Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Huckabee surges ahead in the crazy asshole competition

So apparently there was something called the "Freedom Summit" in New Hampshire whee various Republican 2016 hopefuls paraded theur various delusions for some of the donor class, and out of a lineup which included Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Donald Trump, who would have guessed that Mike Huckabee would have distinguished himself as the nut of the day?

And this is, of course, the position he wants to be in. Huckabee is presumably angling to be this year's Herman Cain. For "candidates" like Huckabee, your best bet is to position yourself as the craziest asshole in the field. That's rthe kind of attention you want. You don't want to actually win the Republican primary, because then you have to do mre work and you're going to lose anyway. You want to finish maybe 2nd or 3rd, do well enough to pretend you were a serious contender and keep yourself fat and happy on wingnut welfare and never have to worry about holding any actual public office again, because that's hard work. Anywayyyy. . . . here's what Huckabee said to put him in first place in the insane idiot race:

“My gosh, I’m beginning to think that there’s more freedom in North Korea sometimes than there is in the United States,” he said in his remarks. “When I go to the airport, I have to get in the surrender position, people put hands all over me, and I have to provide photo ID and a couple of different forms and prove that I really am not going to terrorize the airplane – but if I want to go vote I don’t need a thing.”
Wow.
I mean, just . . . wow!
More freedom in North Korea? Please feel free to go there!
You do realize that you just talked about how you get to vote, right? You know they don't get to do that in North Korea, right? I mean, I guess they get to go to a polling place and fill out a ballot, but it only has one fucking name on it, and that one name somehow ends up with more votes than there are people in the entire country, but on the other hand, you have to show ID at the airport! Tyranny!!!!

And no one is putting their hands all over you at the airport, no matter how desperately you try to look you might be hiding something down your pants. No TSA agent gets paid enough for that.

And when do you ever have to show more than one form of ID at the airport? I have been on a few airplane flights in my day and my Georgia Driver's License is all I've ever had to show for a domestic flight. My passport is all I ever have to show to fly international. No one is asking you for multiple forms of ID, you liar.

Also, the reason you have to show ID at the airport, but not at the voting booth (for now) is beacuse flying is not a fundamental right of citizenship like voting is (for now).

And all those TSA regulations, the full body scans and pat-downs and what-not, those were all put in by your friends in the Bush Administration. But sure, it wasn't an impingement on your FREDOMMMMMMM until January of 2009, right?







3 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Someone should give that huckleberry a briefing on what North Korea is really like.

mitchethekid said...

Great writing! Very Jon Stewart. It's a talent to state the obvious in a deliciously mocking way.

Professor Chaos said...

Wow, thanks Mitch! High praise indeed.