving apartment rentals. Reading the content of the suit makes you want to shower with steel wool. Sterling just said no to rent to non-Koreans in Koreatown and just said hell-no to African-Americans looking for property in plush Beverly Hills. Sterling, who has a Blagojevichian flair for the language, says he did not like to rent to “Hispanics” because “Hispanics smoke, drink and just hang around the building.” He also stated that “black tenants smell and attract vermin.” (source)


Okay. I think we're done here.

Trying to figure out the rules

Just trying to figure out what a right-wing asshole has to do to be abandoned by the FOX crowd.

If you are a deadbeat who encourages your followers to bring weapons of war to confront the United States government, they will #StandWith you.



If you are a stunningly ignorant racist who thinks the blacks were better off before they got all these "rights," they will #StandWith you.



http://cdn01.thewrap.com/images/2013/12/PhilRobertsonDuckDynastyHannity-618x400.jpg


But apparently you can't be both.

Sean Hannity on Bundy ‘Negro’ Remarks: ‘Beyond Repugnant to Me’




Or is it maybe that you can wax nostalgic for Jim Crow and just be a good 'Merican, but longing for the days of slavery is just a bridge too far?


Then there's this:

 SundayReview | Op-Ed Columnist |​NYT Now

The Pope’s Phone Call


The source of the potential trouble lies in a place where [Pope] Francis has arguably been most effective — in the distinction he’s drawn between the doctrinal and the pastoral, between how the church expounds its moral rules and how it approaches the human beings trying to live up to them

. . .
 

Francis could actually be considering a truly major shift on remarriage and communion, in which the annulment requirement is dispensed with and (perhaps) a temporary penance is substituted.
Such a shift wouldn’t just provoke conservative grumbling; it would threaten outright schism. The church has famous martyrs to the indissolubility of Christian marriage, and its teaching on divorce and adultery is grounded not just in tradition or natural law, but in the explicit words of Jesus of Nazareth.

This means that admitting to communion people the church considers to be in permanently adulterous relationships wouldn’t just look like a modest development in doctrine. It would look like a major about-face, a doctrinal self-contradiction.


So, Ross Douche-Hat, who inexplicably has his column published not in Catholicism Today, or the Right-Wing Christian Monthly, but by the New York Freakin' Times, is criticizing the Pope. Why is it suddenly okay to criticize the Pope? Generally, don't conservative Catholics like Douche-hat believe the Pope is infallible? Or is it like Presidents? When the President is one of your guys, then the office must be respected and we must rally behind our President in times of crisis, and the President's policies must never be criticized lest we embolden terrorists. But when the President is one of the other guys, then suddenly dissent becomes once again the highest form of patriotism and by dissent we mean things like questioning his parentage, casting aspersions on his religious beliefs and inviting a man who threatened his life to the goddamm state of the union.
Is that how it works for conservative Catholics, too? When you like the Pope, he is the infallible representative of God Himself, but when you don't like him, he's just some guy who doesn't understand about Jesus! Is that how it works? I'm really trying to figure out all these rules. It must be exhausting being a right-winger, having to keep up with all these rules. No wonder they're always in such shitty moods.




 

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Ya Know, Just Because His Name Is NIxon. . .

. . . doesn't mean you have to impeach him.

A Missouri state House committee will hold hearings Wednesday into three proposed articles of impeachment against Gov. Jay Nixon (D), whom some Republicans say has committed offenses worthy of being removed from office.


Okay, so what high crimes and/or misdemeanors did this Nixon commit?

 One legislator has lodged a complaint over Nixon’s executive order last year that directed state tax officials to accept joint tax returns from same-sex couples who were legally married in other states. Nixon said in November, when he issued the order, that the state should accept the same sorts of tax returns as the Internal Revenue Service, which accepts joint returns from same-sex couples.

Wait. Are the rules different for governors? Can they be impeached without having been accused of a crime? Is "I don't like this guy" enough of a reason? I mean, I know it was enough of a reason for Issa and the Republicans to recall California governor Gray Davis, but there must be some sort of criteria for impeachment, right?

Another legislator said Nixon hadn’t moved fast enough to call special elections in three state House districts and a Senate district left vacant by resignations. State law directs the governor to call elections “without delay”; state Rep. Mike Moon’s (R) legislation accuses Nixon of breaking that law.

Um, no. No, that can not possibly be considered an impeachable offense by anyone. "Without delay" is such a vague term as to make that law virtually unbreakable. What one person might consider to be a delay another could think of as acting with prudence. And even if he did purposely delay these special elections, that seems about as serious an offense as a parking ticket. What else ya got?

 And a third legislator says Nixon deserves the boot for insufficiently punishing officials at the state Department of Public Safety for releasing a database of Missourians with permits to carry concealed weapons. In 2013, the state Highway Patrol said it had given the list of 163,000 concealed carry permit holders to a Social Security Administration agent in relation to an investigation into fraudulent disability claims.

Um, you're going to go to the mat to protect people with fraudulent disability claims? 

A top Highway Patrol official said at the time the state considered the federal request a part of a criminal investigation. Nixon didn’t immediately fire the officials responsible, as House Republicans had demanded.

Oh, he didn't immediately do what you demanded. Oh, why didn't you say so? Impeach the mother-fucker already!

 Jesus Christ, Missouri Republicans, what the fuck is wrong with you? If you don't like the governor, you go out and win the next gubernatorial election. You don't waste everyone's time and the taxpayers' money on petty vindictive bullshit that just makes you look like a bunch of mentally challenged clowns. Or, I guess you do. but you shouldn't.

Oh, and speaking of the California recall election that put a washed-up B-movie actor into the governor's mansion (because that always works out great) Darrell Issa was apparently one of the prime movers behind the recall. He invested a good chunk of his own personal fortune into the fiasco because he wanted to be governor. He was drubbed. He never came close. He was a laughingstock. The porn actress and Gary Coleman did better than he did, So it was kind of worth it.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

My new favorite Wrestler

Okay, to be fair, I have never had a favorite wrestler before because I think professional wrestling is really really stupid and also gross and offensive, but Stone Cold Steve Austin just made my day.





And also I just remembered hearing Mick Foley on Air America back in the day and he was pretty fucking great, too.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Dick Bills

There sure have been a lot of dick bills being proposed and/or passed lately. And by "dick bills," I mean bills that don't actually accomplish anything positive, but are proposed by some legislator just because he wants to be a dick. (Or she. Ladies can be dicks too)

Dick Bill # 1:
Oklahoma.

Oklahoma House passes solar surcharge bill

A bill that would allow regulated electric utilities to impose a surcharge on customers who install rooftop solar panels or small wind turbines passed the Oklahoma House of Representatives on Monday.


So if you live in Oklahoma and you decide to save some money on your electric bill by putting a solar panel on your roof or a windmill in your back yard, the state of Oklahoma says " Ha! Not so fast! You have to pay the utility company anyway, because fuck you!"

I mean, that seems to be the only purpose of the bill. I don't see anyone who benefits by this other than the electric company. Maybe I'm missing something. . .

The bill was supported by the state’s major electric utilities, but drew opposition from solar advocates, environmentalists and others. 
Hmm, nope. That sounds like pretty much what I thought.
But boy, howdy that must have been some debate in the Oklahoma statehouse, with defenders of utility company profits going head to head with people who are concerned about the environment. Must have been quite the donnybrook!

Senate Bill 1456 passed 83-5 after no debate in the House.

Oh, right. Because Oklahoma.

Dick bill # 2:
United States Congress.


Blake Farenthold Introduces Bill To Withhold Eric Holder's Paycheck

UNITED STATES - OCTOBER 04:  Rep. Blake Farenthold, R-Texas., speaks at a news conference with other House republican freshmen to call on the Senate to take up action on the budget passed in the House in April and also house passed bills that they say will spur job growth and reduce the deficit.
In a targeted swipe against Attorney General Eric Holder, Rep. Blake Farenthold (R-Texas) announced legislation Tuesday that would prohibit federal employees found in contempt of Congress from receiving government paychecks.

And, yes, honest-to-God, Blake Farenthold actually looks like that. I thought maybe it was a bad picture, so I did a Google image search and came up with these:


http://progressivepopulist.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Farenthold-Blake-12-19-11.jpg 



http://www.valleycentral.com/uploadedImages/kgbt/News/Stories/Farenthold_Blasts_Obama1.jpg?w=440&h=330&aspect=nostretch  

http://images.politico.com/global/2012/07/120702_blake_farenthold_shinkle_605.jpg 

  



But anywayyyyy. . .

This bill would allow the Angry Simpleton Caucus that currently controls the House to decide that they don't like someone like, say, Eric Holder, and find him in contempt and then declare that he doesn't get to have any monies. And it's not like there would have to be any sort of legitimate reason to find someone in contempt, I mean this is the Congress of Darrell Issa, for God's sake, they have absolutely no qualms about using their power for petty spiteful grandstanding. Also, pretty much anyone could be found to be in contempt of this Congress nbecause contempt is a natural reaction to a group this contemptible.


Dick Bill # 3:
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Florida City About To Make It Illegal For Homeless People To Have Possessions In Public


. . . the city of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida is on the cusp of passing a new regulation that would make it illegal for anyone to store their personal things on public property. Specifically, it would empower police to confiscate any personal possessions stored on public property, provided they have given the homeless person 24-hours notice. If the homeless people wish to retrieve their items, they must pay the city “reasonable charges for storage and removal of the items,” 

So, unless the city fathers truly believe that taking away a homeless person's meager possessions is going to help that homeless person stop being sop homeless all the time, this bill serves no purpose except as a means of being a total dick to homeless people. Naturally, the proposal passed unanimously because Florida.


Dick Bill # 4:
Oklahoma again

Oklahoma Governor Signs Minimum Wage Hike Ban

Now I know this sounds like just the normal amount of churlishness one would expect from a Republican governor, like a refusal to raise the state's minimum wage, but this goes that extra step into total dick land.


OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — Cities across Oklahoma are now prohibited from establishing mandatory minimum wage or vacation and sick-day requirements under a bill signed into law Monday by Gov. Mary Fallin.

Yes, that's right. It's not enough for Mary Fallin (told you ladies could be dicks) to refuse to raise the state's minimum wage, this law would prevent any city that wanted to do the decent thing from doing the decent thing. No matter that the citizens of Anytown, OK  might decide that they would like their town to require businesses to pay a living wage, the state has decided that that is not to be allowed, because Conservatives have so much respect for local governance, don't ya know.

So other than just being total dicks, what benefit do the bill's supporters claim it will have?

Supporters say the measure would prevent a hodgepodge of minimum wages in different parts of the state

Although they are apparently unable to explain why that would present a problem. (hint: because it wouldn't)

 Those against the bill also say it specifically targets Oklahoma City, where an initiative is underway to establish a citywide minimum wage higher than the current federal minimum wage. Organizers have been gathering signatures to support raising the city's minimum wage to $10.10 an hour.

Ah. That explains it. The people of Oklahoma City were trying to do a decent thing and obviously that must be prevented.  obviously, the State Government must step in to prevent a city from trying to do something positive.

Fucking Oklahoma, man! Bunch of dicks.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Can we all just stop pretending to give a shit about the Boston Marathon?

God damn it, if I hear one more fucking word about Boston or the marathon or Big fucking Papi I swear I'm going to scream

 
Or "Boston Strong," for that matter.
Apparently, we're all supposed to be just super-impressed that after a really bad thing happened in Boston the city, what. . . continued to exist? The entire populace didn't just weep in the fetal position for the rest of time?
 
Does Boston have any idea what weenies they look like making such a melodramatic spectacle of themselves after New York managed to survive NINE-FUCKING-ELEVEN? Oh, wow, Boston, you managed to pick yourselves up and dust yourselves off and go on with your lives after an entire three people were killed in your city? That's a slow afternoon in Chicago. And Three THOUSAND lives were lost on 9/11, so it's kinda hard to really feel like you had that big an ordeal. Hell, Sandy Hook had twenty children murdered in one day and you don't see them on tv every five minutes bragging about being "Sandy Hook Strong."
 
Your terrorist attack was closer top the Atlanta Olympic bombing. Two people died in Centennial Park and a hundred-plus were injured, and you didn't see anyone talking about "Atlanta Strong" or saying that the Braves had to win the World Series so that the nation could heal.
 
A very bad thing happened in your city. Get over it. Bad things happen everywhere. Right now, as you read this, someone is being murdered somewhere in the US. And that's tragic. But the city in which that person is being killed is not going to see this murder as an opportunity for obnoxious self-aggrandizement.
 
PS, no one gives a shit that an American won the Boston Marathon this year, because no one has ever given a shit about who wins any marathon because marathons are relentlessly boring and no one cares. And because the assholes who bombed the finish line at the Boston Marathon weren't actually angry at marathons, or eager to prevent people from running them, so it's not really that big a fuck-you to those scumbags to have an American win.


Thursday, April 17, 2014

Probably seemed like a good idea at the time




Utah high school teacher who had kids brainstorm genitalia slang gets paid leave


Wait, what? Genitalia slang?

“We had some students who reported to administration that a teacher was having an exercise where they were put into groups, male and female, to come up with names for genitalia,” Weber School District spokesman Nate Taggart told the Standard-Examiner. “These were any names that the kids could come up with, and then they were listed on the board.”

And you didn't see any potential problems with this?
 You didn't think anyone was going to be offended by having your students come up with new versions of "dick" and "pussy?" In UTAH?

When the concerned students told school officials about the exercise, the officials rushed to William’s classroom.

“It was still on the whiteboard, and they had her erase it immediately,” Taggart told the Standard-Examiner. He also noted that the school district found the lesson inappropriate.

Inappropriate? Jeezus Christ, Larry Flynt would find that inappropriate!
Okay, no he wouldn't. But still. . .


A spokesman for the local teachers union, Matt Ogle,

Wait. Ogle? Seriously, Ogle?

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/4770223/ogling-o.gif




Okay, anyway. . .

Matt Ogle, explained that Williams got the idea to have students share colloquialisms for male and female genitalia when she attended a Career and Technical Education conference at which other teachers imparted their favorite classroom strategies.

Wait. There's at least one other teacher using the "weiner/coochie" technique? And she's out there recommending this to other teachers?  And they invite this teacher to Education conferences?

Okay, I must be missing something here, maybe this “Adult Roles and Financial Literacy” class is about sexual anatomy? Or maybe the "Adult Roles" class has a module on behaving like children?


A course description obtained by the Standard-Examiner explains that the course is designed to prepare students to “understand the nature, function and significance of individual and family relationships integrated with general financial literacy.”

Oookay. So much for that idea.

The class offers concurrent college credit to enrolled high school students.

I'm assuming you can get credit from the University of South Carolina?


Or maybe Oregon State?
 


The union spokesman noted that Williams won’t have students brainstorm about sex organ monikers in the future.

Seems wise.





Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Huckabee surges ahead in the crazy asshole competition

So apparently there was something called the "Freedom Summit" in New Hampshire whee various Republican 2016 hopefuls paraded theur various delusions for some of the donor class, and out of a lineup which included Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Donald Trump, who would have guessed that Mike Huckabee would have distinguished himself as the nut of the day?

And this is, of course, the position he wants to be in. Huckabee is presumably angling to be this year's Herman Cain. For "candidates" like Huckabee, your best bet is to position yourself as the craziest asshole in the field. That's rthe kind of attention you want. You don't want to actually win the Republican primary, because then you have to do mre work and you're going to lose anyway. You want to finish maybe 2nd or 3rd, do well enough to pretend you were a serious contender and keep yourself fat and happy on wingnut welfare and never have to worry about holding any actual public office again, because that's hard work. Anywayyyy. . . . here's what Huckabee said to put him in first place in the insane idiot race:

“My gosh, I’m beginning to think that there’s more freedom in North Korea sometimes than there is in the United States,” he said in his remarks. “When I go to the airport, I have to get in the surrender position, people put hands all over me, and I have to provide photo ID and a couple of different forms and prove that I really am not going to terrorize the airplane – but if I want to go vote I don’t need a thing.”
Wow.
I mean, just . . . wow!
More freedom in North Korea? Please feel free to go there!
You do realize that you just talked about how you get to vote, right? You know they don't get to do that in North Korea, right? I mean, I guess they get to go to a polling place and fill out a ballot, but it only has one fucking name on it, and that one name somehow ends up with more votes than there are people in the entire country, but on the other hand, you have to show ID at the airport! Tyranny!!!!

And no one is putting their hands all over you at the airport, no matter how desperately you try to look you might be hiding something down your pants. No TSA agent gets paid enough for that.

And when do you ever have to show more than one form of ID at the airport? I have been on a few airplane flights in my day and my Georgia Driver's License is all I've ever had to show for a domestic flight. My passport is all I ever have to show to fly international. No one is asking you for multiple forms of ID, you liar.

Also, the reason you have to show ID at the airport, but not at the voting booth (for now) is beacuse flying is not a fundamental right of citizenship like voting is (for now).

And all those TSA regulations, the full body scans and pat-downs and what-not, those were all put in by your friends in the Bush Administration. But sure, it wasn't an impingement on your FREDOMMMMMMM until January of 2009, right?







Monday, April 14, 2014

Bill O'Reilly is Ridiculous.

This morning, I heard a clip of Bill O'Reilly on the Jimmy Dore Show podcast. He was talking about students at UConn and Kentucky rioting after basketball games. And, yes, for the record, rioting is bad. People who vandalize property or otherwise commit mayhem in response to a basketball game should be arrested and punished in some way. No one on this blog is going to justify students rioting about basketball. But Bufoon Bill had this to say about the kids today:

". . . mindless vandalism, contempt for authority; 18 people hurt, multiple arrests. There is no political component involved. The mayhem is happening because of a breakdown of respect for property and authority." 

Oh, contempt for authority. Gee, where would the kids learn something like that?

Surely not from a television network that has spent the last 5-plus years slandering the President of the United States? Or from a movement that has spent decades trashing the very idea of government? I mean, my God, it's not like anyone on FOX has spent the last week glorifying the thugs that are defying the authority of the Bureau of Land Management, right? Oh, wait. . .


Sunday, April 13, 2014

They've finally done it.

They've finally done it. The wingnut right has finally found their excuse to take up arms against the government of the United States of America. They've been threatening a "new Civil War" or a "new Amercican Revolution" for about 6 years now, and this weekend they finally found the martyr behind whom they could rally.

http://guerillamedianetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/GMN_BundyRanch_Cover-300x211.png

 Surprisingly, the martyr is just some moocher asshole who thinks he can pick and choose which laws apply to him and which don't because he doesn't like them.

Cliven Bundy has been grazing his cattle on Federal lands for decades. Which he is certainly allowed to do, except that at some point, he just decided to stop paying the required fees. Why? Mainly because he is an asshole. But also because he has some convoluted theory that since his ancestors grazed cattle on those lands since the 1800's, he should somehow be allowed to use these lands, owned by the American people, for free. Because, like most anti-government extremists, he has no problem taking free stuff from the Federal Government that he hates so much, and for which he has no need, but they should provide him free grazing land because, um. . . 'Murica!

“My forefathers have been up and down the Virgin Valley ever since 1877. All these rights I claim have been created through pre-emptive rights and beneficial use of the forage and the water. I have been here longer."
 
The freedom to use Federal lands for free, apparently.



Bundy apparently thinks he does not owe any monies to the dang guv'mint, and also claims that he has tried to pay the monies to the local county government which does not own the land, does not manage the land, has no claim to the land, and really wants no part of this.

And he said this:


Bundy is also making sure to remind everyone that he is not opposed to Second Amendmenting his way to a resolution of his legal troubles. In 2013, he told the Las Vegas Sun that “he keeps firearms at his ranch” and is willing to “do whatever it takes” to protect his property. He added that “I abide by all state laws. But I abide by almost zero federal laws.”

Because nothing says "patriot hero" like a dumb fuck redneck who refuses to follow his nation's laws.


I told you that I did the legal thing and the political thing and the media thing and it seems like it’s down to we the people if we’re going to get it done. You know the things like militias. You know, I haven’t called no militia or anything like that, but hey it looks like that’s where we’re at. We got a strong army here, we have to fight, their [unintelligible] to back off.

of course, he absolutely did not do the legal thing, I have no idea what "political thing" he is referring to, and whether or not he "called no militia," the militia has arrived. Dozens of like-minded "git off'n mah land" heroes have assembled in the Nevada desert, brandishing military-style assault weapons and looking for a fight.

the Bureau of Land Management, not wanting to kill a bunch of Americans, even those that are clearly asking for it, backed down, and stopped the confiscation of Bundy's cattle. So the right-wing terrorists are claiming victory. We should expect to see more and more of these emboldened groups of armed assholes showing up whenever they don't get their way, because now they think they can win. Just like when the Mujahadin drove the Soviets out of Afghanistan, making bin Laden and his thugs into heroic figures and attracting new adherents to the cause, more and more of gthe militia-type gun nuts are going to see the fight against the Federal Government of the USA as one that is winnable, which will probably just encourage more of this type of terrorism.

noun: terrorism
  1. 1.
    the use of violence and intimidation in the pursuit of political aims.

Of course, these tea-bagging terrorists are completely delusional, if they think that they would actually stand a chance against the most powerful armed forces the world has ever seen, but hell, how delusional do you have to be to believe the other shit they believe?

Like that Barack Obama favors gay marriage, abortion on demand AND the implementation of Sharia Law!

Or that Barack Obama is a weak-kneed, dithering apologizer AND an iron-fisted tyrant!

Or that the government of the State of Hawaii, the Kapi'olani Hospital, and the Honolulu newspapers all entered into a conspiracy to fake the birthplace of Barack Obama because they knew that a few decades hence, the miced-race son of a single mother with a weird, foreign-sounding name and the face of a teenager would be a formidable candidate for President.


So, yeah, this is happening now.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Are they even trying anymore?

Are they even trying to pretend like their voter suppression laws are addressing any actual problem? Are they even trying to justify them?

Check out Kris "papers, please" Kobach discussing Kansas's voter ID law on some radio show:

Kaufman: I can’t imagine how many widows are voting for their dead husbands in communities like I lived in.

 Kobach: Yeah, it happens all the time


Okay. . .sure. How would that even work, exactly?

Hello, I'd like a ballot, please. Name John Smith.

Okay, ma'am, but, oh - it says here that John Smith is a man and you, ma'am, appear to be a woman.

Oh, yes, I'm Mary Smith. I'm his wid--ahem, his wife.

Ah, well then, by all means here are two ballots. One for you and one for the hubby. Obviously, since no ID is required to vote, I just have to assume that you have his proxy!

That's what you think is happening "all the time?"
Couldn't you at least put some modicum of effort into coming up with some story about a person who looks through the obituaries and jots down the names of recently deceased persons of THE SAME GENDER and then goes to polling places to impersonate those dead persons so he can vote multiple times even though it is like pulling teeth to get people to vote ONCE? It's like you're not even trying to pretend that these laws aren't bigoted.


          Kaufman: And it’s not bigoted.
Kobach: It’s not at all!

Kaufman: You’re not doing it to close the doors on minorities

Kobach: Yeah, exactly. And I think it’s outrageous the argument some make that it hurts minorities. It’s almost a racist argument!


Oh, my mistake. I take it back. Obviously you're not targeting minorities at all. I can tell because you say that you're not targeting minorities at all. Case closed!


  - See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/kris-kobach-claims-voter-fraud-real-because-widows-vote-their-late-husbands-all-time#sthash.1vbcgAvW.dpuf

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Seriously, Mike Huckabee?

When asked in an interview why he continues to oppose marriage rights for same-sex couples, even in the face of the overwhelming obviousness of how wrong he is, Huckabee said this:

". . . when people say, 'Why don't you just kind of get on the right side of history?' I said, 'You've got to understand, this for me is not about the right side or the wrong side of history, this is the right side of the Bible, and unless God rewrites it, edits it, sends it down with his signature on it, it's not my book to change,'" he added, as quoted by CNN.

Oooookay. . .

 So, um. . . you do know that the Bible you have now didn't float down from Heaven with God's autograph on it, right? I mean, if the only way you'll change your position on an issue is if you get instructions signed, sealed, and delivered from the Almighty Himself, then I don't see how you can base your current position on a book of such uncertain authorage. No one knows who wrote the various books and letters contained in the Good Book. We attribute some of them to Moses, others to St Paul, but no one really knows. But I can guarantee you they weren't carved into stone tablets atop Mt Sinai. People wrote them. People wrote down their thoughts and ideas about the Deity and someone collected those writings and called it the Bible.

And don't pretend like you don't already perform your own edits on the Scriptures. You seem to have no qualms about editing out the parts about "judge not, lest ye be judged," or "sell all you have and give the money to the poor." or "it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven." You have no problem ignoring those parts, but the part about gay marriage which isn't even mentioned in the Bible, that part is sacrosanct? That part that isn't there, that's the part that you couldn't possibly presume to change?

Are you sure it's not just that you're a hater?

"I'm not against anybody. I'm really not," he said. "I'm not a hater. I'm not homophobic." 

Uh, yeah. . . Pretty sure you are, Gomer.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

My Apologies

I know.
I know I've been very neglectful of my duties lately.
Work has been in - sane!
Hopefully, things will soon be back to normal.
We appreciate your patience.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Stupid person says maybe the studiest thing ever

This incredibly stupid person is named Patrice Lewis.



 You know she's extra-stupid from the get-go, because she writes for Wing Nut Daily. And no, I don't normally cruise around on WND, but there was a link on Wonkette.

Anyway, as you might imagine, her entire article, entitled "I live the life feminists hate," is stunningly, head-slappingly stupid. But this one sentence really stood out as maybe the stupidest thing ever.

As much as feminists want to deny reality, the fact remains that men and women are biologically different. (Scandalous, I know.)


Wow! Yes, that's exactly what feminists do. They totally deny the reality that men and women are biologically different, hence the old feminist slogan "what do you mean men don't have vaginas?"

And this sentence, pointing out that men have wieners and women have, um, something other than wieners? I think? anyway, this sentence is used to support her central thesis that the best way to have a happy relationship is to let the dude be in charge. Because otherwise, why wouldn't everyone have the same bodies, hmm? Ever think of that, feminists?


 Oh, and the triumphalism with which she tosses out her knowledge of facts and her charge that "feminists" somehow try to deny this "fact," so touche', case closed, chalk up another win for Patrice!

Honest to God, this whole article is really that stupid. Starting with sentence # 1:


In the wake of some feminist headlines this week (such as this and this), I am going to confess something so shocking, so appalling and so outrageously backward to the progressive cause that I’m certain feminists the world over will faint in horror.
Ready? Here it goes: My husband is the head of our household.



Oh, yes. Shocking. Because we had no idea that old-fashioned people still existed. It never occurred to us coastal elites that some people still live with a 19th Century mindset. Catch me, I'm fainting. Zzzzzzzzz. . .

Actually, to be fair, it gets stupid even before the first sentence. Check out the byline:

REAL AMERICA

I live the life feminists hate

Exclusive: Patrice Lewis boldly declares, 'My husband is the head of our household'


"Real America!" Of course, because people who have relationships based on mutual respect and equality are obviously not real Americans.

And "boldly declares?" Mt God, she really thinks this is some courageous declaration! Oh, she's a rebel, all right. She's thinking outside the box and she's not a afraid to go there!


In today’s world marinated with progressive morals and ideals, it’s tantamount to heresy for a woman to freely admit that her husband heads the household. But let’s face it: It makes life easier for both my husband and me.



You know, any time someone begins a thought with "let's face it," you know they're going to say something stunningly stupid as though it were inescapably true. And Patrice doesn't disappoint.


 I like to think that God in His divine wisdom came up with the spiffy concept of a division of labor for the sake of efficiency. Divisions of labor are utilized the world over in the workplace to increase efficiency. Why not try it at home as well?


Geezus, where to start? I guess with "spiffy?" Spiffy? Is she trying to be cute? Trying to be clever? Trying to be funny? Or is this a word she actually uses in real life? Since she appears not to have been a teen in the 1950's, I gotta think she's trying to be clever in some way, but, um "suh-wing and a miss!"

 

Also, you really want to model your marriage on the workplace? Would you like your husband to be able to fire you? Or maybe outsource your duties to someone younger and cheaper? You think the workplace dynamic is something you'd like to import into your home life? Oh, you are the last of the hopeless romantics, aren't you?

And, yes, most marriages and other domestic arrangements utilize a division of labor. For instance, I generally handle most food-related tasks and the Missus handles most money-related jobs. That way, we can live in a house and enjoy meals. That's perfectly normal. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with one person being the "head" of the house.


 I am the Heart of this household, and as everyone knows, a body is no good without a heart, just as a body is no good without a head. We need both, and the fact that I view my husband as my Head in no way diminishes my importance as his Heart.


The kids are the lungs of the house. My in-laws are the spleen. Grandma is the liver. It's pretty complicated.

A wise Head takes advice and counsel from his Heart. My husband and I discuss all household decisions and mutually agree on nearly everything. But if there is a dissenting opinion between us, and unless I can demonstrate why my position is superior, then I defer to his guidance.


But why?
Why couldn't he defer to you? Or why couldn't the two of you work out some sort of compromise? Why couldn't whoever feels less strongly defer to the one who is more passionate on the subject? Why should the default be you always deferring to him? For the record, it would be just as sad if he felt that he had to always defer to you. Why does either party have to have deference be their default position?

Why is it oppressive or subservient to look to one’s husband for guidance and strength, rather than to feminists? Why can’t it be a freeing thing for a woman to lean on her husband? Unless she’s unmarried, it’s comforting when a woman doesn’t have to “do it all.”


See, that's what you call a false choice. Actually a couple of them. Your only two options are not " look to one’s husband for guidance and strength" or "look to 'feminists.'" One might, for instance look within for strength. One might be surprised what one might find. Or one might ask for guidance from an older relative, say a mother or aunt or maybe look to one's friends. I don't know, there are tons of options.
Also, the choice isn't between looking to your husband for strength and guidance on leaning on him or having to do it all yourself. It's wonderful if you have someone in your life that can help you shoulder your burdens. That doesn't mean you have to give up your own ability to shoulder things.

Much of the hostility toward stay-at-home moms appears to stem from the notion that home is an awful place to be.


Also, it seems to stem mainly from your fevered imagination. Who is hostile towards stay-at-home moms? I've never heard anyone directing any hostility towards them.

But a home ruled over by a domestic diva who appreciates her man is a lovely, warm, welcoming place, a refuge from an often cruel world, an anchor of peace in a tough economy, a haven of tranquility against the rigors of the outside world.

And men know this very well, because they are the slayers of dragons and our knights in shining armor whose efforts permit us to create those homes.




Wow! Just. . . wow!
You know there are many women who create homes without the aid of a dragon-slaying armor guy, right? My sister, for instance. Her husband died at a tragically young age and she has made a wonderful loving home for herself and her children - believe it or not, all by herself!




 So I guess my point is fuck Patrice Lewis, the stupidest person ever!